2012: It Actually Happened

By Bob Dowd

What would you do if you knew the world would end? What would you be willing to pay if someone offered you protection and safety when that inevitable day came? What would you do if you were the one guaranteeing people's safety? Bob thought he could bank on people's superstitions that the ancient Mayan prediction of the world ending in 2012 would come true by offering them safety when the time came. But what if the world really did come to an end?! What would Bob do if he had to honour his end of the bargain? What would you do?

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 8, 2011
• ISBN: 9781483551357

Bob Dowd

Bob Dowd is currently a member of the RCMP and has been so for twenty-three years. He lives in Manitoba with his wife, Carol.

Book preview

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2010 by Bob Dowd

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Dowd, Bob, 1959-

2012 it actually happened / Bob Dowd.

ISBN 978-0-9810420-2-2

eISBN 978-1-4835513-5-7

I. Title. II. Title: Two thousand and twelve it actually happened.

PS8607.O98734T94 2010     C813’.6     C2010-907505-6

First Edition 2010

Printed in Canada

Dedicated to

Bob’s eyes opened and he stared at the ceiling for a moment. It was quiet and he was alone in his bed. Carol, his wife of 29 years, had probably been up for hours and was somewhere else in the house.

As he lay there, in no hurry to get up, he began to reflect. He was fifty and, as was the case lately, he was surprised that he woke up. He had not been kind to his body throughout the years. Those who knew him had not expected him to live this long. However it would seem that he had another day on earth, so why not make the best of it.

It was summer and the weather was quite warm. The sun was shining through the window making it easy to tell that it was going to be a beautiful day.

As he lay there staring at the ceiling, which needed to be painted by the way, he thought about money. It seemed there was never enough.

Of course, the bills were all paid and there were a number of recreational vehicles in the yard. Most people would envy the collection he had in what he called his toy department, but for him it was not enough. He wanted more. He wanted the type of freedom that can only come from hundreds of millions of dollars. He didn’t want to have to work for the rest of his life. He wanted to be able to fly around the world at a moment’s notice in his own plane. He wanted to be able to buy anything that caught his eye, and he wanted the same for his family. There had to be a way to make more money.

His job with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police gave him a secure living and would see him comfortably through his retirement years. Now he needed that great idea that would provide him with the more he so desperately wanted. He needed a plan. A plan! It should be easy. He had the usual grade twelve education, with some university courses. He was a member of Mensa. He had twenty years experience as a police officer. Why couldn’t he think of a plan?

When he thought back on his life he often wondered how he got here. He had come from a dark side of the tracks. He was the first of his clan to ever join the Mounties. The idea of someone from his family becoming a cop was such a novelty that his uncle had insisted on going to Regina to watch him graduate from Depot. His uncle had thought it would be cool to watch one of his clan jump the fence as he put it. Of course now that he was a police officer he would have to have a legal plan. He could not rob banks like some of his relatives had done. That thought made him smile.

He had an invention that he had hoped would do the trick. A new device for mooring boats was developed and patented. Currently it was with a company in the United States that had promised to get it licensed and manufactured. They had had the product for a year now and not much was happening. He made a mental note to call and put some pressure on them. But for the moment, he would need a new plan.

There had been a small amount of luck buying properties and stocks, however, neither produced the big money. Having said that, he realized that he had made tens of thousands of dollars doing both. Most people would be happy with that.

He sighed. He was never happy when it comes to money.

Then there was his grass business. It had also made him tens of thousands of dollars every year for the last several years. Though it was the main reason he had so many toys, it was not enough either.

Over the years he had managed to build up a considerable collection of play things. His mind ran around the yard. There was a hot tub, a motor home, two boats, a race car, an old convertible, two quads, three jet skis, and several snowmobiles, among other things. Damn, life was good.

Well, no big plan today. Might as well go to work.

He moved and immediately felt the pain in his back. OH K! Almost forgot about that. Damn, it hurt. Car crash, four years ago. Fortunately it was on the job and netted him a decent amount from Veteran’s Affairs. His partner had been driving during a pursuit. Apparently the bad guy they were chasing was a better driver than his partner, who lost control at a tick over one hundred and sixty kilometers per hour. The resulting crash into the ditch had busted some discs in his lower back. Now the pain was constant. If not for Crown Royal whiskey and some amazing physiotherapists, most days would be unmanageable.

And of course he couldn’t forget the shoulders. Both had been dislocated, at one time or another, and more than once. Just pushing himself to a sitting position hurt like hell. He groaned, but sat up any way.

