In Search of a Family: A Story of an International Adoption

By Ginger Carlisle and Kevin Carlisle

In Search of a Family: A Story of an International Adoption takes the reader inside a personal journey through the unknowns of an international adoption. This true story takes place in the ex-Soviet bloc country of Ukraine. As they travel through this young, independent republic, Kevin and Ginger Carlisle encounter numerous obstacles that could derail their hopes of achieving their dream of creating a new family.

Braving Ukrainian election tensions and protestors, heartbreaking events, financial concerns, and changing adoption policies, they navigate the emotional and psychological maze of the bureaucracy and physical logistics of an international adoption. An eleventh hour attempt by the children’s family member jeopardizes their attempt in searching for a family.

The Carlisles endure the hardships of the language barrier and infrastructure but are able to uncover the little-known beauty of Ukraine and its people, all while placing their life in the United States on hold. As their destiny patiently waits, they keep reciting the mantra of all those who had come before them: Keep your focus on the goal of bringing home your children.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Atlantic Publishing Group Inc.
• Release date: Nov 30, 2009
• ISBN: 9781601385574

Book preview

In Search of a Family:

A Story of an International Adoption

By Kevin and Ginger Carlisle

In Search of a Family: A Story of an International Adoption

Copyright © 2010 Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc.

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SAN Number: 268-1250

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be sent to Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc., 1405 SW 6th Avenue, Ocala, Florida 34471.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Carlisle, Kevin, 1955-

In search of a family : a story of an international adoption / by Kevin & Johanna Carlisle.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN-13: 978-1-60138-511-6 (alk. paper)

ISBN-10: 1-60138-511-0 (alk. paper)

1. Intercountry adoption. 2. Adoption--Ukraine. 3. Adoption--United States. I. Carlisle, Johanna, 1948- II. Title.

HV875.5.C37 2009

362.734--dc22

2009036430

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•  Adopt and rescue a pet from a local shelter.

•  Support local and no-kill animal shelters.

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•  Be a developer — put up some birdhouses.

•  Buy live, potted Christmas trees and replant them.

•  Make sure you spend time with your animals each day.

•  Save natural resources by recycling and buying recycled products.

•  Drink tap water, or filter your own water at home.

•  Whenever possible, limit your use of or do not use pesticides.

•  If you eat seafood, make sustainable choices.

•  Support your local farmers market.

•  Get outside. Visit a park, volunteer, walk your dog, or ride your bike.

Five years ago, Atlantic Publishing signed the Green Press Initiative. These guidelines promote environmentally friendly practices, such as using recycled stock and vegetable-based inks, avoiding waste, choosing energy-efficient resources, and promoting a no-pulping policy. We now use 100-percent recycled stock on all our books. The results: in one year, switching to post-consumer recycled stock saved 24 mature trees, 5,000 gallons of water, the equivalent of the total energy used for one home in a year, and the equivalent of the greenhouse gases from one car driven for a year.

Dedication

To our children

Tanya, Max & Jennifer

and all the children in orphanages around the world

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Preface

Foreword

Introduction

History

Editor’s Note

Chapter 1: The Journey Begins

Chapter 2: Another Try

Chapter 3: Meeting the Children

Chapter 4: Getting to Know the Children

Chapter 5: Progress

Chapter 6: It is Official

Chapter 7: Home

Epilogue

End Notes

Acknowledgements

About the Authors

Preface

Why do people adopt? The reasons are often as emotional and varied as the individual’s circumstances. They can range from the loss of a child to a burning desire to help a child in need.

Adoption is undertaken with some trepidation and fear of the unknown, and the problems that may be encountered are immeasurable. Government agencies changing policies during an ongoing adoption, financial considerations, and the children’s potential health problems are all considerable challenges in the adoption process. Each adoption is as unique as the individuals who are undertaking the process.

As this story evolves, you will feel yourself drawn into the exhausting experience of a process so unusual and foreign that you will be convinced that you are physically present at every emotional episode. The ending is revealed only after all conceivable twists and turns have taken place…the reader emotionally spent.

This book is an unaltered account of one journey, written in real time, as the events occurred. The situations and names are authentic. Our intention is to convey the critically important concept of family, the role it plays in all of our lives and for those who are able; to help a child realize that precious goal. To all those contemplating or currently involved with an adoption, despite the problems you are encountering, you need to stay focused on your goal: the children.

Table of Contents

Foreword

My name is Cathy Harris. I am single mother of ten children, eight of whom were adopted overseas from Ukraine.

I originally chose adoption because after having two boys, I wanted a little girl to add to our family. My mother was adopted as an infant, and when we found her birth family, we discovered that she is Ukrainian. This is why I chose to adopt a child from Ukraine.

I left for Ukraine on February 14, 1998 in search of my daughter. What I did not know was that this would turn into a life-changing mission, as I found myself eventually adopting eight children in total.

I founded Ukrainian Angels to help other families in the adoption process, because I was a victim of overpriced adoption agencies and attorneys. Today, Ukrainian Angels has helped more then 1,005 families adopt children from Ukraine.

Ukrainian Angels is a support group made up of families that have adopted their children without using an agency or attorney. We find that many of these families initially contact us because they are searching for a reasonable and affordable way to adopt children from overseas. Many families have the resources to take care of a child, but cannot afford to spend $50,000 or more on an adoption.

I met the Carlisle family on March 28, 2006 when they contacted me about adopting a child from Ukraine. Ginger is of Ukrainian descent, and in 2005 they hosted a Ukrainian child who came to the United States to attend school. They are a wonderful couple that experienced the sad loss of a child in a car accident.

This book is for families that want to build to their family through adoption, but may not be able to afford the high costs of a traditional adoption. Every family deserves a child and every child deserves a family. This book explains the trials, tribulations, enjoyment and love the Carlisle family, and many others, has encountered along the way…in search of a family.

Cathy Harris

Founder, Ukrainian Angels

Table of Contents

Introduction

The book you are about to read is not just an adoption story; it is an experience the Carlisle family shares with you. Unlike many other adoption guides, the real value of this book lies in it’s unique emotional recount — in addition to the actual adoption process in Ukraine and

its peculiarities.

This book is meant for everyone, whether or not you are interested or currently involved in the adoption process. Specifically, it will be useful and educational for any family contemplating adoption from Ukraine. It can also be liberating and thought provoking for anyone who can remove their mind from the technical aspect of the adoption process and think of the scourge of humanity that children without families must endure.

As a Russian adoption facilitator who was born, raised, and living in Ukraine, I have been involved with the adoption industry since 1999, and have worked with about 200 families. I have been working with American adoptive families since age 18. During that time, I witnessed situations that caused diverse and often intense emotions and feelings in each family through the process.

Any adoption — especially an international one — is not easy. It can be difficult, regardless if the process has no delays or substantial additional expenses. Any adoption requires a profound emotional, moral, informational, and financial preparation. Being adequately ready has always been groundwork for adoption success. In some respects, it can be compared to giving birth to your own child. In both instances, there can be discomforts and hardships, and each situation requires a