Straight To Heaven

By Michelle Scott

Mother, teacher, wanton she-demon

Welcome to my life. I’m Lilith Straight, Hell’s newest employee. Although I’m getting pretty good at letting the succubus inside me take over, life in Hell is never easy. Miss Spry is up to her old tricks. She promised to let me save my daughter from my fate, but only if I can tempt my next client.

That’s how I end up horns-to-halo with a guardian angel determined to rescue my next victim. To make matters worse, William Benedict, the hottest demon in Hell, is trying to undermine my mission with some temptations of his own…

Nothing is ever what you expect in Hell, but really I should have known that already!

Praise for Michelle Scott

'I would definitely recommend Straight to Hell to anyone who’s looking for a relatively quick read – something fast paced, something funny with a bit of a twist and some paranormal elements.' - Books, Biscuits and Tea on Straight to Hell

'There were so many twists in the plot that I didn't see coming, that the novel definitely kept me on my toes, and it kept moving at such a pace that there wasn't a single point in the book where I was bored in the slightest.' - Pen to Paper on Straight to Hell

'one of those books that you want to spend some time thinking about after you are done reading, you want to think about what you would have done in Lilith's shoes, and let me tell you she has so seriously difficult to walk in. This is one of those books where you want to get together with a couple of your girlfriends afterward and talk about the book at length.' - Urban Fantasy Reviews on Straight to Hell

'loved the humor in this book and actually caught myself laughing out loud a few times while getting strange looks from my family.' - Shut Up & Read on Straight to Heaven

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins UK
• Release date: Jun 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781472097125

Michelle Scott

Maybe it’s because of my Halloween birthday, but I’ve always been attracted to scary stories. On the other hand, I love romances as well. Once I discovered that these two genres existed side-by-side in urban fantasy novels, I was in heaven! Urban fantasy is like chocolate and peanut butter: a perfect, to-die-for combination that I can never get enough of.

Book preview

Chapter One

Worried, I glanced at my watch again. I’d been waiting for twenty minutes under the broiling July sun, and still there was no sign of my client. Ordinarily, my assignments were perfectly timed because being a temptress meant that I had to reach my victim when he was most vulnerable to temptation. The tipping point, as it were. But this morning, something was off.

Where was he?! The post office parking lot held a few cars, and several people had gone in and out of the building, but my inner demon told me that none of these were my victim. Had I gotten the time wrong? Maybe I’d missed the entire event! I started nibbling my cuticle before deciding it wasn’t worth ruining a sixty-dollar manicure.

As more time ticked by, my anxiety increased. In the past six months, I had gone from a bungling failure to a highly effective succubus. In fact, I’d had thirty-five successful temptations in a row, an accomplishment that even Miss Spry, my demon overlord, had applauded. It wasn’t that I was on board with the whole tempting people to do wrong thing. No, I’d finally come to understand that it made my life much simpler to follow my destiny, rather than fight it. Rebellion only ended in heartache.

Plus, I didn’t want to wreck my winning streak.

I looked at my watch again and muttered a curse. Even though it was only nine-thirty in the morning, the humidity was so high that I’d perspired through my silk tank top. I wore my auburn hair up in a sloppy bun, but a few loose strands were glued to my sweaty neck. Heat from the sidewalk burned through the thin soles of my sandals.

Michigan, in summer, bears an uncanny resemblance to Hell.

Not only was it hot out under the blistering sun, this was also not the best part of town. It was a local job for once, but one on the wrong side of the tracks. The post office itself was okay, a fairly modern structure untagged by graffiti, but across the street was a seedy strip mall with a liquor store, a boarded-up nail salon, and a check-cashing place. All of the businesses had bars over the windows and inch-thick bullet-proof glass between the customers and the owners.

