Pneuma

By Serena Kearney

pneu·ma
ˈn(y)o͞omə/
noun
the vital spirit, soul, or creative force of a person.

Do you know what it feels like to hold fate in your hand?
Was it fate that my whole life got turned upside down?
He was the reason I had to leave.
Making the sacrifice caused my heart to rip in two.
I wanted normalcy. I wanted my life to be my own.
But it’s nothing without the people I love, and it’s for
the people I love that I have to leave.
Fate. Please be kind.
Will he still remember me?
Will our first and last kiss be one and the same?
Please remember.
Please be with me.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Serena Kearney
• Release date: Mar 28, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310023781

Serena Kearney

I am a Leo. Born August 10, living on the east coast. I self-published my first novel, PNEUMA, November 2014, and it's hasn't stopped since.One of my biggest problems was having too much to read. Now my newfound problem; having too much to write and not enough hands to type it out. Not enough brains to put the stories together fast enough. Not enough tea or coffee to keep me awake 24/7.So, like every normal person, I have to take it one day at a time.My cravings for sweets keep me going, any sort of cakes (especially red velvet), pies, cookies, and ice cream.I have a cat named Bongo-Bongo, who loves to get in my way when I'm trying to work, but is too cute for me to fight him off.And then I have my family, specifically my husband, who puts up with my endless nights, my tapping of the keyboard, my ridiculous imagination, and yet, he always encourages me to believe in myself and follow my dreams.

Book preview

C hapter 1

When you look back on a moment, you just don’t get how real that moment was. How that one look, those couple of words, that one smile could mean more to you than you even realize. And in the rare instances, how that one moment is really almost… destined— fated —that you were supposed to meet. Supposed to talk. And somehow, you kept that moment and made it even more.

When I was nine, I didn’t realize that it was one of those moments. It was our moment.

My mom hopped me out of the car and took me to the bottom of the steps of this big white building. It was the day before my ninth birthday, and she decided to do this now.

Stay here, honey, I have to get your Gramps settled in. Don’t move. She rubbed my head and went back to the car. I turned my head and saw them wheeling my Gramps into the building with the handicap ramp.

I looked away.

I couldn’t bear for my Gramps to be away from me. I felt alone.

The moisture from my eyes reached its limit as tears began running down my face. My nose was stuffy and itchy as I sniffed for air. My chest struggled as I tried to gasp for breath. Moving my short black curls away from my face, I wiped my cheeks.

Ahem.

I turned quickly and saw a boy who looked about my age standing behind me. He had black hair that was so dark it was almost blue looking in the sunlight; a very unique, mesmerizing color. He held a blue lollipop.

I squinted. His eyes were like the sky, except darker.

What are you looking at? I turned my head back and continued wiping my face, unable to stop the flow of my tears. I felt him sit down next to me and wrapped my small hands around my shoulders in an effort to comfort myself.

It felt like a long time passed and he didn’t say anything. Why was he just sitting there? What did he want? Wasn’t this a place for old people?

I found myself looking over at him through my blurry vision. He was staring up at the sky. He took his lollipop and placed it in front of me, making my eyes do a weird cross over thing.

Here, I think you need this more than I do. His voice was gentle and soothing. It’s blueberry. His smile made me feel better.

Before I knew it, I took it and started licking it, Mmm…blueberry. My tears were already drying on my face.

Why were you crying?

I stopped mid-lick and moved it from my lips, Oh… I looked over my shoulder back at the doors, then back at the lollipop. It’s my Gramps. My mom is sending him here and I don’t know why.

Well don’t worry, my parents take me here to volunteer all the time, I can keep an eye on him for you. A big smile filled my face. Ah, a smile! It suits you!

My cheeks got tingly and weird.

Reed! We both looked back and found a scrawny red-headed kid waving his hands in our direction from the entrance. Come on! They want you to play too!

Coming, Aiden! the boy yelled as he stood up. I gotta go. He gave a small shrug as he looked to where Aiden was, then back down at me, the sun almost making him look like one of those angels on TV.