At that point he was reminded of a saying his deceased father loved; If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

That made him smile again. It was so true. Then there was the broken elbow that was to be fixed next February. The doctor was going to surgically remove some pieces of bone that had healed poorly. The hoped for l result was that he would regain full motion of his right arm. He would just have to wait and see.

He was now staring at the elbow. Every time he felt the pain in his elbow, he could not help but smile more. The elbow was broken when he hit Mr. Pumpkinhead. A man with a large head and only three teeth, Mr. Pumpkinhead was trying to destroy the data master in the local detachment. The data master, a modern day breathalyzer, was worth about ten thousand dollars and there was no way Mr. Pumpkin-head was going to be allowed to break it. Not on Bob’s shift. The fight with Mr. Pumpkinhead was up close and personal, causing Bob to think it was a very good time to drill him in the side of the head with an elbow. After all, Will Smith made it look easy, right?

The resulting pop and extreme pain made it very clear that it was not a smart move. The elbow was broken and Mr. Pumpkinhead had not really been affected at all. He had just shuddered for a minute and continued to fight. Lucky for Bob, Veteran’s Affairs paid for that one too.

Now if the rest of the body could hold together for a few more minutes, he could get to the bathroom. Gotta pee, and now!

He wondered what the kids were doing right now. His oldest, Greg, was a cop too, working for the RCMP in Saskatchewan. Greg was not very big at only five feet, nine inches tall, nor was he very heavy, but he had a good attitude and lots of courage. He was doing well.

The youngest, Kevin, was a journeyman mechanic in the city. He was slightly taller than Greg and just as lanky. Kevin’s claim to fame was that he loved to fight. Apparently he was good at it too. Bob had never seen him fight; he had just heard the stories.

Kevin was married to Ashley and they had two daughters: Kiera and Lily. Ashley was the force that kept Kevin on the straight and narrow. While she was not as big as Kevin, she packed the attitude of ten people. The truth was, she had probably saved his life when she came along. He was a bit of a nut when he met her. Now he was on a short leash and not allowed any more scraps.

And then there were the grand kids; gotta love ‘em. The old saying was right. If we had known how much fun grand kids were going to be, we would have had them first.

Bob went out to the kitchen. There were pills to be taken, four to be exact. Why be worried about high blood pressure, a bad heart and high cholesterol when it could all be controlled by pills. Perfect. Hell, he might live forever at this rate. Ha!

He looked over at Duke, the world’s laziest guard dog, who was lying on his blanket in the dining room. At a hundred and twenty pounds he was just a throw rug with a pulse. He did nothing but lay there and watch people walk by. He was lazy without bounds. Duke once went twenty-six hours without peeing because it was cold outside. Not sure if that was a record or not but it had to be close.

Hey, a quick thought on how to save money! He could have Duke put down, skinned out and made into a pelt for the floor. The effect would be the same, only then he would not have to feed him. That made him laugh out loud. Silly dog. Oh well. Bob just gave him an ear rub and continued on with the day.

Carol came up from the basement where she had been working out. She was quite small in stature, at only five foot two, and quite slim. She worked out every day because she thought she was getting heavy. Women! They all think they are getting heavy.

They exchanged good mornings and continued on with their routines. That’s where you were after twenty-nine years of marriage.

A few days ago Bob had been to the West Edmonton Mall with his mother Helen, his sister Joan and Greg. Carol had stayed back in Saskatchewan with her mother Rose. The intention of the trip was to take Joan out. She had not had a vacation for a while and was certainly deserving of one.

While at the mall, the group had gone to the movies. One of the advertisements had been for the new movie 2012. It had foretold of upcoming doom. According to the Mayan calendar, the world was going to end on December 21st, 2012. He had talked with Greg about how gullible people were and how there must be a way to make money off that weakness. They had both laughed, partly at the people who really believed it would happen and partly because Bob was obsessed about making money again. Would it ever end?

The trip overall had gone well, they had done everything, seen everything and had then returned home without mishap.

He was now just staring at Duke. Maybe Duke knew more than the rest of us. Look at him. Life was good in the world of Duke.

Suddenly, He straightened up.

Holy crap!!!

That was it!!!

He turned and almost fell over Duke. Duke almost noticed.

His idea took him back to making money. There would be tons of people who believed the world was coming to an end. They would need protection. We could offer them that. Bob and Greg were police officers. Kevin could fix anything and make it work, even if it didn’t want to. Both Carol and Ashley were able bodied and smart, and they could both grow gardens. They all had outdoor experience. Bob and Kevin were hunters. Greg had his commercial pilots’ license. Carol could handle books and numbers.

Wow!

Who would NOT hire them?

