The Beginning Begins: Bardo Trilogy, #2

By May Sinclair PhD

The soul we go to know In the Between didn't go to Heaven.  Too much karma. She accepted reincarnation and selected her new parents. Immediately, as The Beginning Begins, she discovers she’s not alone.  The soul sharing the womb is well known from prior incarnations.  Now named Zoë and Madison, they are able to remember some of their past-lives, are in spiritual contact with the mind aspect of their souls, called Starry and Blaze, and see whatever their mother sees, through her eyes.

Well educated and wealthy, their dad, Isaac/Zak, is an archeologist seeking the scrolls copied-out by Zoë when she was Salome-Alexandra, the Queen of Israel.  He’s also trying to find the Urim and Thummin, those dice she rolled out to tell the future when she was the queen, as well as when she was Duanna, in Uruk (Mesopotamia), living her incarnation as the high-Priestess of Inanna.  Their mother, Jasmina/Jazzie, is a “sensitive” from a long line of women mystics who practice magic. Ultimately Jazzie sees auras, spirits, and ghosts in an effort to help her husband find those long lost items and to protect her unborn children.  

She must, since the man, named Abraham Sharp—previously incarnated as Zoë’s son and in another past-life as Madison’s husband—is a billionaire in this life, using the practical magic of the Hebrew Kabbalah to find those same scrolls and dice.

 Zoë’s resentments towards her twin brother, Madison, who once indirectly caused her to die from an overdose of opium when they lived as sisters in Egypt, and also more directly was the cause of her being burned at the stake during the Spanish Inquisition, are resolved.  But Abraham Sharp’s bitterness has festered for thousands of years and is only now being brought into the open for those old karmic debts to be paid—waiting for the people—souls—to be in the right place at the right time. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: May Sinclair PhD
• Release date: May 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9781513051802

May Sinclair PhD

May Sinclair's doctorate is in the philosophy of Metaphysics. An award-winning and internationally acclaimed author of numerous non-fiction and fiction books, based on symbolism and ancient history, she is currently writing the third book in the metaphysical fantasy trilogy about reincration: Another turn of the Wheel.

Book preview

THIS MUCH IS FACT:

In the Tibetan Book of the Dead there is an explanation of what happens to a soul traversing from one incarnation to the next.  The soul goes into what is called the Bardo, loosely translated as The In Between where the soul travels for seven weeks—forty-nine days—while Buddhist monks chant in an effort to guide the soul on its journey.  The purpose of those chants is an attempt to encourage the soul to accept one of the several Heavens offered to it at various stages along the way.  If that does not happen, or cannot happen due to the need to balance out the positive and negative forces of karma left over from the consequences of actions or inactions in prior lives, the soul at the end of the Bardo is given the choice to accept any one of several couples for parents in its next lifetime.  The soul sees all of those potential parents making love and the sexual magnetic energy is overwhelmingly strong.  Still, the soul is encouraged, per the book and chanting monks, to be cautious not to go into what is called a bad womb.

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As The Beginning Begins, the soul has made it safely through the Bardo—from In The Between. Meaning she has transitioned between one life and the next.

While in the Bardo, the soul, who’s story we got to see unfold, wasn’t offered a place in Heaven, because there were too many positive and negative karmic consequences that must be balanced out from the actions, inactions, and misunderstandings that took place in prior lives.

Right from the start of that journey, between one life and the next, she discovered her soul was far more complex than she previously understood it to be.  A plan was devised to experience several past-lives that were lived in Mesopotamia, Egypt, Greece, Jerusalem, Istanbul, Spain, Brussels, France, England, India, and the United States to find out when and where fear became the undercurrent of all her living experiences.

Accepting reincarnation, she’s chosen her new parents, and is sharing the womb with another soul.  One she knew in many past-lives.  Did she—they—choose well?