Thanks. He did nothing but bring smiles to my face. And maybe I can visit you too if-if you want? I found myself shy around this boy, whoever he was.

I’d really like that. His eyes and his smile were so warm. He held out his small hand. I’m Reed.

I placed my hand in his, feeling his warm touch.

Estelle.

C hapter 2

8 Years Later

I saw the blinking red lights stop as the orange bus drove off and I ran down the street while the bus made its turn around the corner.

Shit. Really?

Sometimes I hated being short. Five foot five meant my short legs couldn’t keep up. I could feel my round cheeks burning red from me actually trying to catch up with a bus… yeah… right. I grabbed my curly black hair and threw it to one side to let the air hit the back of my neck. There were times I hated having long hair, but I still couldn’t bring myself to chop it off.

Damn it! I cursed and then cursed some more as I continued squinting in the direction the bus was, hoping— willing it—to come back.

It didn’t.

A white Jeep with the top off pulled up next to me. There in the driver’s seat was Kent, my tall blonde of a best friend. His green eyes gave a twinkle to match his amused smile and strong chin. Again, Estelle? Really? His brow cocked.

Kent! My feet gave a slight bounce to his name, How do you always know when to save the day? I leapt into the passenger’s side of the Jeep and threw my book bag in the back.

Eh, I can always read your mind. It was sickening how confident he sounded.

He pulled out, but in a split second, a red convertible screeched in front of us. He slammed on the brakes and my head and chest jolted forward.

Aiden was in the driver’s seat of the red convertible, with his oh-so-cool, thick, black sunglasses with flames on the side that matched his red, spiked up hair.

He flashed that sly smile.

You dick.

My gaze drifted over to the passenger seat and quickly found those swirls of blue gazing at me. Yup, there he was. Reed.

Aiden standing up from his seat with his hands spread out took me back to reality. You ought to watch how you drive, Kent.

"How I drive?" Kent spat as he sat up in his seat, ready to jump out of his car.

I placed my hand on his forearm to calm him down and stood up in my seat, aiming my gaze at Reed, who had all of my attention.

Reed, really? I nodded my head at Aiden. Tell him to watch where he’s going! I crouched slightly, but then jumped back up. And stop cutting in front of us all the damn time!

Aiden brought both his hands to his heart. Aw, but Estelle— he took a small inhale —it gives me oh such great pleasure to see the look on Kent’s face. He let out a laugh hinted with evil intention.

I gave them both a look as my eyes went to slits. Reed leaned back in his seat and tapped Aiden on the shoulder. Come on, man, we better go or we’ll be late to school.

Aiden rolled his eyes, but then landed his gaze in Kent’s direction as his lip curled in a jabbing smile. He gripped the steering wheel as his foot slammed on the gas. His car screeched forward, both him and Reed jolting back in their seat, as he filled the air with that burnt rubber smell.

Kent slowly sat back down and let out a breath as some of his tension rolled off of him. God— he blew out a breath —how can I stand those two after all these years? He gripped his steering wheel and drove in the same direction, slow and steady.

I debated on actually answering his rhetorical question. My smart mouth won. You know why.

He looked away from me. He didn’t want to go there. But I did, I went there; the only reason Kent put up with their idiocy was because of me. I hated to admit it, Kent hated to admit it, but we both knew it. Admitting it ourselves? We hated it.

Uuurgh! Still— Kent looked back in front of him —as long as I can remember I’ve always been on the receiving end of their hateful looks. His eyes squinted. They love to give me a hard time. It’s not like I ever did anything to them. His hands gripped the wheel harder.

Don’t worry, you know they are good guys deep down. Well, actually I don’t really know about Aiden, but Reed definitely.

Ha-ha, whatever you say. He made sure I heard his sarcasm.

Ever since Reed and I met at the nursing home, we had always been there for each other, no matter what.

Literally. No. Matter. What.

It was quite eerie how in tune we were with each other or how the slightest movement of my face told him when I was mad or when I was sad.

I hated to admit that to Kent, since he thought he was first and had always been there for me, but really it was Reed. He was the first friend I befriended when I moved here.