During my wait, I’d watched two men piss in the dying bushes, had six or so vagrants hit me up for spare change, and witnessed what had to be a drug deal. When three teenagers in jeans so baggy that the crotches hung below their knees swaggered by, I realized how vulnerable I was. Unfortunately, the closest otherworld doorway was across the street, which was too far to run if things got dangerous. True, my demon could get scary when I was angry, but I wasn’t Super Woman. I couldn’t do anything like stop bullets with my bare hands, or fly, or shoot lasers from my eyes. If those teens ganged up on me, or if someone pulled a gun, I’d be in trouble. Despite the demon living inside of me, I was human, and I could get injured. Even die. And if I did die, my sweet daughter – the one who slept with a stuffed dog named Crumbles and still believed in Santa Claus – would automatically go into the family succubus business.

Screw the manicure, I thought, and began nibbling my cuticle.

Ten more minutes went by. Maybe this was Miss Spry’s mistake, I thought. Or perhaps the client had a change of heart en route and had decided not to show up. I wondered if either of these things would count against me.

After another few minutes, I decided it was useless. The man wasn’t coming. But as I walked away, I noticed that my client had arrived after all. In fact, when he got out of his pickup, I realized that he’d been there the entire time. He simply had been sitting in the cab of his truck, waiting. Good! I rubbed my hands together, ready to add another mark to my tally of successful temptations.

From the looks of things, my victim wasn’t from this part of the city. In fact, I didn’t think he was from anywhere nearby. The plastic frame surrounding his license plate read Orland Chevrolet, Orland being a small town about thirty miles north. The truck even had a rebel flag sticker in the rear window, something no urban Detroiter would have ever displayed. Finally, there were about a dozen bales of straw in the bed of his pickup. It was like he’d made an epic wrong turn and ended up in southeast Detroit instead of the farm where he belonged.

I mulled over this information, letting my inner demon make of it what she would. My succubus was kind of like computer software that ran in the background until it was needed. Then she came to the forefront, ready to give advice and lend a hand. In her opinion, it made perfect sense that my client had driven far from home to commit his debauchery. After all, most people don’t like to sin where they live. Yet, we both agreed that the post office was a strange place to pick. Especially since there were three different nudie bars within half a mile. If he was going to be naughty, you would have thought that strippers would beat out USPS workers. But to each his own. It wasn’t my job to judge, just to tempt.

When my client left the truck and walked into the post office, I quickly followed him into the blessed cool of the air-conditioned building. The man wore a Detroit Tigers baseball cap pulled low over his forehead and a clean, white T-shirt. He looked to be in his early thirties, close to my age. Beneath the brim of his cap were a pair of flinty, gray eyes, and his chin was covered in stubble. In one hand, he clutched a box about the size of a ream of paper. He looked nervous enough to jump out of his own skin, but he grudgingly held the door open for an elderly woman who was using a walker.

My assignment was to convince my client to mail his package. It sounded innocent, but I wasn’t fooled. If this was Miss Spry’s business, then there was nothing innocent about it. Although I couldn’t understand why an act as simple as encouraging one man to buy a lacy camisole, or talking another into signing a political petition, should make any difference to the Devil, it always did.

My client dithered by the Ship-It-Yourself machine. There was something in that package making him nervous. Although I tried not to wonder what was inside the brown cardboard box, I couldn’t help but be curious. Did it hold explosives? Contraband drugs? Kiddie porn? True, I’d resigned myself to being a succubus, but that didn’t spare me from feeling twinges of guilt whenever I worked a job. Miss Spry always insisted that I know as little as possible about my jobs, and now I understood why. My work was easier if I could plead ignorance to my conscience.

Instead of dwelling on what might be in my client’s box, I planned my strategy for tempting him. My succubus advised me to use the direct approach, so I smiled playfully as I walked up to him. I put my hand on the Ship-It-Yourself machine like I was a store employee trying to make a sale. This is really easy to use. You put your package there and follow the directions on the computer screen.

He muttered thanks but didn’t make a move to do it.

Would you like me to help you?

His eyebrows shot up. No. I got it.

