The Yarns We Had

By Cyril W. Greenham

The Yarns We Had is a collection of stories that were handed down to Cyril W. Greenham by his father, Wilbur Greenham, and grandfather, Andrew (Chum) Greenham. Both men were fishermen and seagoing captains from Notre Dame Bay, and in this collection, they relate the wit and humour of outport Newfoundlanders in the early to mid-twentieth century. On the surface, these oral histories are the lighthearted reminiscences of the fun and mischief these rough-and-ready men and their friends got into after their work was done. Tall tales of moonshine makers dodging the law, devilish pranksters aboard fishing vessels, raucous rows and bawdy misbehaviour in a religious-minded community—this book has it all. However, underneath the comedy, these stories are a reminder of a time when life was difficult and the average family didn’t know if they would survive from one year to the next. People worked hard and had very little money, but despite this, they maintained a sense of humour that, to this day, makes Newfoundland and Labrador one of the most hospitable places in the world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Flanker Press
• Release date: Feb 22, 2013
• ISBN: 9781771172219

Cyril W. Greenham

Cyril W. Greenham was born and grew up in Twillingate, Newfoundland. His father, Wilbur Greenham, and grandfather, Andrew (Chum) Greenham, were both sea captains, and Cyril was initiated to the sea, and stories of it, at a very young age. In the early 1950s, Wilbur Greenham owned a little schooner, and six-year-old Cyril was often rocked to sleep on board. Captain Andrew (Chum) Greenham and his son Captain Wilbur Greenham were storytellers par excellence, and very popular around the coast of Newfoundland and Labrador. Cyril had a very close relationship with his father, and whenever they were together they often indulged in yarning about the “old times.” Cyril soaked it all up like a sponge. The author wanted to become a sea captain like his dad, but after completing high school in 1963 he attended Memorial University of Newfoundland, where he received a BA (Ed) and a BA (French). He spent most of his life as a language teacher throughout Newfoundland, and he currently works part-time as an ESL in Toronto, Ontario. He devotes the rest of his time to keeping alive Newfoundland’s unique way of life and the memory of a father dearly loved.

Book preview

THE YARNS WE HAD

CYRIL W. GREENHAM

Flanker Press LIMITED

St. John’s

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Greenham, Cyril W., 1945-

The yarns we had [electronic resource] / Cyril W. Greenham.

Electronic monograph issued in various formats.

Also issued in print format.

ISBN 978-1-77117-221-9 (EPUB).--ISBN 978-1-77117-222-6 (KINDLE).--

ISBN 978-1-77117-223-3 (PDF)

1. Newfoundland and Labrador--Social life and customs--20th

century. 2. Newfoundland and Labrador--History--20th century.

3. Newfoundland and Labrador--Anecdotes. I. Title.

FC2168.G74 2013 971.8 C2013-900066-6

———————————————————————————————

© 2013 by Cyril W. Greenham

all rights reserved.

No part of the work covered by the copyright hereon may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means—graphic, electronic or mechanical—without the written permission of the publisher. Any request for photocopying, recording, taping, or information storage and retrieval systems of any part of this book shall be directed to Access Copyright, The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency, 1 Yonge Street, Suite 800, Toronto, ON M5E 1E5. This applies to classroom use as well.

Printed in Canada

Cover Design: Adam Freake

Flanker Press Ltd. PO Box 2522, Station C St. John’s, NL Canada

Telephone: [phone] Fax: [phone] Toll-free: 1-866-739-4420

www.flankerpress.com

17 16 15 14 13

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Book Publishing Industry Development Program (BPIDP) for our publishing activities; the Canada Council for the Arts which last year invested $24.3 million in writing and publishing throughout Canada; the Government of Newfoundland and Labrador, Department of Tourism, Culture and Recreation.

TO THE MEMORY OF MY FATHER

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1

Paddy

Chapter 2

Gobbled or Un-gobbled?

Chapter 3

What Happened to Your Power?

Chapter 4

Rope off the Swatch

Chapter 5

Ruckus in the Courtroom

Chapter 6

The Can of Milk

Chapter 7

The Graveyard Spook

Chapter 8

Man Overboard

Chapter 9

Bare Poles

Chapter 10

The Groaner

Chapter 11

I Almost Got Him, My Son

Chapter 12

My Sister was Born

Chapter 13

The Sack of Berries

Chapter 14

There’s Neither Cock Amongst You

Chapter 15

Festery Head

Chapter 16

The Bessie Marie

Chapter 17

He Flopped His Bag into the Bowl of Pea Soup

Chapter 18

Be the Jesus, I Don’t Know

Chapter 19

The Lady Macdonald

Chapter 20

In the Name of the Queen

Chapter 21

Goodbye, Bessie

Chapter 22

Live Man in the Grave

Chapter 23

The Algerine

Chapter 24

Man Killed at House-haul

Chapter 25

Across the Bay with the Magistrate

Chapter 26

One Hundred MPH on Twillingate Long Point

Chapter 27

Grandmother Always Had Plenty of Clothes

Chapter 28

The Handbar

Chapter 29

My Beer was Ready to Bottle Off

Chapter 30

Jim and Poor Ole Grandfather

Chapter 31

Teddy Half Overboard in the White Bay

Chapter 32

I Love You, Jesus

Chapter 33

How Can You Jump Overboard and Not Get Wet?