Really, what did the soul learn from all those experiences while in the Bardo—re-living so many of her past-lives?  Surely she rediscovered that courage does not mean being fearless. Without a doubt soul growth occurred and is noted by the lack of resentment towards the soul sharing her mother’s womb.  Her new twin bother is not blamed for indirectly causing her to die from an overdose of opium when they lived as sisters in Egypt, or when that soul was more directly the cause of her being burned at the stake during the Spanish Inquisition.

Will she remain conscious of her other past-lives?  Will her twin brother remember, too?

Will she get what she said she thought she wanted, even though she only casually mentioned that she’d like to have it in one of her past-lives? Will that desire bring about the need to balance even more karmic debts?  Allowing another soul’s bitterness that has festered for thousands of years to be brought out in the open for resolution?

Which of the souls she knew—liked, loved, disliked or hated—from prior lives will she encounter in the life she will live next?

As her soul journey continues she will be shown Universal balancing is not always swift, because of the need for people—souls—to be in the right place at the right time.

Now, as The Beginning Begins, we, along with the soul in the story, quickly discover there is a great deal more to people than their five senses.

CHAPTER ONE

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The sensation was distinctly of me floating in a warm pool of water. I couldn’t see anything, but heard the comforting sound of thump-a-dump...thump-a-dump...thump-a-dump... It sounded like a heart beat. Then I remembered. That’s my new mother’s heart.

I asked, Starry, are you there?

Please, not now, I’m trying to concentrate. I can’t talk with you right now.

Then I heard another voice.  One I didn’t recognize.  It was close—too close. I gave a little jump when he said, She’s busy figuring out how to form your new body.  Hasn’t done it in centuries, adding with a chortle, I guess.

Who or what are you?

Oh, sorry, I’m your brother. Or...will be in a few months time.

How can you be my brother?  Are we twins?  Did the ovum split after all?  She told me to watch out for that, but honestly I don’t know how I could have seen it.  All I could do was flow into the rhythm and get swallowed up into the pulsating energy.

"Well, you do have a few questions.  Let me give you a little advice.  Your soul-spirit is as ancient as they come, but that doesn’t mean she knows everything. Her heady mixture of arrogance and ignorance is due to you pulling bits off here and there to make ego aspects so you could get through your various lives. Outcome is she’s slightly egotistical. And another thing, she doesn’t want to share you."

Completely confused, I questioned, Share me?  What do you mean?  How do you know?

While we—you and me—are in this uterus, we’ll be in constant contact with each other and our spirit-souls.  Yours—call her Starry, right?—isn’t keen on that prospect.  Imagine that’s exactly why it’s taking place.  She’s gotten a little out of control and God is forcing some balancing to take place.

Slightly bewildered, I was still able to snap back, "Well, that may all be true, Brother, but your tone puts a taste of arrogance into my mouth—literally."

Sorry man, didn’t mean to imply that me and my spirit-soul are better than you and yours.  Not hardly.  Matter of fact, wasn’t even part of that genome experiment with those beak-faced creatures that added to your abilities.  Come from ordinary human stock.  But am curious about how she—Starry—is going to manage all of those chromosomes, not having formed a whole new body in centuries.

Wait, I asked, even more perplexed, how do you know about that?  Any of that?  How can you know about our experiment for me to stay conscious when re-living my past lives?

"Huh? That’s not what I was talking about.  But yeah, everyone knows.  Blasted over the Soul-Internet.  Got to watch some of it.  Like one of those old You Tube videos.  Remember them?"

There was a moment of silence before he continued. Admit it, didn’t have time to truly recognize you at first.  Saw you dithering—like you were listening to someone—and decided to take the jump into the sperm and headed toward the egg that rolled along.  Wild and crazy ride, man.  Everything was a frenzy of action.  Then the ovums got fertilized and our two eggs immediately started to grow.  I could sense you.  Hell, could smell you.  Knew I’d been with you before—many times before.  He chuckled, then added, Now we’re here together, I reckon if this womb is good enough for you, it’s good enough for me.

Risk taker, are you?