People would need to be taken out of harms way, into the back country where there was a better chance of survival. Of course Bob knew the world was not going to end, but that did not mean he could not charge people for the peace of mind that came with knowing you would be looked after by professionals.

He would run the idea by Carol. She had a way of looking at things and pointing out the obvious.

Bob headed down the hall to Carol’s office. It used to be a spare bedroom, but now it was her office, at least for the next three or four years until they retired.

Bob ran his idea past Carol who immediately rolled her eyes. And exactly how are you going to take these people into the woods and keep them alive? she asked, knowing that there was always more to the story.

That’s the best part. He was grinning like a fool now. The paperwork will state that the clients pay a set fee up front. If the world ends, they will be taken care of. But, Bob continued, if it does not end, then the contract will state that I get to keep the money.

She was still looking at him like she did with her sons when they had goofy ideas. And how much are you going to charge? Now she was just humoring him to see where this went.

Five thousand dollars per person. If I can get one thousand people, that will be five million dollars. When the world doesn’t end, it’s all mine. Damn I am smart! He could not contain himself now. He felt this was the one idea that could make the big bucks, especially after that movie comes out. People were going to panic and they would be beating down the door, just throwing money at him.

Carol was trying to bring some reasoning to the conversation. How can you sell this idea to a thousand people? She asked, not really sure she wanted to hear the answer. They will know that you cannot take that many people into the bush. It would not be possible.

No, no, you are not thinking about this right. No one will know about the others. I could sell this to thousands and no one will realize that there are too many. Hell, I could actually sell this to millions. The possibilities are endless. I could even sell different levels. The more you pay, the better the care. Bob was almost smug now.

And what would the start up costs be? she asked. It would seem that Carol was trying to take the fun out of this by overthinking it.

He had the idea; the rest was just small stuff. Not much: an internet site web page, some lawyer costs to draw up the contract, and a bank account big enough to hold all the money. He smiled at the last part. He knew Carol was going to bring him back to earth and that was why he loved her. She was his rock, a bit of a nagging rock sometimes, but his rock all the same. He could not survive without her.

He could see the wheels turning. She was about to say something when he cut her off. I’m not sure I’m going to let you in on this, Bob said coyly. You don’t seem to appreciate my brilliance. Maybe I will do it all myself.

But, she interjected, I thought you needed me to grow the garden. Now Carol was smiling. She knew there was not going to be a garden because the world was not going to end; she was just entertaining herself now.

And just how are you going to sell different levels? If we are starving and have to eat some of the clients, will the ones that did not pay enough go first?

Bob was laughing too hard to respond.

How do you have a first class part of the plan if everyone is struggling to get to high ground?

Carol continued to her next question. What about old people? Fat people? People with disabilities? How are you going to deal with them?

Now Bob was just looking at her like she had bumped her head. Okay, you are not playing nice. At no time will we have to worry about any of that, because the world is not ending. Good grief, if you would have had this much foresight 30 years ago, you would not have married me. Now all of a sudden you have all this vision?

They both smiled and it ended there.

Bob wandered back into the kitchen. He stopped. Had Duke moved? Nope, it was just an illusion. However, it did appear that he was fatter, even though he had not eaten anything.

Hmm, maybe he should put in the plans that Carol had to carry Duke to safety. That might keep her from picking on his idea so much.

Bob went into the shower where he spent the next fifteen minutes working on the details of his plan while he cleaned his chubby body. I’m not eighteen any more, that’s for sure, he told himself as he pinched his love handles.

Back to the plan.

All he needed was a web page that would catch the attention of the spooked masses. There would be millions out there that do not know how to look after themselves in a bad situation. Twenty years as a police officer had taught him that. How many people had he saved over the years? Some he had even saved from themselves. Most he did not even know.

He had given a lot to society, risking his life and protecting people, some of whom did not deserve it and many that did not appreciate it. Now he wanted something back. Money. Lots of money.

He wondered if the idea can be right if you had to justify it. Of course it was, as long as he got rich, right? It was not like he was robbing people. He was offering a service, and if it turned out that they did not need the service, then he kept the money.

Okay, next problem. When the world does not end and all these people want their money back, what then. Details, details! That could all be worked out later. Let’s get the money now.

The shower was done and the idea was getting better all time.

Getting dressed was another chore. Too many injuries. He could get Carol to help, but she would just nag at him, saying that the injuries were his own fault. Why should she break her back helping him put his socks on just because he was a nut in his younger years? In his mind he tried to convince himself that he was not a nut, but then he remembered taking a 1950 Chevrolet off a motorcycle ramp when he was fifteen. Maybe that WAS a little nutty. Ha, he was smiling again. Life could not be too bad if you are smiling so much.