Okay, he was going to be difficult. Unfortunately, this job wasn’t about sticking a few stamps on a box and sending it off. If it had been, I would have grabbed the thing out of his hands and done it myself. No, this was about making my victim want to mail the package. That was much, much harder.

My devilish instincts told me that if I didn’t get to this guy within the next few seconds, he’d leave the post office altogether. It was time to quit fooling around and go into full glamour mode. I let my inner demon take over, radiating that irresistible charm that we succubi are famous for.

I gave him a killer smile. If this is an urgent package, you could opt for the ‘overnight’ delivery. It costs a little more, but it’s worth it. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the sexiest thing for me to say, but in the mouth of my demon, those words were like an invitation to an orgy of supermodels. Trust me. Once I was almost seduced by an incubus, and I know how it is.

My client’s steely eyes softened, but he still clutched his package against his stomach. Okay, thanks. It isn’t urgent, though.

Is it a present for someone special? I gave a throaty laugh, moved in a little closer, and risked touching his wrist. The ordinary, human me could have never gotten away with something like this, but I was no longer human. I was a seductress. Or maybe it has some important information? Overdue taxes? License plate renewals?

The man still looked ready to flee. If I didn’t find a way past his moral barricades, I’d lose him. Then he shifted the package he held, and I realized that the box had no return address. No wonder he’d driven so far from home to mail it. He wanted to remain anonymous.

My inner demon crowed. Finally, a foothold! This machine takes cash, I told him. If you don’t use a credit card to pay for delivery, no one will ever know it was you. I pressed a finger to my lips and winked conspiratorially.

Instead of agreeing, he backed away from me. Although it was quite chilly in the post office lobby, sweat dampened his T-shirt. Even the brim of his baseball cap had darkened. Never mind, he said. I’ll mail this later.

Damn! The guy looked tough, but he had the moral conviction of a Puritan. Seeing that he was about three steps from the door, I had to act fast. I wasn’t about to break my winning streak because I couldn’t seduce some hayseed.

Desperate, I took another stab. Look at it this way. The payoff for mailing it will be so worth it. Am I right? At this, he slowly nodded. I didn’t have him yet, but I was close. Just think of the reward. I was speaking as softly as a lover. All you have to do is mail that package to make it happen.

I held my breath, hoping I’d finally struck him in the right place. To my delight, he returned to the machine, set the box on the scanner and began using the keypad to enter the shipping information.

Before he could finish the transaction, however, the elderly lady with the walker bumbled back into the lobby. Young man! Young man! I think you left your headlights on.

The sound of her voice broke my spell. My client blinked, and I watched all my hard work fall to pieces. Damn it! As I fumed, the old woman smiled sweetly at me, flashing the most brilliantly blue eyes I’d ever seen.

My client hurried out of the post office, and I followed him to his truck. The angle of the sun made the headlights look like they’d been left on, but on closer inspection, it was clear they weren’t. I guess she was wrong, I said. Your lights aren’t on.

Ignoring me, he unlocked the driver’s side door. Frantically, I ran around to the passenger’s side. If I could get inside the truck and keep talking to him, this might still work. I yanked on the door’s handle, but it was locked. My client started the engine.

Wait! I pounded on the window. Hold on! I cast about for a reason that would make him stay. Can you give me a ride to the bus stop? I asked. My car’s in the shop, and –

His expression was a mixture of fear and disgust. Apparently, I’d gone from a seductress to a crazy, desperate woman. Which, of course, I was. When he pulled the truck out of the parking space, I leapt backwards to keep my foot from being run over. Then, before I could catch up to him, his pickup squealed out of the parking lot.

Damn.

Once I stepped into the otherworld, the strip mall and post office disappeared. Instead, I faced a labyrinth of hallways with doors that led to every conceivable place in the human world. To my surprise, William Benedict, my incubus counterpart, was waiting for me. I hadn’t seen him in weeks, which was perfectly fine by me. He was an arrogant, insufferable cad whose every word was a lie and who had nearly tricked me into giving up my daughter.