Without a pause he encouraged me. Go on take a deep breath of the amniotic fluid and smell me.  Memories will flood over your very being.  Mine did of us together.

Slightly unnerved, I said, Okay, maybe I will, but before I do anything let me tell you something. My spiritual...mental aspect, Starry, might have some faults.  But as you just pointed out, I am culpable, and I’d prefer that you not try to separate her from me—in any way.  Rather smartly, I added, Got it?

And then I did as he bid me.

Oh my God! I shouted, Is that you Jane? Then sputtered, How...how can it be you...are you a boy?

Yep.  Will be soon.  All embryos are girls for the first eight weeks, then the testosterone will flood into me and I’ll grow—things.  Read that on the Internet.  Decided to be a man this time.

But how can you be here now.  You only died—let me think—no more than thirty years ago.

You know sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll will kill you faster than all that other stuff people say will.

I said flatly, You hated drugs.

Did.  Do again.  For the last time tried living that kind of life.  Only lived for twenty-seven years.  Glad I’m done with it.

That puts a whole different light on this life experience, I mumbled to myself.  Then remembered. "I did try to help you go through the Bardo the time before this one.  Do you remember when you came to me in one of my dreams?"

Yeah man, do recall it.  Too bad I didn’t slow down as you said.  But was hell-bent on moving forward and when I felt that powerful magnetic pull, jumped right into it.

There was sorrow in his voice when he spoke again, I was sorry almost immediately. That’s why I sent you that bird...

It was a huge Heron. It was tall and stared at me for the longest time.  Adam was impressed too.  You remember him, my husband Adam?  Not waiting for an answer I kept on talking.  "I even used it in a dictionary of symbols that I was writing at the time. The book was titled, The Sandman’s Treasury.  The Heron stands for the message that gives needed peaceful insight and can also represent required balance..."

Yeah, right, glad I was of help, but before you start telling me more of the details you might note that my eyes are starting to glaze over.

You—we—don’t have eyes yet.

Exactly.

Very cute.  I’ll stop boring you then.

Do recollect Adam though, nice man, him.  Anyway, the bird was my message to you that reincarnation is the reality we experience after death.  And then, after that, I wanted to show off my new me, so flashed my face at you in another of your dreams.  You remember that one?

Yes, yes I remember some others too. But let me change the subject for a moment. Why was I unconscious longer than you?

That’s easy. Your spirit-soul hasn’t formed a human body in centuries. Well, not one from different DNA anyway. She’s still working on it as we speak.  Adding in a decidedly bright tone, Makes me the first born. Again

I quipped right back, Right, by how many minutes... seconds?

Don’t be like that.  We’ve got lots to talk about before we get born.

Like what?

Don’t you want to know who your new parents are?

Rather smugly I answered, I already checked them out before I selected them.

Then I noticed what he was saying and asked in a shocked tone, Hey, wait, are you speaking in...well, what language is it? It isn’t English, but I understand it in English.

His answer was lively. Good, you’re becoming conscious.  No. Yes.  Speaking in Tamil, but you hear it in English because that’s all you know at this point. No worries.  When you’re born you’ll know a minimum of seven languages before your first day at school.

"Listen Brother, I can speak Akkadian, Egyptian, Greek, Latin, Hebrew, French, and Spanish besides English.  I can also write in those languages as well as cuneiform.  My soul memories are long and complex. So much for what you know."

"Yeah, okay, but you listen to this: when we’re quiet it’s possible to hear our new mother and all the people around her. And another thing, she’s got doctorates in three different languages, but that still doesn’t make her nearly as exciting as our new dad...."

"Okay, what tops Mom’s credentials?"

Before he could answer we heard a moan just outside of our cocoon.

What’s wrong, Jazzie? It was a sleepy man’s voice.

Oh, it’s the twins.  They are rather restless.  Maybe they’re surprise to see each other, telling jokes, or—something.  Go on back to sleep, Zak.  I’m okay.

Twins? What? Twins? How do you know its twins?  For that matter, how do you know you’re pregnant? It’s only been...

