My Raging Heart

By Jennifer J. Heath

Driven from her small town by the humiliation of a cheating husband, Myra throws herself into a completely different world. She arrives in the big city as naïve as ever, but soon realizes that she must learn to believe in herself. She first must decide what she would like to do for a living. She applies to what seems like every job position in every restaurant in Manhattan. With very little to advertise on her résumé, her job search is lengthy and difficult.
Finding support in unexpected places, Myra surprises herself with the success that follows. Her social life far surpasses her wildest dreams. She meets a man she had once idolized: her favorite musician, Eric. To her surprise, Eric continues to express interest in spending time with her, despite having a model for a girlfriend. Their friendship helps her through the rough times of acclimating to city life and job hunting.
Eric had been a superstar when Myra was in high school, but had all but disappeared from public life when he suffered an emotional breakdown after his parents died tragically in a fire. The friendship between Myra and Eric remains innocent as Eric is dating Tiffany, an ambitious woman who wants to parlay Eric’s past fame into her own. She isn’t satisfied with one man, however, and Myra catches her in more than one act of indiscretion. As much as she cares for Eric, Myra doesn’t feel that it’s her business to tell him about what she had seen.
Soon after Myra arrives to the city, she is called back to her hometown. Her father broke his leg and requires her help with the chores. Eric takes Myra up on the offer to show him around her family farm. They manage to steal moments that only make them fall for each other more. They chop hay together on the tractor, round up the cows from the pasture and milk them, catch fireflies in the yard and swim in the pond with the rope swing. While Eric and Myra have a good time in the country, Tiffany could not return to the city fast enough. She not only was bored out of her mind, but she also was attacked by a playful goat.
Back in the city, Eric is inspired. He picks up his guitar again and write songs. Things go so well that he records and releases a single. Soon, he is back at the top of his game. His song is played on the radio constantly. His fame builds back up to superstardom. Upon Myra’s return to the city, she finally finds a job. She waitresses in a little diner. She is ecstatic that she has finally found something that she can do well and use it to make money. For a while, Myra is happy. She has money coming in and her friend Eric is finding new success in his music career. Soon however, Myra finds that living in the city is not all it’s cracked up to be. She is nearly robbed when she decided to take a shortcut down a back street and after a fire breaks out in her hotel, she loses her already meager possessions. She’s not spending nearly as much time with Eric as she used to and Tiffany keeps telling her that she is too plain and ugly to be seen with Eric by the media and it would hurt his career. Myra ends up getting fired because her manager wants to hire her niece instead and must make the difficult decision to go back to live with her parents.
Back home, Myra looks for employment, but the only place in town hiring is at her ex-husband’s hardware store. Dennis is still with his mistress, but expresses interest in getting back together with her. Myra also is under pressure from her mother to get together with Burt, a farmer who lives the next road over. Myra doesn’t have interest in either of these men.
Meanwhile, in the city Eric finds out about Tiffany and finally begins to understand her true character. Through the breakup, he can only think of Myra’s warm smile, kindness and compassion. Eric decides to go to Myra and find out if she feels the same.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jennifer J. Heath
• Release date: Apr 6, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311735911

Jennifer J. Heath

Jennifer Heath is the author of the novels 'My Raging Heart' and 'The Nereidians of Ondine'.I love animals (I care for two dogs and many fish), kayaking on the beautiful lakes in my area and reading!

Book preview

My Raging Heart

Jennifer J. Heath

Published by Jennifer J. Heath at Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Jennifer J. Heath

ISBN: 9781311735911

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Acknowledgements:

Cover Credit: Flaming Heart by Nidhin MC, Deviant Art

Chapter 1

Almyra, or Myra as she’s known to her friends and family, is a free spirit. She had been since she was a little girl. Her imagination runs wild; she always comes up with different scenarios for the world around her. She thinks the clouds hold secrets. She lies on her back for hours, staring at the sky and finds the shapes in them. She walks through the trees on her parent’s property every day. Her favorite spot in the entire world is on a hill, overlooking a pond and the small town that she and her parents inhabit. She names her favorite trees.

A large section of rocks, hidden by her friends, the trees, she frequents. She leaps from rock to rock and plays for hours on them, until her mother calls her back to do her assigned chores. Her favorite job is gathering berries. She spends extra time in the berry patch, purposefully going the long way to and from it. She is told that there are bears in the berry patch, but she does not fear the animals. She emerges from the woods with her fingers and tongue stained. Even though she returns to her mother’s side and performs the tasks as requested, Myra’s head is always in the woods. She daydreams constantly, imagining a different place every time.

