Secrets Kept, Promises Broken

By U. M. Lassiter

Nerdy Ryan Miyashi is about to start college at Cal State Berkeley at the tender age of sixteen. This should be an exciting and happy time for the bright young man, especially since his first boyfriend, Tanner Cruz, is a total hunk, even if he’s a bit self-centered. Things were going great until Ryan accidently lets it slip to Tanner’s dad that Tanner’s childhood seizures have started to reoccur, costing the promising young athlete his chance at a football scholarship. Almost faster than it started, Ryan’s first romance is over. Or is it? At the same time, another handsome young man seems to be especially friendly...

• Language: English
• Publisher: eXtasy Books Inc
• Release date: May 1, 2015
• ISBN: 9781487403133

Book preview

Nerdy Ryan Miyashi has just had his first romance and his first break-up, and he’s an emotional wreck. His hunky boyfriend Tanner has shut him out. Is it his fault? Everyone seems to have advice for the gifted young scholar—his brother, his parents, but most especially another handsome young man named Elliot Camden.

Nerdy Ryan Miyashi is about to start college at Cal State Berkeley at the tender age of sixteen. This should be an exciting and happy time for the bright young man, especially since his first boyfriend, Tanner Cruz, is a total hunk, even if he’s a bit self-centered. Things were going great until Ryan accidently let it slip to Tanner’s dad that Tanner’s childhood seizures have started to reoccur, costing the promising young athlete his chance at a football scholarship. Almost faster than it started, Ryan’s first romance is over. Or is it? At the same time, another handsome young man seems to be especially friendly...

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Secrets Kept, Promises Broken

Copyright © 2015 U.M. Lassiter

ISBN: 978-1-4874-0313-3

Cover art by Latrisha Waters

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.

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Devine Destinies, an imprint of eXtasy Books Inc

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Smashwords Edition

Secrets Kept, Promises Broken

Berkeley Daze 4

By

U.M. Lassiter

Chapter One

Things were going so well. I’d come out to my parents and friends, and the sky didn’t fall. In fact, most of them were so supportive, I was starting to feel good about myself. I’d finished high school at the tender age of fifteen, and I had a full-ride academic scholarship at the University of California, Berkeley, and I was even taking a couple of graduate-level courses at Cal that summer.

Best of all, I had a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend, either. My boyfriend—my first—was the school’s star athlete. What’s more, he was jaw-droppingly, heart-poundingly, pants-wettingly beautiful.

He was no twink. At six-foot-one, one-hundred-eighty-five ripped-to-shreds pounds, blond hair and blue eyes, he was the most masculine man I could ever have imagined. He fit right in with all the cool kids. Everybody loved him.

And he loved me.

And I fucked it all up.

Big time.

Squirt? Can I come in? my brother asked through the bedroom door.

Go away! I pulled my pillow over my head. My door didn’t have a lock, so I couldn’t really keep Arnie out. I heard the doorknob turn and the door open a crack.

C’mon, squirt, it’s me.

It had been five days since I’d heard from Tanner, and three since I’d given up trying. We’d been on a camping and fishing trip and Tanner had had a seizure—probably more than one—during the trip but I’d been too stupid to recognize it. After he’d done the full-blown writhing bit on the banks of the lake, I’d been forced to drive us both home, even though I only had a learner’s permit and Tanner wasn’t old enough to be my wing man.

On the drive home, Tanner had used his considerable powers of persuasion and made me promise not to tell anyone. He was a childhood cancer survivor, and apparently the odd seizure was a legacy of the brutal chemotherapy he’d been forced to endure. Until now, they had been well-controlled through medication.

Tanner was extremely selective about who he let know about that part of his past. I was incredibly touched when he finally confided in me, but at the same time, I’d been sworn to secrecy. He felt that part of his past was nobody’s business, and I couldn’t disagree. To the casual observer, Tanner could come across as an insufferable egotist—that’s certainly how I saw him in the beginning. That made it all the more amazing to understand that Tanner kept that secret because he didn’t want the extra attention he would certainly get if people knew about his medical struggles.

One thing Tanner was not able to convince me to do was let him drive. At all. Over his protestations, I drove directly to Tanner’s house. I didn’t even want him to risk driving the short distance home from my house. Because of that, Tanner’s dad, Lou, drove me home.

Lou seemed to sense immediately that something was up. All it took was a few carefully worded questions from Lou and I cracked like an egg. The whole situation had been really scary and I ended up pouring my heart out and Lou hugged me while I cried. He told me everything would be alright and waited until I was safely inside before he drove off. A couple of hours later I got the text that I presumed would be my last communication ever from Tanner—

u told

I felt Arnie sit on the far side of the bed.

