Celebrate the Dandelions
By Valerie
()
About this ebook
I was born in 1945 when families were encouraged to keep secrets. The rule, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, stems from this concept. Unmarried and pregnant young girls were sent to visit their fictitious Aunt Martha, or hidden in the upstairs bedroom. If your father beat your mother, you learned quickly to accept his behavior as the norm in all families. What we now view as abnormal behavior was never discussed with friends, neighbors, or the authorities. There were few laws governing family safety, no books telling you what to do to protect yourself, and no councilors to provide advice. Silence ruled. Sadly, this silence birthed a generation of people unable to cope with the misery and chaos the abuse caused in their lives. With no one to lead them out of the darkness and into the light, many were forced to find their own coping methods which, in turn, created new (and some not so new) psychiatric maladies such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Depression, and too often, suicide. Abuse, all abuse, creates monsters of us all whether we want to admit it or not..
Valerie
Valerie was born in Seattle, Washington in 1945 during a time when abuse was treated as a family secret; never to be spoken of outside the home. Unable to subscribe to the 'silence rules' society demanded of her, Valerie became the anti-Christ figure in her family. She was viewed as the problem, not her father, the abuser. The third of six daughters, Valerie found herself alone in her struggle to stop her father's abuse. Her mother was oblivious to the horror Valerie experienced, and refused to acknowledge her pain. Her sisters viewed her as a thorn in their side and eventually cast her aside as an unwanted trouble maker. As a child of abuse, Valerie followed the all too familiar path most abused children find themselves on. She became an angry, rebellious child and teenager, a promiscuous alcoholic and drug addict as an adult. She suffered several mental maladies from the abuse and lack of support, such as stress related seizures, gaps in time, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder resulting in numerous hospitalizations. Left to raise herself, Valerie made numerous poor choices that resulted in an inability to maintain a lasting relationship and a failed marriage. Unable to hold down a job, Valerie became an escort and eventually went to work for the Seattle Police Department and US Treasury Department as an undercover agent. While working undercover, she was diagnosed with breast cancer but refused to let that stop her from working for the police. After not seeing her mother for several years, Valerie was forced to move back in with her during her fight with cancer. While living with her mother, they began to deal with the truth of the past. Eventually Valerie and her mother moved to Mazatlan, Mexico in 2004 to get away from her sisters who felt Valerie had too much influence on their mother. Moving became the answer to her problems. Her mother died in 2006 and Valerie continues to live in Mazatlan with no intention of returning to the US. Valerie wrote the book Celebrate the Dandelions at the request of her mother. She spent two years writing the book after her mother's death. Valerie also studies art at the Angela Peralta School of Fine arts near her home and many of her paintings have been purchased and adorn the walls in homes in Australia, New Zealand, England, and the United States.
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