Chapter 34

Jim was a Wonderful One to Swipe

Chapter 35

It is Still Thirty-five Cents an Hour, Skipper

Chapter 36

Ten-dollar Loan for the Nuptials

Chapter 37

Over Tickle Bridge and Face and Eyes on the Rocks

Chapter 38

Father Had One Wonderful Face

Chapter 39

The Arctic Sealer

Chapter 40

The SS Kyle

Chapter 41

If She’s Not It’s Her Own Bloody Fault

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

This book is the second one that I have written, and, like the first one, Return from Hell, I will be asked why I wrote it.

Well, in one regard, the answer is the same: I love to write—I know of few things that can be as fulfilling as writing.

I guess, to some people, writing a book at the age of sixty-two, then another at sixty-five, seems a smidgen too late; and, as well, they perhaps feel that a person who sits in front of a computer, thinking, editing, etc., for months on end, must be kind of an oddball. Well, these people obviously have never written, and felt that pleasure of the pen gliding across the page—once the pen starts to glide, it develops a momentum of its own.

Now, to the second reason: I love to yarn and tell stories. In that regard, I guess I am not unlike my dad—and his dad—who was the super chap to reminisce. I imagine he listened to so many tall tales that Grandfather told—he was the storyteller par excellence—that he soaked it all up like a sponge, and became almost as popular around the coast of Newfoundland as Skipper Andrew (Chum) Greenham, his dad. They both spent most of their lives as sea captains.

Now, to the next reason: I like to entertain; and what better way to do so, than write a catchy, difficult-to-put-down book—well written, with a strong and consistent voice, to quote the editor of a certain publishing company, who read my first book, Return from Hell.

Unlike Return from Hell, a book of memoirs, which was more serious—my battle with alcohol addiction—this little compilation of forty-one stories that my dad relished to tell me will be much more interesting, because of its levity.

Perhaps the one thing, more than anything else, that spurred me to take pen in hand and write The Yarns We Had, was my perhaps subliminal urge to keep alive the memory of my father. I loved him dearly; he was a man I would have walked through enfilading gunfire for; and, to indulge my memory, by writing this book, is a fine way to keep us together. If there is any substitute for love, it is memory.

The stories deal with life in outport Newfoundland in the early to mid-twentieth century: a period when times were very difficult—people worked like slaves, had practically no money, but, despite this, maintained a sense of humour that, to this day, makes Newfoundland one of the most hospitable places in the world. Newfoundlanders certainly gave the lie to the idea that you could only be happy if you had a lot of money!

I guess their chats and storytelling—along with their crocks of homebrew beer—was one way to create a unique camaraderie that made for a way of life that enabled them to cope with their adversity. Never could times be harder; but, never could the people be more contented—humble, simple, hospitable, happy-go-lucky Newfoundlanders!

The stories in this book will help portray this way of life, and, hopefully, help keep the memory of it alive. It would be a sad thing indeed, for generations to come, if this unique way of living ever faded into oblivion.

* * *

The Newfoundland dialect, of course, is unique, and there will be some expressions, words, etc. that will be unfamiliar to some non-Newfoundlanders; but, believe me, the appearance of grammar errors or typos will be just that: the appearance. To change it to the so-called standard language would take away from the book.

Of course, if I tried to transcribe the words as they are pronounced by Newfoundlanders, it would be nigh on impossible—I am not the world’s greatest linguist! So, the spelling will conform to the so-called standard.

For the most part, the names are real, but, where anonymity would be in order, I have used aliases.

Enjoy your read. I hope my dad will be up there somewhere, looking down on you. I am sure he would have some humorous quip!

CHAPTER 1

PADDY

My father was a person who just loved to reminisce about his early life, and when he did, Paddy would often enter the picture. And he would usually begin his stories about Paddy with the following remark: Paddy was a wonderful one to fart, especially when the strain came on him.

When Father was a young man in the 1920s and 1930s, a lot of families had a dog team or a horse to help them haul their firewood from the woods; and, so it was with Skipper Andrew (Chum) Greenham, my grandfather. He acquired a little horse—so small that pony might be a more appropriate description—and named him Paddy.

Since Father was the eldest child of Skipper Andrew (Chum) Greenham, he obviously had the opportunity to use Paddy more than his younger brothers, and Paddy was considered Dad’s horse—well, pony.

Dad certainly had a warm spot in his heart for Paddy, and you could hear it in the inflection of his voice as he talked of him. As well, you could always sense a pity, a sorrow, and a quasi-guilt. He always felt that, given Paddy’s size, he was driven too hard. He would say that this little skin and bones of a horse never deserved to be born, and I am sure that he must have occasionally whispered in Paddy’s ear, and begged forgiveness. Later in life, when Dad and I would yarn about these long-ago years of his life, he would often