Unfortunately, he was also a highly seductive, incredibly charming, and impossibly gorgeous man. He embodied every fantasy I’d ever had. He was well-muscled with a chiseled chin and jaw, yet his pouty lips and dark, slightly-bewildered eyes appealed to my softer side. He managed to be both a bad boy and a sexy nerd. Superman and Clark Kent. Although these contradictions were impossible for a human, William’s demon pulled them off. If I didn’t watch myself closely, I’d be at his mercy.

William had been leaning against the wall, and he stood up straight when he saw me. That didn’t go well, did it?

So he’d witnessed my epic failure. Terrific. He’d never let me live it down. Things were going fine until that old lady got in the way, I said. Curse that interfering woman! It would take another six months to rebuild my record. I resumed nibbling my cuticle.

An old lady? Is that what you saw? William laughed. That, my dear Lilith, was a guardian angel.

Guardian angel?! I replayed the events in my mind, suddenly realizing how easily the old lady with the walker had thwarted my attempts to seduce my client. Her timing had been perfect, and those piercing blue eyes had been supernatural. No one warned me about angels!

They can be a nuisance, especially if they’re assigned to your client. They may work for Heaven, but they know as many dirty tricks as we do.

So they’ve given you trouble before, too? I asked hopefully.

Don’t be ridiculous, he said. I’ve never once let an angel stop me from tempting a client.

I should have guessed. William had a perfect record of seductions; something he loved to brag about. How did you manage it? I asked him.

He gave me a knowing smile. It’s the easiest thing in the world. I seduced them.

I rolled my eyes. This whopper was over the top even for him. Seduce an angel? Yeah, right.

William followed me as I started towards my house. Hell’s hallways were painted institutional gray and laid with industrial carpeting. Fluorescent lights flickered overhead. There were doors and cross hallways everywhere I looked. The sheer scope of the place terrified me, but my demon assured me she could get me safely home before my daughter and niece returned from arts and crafts camp. Sure enough, within a minute, I reached the doorway that led to my bedroom. I went through it, and William followed uninvited.

Do you think Miss Spry will be angry? I asked. My cuticle was bloody, but I couldn’t stop tearing at it. I mean, I did my best to finish the job, and I’ve been doing really well lately. I haven’t lost a single client since January. Now that I was home, the full weight of my failure hit me, and I started to panic. Miss Spry was not a patient or understanding demon. One disastrous temptation might make her steal my daughter again. Suddenly, the walls to my bedroom closed in on me, and there wasn’t enough air to breathe. My vision grayed at the edges.

Seeing my distress, William put his hands on my shoulders. Relax, Lilith, he said. When I continued to shake, he took me in his arms. Deep breaths, he murmured. Slow and deep.

I buried my face in his chest. But what if she takes Grace back to Hell? I said.

Listen. Helen was trying to make a point: that you belong to her in body and soul. She wanted you completely terrified, so that you’d never consider defying her again. He held me a little tighter. I think she got the message across, don’t you?

Boy, had she ever.

Don’t worry, Lil. Now that Helen knows you’ll always do what she says, she’ll be more understanding. Everyone makes mistakes. Besides, a grown woman is more useful to her than a child.

William continued to murmur assurances while I clung to him. He rarely showed his human side, and it was good to see it now. It made being in his arms feel so right. So natural. His true, human self was the part of him I liked best. Unfortunately, it was also the part of him that he liked least, and he hid it whenever he could.

I gave in to temptation a little longer before reluctantly pulling out of his embrace. Then, still feeling wobbly, I sat on the edge of my bed. What mistakes have you made?

He tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow.

"You just said, everyone makes mistakes. What about you? Any epic fails?"

He laughed and shook his head. No.

Not one? I asked.

Not one. His impish smile had returned. Just like that, his demon was back in the driver’s seat. It figured. I have a perfect track record, remember?

You’ve mentioned it once or twice, I said sourly.

