Shell Out

By Jeremy Bursey

Money can buy the world and sell the soul. But can it also buy happiness?

What is the price of making dreams come true? Can they be bought with money, or do they require something worse?

After spending his childhood living in poverty, Greg decides he’s ready for the American Dream: he’ll furnish his apartment with lavish items, find the perfect girl to share it with, and become a bigger success than his father has ever been. With the right plan, he can make it all happen.

But as Greg enters college, he discovers that life’s nurturing tentacles don’t care about his plans, or his dreams. It just wants his money, all of it, and it will stop at nothing to take everything he owns, even his underwear, if it can help it.

Can Greg survive this financial onslaught? Or will life fry his piggy bank into bacon?

"Shell Out" is the humorous story of a college student’s battle with those pesky opposing forces that plague us all: life and desire, ambition and contentment, dreams and reality. It’s the story of anyone who’s ever had to fend for himself in the real world but wasn’t sure if he’d ever make it. Greg’s farcical journey to tame his wallet and fulfill his dreams drags him through the common struggles of young adulthood, like figuring out how to survive a Friday night on a ten-dollar bill, taking jobs that only desperate loons would take, and working toward a better life to win the heart of a girl.

The question is, are his efforts worth it, or is he just chasing yesterday’s American Dream?

For those thirty and older who wish to remember their own crazy experiences as a twentysomething, Greg’s strange odyssey of economic survival is a comedy. For those currently living the twentysomething life, or are about to approach it, Greg’s journey is a horror story.

"Shell Out" is a lot like adulthood: a scary comedy that forces us to question our life’s ambitions.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jeremy Bursey
• Release date: May 29, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311264060

Jeremy Bursey

Jeremy Bursey is the author of many short stories, essays, and poems, along with a modest number of novels and screenplays, each covering topics and genres that differ from what he had written previously. He hopes to bring many of these into the ebook generation over the course of the next few years. He holds a bachelor’s degree in English from the University of Central Florida and currently works at a local college as a writing tutor. He appreciates feedback for anything he offers to the public.

Book preview

Shell Out

a short story

Jeremy Bursey

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Jeremy Bursey

Copyright © 2015 by Jeremy Bursey

All rights reserved.

jeremybursey.com

E-book edition: 1.2b

License Notes

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Some real-life cities, towns, institutions, or products may appear to lend authenticity to a scene for literary purposes, but this work does not intend to endorse or malign them. There is no catharsis or advertisement happening here. All other trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.

No part of this text may be reproduced in any other work without giving credit to the author. No part of this text may be used for commercial purposes, except by reviewers or critics under fair use rules, without the author’s permission. The complete text is intended for personal use only and may not be used for commercial purposes, or duplicated in any other form for purposes other than personal, noncommercial use, or posted to any other site without the author’s permission.

Identifiers

ASIN: B019SUGOQG | ISBN: 9781311264060 | GGKEY: LEGBGCY0FYL

Cover Design

Layout: Jeremy Bursey | Background Image: AI generated by SUPERMACHINE (using the Stable Diffusion engine)

Contents

1. Every Boy’s Dream

2. Stolen Pen, or The Bourne Reality

3. Psychic Friends Hotline

4. Like Most Kids

5. Traffic Ticket

6. eBay, or Desperate Measures

7. To Love a Gold-digger

8. The Nice Guy

And now for a quick message from the author

Author’s Note

Stay in Touch

Share Your Ideas

E-book Version

About the Cover Image

About the Author

Chapter one

Every Boy’s Dream

A year after high school, when his father had told him he could go to college, Greg nearly flipped out. He had spent most of his childhood believing he was doomed to follow in his father’s burdened footsteps, working one odd job after another until extreme back pain landed him in the hospital or a coworker accidentally dropped a brick on his head. So the news that he could take a different path was an early birthday present. According to his former teachers, college would lead to good jobs that paid for better houses, two things that his father never had.

But when his father explained that he would have to find his own means to pay for it, Greg’s heart sank. Loans were expensive, scholarships went to the smart kids, and living on the street sounded much worse than living in the trailer he called home now.

Just get a side job, his father said. Hard work makes the man and the money. I would’ve done it myself had I any sense when I was your age. Hippie life, you know?

Greg’s vision blurred. He saw the light coming in through the windows, but everything it touched turned to haze.

When will I have time to study?

Ask one of the other millions of kids who have to work their way through college.

Greg frowned. He didn’t understand why anyone would want to work and go to college when doing both would leave hardly any free time for himself. The whole point in attending college was to create a life he enjoyed. Why sacrifice fun for work when it would just lead to more work? It sounded stupid to him. He shared his thoughts with his father.

It’s just how the world works, Greg, his father said. If you want a better life than what I’ve given you, then you need to make the money. Don’t you remember what your third grade teacher once told you?

He remembered. The richest moms are the happiest moms. For those of you with poor moms, please tell her to call me when Daddy’s not home.

Yeah, I didn’t understand him at the time, he said. Now I do.

Greg’s father put his hand on his shoulder.

And thank you for not taking his advice. But never forget his subtext. If you want the happier life, you’ll have to earn it. I can’t give that to you.

Greg nodded. He’d