Wistful Longing

By L. D. Gilles

Lilly’s life goal slowly and surely started gaining contours, shaping itself into her long awaited dream. Before she even had a chance to smile at it and feel a spur of satisfaction and happiness, it was ripped brutally and unexpectedly away from her by one person that should help her achieve it.
Her experience, expertise and knowledge, sheer will to prove herself and dedication to nothing but excellence made her an acknowledged and top expert in her predominantly male ruled professional field. And she vowed revenge. Vowed to prove herself to be right.
And in order to do that she had to disappear...
Erik was not used to people being five steps ahead of him. He was usually ten steps ahead of everyone else. Not anymore.
He hired her as his perfect assistant. Personal assistant. She confounded him every step of the way. Beautiful, attractive, smart, sexy. The only thing he should notice out of all of that was smart, because craving Lilly as his lover was out of the question. He valued her much more as his assistant than his lover. Lovers were dime a dozen, Lilly was one of a kind. Unique.
He didn't want to, but he wanted her. More than anything or anyone else even though he despised her life choices and morals. Besides confounding him, outsmarting him and always being five steps ahead of him, her word also had to be the last one. Naturally leading to every conversation, better say clash with her costing him a lot of energy and nerves, not to mention leaving him with raging hormones...
And that just drove Erik out of his mind crazy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: L. D. Gilles
• Release date: Jun 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311417671

L. D. Gilles

An avid reader, classics and romance are my favorite but if my curiosity is tickled I will read and reread anything that captures my interest. Besides reading, I love music, shows, cooking and road trips among other things. I enjoy a good glass of wine with a meal, good conversation and a great company. Adventurous daring spirit and explorative nature in me love to travel and I usually pick a spur of a moment destination and go conquer it. Reading so many interesting novels inspired me to give it a try and write my own fictional tales. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them. For comments, suggestions, questions or anything else... [e-mail]

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Wistful Longing

L.D. Gilles

Copyright 2015 L.D. Gilles

Smashwords Edition

ISBN 9781311417671

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, incidents, events and dialogue described in this novel are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Smashwords Edition

License Notes

Thank you for downloading this eBook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer.

Thank you for your support.

Those who say that

only sunshine brings happiness

Have never danced in the rain...

Contents

Chapter 01

Chapter 02

Chapter 03

Chapter 04

Chapter 05

Chapter 06

Chapter 07

Chapter 08

Chapter 09

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Epilogue

About L.D. Gilles

One

***

Excellent! George Chatsford removed his glasses. She saw disbelief in his eyes when he looked at her questioningly and then an amused smile played on his face.

Excellent! he repeated while at the same time waiving signed contract, You did really great! To be honest, I didn't expect this. I didn't expect this great of a success.

Something akin to an apology crossed over his bony wrinkled face for the briefest moment while he perused over fine print of pages with pleasure. So... Chicago is happy. I am very pleased.

Thank you Sir Lilly bowed her head to him smiling, But you shouldn’t be surprised, it’s simply impossible to not learn the skill with a tutor as yourself. You are the best, you know that.

All right... all right... we’ll talk later the old man said somewhat embarrassingly when his only daughter paid him a compliment and softly kissed him on the wrinkled cheek.

Can you please send in Nichols from planning so we can finish off something.

Ok... I’ll see you at home for dinner tonight then she answered as she left his office and quietly closed the door behind herself.

She looked and acted calmly and peacefully as always, but inside she was trembling from joy, pleasure and happiness.

Ever since yesterday’s meeting with the representatives of the other company in Chicago, she looked forward to seeing her father and presenting him with the job well done. That satisfied and admired look on her father’s face and that verbal acknowledgement and praise she heard in his voice filled her with the deepest sense of pride.

No one will be able to say now that her success in ‘Chatsford Build’ was quick and fast just because she was George Chatsford’s daughter.

Funny, but no one thought that her father would be her biggest and strongest worry and obstacle. He was the one that always had some kind of remark, at the best concluded business or jobs she finalized he would always find some kind of oversight or omission. Because of him she forced herself to become a top expert in this field, to excel. And now he had no choice but to admit that too.

Lilly inhaled deeply.

Having her father admit that was more than necessary to her.

Realizing that no one would understand her plans, her expectations and her dreams, she never told them to anyone. After all they were considerable and somewhat realistic.

Over the last twelve months her father mentioned more a few times about him slowing down and leaving the business. As the only child of George Chatsford, she expected her father to leave the company completely to her when he retires. So, her expectations were considerable, but not without basis.

Every interest she had was directed towards building and construction, so much so that even intense curriculum for civil engineering at Harvard was a breeze for her. It was her passion.