I’d moved here with my mom and Gramps. Both of my parents were doctors and they worked long odd hours, so I rarely saw them. When they divorced, my mom won custody, but my dad was able to see me whenever he wanted. With the distance and his odd hours, though, it was hard to do. I missed him a lot.

My parents went about their business and I took care of myself. I remember when I was younger, I cooked and cleaned and my mom didn’t seem to have many set rules, yet I tried to please her when I could. I’d make dinner for her and leave her notes, since she came in late, usually long after I’d gone to bed.

I remember the first day I met Kent, which ironically, was the same day he met Reed and Aiden. It was my first day at my new school here in North Carolina. I was in the fifth grade, just ten years old, and boy was I a spitfire.

****

I can do it! I can go higher! my little petite voice yelled as I swung on the swing, moving my stubby legs back and forth to gain momentum. I loved the air and the feeling that I could fly and soar around the world—the universe! Even as a kid, I enjoyed my freedom of imagination. I squinted my eyes in the distance seeing three little figures over another smaller figure on the ground.

Oooh! Adventure?

I leapt off the swing,. Oh no, someone is in trouble in the space world. I started slowly creeping onto the unknowing subjects. I covered my mouth to keep myself from going into my giggle fits.

Come on dweeb, hit me. Hit me! What are you, chicken? taunted one of the invaders as I called them in my ten-year-old mind. He was quite large in the belly and had red freckles all over his mean face. He was nudging the smaller figure on the ground who was thin and had his hands wrapped around his shaggy blonde hair for protection. He looked up with fear, his green eyes glazed.

" Hey! " Even as a ten year old, my voice was booming and commanding, catching their attention. The freckled big kid stared at me with his hate-filled green eyes. The other two brown-haired scrawny kids slowly took a step back away from me. The freckled kid didn’t move back like the others. Instead, he was taking a step forward.

And what are you going to do about it? Even his voice was nasally and mean. He took another step forward, this time towering over me, of course being ten, I wasn’t that big to begin with.

I stared back. Hard . Hard into those gross beady eyes and stood my ground. I am going to stop you from invading!

Damn, I was a confident, stupid kid. I literally saw him as an invading alien hurting one of our inhabitants.

Wait! Calvin… leave her alone! The boy stood up from the ground, his whole body trembling at the fact he actually said something.

So the invader had a name… Calvin.

He turned his attention back to the boy.

Shut up, dweeb! He marched over and pushed him back down on the ground. A small whimper came from the boy as he fell on his butt and hands.

I had seen enough.

Something came over me and I lunged at the back of the freckled beast and started hitting his shoulders with all my might. It did little good, since my hands were so little and he was double my size. He laughed at my attempt and pushed me off with ease. I fell hard on my side. Dirt flew up in my face and hands. I wanted to cry, but I wanted to be strong so I held back my whimpers. Somehow Calvin still heard it.

He laughed at me. "Ha! Now you’re gonna cry ? A dweeb trying to rescue another dweeb, how lame!"

Leave her alone! The boy rammed at Calvin, trying to push him away, but Calvin took his hand and placed it on his head, shoving him back down on the ground and turned his attention back to me.

I rubbed the dirt off my face and looked up at him. Staring. Glaring.

Now I have two dweebs to have fun with! He lifted his foot, about to kick me on the side, when suddenly— BOOM!

He was out of sight.

I blinked a couple of times and saw him on the ground a few feet away, dust in the air from his fall. I found a figure standing in front of me. There he was, those sky dark eyes glaring over at Calvin, who was trying to get up from the ground.

The boy came to my side and helped me up. Are you okay? His green eyes were kind-looking, but his brows pulled together like he was mad… or was it worry?

I nodded and turned back to Reed. I had the invasion under control, Reed! God, I was a whiney ten year old.

Wha– who are you?! Calvin stood up. He squinted again. Doesn’t matter, I will crush you just like those other dweebs!