Mom says dinner is ready, he said.

I have homework.

Then why aren’t you doing it?

I’m taking a break.

Then come have dinner.

I’m not hungry.

Damn it, Ryan! Get up off your ass and...

Arnie was interrupted by the sound of Mom clearing her throat.

Fine, he said as he got up to leave. I did my duty. Arnie figured he’d had about enough of the my-heart-is-broken-and-my-life-is-over routine.

I heard Arnie stomp out of the room and felt Mom take his place on the bed beside me.

Ryan, sweetheart, Mom said as she gently stroked my shoulder. We’d had a small breakthrough a couple of days earlier when I no longer exploded when someone tried to comfort me. Now I just moped.

You need to eat, she said.

I said I’m not hungry. I adjusted my pillow, but I didn’t turn to face her. Mom continued her gentle rubbing and let out a sigh.

Honey, she said softly, I’m going to say something you’re not going to believe and will probably find terribly patronizing.

Try me.

You’re young, she said. You’ll get over him.

I paused for a moment before I spoke.

You’re right, I said. "It is patronizing."

Mom gave out another, more resigned sigh.

A broken heart’s not something a mom or a dad can fix, honey, she said. We’d give anything, if we could.

I know, I said. I’m sorry I said that.

Your father and I both had our hearts broken before we found each other. The pain never quite goes away.

I rolled over to face her.

And that’s supposed to help, how, exactly?

Mom brushed the hair out of my eyes.

When you find the right, um...

Boy.

...Boy, yes, you’ll be able to put that pain away. It will still be there, but it won’t be able to hurt you anymore.

And in the mean time?

You live your life.

I rolled back over to face the wall.

Yeah, okay.

Ryan, honey, promise me something.

What?

Promise me you won’t lose yourself in your schoolwork the way you used to, just to get over Tanner.

She had me pegged. I’d started two summer classes at Cal—graduate-level Molecular Biology and Micro Physiology and I’d thrown myself into them. Where other people might drink to forget—I study.

Mom leaned down and gave me a kiss.

Come down and have something to eat.

Okay.

I got up and followed Mom downstairs, trying to look as forlorn as possible.

About time, Arnie said as he grabbed a dish and started loading up his plate. Dad wouldn’t let us start without you.

Arnold, Dad said, try to find some shred of sensitivity in that thick skull of yours.

Yes, sir, Arnie said with a slight tinge of impatience. Jeez, he muttered. He was old enough that he wasn’t scared when Dad used his full name anymore.

All was quiet for the first few minutes of dinner, save for the clinking of dishes and the sounds of various foods being plopped out onto plates. Dad finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

Any plans for the weekend, Sport? he asked.

I dunno, I answered sullenly. Not really. Maybe some lab work.

What? Arnie said in mid-chew. At Cal?

My brother was showing his annoyance at being pressed into transportation duty to take me to classes. Tanner was going to drive me but...oh, well.

I have to work this weekend! Arnie whined. He delivered pizzas.

I’ll drive him, Dad said. That okay with you, sport?

I guess, I said as I picked at my potatoes.

What about Sunday? Dad persisted.

Um, homework, I guess.

Ryan... Mom said with a slightly chiding tone.

I thought maybe we could do a little shopping, Dad said.

Shopping? With Dad? This was something new, and I was sure I wouldn’t like it. Going to the mall would just remind me that I wasn’t with Tanner anymore.

I don’t know, Dad. The mall would just...kind of...

Not the mall, Dad interrupted. I thought we’d take a little run over to that big used car place in Concord. The one on TV.

Arnie suddenly cleared his throat and made a big show of setting down his fork, leaning back and folding his arms. Dad paused from what he was saying and turned to his older son.

Arnie, we’ve already been over this, he said. My brother was a teensy bit sensitive about the fact that he had to buy his own car—even if Mom and Dad did lend him most of the money. He just frowned and looked down at his plate.

So, whadda y’say, chief? You and me? Road trip? Buy a car?

I thought you were just going to look, Mom said.

We are, Dad answered somewhat defensively. But you never know.

Mom could sense the increase in testosterone that came from the thrill of the hunt. It was her turn to lean back in her chair.

How will you get it home? she asked. Ryan doesn’t even get his license until next month.

Oh, yeah. That’s right. Dad rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Arnie, you’ll have to come too.

"I told you