After five years and a Master’s degree, Lilly joined her father’s company not part time or occasionally as she had before because of her studies, but full time and without reserve. She threw herself into work with a passion and enthusiasm, not paying attention to much else because Chatsford needed to be convinced that she is capable, excellent and committed to work, almost as good as he was himself.

That was part of the reason why after six years of full-time hard work, Lilly Chatsford was an acknowledged expert in civil engineering and construction field. She gained experience and confidence, did not shy away from the most complicated and responsible tasks.

And her father eased a little too. Lately, the work she had done was extraordinary.

He was still cautious, but he didn't doubt her expertise and capabilities to get the job done. She could tell by the more delicate work he trusted her with.

She could breathe easier. Her life’s dreams, plans and expectations are slowly becoming reality; the future is slowly gaining contours...

***

Lilly shuddered.

She was freezing.

Absentmindedly her hand went over her wet shoes and jeans. Everything else on her was damp as well. Strands of her wavy long black hair were plastered to her face.

Who knows for how long she had been sitting there, on top of the cliff overlooking the angry ocean, unmoving.

With her chin placed on top of her knees that she firmly gripped with her arms, for hours she was enduring gusts of wind that, not unusual for the end of March raged and raged, turning ocean into foam and mist, carrying it over and plastering it all over her lips, eyelashes, hair... all over her.

Lilly stood up stretching her tense body, trying to collect her tangled dark tresses into some kind of submission. Angry wind had different kind of intent and she gave up on her idea of taming it. Her blue eyes gazed over the sandy vastness were fury of Atlantic was meeting it.

Total drabness... greyness...

Grey clouds, grey sky, grey water, grey stone, as far as the eye can reach; kingdom of nature and her elemental forces, nothing more. Not a live soul in sight.

Exactly what she needed.

Wasteland.

Wilderness.

It seemed that only an isolation from every form of life, sound of anyone’s voice, from foreign step, could offer her complete peacefulness.

It seemed like only the intense rage of wind and ocean could calm the chaos that was raging inside her.

Who knows how many times, over and over again she was going through that scene in her father’s office.

About a month ago, while two of them were doing everyday routine work, he nonchalantly threw at her I have decided to name Steve as a new CEO of the company.

In a complete silence that was formed from that declaration, she could hear her father casually underlining some items in a report in front of him.

Lilly was wondering if she heard him correctly.

Thanks to her self-control she managed not to drop the folder she was holding, but her fingers turned white from gripping it so hard. Trying to regain her composure she inhaled deeply.

You got nothing to say he mumbled to her.

What do you want me to say? she said I was under the impression that you were satisfied and happy with the work I did... At least that’s what you said.

I am satisfied and happy with your work. That is what I am saying now too.

So then... why? she questioned him faintly.

Why what? he didn't even look at her. Lilly closed her eyes.

Why are you eliminating me?

For the first time George Chatsford directed his blue eyes, so like his daughters, at her.

What are you talking about girl?

Lilly was desperately trying not to raise her voice.

Steve, Chief Executive Officer. And what am I. A side kick?

You will do exactly as you did so far. You will help Steve as you helped me her father said nonchalantly.

She was flabbergasted.

Listen dad her voice turned dangerously quiet. You, I wanted and I could help. Steve – no way. That is never going to happen!

What do you mean ‘No’? When you get married it is only normal for you to help your husband.

No one is going to get married here! she jumped, her hackles raised high.

And why should I help him? How about he helps me? Is he more educated than I am? No, he isn’t! I was the best one in my class! Is he more capable or accomplished than I am? No, he isn’t even that! The work I accomplished in the last year, you think he could have done better? And it is a well known fact that I am the one that is better accepted from our business partners. And... And?! By which logical sense should I play a secretary to Steve Carson? she was shaking now.

After all, he is a Carson, and I am a Chatsford! Your only child, to remind you. It is a big factor, but I am placing it last! she stopped to inhale.

You know that I have dedicated myself to this company since I was fifteen years old. I studied, learned and gained experience like a maniac. Nothing else interested me! And I became a top expert in this field. Can you deny that dad? she asked. She glared at him, while she visibly shook with disappointment and rage.

It’s true... It is true everything you said the older man was fidgeting now, unused to critique from his dedicated daughter, But... you are a woman!

Oh you gotta be kidding me! she shrilled, A woman! Yes, I am a woman! So what? That affected my work negatively? Did it?

Nah... No her father stood up from his chair now too, But when you get married, there’s a husband, a home, then kids... work will never come first! That is inevitable! It is much better that I place a man as a CEO of the company.

Lilly paused.

