The Apache Mountain War
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- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5“The Apache Mountain War” is another short western, starring one of my favourite Robert E. Howard characters, Breckenridge Elkins.This follows a similar pattern to most Elkins tales, in that he feels obliged to do something on behalf of a demanding relative, only for all the chaos he endures to be futile. It’s an effective formula, though this story is one of the weaker attempts. Still, the blend of humour and violence are enough to make it worth checking out.
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The Apache Mountain War - Robert E. Howard
The Apache Mountain War
by Robert E. Howard
©2015 Wilder Publications
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except for brief quotations for review purposes only.
Wilder Publications, Inc.
PO Box 632
Floyd, VA 24091-0632
ISBN 13: 978-1-63384-902-0
The Apache Mountain War
Some day, maybe, when I'm old and gray in the whiskers, I'll have sense enough not to stop when I'm riding by Uncle Shadrach Polk's cabin, and Aunt Tascosa Polk hollers at me. Take the last time, for instance. I ought to of spurred Cap'n Kidd into a high run when she stuck her head out'n the winder and yelled: Breckinridge! Oh, Breckinridddgggge!
But I reckon pap's right when he says Nater gimme so much muscle she didn't have no room left for brains. Anyway, I reined Cap'n Kidd around, ignoring his playful efforts to bite the muscle out of my left thigh, and I rode up to the stoop and taken off my coonskin-cap. I said: Well, Aunt Tascosa, how air you all?
You may well ast how air we,
she said bitterly. How should a pore weak woman be farin' with a critter like Shadrach for a husband? It's a wonder I got a roof over my head, or so much as a barr'l of b'ar meat put up for the winter. The place is goin' to rack and rooin. Look at that there busted axe-handle, for a instance. Is a pore weak female like me got to endure sech abuse?
You don't mean to tell me Uncle Shadrach's been beatin' you with that axe-handle?
I says, scandalized.
No,
says this pore weak female. I busted it over his head a week ago, and he's refused to mend it. It's licker is been Shadrach's rooin. When he's sober he's a passable figger of a man, as men go. But swiggin' blue rooin is brung him to shame an' degradation.
He looks fat and sassy,
I says.
Beauty ain't only skin-deep,
she scowls. "Shadrach's like Dead Sea fruit--fair and fat-bellied to look