William sat next to me on the bed, and when I didn’t move he bounced up and down a little to get my attention. Neutral walls, no-nonsense bedding, not even a romantic fireplace or a TV with dirty movies. This is the un-sexiest bedroom I’ve ever encountered. He winked. It’s like all you do in here is sleep.

I wasn’t sure if he was trying to tease me out of my depression or seduce me. With William, it was never easy to tell. "Sleeping is all I do in here," I said.

Then let’s fix that. He took my hand and began kissing the tip of each finger. I promise that I can make you forget your troubles.

I drew my hand away from his. Too late, I realized that I should have entered through the kitchen. Is that why you were spying on me at the post office? I asked.

Maybe. He reached for me again. You know that I want you, Lilith. Very, very much. His dark eyes held a wanton invitation.

It was hard to resist William’s supernatural allure, especially when he had been so kind and understanding only a few minutes before. For all his arrogance and selfishness, I knew that there was good buried inside his heart, no matter how deep it was or how hard he tried to hide it. Plus, the thought of using sex to make my pain go away had its appeal. Feeling anything, even lust, would be better than the guilt and anxiety that constantly threatened to break through my defenses. Right now, I wanted to put my arms around William’s waist and rub my cheek against the stubble on his chin. I wanted to feel his hands slip under my shirt and beneath my bra.

At the same time, I also wanted a real relationship, something he insisted that we would never have. I moved farther down the bed. You promise to make me forget my problems, but will you also promise to stay with me once the passion’s over?

His expression clouded over. You know better than that. Pleasure, Lil. Pure pleasure. That’s what I can offer you.

As good as that sounded, it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry, I said, but no.

At that moment, I heard the front door open and my daughter and niece come inside. Mom, Grace yelled. Mom!? Are you here?

I stood up. I think you’d better leave.

William looked sulky, but he stood up as well. He cupped my chin in his hand. I’m not giving up on the idea of you and me and that bed. Someday, Lil, you’ll appreciate what I have to offer.

Unless that someday included a genuine commitment, I wasn’t about to let it happen. And since demons weren’t allowed to love, it wasn’t likely that either of us would get what we wanted.

Chapter Two

That afternoon, I lounged poolside while my neighbor, Vickie Ballard, filled me in on the neighborhood gossip. Grace and Ari, my niece, swam in the pool, doing their best to avoid Vickie’s three jet-fueled monsters who were splashing and screaming and generally raising hell.

Vickie had just been telling me about how Debbie Crenshaw from down the street was back in rehab, and how Casey Scarsdale from next door had another new boyfriend, and that Sue Bristol had caught her husband doing a live web chat while he was dressed in her lacy bra and panties.

I’d always been the queen bee of the neighborhood, but while it felt good to hold court with the neighbors again, I was hardly listening to Vickie. Vickie’s gossip was like an overly sweet dessert: tasty at first, but sickening after you’ve had your fill.

Annoyed that I wasn’t lapping up her precious tidbits of scandal and asking for more, Vickie went silent. She looked over the top of her sunglasses, her eyes traveling from the kidney-shaped pool, to the bricked patio and the extravagant landscaping, and then finally resting on the outdoor furniture that Pottery Barn had delivered the previous week. I could almost feel the vibrations from her buzzing brain as she tried to calculate the total cost.

Looks like you’re doing pretty well for yourself, Lilith, Vickie finally said. You must have taken Ted to the cleaners in the divorce.

Obviously, I couldn’t confess that I was working for the Devil. So, instead of telling every bit of the truth, I went for the abridged version. "My insurance

Reviews for Straight To Heaven

[bearmountainbooks · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this second book in the series more than the first mainly because although the darker elements threatened, they didn't really win. Let's just say that Lilith is smarter now and determined to win against the devil herself. Some of the other characters really had a chance to grow in this book. The mystery itself took some very interesting turns. It has the same chick-lit feel, but more important things going on underneath. If you like noir, mysteries with a touch of laughter, you might enjoy this series.