He hit the command start and listened for the van to begin running. Bob liked his job as a Collision Analyst. He was in charge of investigating all the serious vehicle collisions on his side of the province. It was a good position to be in since his injuries restricted him considerably. There was no way that he could do front line policing any more. The back specialist had told him that his next fight could put him in a wheel chair. Do not want that!

After wandering aimlessly around the kitchen for a few minutes, Bob realized that he was not hungry and that he might as well go to work. It was early but, what the hell, the RCMP had been good to him. It never hurt to give some time back.

The work day was typical and boring, so Bob did what he did best-day dream. Maybe he was just a human form of Duke.

Anyway, details would have to be worked out. When people went to the website they would want to see how they would be taken care of once they had paid their money and the world ended. Actually that was kind of ironic, if the world really ended, then everyone would be dead, including Bob. No one would need to be taken care of and Bob would not be around to spend his money.

Stupid logic! No more thinking intelligently. Must think like the masses and hope that not too many of them figure out what The End of the World really meant.

All right, back to work. He was working on a report of a poor fellow who lost control of his vehicle and rolled it into the ditch. No seat belt on meant he popped out of the cab and the vehicle rolled on him. A six thousand pound truck on a two hundred pound man meant a new kind of dead. Oh well, at least the seat belt did not suffer any wear and tear. It was just like new. Will people ever learn? Bob could answer that himself. Probably not.

The day flew by. It always did when one enjoyed their work as Bob did. It was a day filled with physics and math. Who would not like that? He was lucky that he had a knack for it. Without this Collision Analysis job, it would be difficult to say where he would be after his accident. The RCMP would have helped him; he had no doubt about that. They would have found him a place to work that accommodated his injuries, but where would that have been? It probably would not have been where he was now. There was nothing that an injured cop could do in a small town like this. Yes, it was very fortunate that he was comfortable with math and physics. It worked out real sweet.

But then it was always like that for Bob. He always landed on his feet, no matter what. Over the years, just when things looked like they were crashing in his life, something would come along and everything would be all right. Gotta love the Luck of the Irish.

His mind wandered again, this time to the kids. They were coming out to the lake tonight, so he hurried home to help Carol get everything ready. As always, Bob and Carol supplied all the food, booze, toys and gas. The kids brought only themselves and the grandkids. And of course, Bob and Carol would not have it any other way. They had been through the lean years when there was no money. Now that they were comfortable they did not mind covering for the kids, who never seemed to have any money. One day the kids would be in the same position and would have to pay for everything. Ha. Payback was a bitch.

Bob arrived at home and Carol was already loading the van. There would be five adults and two children that would need to be fed for two days. So, using Carol’s calculations, that meant they would pack enough for eleven adults, four kids, making sure she could keep them alive for a week. Man- Bob would like to see her food calculator. She must be hitting the keys with her eyes closed. Another big sigh. Using one of his many favorite sayings, Bob realized that he could argue with Carol for an hour and give up, or he could give up now –He just had to pick one!

So without a word of complaint, he continued to help loading the van.

Once loaded they were ready to leave. There was, of course, the usual discussion over who was going to help Duke into the back of the van. It was only a jump of about sixteen inches, but Ol’ Lard Butt could not make it without help. Bob waited for him to get his front paws up on the ledge before he grabbed his rump and tossed him in. Of course Duke turned back at him with that look of tell me again why I can’t ride in the front?

The drive to the lake took a little over an hour. The talk was small and as usual revolved around the kids, sex, (or a lack of,) and money.

Of course, the plan was discussed at length. Carol was concerned about the moral issues. She seemed to think it was bordering on theft. Bob assured her that the people would be giving their money freely. He added, Even though you and I both know that the world is not going to end, the people giving me the money do not. They actually believe what they saw in that show, 2012. What they are really buying is peace of mind.

He continued, It is now August 14th, 2009. The Mayan calendar states that the world will end on December 21st, 2012. That is more than three years away. Actually it is 1224 days. (He did this in his head -it was that Mensa thing that he could not help but do.) Anyway, that is a long time for these people to be worrying about the horrible and ugly death they will be experiencing. Imagine how much better they will feel knowing that they will be well taken care of by two police officers, a mechanic, and two nagging women -if I allow you girls to come along, that is.

Carol did not think the last part was all that funny.

Bob continued with his thoughts as though he had not said it. The quality of life for these people for more than three years will be so improved that perhaps they should be charged more. Can you imagine forty months of constant worrying, sleepless nights, being unable to eat? It may even cause some people to go insane.

There could be suicides.

Wide spread panic.

Wow!