As she grows older, Myra is given more difficult chores on the farm. She doesn’t mind; she usually chooses to do them on her own, with little help, so she can be alone with her thoughts. She has so many that she doesn’t feel like her head is big enough to contain them all. Eventually, she can do the chores without needing to think about what she is doing, and her mind is allowed to move elsewhere. Summers fade in and out. Autumn always seems to come too quickly. She attends school and tries to focus on what she is required to learn. She doesn’t do poorly in her classes, but finds it dull and her mind always manages to escape to the woods.

As she enters adolescence, Myra dreads another drab year of going through the usual routine. She cannot wait for graduation. She listens to her favorite bands, thinking how much she would love to be away from this small town and everyone in it. No one understands where she’s coming from. They don’t understand the wants and dreams of a teenager. They think she is just being a silly girl. She gets off the bus at the end of her school day and takes her time wandering up the long, winding driveway. She puts her favorite album in the CD player. The disk is scratchy from wear; she will have to babysit more to be able to buy a new one soon. Her mother yells up the stairs for her to set the table for dinner. The family gathers around the table, but there is not much talk about their day. Just eating, cleaning up, and then back upstairs to get lost again in her own world.

The few friends she has have plans for after graduation. When asked about hers, she draws a blank. She has no clue what she will do. She knows what she would like to do, but has to resign herself to the fact that she will not likely be leaving town. Her mother gives her constant suggestions as to what things she should aspire to do, but none seems to satisfy her. Myra is really only comfortable telling her thoughts and feelings about her post-graduation plans with her boyfriend, Dennis. He is in the same situation. He also dreams of vacating the small town life in which he grew up, but will not be doing so after he graduates. His plans are set in place already; he is to work in his family’s hardware store. The similarity in their fates draws them closer together and forms a strong bond. She begins planning their future together as a couple, and sees her way out. She would become a house wife after graduation. They are in love; they would get married and have a wonderful, blissfully happy life together. It sounds perfect to Myra.

Dennis is a very sheltered young man. His parents always made him attend church and Bible school. In their eyes, he is perfect, the good Christian boy, and Myra is not what they considered a good match for their son. They feel that Myra is too rough around the edges for their Dennis. His father even tells Dennis that he doesn’t think she is attractive enough for him. Despite his constant need to please his parents, he defends Myra. He had known her since she was little, as they attend the same church and school. He tries to convince his parents that she has the same morals and values as them. He agrees with his dad that Myra may not be as pretty as his mother and uses this as an excuse for his father’s subjective opinion. Even Dennis’s defense does not convince them that he should be with Myra.

While they dated, premarital sex is a controversial topic. His mother makes sure that the young couple was never left alone. She offers her house for their dates in order to keep a close watch on them. She speaks to Myra’s parents about the situation. Her mother wholeheartedly agrees with her about keeping the kids virtuous, but Myra’s father seems to be a little more lenient. Myra and Dennis don’t really think much of it, until they feel they are both ready to take the next step in their relationship. As so many other kids do, they find a way to be together. Myra knows that it goes against the church teachings, but feels safe in the knowledge that she and Dennis are engaged and therefore are already committed to each other. Dennis remains unconvinced and knows that his parents would not accept her logic. Dennis is terrified that his mother will find out of their shenanigans until the moment they marry.

Myra and Dennis plan the entire event with little help from their parents. It is a small affair. Dennis’s parents would have wanted to invite the entire town to their son’s nuptials, but they agree to keep it low key because of the young lady Dennis had chosen to be his wife. Even though Myra’s father is a good customer at the hardware store, they prefer not to advertise the joining of the two families. After all, they are business owners, upstanding citizens of the community and her father is a farmer, something they considered beneath them and their son. Being a small town, it is difficult to hide the marriage. His parents decide to put on a good front and pretend they are happy to accept Myra into their family. So the couple marries, moves into the apartment over his parent’s store and sets up house. Myra’s new in-laws are somewhat helpful, but there are times when Myra wonders about their motives. Not only Myra, but they seem to only help anyone when it will benefit them in some way.