Trust me, I know.  Now go back to sleep.  They’ve settled down and I’m tired.

Okay, but I’ll bet you’ve already picked out names, haven’t you?

Of course. That’s my right as their mother. And don’t you think for even a moment that you’ll be cutting off our baby boy’s little foreskin.  That’s barbaric.

Laughter, kissing noises, and then silence.

There was a slight movement over our cocoon.

My brother told me, She’s rubbing her belly.

I whispered, Can they...she hear us?

How should I know?

You had babies.  Do you think they could hear what you said while you were growing them?

Are you for real, that was two lifetimes ago?

So you didn’t have children in your last life then?

I could feel his tension begin to fill our insulated shell.

Starry’s voice was sharp. You two stop all that chattering. I’m trying to concentrate.

Whispering my brother said, See?  Told ya—bossy.

Ignoring the remark, I answered, Okay, Starry. I haven’t slept in—was it millennia?—no matter, it was at least seven weeks. 

Only being a zygote I probably didn’t, but I felt like I was yawning as I said, I’m going to have a nap, what about you?

I also sensed a matching yawn of hers...his own, as he muttered, "Suh-w-e-e-t. Talk later. Like to know how you knew about the Bardo."

Dosing off easily, I went into a dream state almost immediately.  In my dream I was in a house that was being built from the inside out, top to bottom.  The attic looked complete.  The upper floor was coming into shape, but the other floors, walls, and ceilings were hazy in their transparency and were all insubstantial.  Just as the dream began to fade I laughed, thinking, excellent, I’m still conscious and aware so I can have lucid dreams.  Starry’s busy using my prior thoughts to form my brain and nervous system, so it all works with my new DNA, molecule by molecule.  Looks like she’s succeeded with my brain...so far.

The bed made a tiny squeak when our new father rolled over. I knew the movement upon our little sanctuary meant our mother’s belly was being rubbed on.  Jazzie?

"Hmmm?"

What are the names of our babies?

Our space was rolled over onto its side. The girl is Zoë and the boy is Madison.

You sound so sure and...and so happy.  Do I get a say at all?

Zak, why do you sound like that?  Like you’re insecure. Don’t you like those names?

Sure, sure, they’re fine—I guess.  But I don’t...why don’t I get to help choose?

Zak, I’ve been thinking about names for years.  Those are the ones I like the best.  Don’t you like them?

Jazzie, they’re fine.  Now answer my question.  Why don’t I get a say in it?

The bed made that soft little creak again and in our cocoon there was a sense of tension as it took another turn to the right before there was a sharp thrust upward.

Aren’t there traditions in your family—anyway, some part—where the mother chooses the names?  It is in mine.

There was a kissing noise as muffled words were spoken.  You needn’t sound so defensive.  But I’m not going to win this discussion, am I?

The stress in our mother’s body decreased as she said, I’ll listen if you have something to say.  I’m willing to hear your comments—not complaints—or worse, that whininess.

Slowly he said, Zoë and Madison are good names.  Not really from either of our vast heritages, but good.  I’m okay with them.

Listen, the names are more intuitive than me simply liking them. I can’t tell you the real reason...they are the ones—it’s complicated.

Changing from thoughtful to really serious, he said, Zoë is the Greek word for life.  I get that.  Madison, though, I don’t have any idea where you got that name from.

Yawning, our mother said, Me neither.

What about our heritages?  Your matrilineal line—and mine.

Don’t’ worry honey, those will be the middle names.  I’ll even let yours come first and then mine second.  Think about that.  What a mouthful and a lot of space will be used whenever they need to fill out forms that require middle names.  Listen to this, Zoë bat Shalom al Shiraz...

Right.  Still, I suppose all of your great grandmothers would have a fit if you didn’t...

"Hey Zak, that’s not the point.  And besides, would the women in your family be content without theirs being part of the name?"

Mumbling he asked, Will they have my last name?