She could not believe that her father was such a chauvinist. This was the twenty first century they lived in after all.

You should never have to worry about that. You know that yourself. Work will always be important to me. Because... she stopped here raising her hand to stop him from interrupting her ...even if I do get married and have kids work will not suffer and neither will family. Arrangements can be made, especially if a person has money!

It is possible that Steve might not be keen on that idea... her father said and she rolled her eyes As far as I know he wants a wife at home, and not...

My God! Why are you so hung on that idea? I never had the slightest intention of marrying Steve! she interrupted him, disgusted with a picture he painted of what he believed her future should be like.

But he said...

No, you listen to what I am saying! she interrupted him pointing a hand at her chest And those like Steve Carson, who think and believe that a woman’s place is at home, for sure will never come into a possibility to think of a marriage with me!

Her father confusingly shook his graying head.

You, my daughter are still young he said patiently, as if he was talking to a small child while Lilly rolled her eyes again. Things are not as simple as you are portraying them. In a few years, I am sure you will completely agree with me.

Lilly was staring at the line in the dark hardwood floor.

She had no more energy for convincing.

The last trace of vehemence left her with anger and she felt empty all of a sudden. She rubbed her forehead and blankly looked at her father.

He made a decision.

And when George Chatsford makes a decision nothing will change his mind, she knew that very well.

So... Steve Carson... she mumbled more to herself.

Yes he said exhaling I think that is the best solution for all of us he finished.

For all of you! Lilly accented.

I was thinking of you too he said and looked at her.

Thank you she said bitterly In your own way I do believe that you did. I want you to know that you made a huge mistake. Yes, you did.

She silenced him decisively.

Your choice is a total mistake. And I will do everything in my power to make you understand and see that. That is for sure!

She turned and left his office slamming the door behind.

***

That was when she took off from Providence and left for Cape Cod into isolation, escaped the company, her father, Steve... her destroyed dreams.

For days she walked up and down the sandy beaches, sunk into desperation and then swam towards the surface, analyzing her life, looking for mistakes she made, mistakes others made, collecting shattered pieces of her future.

She couldn't find peace, she couldn't sleep or eat, was immune to cold and tiredness. No plans, no desires and no will, she was exhausting herself, not realising that she was turning into skin and bones. In a mere month she managed to not look like herself.

Looking like that, no one would even recognize her. She didn't want to see anyone. Or hear from anyone. The only person she called and told where she was and what had happened was her uncle Luke. After her mom passed away, he was the only person that understood her.

She jumped of off a cliff into a wet sand. She was a long way from home and it was getting dark already. Tired and exhausted, she moved slowly down the beach while pieces of seaweed dragged after her, catching onto her shoes.

She made it through the door and went straight for the bathroom. When she sunk into a hot bath and stopped shivering she realized how cold she was. Nice and relaxed she didn't want to move when she heard the shrill of a phone.

She ignored it.

And then realized that only uncle Luke had her new number and no one else.

The phone stopped ringing and started again in ten seconds. That is how long it took Lilly to get out of a hot tub, find a towel and wrap it around herself and trot to find her cell phone.

Hello she answered.

Lilly, sweetie, did I wake you up? her uncles chipper voice sounded from the other end.

You almost did she chuckled I was napping in a bathtub.

Napping in a bathtub?! he sounded shocked. Damn it kiddo, what is wrong with you? Do you want to drown? Is that it?

Lilly smiled.

Good, old uncle Luke. He always worried about her.

And he wasn't that old she reminded herself. He was forty nine and looked like he was thirty nine. He was ten years younger than her mother and Lilly’s rock when she died, when Lilly was only twelve.

I am joking she smiled again I just wanted to get you going. You are so cute when you try to act stern.

You brat! he responded You like to push my buttons. Just wait till I get you!

So come on over, you know where I am and that I am alone she said. She wasn't keen on company, but she would love to see her uncle Luke.

Ah, I would be there right away if I could, but I don't have a moment of spare time right now. Listen... he stopped for a second, Have you ever heard of ‘Goldberg Engineering’?

Goldberg Engineering? she mumbled, A company from Boston? The one that is close to your office?

Yes, yes! her uncle exclaimed, So you heard of them then?

Not that I just heard of them, I think I memorized them for eternity! Remember that hotel complex by Cornwell Lake? They literally snatched it from under our noses last year.

Aha! All I remember is that old Chatsford was grouchy for months over it... do you know who is in charge there? he asked her.

I have no clue. We were negotiating with representatives.

That is what I thought. The owner and president is Erik Goldberg, junior of course. Old William retired four years ago and left everything to his son. And he did well. The boy is very capable and...