Actually, you won’t. Little red-headed Aiden came and stood next to the boy. Both had a power no other ten year olds could match. At least, that’s what I thought. Calvin stared at both of them in terror, tears welling up in his eyes as he ran screaming in the other direction yelling for his mom.

I popped my head from in-between them and stuck my tongue out and blew a raspberry. "And don’t come back, invader!"

Estelle, why do you always have to get into trouble? Reed placed his small hand on my head and rubbed to mess with my pigtails.

Reed! I shook my head out of his grasp and tried to pat my hair down back in place, but it did no good. My curly hair was out of place and my pigtails were crooked. Reed smirked as he watched me struggle with my hair.

Well, I’m gonna go play on the monkey bars! Aiden tromped away, pretending nothing happened. They were always close. Wherever one was, the other was never far behind. In my kid mind, they were practically brothers.

You… you stood up for me? I looked back at the boy standing behind me. His whole body was covered in dirt, his blonde hair tossed in different directions.

Of course I did, I just couldn’t stand by and watch that invader hurt you!

Invader? He cocked his eyebrow and widened his questioning eyes.

She likes to think in alien, space, and galaxy terms sometimes. Even with Reed being the same age as I was, he was always smarter. He rubbed my head once again, ruffling my hair.

Ah, stop it, Reed!

He gave me one more tap on my head. See ya, kid. He waved and headed toward Aiden at the monkey bars.

I patted my head more. My pigtails, uurgh! I tried to fix them as much as I could until I noticed the boy still staring. What’s the matter, never seen pigtails before? I huffed.

He gave a loud hearty laugh.

I like you! I don’t think I ever want to leave your side! He held out his hand. I’m Kent. God, his teeth were so white! And big! He had big teeth! My brows rose in surprise at not only his teeth, but his statement. I didn’t really know what he meant by that… fully.

All right, an ally to help me protect the galaxy! I made a slight jump in the air. I’m Estelle! I shook his hand and smiled brightly.

****

C hapter 3

I stared at the grown man behind the wheel as the memory flickered in my head. I stared at his sneakers, watching them grow from a size five, eight, nine and a half, and what, eleven now? Boy had a growth spurt, I gave him that. Forget his feet, what about his height? My eyes slowly hovered to the top of his blonde hair that blew through the wind. What was he, six feet and some change?

Look at him, trying to be bad ass with his torn rugged jeans, but still trying to be the nice boy, with his white, collared shirt?

Oh puh-lease!

I stifled a laugh, his green eyes still on the road. I should’ve measured his chest width too; it grew as fast as he did. I hovered to his arms. Why don’t we include bicep size?

To think, he was once that little scrawny kid on the ground hunched in fear. Yet, there he was, the nearly grown teenage man with his head held high, and sickeningly noble .

Ever since that day on the playground, he kept to his word and he never left my side. He was practically glued to my hip whenever he had the chance, and when I was younger, I loved it! He gave me company in the whirl of imagination my young mind could come up with. Adventures of battling aliens and saving the universe and drifting into unknown galaxies. As I grew older I knew he was just entertaining me, but I appreciated everything he did with me. Even now, I have Star Wars posters hanging in my room. E.T., X-Files, Roswell, and other great well known sci-fi movies or shows that involved anything with space and aliens adorn the walls.

I guess you could say sci-fi was kinda my thing. Of course, I know now that invaders were really bullies that needed to be put in their place. Even as a child, I hated bullies and always hated seeing anyone put down for no reason. Kent felt the same way. After that day, he was stronger and more confident, standing up for other kids any way he could, which of course got us into trouble.

I remember the very first fight I got into, which also brought me Dana, my other long lost soulmate. I was fourteen and it was my first day in high school. I had to go in alone because Kent was busy and we had to come to school separately, which I knew he hated since we’d always entered school in a new school year together.

I looked up at the gray building sporting bold blue letters at the top reading, " Atlas High School." Four separate sets of stairs led into the front of the building. Parents were dropping off their kids at the front and buses were unloading the kids at the side.

All right, Estelle, you are going into an unknown planet, be aware of your surroundings and tread carefully, I whispered it just loud enough for myself to hear. Yes, even at fourteen , I still talked in sci-fi talk. It helped me cope and focus on situations better.