Mother moved quickly causing our cocoons to tumble a little.  Yes, of course.  They’ll be little Solomons.  Adding, as she sighed, That’s still how the patriarchal heritage is handled in our world.

There was a movement like our mother was punching something softly. As some more kisses and laughter started, I decided to not eavesdrop—give them some privacy—and spoke with my former sister, soon to be my brother.  You know it’s a good idea to give your spirit-soul a name.

Why?

Well, it will be easier to keep her straight—separate—from Starry when we talk with them.

Yeah, I can dig that.

Then without much pause, Madison directed his attention away from me.  Yo!  Spiritual soul of mine, can I call you Blaze?

There was a moment of silence.  Then a great hearty laugh.  "Blaze?  Where did you get that from?"

You’re way too slam’n hot to have a silly, girly-girl name.  Look more like a blazing sun than a bunch of twinkling stars.

Yeah?  Okay, that sounds pretty sweet to me. If you like it, I’m good. Do it.

Huffing, I whispered, What you said about me and what I named Starry wasn’t very nice.  Besides, what’s wrong with a girly name?

First sighing in discontent, I then began to worry about how Starry was doing with my new body, so I asked my new brother.  "Madison, you think your Blaze could help Starry with all of my molecules, or chromosomes, or whatever she’s arranging?"

Sure, I’ll ask.  Whether Starry will accept is another question.  Blaze isn’t as uptight.

I snickered, then said, Or another way to look at it, she isn’t as lazy as you.

"Don’t start that crap. You don’t know about my last lifetime.  For all you know I was more together than you."

Right.  I’m sure you were.  I can tell from the way you talk.  Anyway, I’d better start calling you Madison.  And I’m no longer just plain ole Mary.  I’m life...Zoë...how much more exciting can a name be?

Don’t start calling me some diminutive of Madison.  Can already hear the teasing.  All the kids will scream ‘mad eye’ or ‘mad eeee’.  He paused for a moment then said, It doesn’t matter, even if you call me Madison, they could still salute me and chant ‘mad, mad, Aye, aye, son’.

"Oooh, you’re right.  Kids can be cruel.  But don’t worry, I’ll stick up for you."

"I know.  You always have. In how many lifetimes now?  And by the way, how did you learn all that stuff about the Bardo?"

Gosh, where to begin?  It’s a long story.

It sounded as though he was blowing out his breath when he said, It’s okay Zoë, you can give me the condensed version.

I decided not to be offended and began, "After Harold died—my husband before Adam, you remember him—I had many experiences that caused me to start thinking that reincarnation might be what happens after a person dies.  That started me studying various philosophies and I eventually read the Tibetan Book of the Dead.  That made more sense to me than all the other theories..."

Madison stopped me. "Didn’t spend forty-nine days in between lives the time before last when you tried to help me, but did go through the Bardo this last time.  Then mumbling, as if under his breath, he added, Wasn’t like what happened to you when you went through it."

It’s all based on what you believe.

"Zoë, don’t be so...so smug sounding. I wasn’t shocked at seeing the other half of my soul—like you were.  Funny, huh?  But guess I didn’t know about all of those things you knew.  Didn’t know about animal souls and unformed energies.  Just knew that my mind—Blaze—was part of me."

Smarty-pants, I snapped back. "You asked for my help.  I tried to help you and you jumped into the energy pulsating from the first womb you felt.  How’d that work out for you, Mr. Know-it-all?"

Madison mumbled, Not too good.

Sensing the sadness in his words and the corresponding hormonal change inside our cocoons, I asked, Do you want to tell me about it?

No way man.  Not now...maybe later.

Sure, but wait, you still haven’t asked your Blaze to help my Starry.

Sounding pleased to have the subject changed, Madison said, Okay, okay.  Then he called out, Yo, Blaze, will you help Starry?

We stayed quiet to find out what either of our mind-souls would say.