But, uncle Luke... she was losing her patience now.

"Luke, my dear, just Luke. You make me feel really old when you say that uncle" he reiterated. Again. Lilly smiled.

But why are you advertising this Mr. Solberg...

It’s not Solberg, but Goldberg! Remember! he interrupted her.

So why are you advertising him to me?

Because I thought he might interest you.

Why would I have any interest in this Soldern?

It is Goldberg, Lilly, Goldberg! Remember that!

Oh hell, whether I want to or not! she exhaled. So why would I be interested in this... this Goldern?

Goldberg! her uncle Luke screamed into a phone and Lilly had to move her phone away from her ear while she smiled.

God, it was a good thing he called her, he always made her laugh.

And you will see that he will interest you if you would just shut up for a moment and let me tell you what I intended!

Sorry uncle... Lilly just said apologetically and then heard her uncle groan on the other end of the line.

So, the company is a huge competition to your fathers, right. Don’t forget that. Goldberg is one of the most capable and ruthless men in this business that I know of and there is a bright future ahead of him. You understand that too, right?

Yes Sir! she almost saluted him but caught herself in the last moment and then realized that she is standing in a puddle of water, wrapped in a towel.

And his Personal Assistant is leaving soon. She is getting married.

Lilly almost started laughing hysterically. Irony, she thought.

And now Goldberg is looking for her replacement. You get it?

I am sorry uncle Luke she was mumbling apologetically, but...

You don't get it! Listen girl. Right now you are doing absolutely nothing and...

Wait, wait, wait, wait... waaait a second! she interrupted him. You don't think that I should...

That is exactly what I think you should, Lilly girl! he fired it at her.

Uncle Luke! I left my...

I know, I know, my girl he interrupted her, You left your fathers company because you didn't want to be an assistant to someone else. I know that. And you are aware that they did not appreciate you there. But with Goldberg, my girl, with all that knowledge, experience and abilities, you can prove yourself very quickly. He doesn't see the world as male and female.

You think so? Lilly asked thoughtfully.

I know so. And it would be best not to use Chatsford as you last name. Also, don't mention me, the Goldberg’s know me very well. You got that?

She mumbled something back to him while she was starring at the line on the floor.

Her towel came off and she could care less.

The pieces of the puzzle were moving inside her head while her face had that distinguished expression of intense concentration.

From a month long lethargy, sharp and energetic Lilly Chatsford was coming back.

Two

***

Too late for it now, but she should have taken a cab.

It was pouring outside.

Windshield wipers were barely removing water that was heavily coming down and she was stuck in the middle lane of the morning rush hour traffic, moving at almost twenty miles an hour.

And traffic lights!

It seemed like they were never-ending and not turning green at all!

She was nervously tapping fingers on the steering wheel of her Lincoln MKX. She left an hour early, so she hoped she wouldn’t be late.

Exactly a week ago she wrote an exam at ‘Goldberg Engineering’ alongside about a dozen and a half nervous and jittery girls. In that moment she realized how big of a deal it was to become a Personal Assistant to Mr. Goldberg Junior.

While the older lady was explaining rules and scores of the exam, the young girls were daydreaming and sighting wistfully like it was a PA position for Brad Pitt, George Clooney or Hugh Jackman.

And the questions?! Dear Lord!

It was like they were put together to test the knowledge of a half a dozen engineers’ with a dozen years of harsh experience under their belt; not to get a hastily trained secretary. Lilly was pretty sure that most girls had no clue what any of those questions even meant, yet alone how to properly answer them.

What the hell does this man think?

That he is hiring a CEO?

The fact that she answered all the questions without any problem or effort meant absolutely nothing. She was not a secretary after all.

Three days later, she got a phone call from Mrs. Wayne in HR, notifying her that she was scheduled for an oral part of the interview on Monday. And look at this downpour now! Like hell she will make it on time.

And while she was sitting under one of a thousand and one traffic lights, tapping her fingers nervously and biting her lower lip, a devastating truth hit her suddenly – Lilly Chatsford, a heiress to ‘Chatsford Build’, top expert in her field and a well known, accomplished and acknowledged engineer, is fretting and scared of a horrible possibility that some conceited Mister Junior will not name her as his assistant. Personal Assistant!

Funny... and sad at the same time. Absurd, pointless and above all humiliating!

She smiled bitterly, shaking her head. She can thank her father and her ex-boyfriend for that.

God!

Are all men hopelessly limited chauvinists?

She felt like she will swear off of men.

And why not when they are trying to ruin her life.

No they will not! she muttered through clenched teeth.

"No one, but no one will ever tell me how to live my life and order me what to do! I don't care who