Hey God, Maybe it's Your Plan, but I Don't Want to Die

By Ira Jacques

This is the diary of Greg Holcomb-Jacques, a teenage boy who was diagnosed with DIPG, a form of terminal brain cancer. It is published by his family who wants to share his story with the world. Greg weaves between haunting and uplifting in his diary entries; his spirit is strong and he chooses to live his life on his own terms. Through it all, Greg is the archetypal teen, going through all of the same problems as his friends, only his clock is counting down much faster than theirs. The book takes Greg's words verbatim, and therefore it contains strong language from time to time. The adult content consists of nothing more than Greg's periodic expletive outbursts. This book was originally published for for Amazon Kindle in 2012, but is now freely available via Smashwords.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ira Jacques
• Release date: Feb 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311868978

Ira Jacques

How does one consolidate their life into one short blurb and do it justice? I'm a guy on the nerdy side of the spectrum. You remember the movie Revenge of the Nerds? If Buzzfeed ever gets around to determining the nerd I'd most be like, I have no doubt I'd end up as Gilbert, the one played by Anthony Edwards. Incidentally, Gilbert and Lewis were best friends in the movie, and Gilbert Lewis was one of my idols in chemistry as a high schooler. But I digress. I am a mechanic. Why? Because I enjoy the work. I'm not some Ayn Rand Atlas Shrugged-esque engineer on strike. I actually do a good bit of design and engineering work in my shop. But that's to modify cars and trucks. I do live in Southern California, after all. I started writing after my stepson's death in 2010. This first book, "Hey God, Maybe it's Your Plan, but I Don't Want to Die" is written by my stepson, Greg Holcomb-Jacques, but it was published posthumously by me. It was originally published for Kindle in 2012, but I have decided to make a free version on multiple platforms now via Smashwords just to have the story told. Thank you for reading. Ira

Book preview

Hey God, Maybe it’s Your Plan, But I Don’t Want to Die

Greg Holcomb-Jacques

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 Greg Holcomb-Jacques

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of Ira Jacques except where permitted by law. The copyright is filed in the late Greg Holcomb-Jacques’ name but belongs to Ira Jacques.

ISBN-13: 978-1311868978

DEDICATION

Nathan Hale was quoted as saying, I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country right before he was hanged by the British. Hale was an American hero. You were my hero, and I’m willing to bet that your last words were no less dauntless. I chose to publish your diary as a means of preserving your history. Though the text of the book is written in your own words, the actual book is dedicated to the memory of you, Greg. Your family and friends will love you forever.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword

July 29th, 2009

July 31st

August 3rd

August 4th

August 5th

August 8th

August 9th

August 12th

September 10th

September 22nd

September 29th

November 8th

November 26th

January 1st

February 11th

February 12th

February 19th

February 20th

February 24th

February 28th

March 4th

Epilogue by Ira Jacques

Foreword by Ira Jacques

All of the dated text is taken verbatim from Greg Holcomb-Jacques’ personal electronic diary word processor file which he kept on our family computer. Jennifer and I originally thought it best to bury the file with our son, but after reading through it so many times, we decided to share it with our family and Greg’s close friends. They encouraged us to publish. Some said we should sell it and donate the proceeds to DIPG research while others said we should just give it away for free, and in the end, that’s what we decided to do. This e-book is free. Thank you for reading our son’s story, and please share it.

Ira Jacques

July 29th

What’s funny is that not even a month ago, I had just finished watching the first season of the AMC series Breaking Bad with Freddy and Heath, and we joked about how we’d learn what it takes to make a mobile meth lab, pool our money, and buy ourselves an RV and become outlaw drug chefs so that we could have college and travel money. Yeah, it’s funny, because, well, today’s the day that my own results came in and were disclosed to me. The results that say I have some nasties attacking a really important part of my brain. Mom broke down like she always does and started asking Dr. Vargo all these questions about a thousand miles a minute, while Dad… he just sat there. He didn’t say anything at all. And me, well, I just tried to act like I was brave, even though, truth be told, I was scared shitless.

The ride home from the hospital didn’t get any better, either. I mean, my dad (well, stepdad) STILL didn’t say anything, and Mom kept trying to cheer me up with some horseshit rah-rah-rah we’ll-get-through-this-no-matter-what pep speech. Finally, we got home and I had a chance to be alone with my thoughts, and that’s why I’m here. I figure, if I’m going to die, I might as well start documenting some things. Like first off, I’m still a virgin.

Isn’t that crazy? That’s the first thought that popped into my head the moment I learned that I was dying. I thought, "hey, this is fucked up, man. I am a pretty handsome guy. In fact, Carrie (that’s my ex girlfriend from last year) said she’d be willing to do it if I really wanted to, but I thought that I wanted