Blaze answered quickly, but I sensed some tension in her voice.  "Madison, you don’t have to ask.  I’m on it.  I am helping.  There is no problem between Starry and I—our minds.  There are complications that Starry understands better.  I can only help a little.  Your thoughts aren’t as complex as Zoë’s.  We’ll let you know..."

Those words frightened me.  I shouted, Starry, am I okay?

Of course you are, Starry immediately replied. We’ve got it handled. You two have the same DNA from your mother, but different ones from your father.  You are not identical twins.

Then Blaze snickered. Didn’t either of you notice you have your own amniotic sacs and placentas?

We both answered, No.

I added, We don’t have eyes yet.

Both our spiritual aspects snickered.

Blaze chortled. You don’t need eyes.  You’re mostly only consciousness.  You can see, hear, and sense all sorts of things.

More serious, Starry offered, You’re not very physical yet. You’ve got attributes that you’ll likely forget when you are...physical...but not yet.

Blaze snickered again.  You two are so busy talking—without mouths—that you haven’t paid attention.

I could sense my brother was squirming from Blaze’s laughing chastisement and answered for both of us.

You’re absolutely right. In our excitement to be together, we forgot about all of our non-physical abilities.  Thank you for the reminder.

I could still feel tension from Madison’s place in our mother’s uterus.  But then I realized what Blaze meant.  We could get out of the little sanctuary and explore our new lives.  Hey Madison, she just said we don’t have to stay confined in here.  Let’s see where we’re going to be living once we’re born.

"Suh-w-e-e-t.  But wait man, how can we do that?"

"We’ll think it, just like I did while in the Bardo.  Come on."

Amazingly, Starry showed up in my vision.  Hands on hips, she asked, What are you going to do?

I gazed at her for a long moment.  Her hands went back to shaping a blobby looking thing.  She was miffed, but I didn’t pay much attention to that, I was too interested in what she looked like.  She was iridescent and shimmering with light but...Starry, you look so different.  Your hair is a deep dark red, like mahogany, and you’re taller—let me see your eyes.  I moved my newly discovered ability to look in close and saw her eyes were bright with a flicker of something that sparkled.  Was it a color or was it anger?

Okay, I know you’re not happy about me wandering, but you...you look—I like the way you look.  That’s how I’ll look when I’m born and in my twenties—right?

She didn’t answer, only scowled at me.

In my peripheral vision I saw movement.  Turning in that direction to see there was another radiant being, I said,  You must be Blaze.  He was right you know, you do dazzle my vision.  And that’s Madison next to you.  Wow, what a handsome fellow you are.

Looking back and forth at them I said, We aren’t identical twins at all.  Speaking directly to Madison, I continued, "You are taller than me...and handsome...not pretty.

Zoë, don’t do anything...

Starry, you sound nervous.  Let me...

No, you listen to me, Zoë, your new mother is a sensitive.  She’ll feel a strong sense of loss if you leave—take your consciousness way from inside her.

"What do you mean?  A sensitive?"

Starry looked up from the blob that had no more than a tiny light surrounding it. She always feels the energy around her.  It’s acute.  It goes well beyond being empathetic.  That’s how she knew she’s pregnant.  You can cause her great distress.

Looking towards Madison, I said, We won’t go far or be gone for long.  Maybe five minutes.

Grabbing his hand we rushed out of our cocoon and the room to see the entire house. We looked at everything quickly, then dashed back into our separate places inside our mother.

I could feel the fear.

Crap, Starry was right.

In the few minutes we had been away chaos enveloped our mother’s entire system.  Her stomach was contracting.  Just as I was going to ask Starry what to do I felt a gentle probing of my consciousness with another’s.

Madison, did you feel that?

"Uh-huh, Zoë.  Felt like I was being scanned by a soft light beam."

Starry, Madison, and Blaze came into my vision.  Blaze wasn’t as cheery looking or casual as I’d seen her a few minutes ago.  Now the name Madison had given her seemed really apt since her entire aura was shooting out as though she was in the middle of an inferno.

Her glare could have melded metal as she spoke, Madison, you are not to do that again...