Bob’s mind was racing and he continued to wonder out loud. Maybe he should ask for a government grant. Ha. Now, THAT made Carol laugh.

She brought him back to earth. You are still going to have to deal with these people when the earth doesn’t blow up. What then?

He gave his usual response. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now I need to figure out how to spend all the money. They both laughed.

They arrived at the lake. It was a nice piece of property. Not very glamorous, but at least it was on the water. The lake itself was on the south side, the marina was on the north, and the channel connecting the two was to the east. Basically it was a peninsula.

There was no cottage yet. That will come when there was more money. Right now the motor home would have to do.

There was a storage shed beside the motor home and a gazebo close to the water. With water, sewer and electricity hooked up, it was a pretty good place to spend the weekend.

The toys sat nearby: three jet skis and a jet boat.

Of course one of the jet skis was the original kind, where you had to stand up and lift the handle. Kevin called it The Green Fury, and true to its name it had tried to kill Bob. After hitting the water hard for the second time, he swore to never ride it again.

The other two were the normal kind; you sit on them, and just hit the throttle. Nothing to worry about and little effort needed to drive them. Almost fool proof. You would have to be driving like a real nut to dump one of those over. Perfect for a broken old man. And of course Bob’s jet ski was the faster one. Carol’s was a little nicer though.

Carol unloaded the van while Bob cut the grass. It always seemed like there was more than the last time but it did not really take that long to cut.

He was just finished and putting the lawn tractor away when Kevin, Ashley, Kiera and Lily showed up. Kiera was seven and Lily was two and a half years of age. Both were sweet little girls. Kiera was quiet, Lily could be a bit of a nut.

The kids were excited as they always were when they came to the lake. Both girls ran down to the water and immediately began to search for frogs. Poor little frogs. They would have to spend most of the weekend in a small pail being stared at by two girly girls, who shrieked every time one of the poor things tried to escape. Oh well, glad I’m not a frog!’, Bob laments.

Kevin was busy trying to set up the tent trailer. The motor home was no longer big enough for every one so Ashley and Kevin used a tent trailer that Ashley had borrowed from her mother.

The girls still slept in the motor home with Grandma and Grandpa. Bob did not mind. Grandkids were great, or as he put it when he was drinking: kids are like farts, the only ones you can stand are your own. That went for grandkids too.

Ashley was emptying their truck. Some days it seemed that it would be easier to put a hitch on their house and pull it down to the lake. The crap coming out of that truck was endless. She must use Carol’s food calculator when she packed, only she used it for things to bring for the girls.

And of course there was their crazy dog Casey. She bounded out of the back like a coiled spring and raced around the property as though she was seeing it for the first time. Duke stood in one spot like a deer in the headlights and waited for her to run by. When she did, he bit at her. He might as well have been biting at the moon as she was gone long before his mouth closed. When Duke tired of this, he started to chase Casey. It was funny enough that people would stand and watch for a few minutes. He ran as fast as he could, which in dog speed was one seventh as fast as Bob could walk, and at no time did he get within ten yards of her.

In a matter of minutes Duke was exhausted, so he wandered over to the lake, waded out far enough and collapsed. At this point, Casey ran out into the water and up to Duke, obviously wanting to know what he was up to.

He promptly bit her, now that she was close. In his mind he probably thought he had won. Bob smiled.

Maybe the dogs had it right. Run around like an idiot, eat whatever was placed in front of you and sleep the rest of the time. Nah, it couldn’t be that easy, one must have money to be happy. He was convinced of that.

This thought brought him back to the plan.

He could not believe that he had forgotten about his 2012 idea for so long. Must get back to business. He wanted to run it by his boys and Ashley. As soon as Greg arrived, he would sit down and hash out the details. The kids always liked the old man’s ideas, especially when it made money. Money meant toys and no one liked toys better than Greg and Kevin. Of course Ashley would have her opinions. She would take Carol’s side on everything and the debate would be on.

The trailer was set up, everything was unloaded and it was time to relax.

Kevin could not get to the whiskey fast enough. He loved his drink just like his Dad. Greg on the other hand had never touched alcohol.

It always amazed Bob to see how differently his sons had turned out, in some ways at least. In other ways, they were way too much like him. Carol liked to point that out all too often.

Greg arrived in his new Shelby. Of course he revved it up as he pulled in. Cool car. He was living the dream. Being single and having a ridiculously low mortgage, (Bob always bugged him that he could pick bottles and pay his mortgage,) Greg could afford the car that everyone wants. A 2009 Shelby GT500. Crazy fast and cool as Hell.

He unloaded his one duffle bag of clothes and he was settled into a chair quicker than one could say Wow is he ever single.

Bob wanted to wait