Especially new situations.

The day went by without a hitch. People kept to themselves as I kept to myself. Almost like they couldn’t even tell I was new. Fine by me!

It was lunch and I still hadn’t spotted Kent anywhere. Of course, this was high school, and much bigger than our middle school. There were teens everywhere; it was like watching a zoo gone wild with tons of noise, chatter, and things being thrown. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I stepped outside of the cafeteria, which made me breathe easier. There were still a good amount of teens, but more open air for me to breath. Suddenly, it was like my radar buzzed in my head. I heard a slight whimper to my left. I walked a few feet and turned around the corner of the building. There, against the wall shuddering in fear stood a girl about my age, her deep brown eyes welling up with tears, her brown wavy hair in a side swept ponytail being mangled by a hand tugging on it. Her loose, deep purple top had three buttons undone. Her mid-length black skirt was hiked up like a mini one. A teenage boy about a few inches taller than me, but triple my size, had her in his grasp. He looked like he was on a testosterone trip; his tight white shirt showed his rippling biceps and bulky shoulders. His legs looked extra bulky in skinny black jeans. His veiny arms and hands were pinning her small fragile ones against the wall behind her.

I felt it inside me: the rage and wrath I was about to unleash on someone taking advantage of another person.

A bully .

I dropped my book bag on the grass and rolled up the half sleeves of my pink tee even higher to get ready for battle. I took the pink hair tie off my wrist and threw my long curly black hair up in a ponytail, out of my vision so I could concentrate.

Yet another invader I have to put down, I mumbled to myself, but obviously not quiet enough, because it caught their attention. Her pleading brown eyes stared deep into mine. He finally turned his head toward me so I could look at my soon to be victim. He had hard brown eyes, very different from hers, to match his close-cropped brown hair. The one side of his lip curled into a sick grin, Well, well, we have someone who wants to partake, yes? Even his voice was like an evil alien.

Vincent… don’t… the woman begged, as he gripped her wrists harder.

Shut up! He shoved her further against the wall and let her fall to the ground, whimpering in pain.

So the evil alien had a name. Vincent .

My eyes were filled with vexation. I knew I wanted to lunge at him—do everything in my power to subdue him— yet, I wasn’t a ten year old on the playground anymore. I was fourteen and he was literally triple my size, probably older too. I had to be smarter. Because I knew if he were to get his hands on me, it would not end well.

Well, do you wanna play? He slowly stalked towards me, like a predator about to pounce.

I don’t think so! I side-stepped him and round house kicked him in the belly. PAIN! Pain! Leg throbbing pain! Ow… ow… ow… I hopped on one foot, grasping my leg that felt like I’d rammed it against a boulder. Luckily I did know how to defend myself thanks to having three men in my life. But his body almost broke my leg— it felt like it, at least.

I turned to face him again. He was slightly hunched from the effect of my kick, which should have brought any normal person down to their knees, but not this guy. He quickly rose back up and turned toward me. I side-stepped again and threw another kick at his back, along with a punch to his face, using gravity as my secret weapon.

His body lurched forward and his head swung to the side. My fist and leg were pulsing from the pain. I was slightly out of breath using all the force I could muster up into those hits. He again stood up straight and turned toward me.

"Oooh… feisty . I like that. Frankly, Dana over there— he nodded his chin over at the girl sitting against the wall, her arms wrapped around her traumatized body, —she doesn’t put up much of a fight anymore. His eyes fell on mine, and his lip curled up again. I need a new challenge."

I looked back at Dana, her head held down in shame. What has he done to her? As I was distracted, which all three guys told me never to do, his body slammed against me, throwing me a couple of feet away. My breath heaved as I gasped for air and quickly tried to get back on my feet, but it was too late. His heavy body was holding me down on the ground. His hands gripped my wrists like he was going to break them if I struggled.

I felt nauseous. 

This foreign invader was on me, pushing me to the ground, making me feel like my chest and back would be crushed any second. I tried to bounce my legs up, but he