After the wedding, Myra spends most of her time confined to their apartment. This may bother some people, but she likes their little home. She helps her father on the farm if he requires it, but during these stints, an increase in tension between her and her mother makes Myra want to avoid working with her dad. Her mother had taken offense to Myra’s decision to not follow her advice to get a job suitable for a woman and marry instead. When Myra is upset with her mother’s behavior, Dennis encourages her to smooth things over.

You really should be going to help them. I feel bad that you are distant with them because of me, Dennis said sorrowfully.

It’s not you at all. They have always been this way, especially Mom, Myra said, reassuring him.

Some days Dennis encourages Myra to get out and about. He asks her to go to stores in the next town over for a specific brand. He insists on purchasing only these brands that take her there for almost a full day.

Myra is a good housewife. As traditionally expected, she cooks, cleans and takes care of the house. Myra asks if Dennis would like her to help him out in the store, but he doesn’t want to hear any of that.

No wife of mine is going to work. I can provide plenty for us both! Besides, if we worked all day, side by side, we’d get sick of each other, Dennis said adamantly. I wouldn’t want that to happen, would you? he asked defiantly.

No, of course not, Myra said quietly, I just thought that I could help. You come home so tired and…

And what? Dennis asked defensively.

Nothing, Myra said quickly, evading the question, You are right.

Good, he said, kissing her on the forehead.

With one paycheck, however, money is very tight. She manages to work around the shortage of funds; she becomes very good at shopping to make ends meet. It was a no frills household. The days swiftly and routinely drone on; one moves into another with no changes. The routine is ridiculously automatic.

She hears remarks once in a while about the delivery woman that brings shipments to the store; her name is Sally. Myra never had much time for gossip, however, and doesn’t believe a word of it. They see Sally at church every Sunday and she makes no indication that she has anything more than a professional relationship with Dennis. She does other men, but not him.

Myra walks in on them. Dennis and the delivery woman, Slutty Sally as she’s known around town, had stripped the desk of its items and are making out hard on top of it. Papers strewn over the floor, Sally and Dennis both look in the direction of the door which they usually lock. Sally’s shoulder length, curly red hair is wilder than usual. Her short, stout figure covers Dennis and most of his desk.

Dennis pushes Sally off him and tries to stop Myra from storming out. Sally tries to hide that her clothing is half undone and shrinks into the corner of the office. Myra’s heartbeat is interfering with her hearing. She hears none of Dennis’s pleading or lame explanations, mostly asking Myra not to tell his parents of his disloyalty.

She rushes for the stairs, takes them up to their apartment and packs her bag. Dennis throws his hands in the air and returns to the office, unsure about what to do or say. She is infuriated with Dennis. After so many years, she had trouble understanding how he could do something like this to her. He had banged the delivery women right under her feet. Myra could not believe how stupidly naïve she had been. She leaves the apartment quickly, taking just a few changes of clothes and some essentials.

As her anger eases, Myra thinks about where her feet are taking her. She couldn’t possibly go to her parent’s. She knows she would be constantly reminded of how she failed. The humiliation of the affair would drive a further wedge between her and her mother. She knows that they would help her, but not without exhibiting smug arrogance. The ‘I told you so’s’ would be too much to bear. They would definitely not be sympathetic. She decides she would rather go almost anywhere than back to her parent’s house. Her self-esteem is lower than ever as she walks swiftly to the bank and takes out all the money from their account. There was not much there, but enough for her to get away for a while.

Chapter 2

Myra approaches the bus station at a slower pace than what she had been keeping. Despite this, she could feel her heart beating faster and faster. She finds the ticket counter and gets in line. It seems to move quickly, Myra does not even have time to figure out where she’d like to go.

How can I help you, ma’am? asked the ticket agent.

Shuffling forward to the window with a small slot for money and ticket exchange, Myra said, Hi, I’m not sure. What is the furthest place your buses go?

Our bus services end in New York City, Penn Station, answered the agent.

Myra hands over the money required to purchase a one-way ticket to New York City, Penn Station and takes leave of the counter to find a seat near the loading zone. Her palms stay sweaty, but her breathing and heartbeat eventually return to normal as she waits. The bus pulls up to the curb in front of her and hisses as it brakes. A couple of people disembark and wander away. She is the only person waiting for this bus, so she quickly enters it and picks a seat.

Immediately, her mind starts reeling. She is both excited and scared at the same time. She is aware that she has very little knowledge of what life is like elsewhere. This is the first time that she has really left her small hometown on her own. She