Her attitude made me mad.  I wanted to stick up for Madison—and myself.  I shouted, Stay out of this, Blaze!  It’s not your business.  It’s between Madison and me...

"Hold on there, missy.  Anything to do with Madison is my business.  Far more than yours.  He is me."

Starry cleared her throat to get our attention.

Both Blaze and I turned and snarled, What?

Blaze, may I have a private moment with Zoë?

Blaze snarled, You betcha, I’m going to have some one-on-one time with Madison myself.

Thinking I was going to be yelled at, I was surprised to see that compared to Blaze, Starry was peace itself.  Zoë, you’d better calm down.  I’m still working on your new body and all of these emotions are not helping.

Trying to cope with the fact that I’d made a big mistake, I changed the subject.  "Yeah, well, what about you showing my lives on the Soul-Internet—or whatever that was?  You could have told me..."

"Stop that!  I didn’t know.  You think I was pleased to find out about all the souls watching us argue?  But you did say you were willing to help raise the Universal Consciousness, so maybe it was you who let all of that happen."

Ignoring her implication it was my thoughts that caused us to be watched by who knew how many souls while we were in the Bardo, I again switched the subject.

What’s Blaze doing with Madison?  She acted so nonchalant before and now she’s telling him what to do.

And I’m going to tell you what to do.  When you took Madison and dashed off, Blaze was right with him.  That left his physical body unprotected.

Oh.  So why didn’t she stay with it like you did with mine?

Starry didn’t look up, only swung her head from side to side.  "Back when we were in the Bardo, do you remember all of that business where you were forever complaining about me not feeling everything you feel?  Not getting directly into every action and emotion of yours?  Well, Blaze does that with Madison.  She is never detached from him."

Oh.  Well, what did his body need to be protected from anyway?

Starry looked up from that blobby thing, rolled her eyes, then stared at me for a long time before she answered. There are uncounted energies in the universe that seek physical reality.  During those minutes you were gone many of them showed up and were looking for a way to take over his body.  Your mother was sensitive to all of that and she used a lot of her personal energy to protect it.  What you did was not good.  Shaking her head, she added, You still haven’t stopped jumping to conclusion without knowing all of the facts and realities of your actions.

As she gazed back at the blob she was manipulating, I pointed out, "I did learn not to be afraid of everything when I re-lived all those lives while in the Bardo."

Starry looked up sharply.  Yes, you did do that.  And I promised not to keep any secrets from you.  All you had to do was ask me.

Okay.  I’m sorry.  What can I do to make it better?

Releasing one of her long suffering sighs, she spoke softly, Nothing.  Jasmina did an energy scan and could tell that you were both okay.  Her system will calm down in an hour or so.  Thanks to you and that little stunt you pulled, she’s got a full package of adrenaline that’s got to be processed and released.

Chastised and still ashamed that I’d harmed my new mother and placed my brother in danger, I was feeling sorry for myself when I sensed Madison was back inside our protected space.  Not only sensed, and heard, but to my delight I could see him, too.

He’s mad at me.

I asked, Are you okay?  I’m really sorry I took you and Blaze away from your little body like that.  I didn’t know.

Madison’s words were clipped.  You think you’re so smart Zoë.  You just know everything.  Guess what, you don’t.  Thought you knew something and that I should trust you.  You didn’t and I can’t.  Man, I’m never going to blindly follow you ever again.

I know.  I said I’m sorry.  I didn’t know your body was exposed.  I didn’t see any weird energies when we were looking around.  Did you see any dead people?

I rattled on before he could answer, If I had I would have jumped right out of my skin...or something...

As my voice trailed off, Madison was able to talk.  No man, we were going too fast. Looking at all the stuff in the rooms and didn’t notice.  But Blaze did.  She saw some things and tried to get me to leave you and come back here.  I didn’t.  But I’m listening to her—only her—from now on.

Come on, Madison. Will you accept my apology?  Ever?

Eyes narrowed,