Life After Natalie

By Valenciya Lyons

Cami has survived a suicide attempt, miscarriage, and heartbreak. She’s slowly starting to get her life back on track. But as hard as she tries to move on, she can’t. A terrible secret surfaces that nearly pushes her to the edge and her relationship with her younger sister is in shambles. As if things couldn’t get any worse, the school bully, Kelly Davidson, is now targeting her sister. With her back against the wall, Cami makes a decision that even she didn’t see coming.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Valenciya Lyons
• Release date: Dec 5, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311651389

Valenciya Lyons

The Mississippi native’s love for writing began around the age of ten. During this time, she wrote short stories and poems and was encouraged by her grandmother to pursue a career in writing. She attended The University of Southern Mississippi and received a Bachelor of Science in Fashion Merchandising and Apparel Studies. She currently resides in Meridian, Mississippi. When she’s not writing, she spends her time reading fashion magazines, shopping, and hanging out with friends and family.

Book preview

Chapter 1

He had to tell her the words that no parent ever wanted to hear.

River walked to the other side of the hospital bed and held her hand. His eyes avoided hers for fear that she would somehow read his mind. When he finally managed to look into her eyes, he saw sadness there. Then suddenly he began to feel ashamed of all the heartache he had caused her. He didn’t want to break up with her in person, so he cowardly sent a text that said: IT’S OVER; he had broken her heart by dumping her for his ex-girlfriend, Adriana; he avoided her when she’d needed him the most. Now he was about to break her heart again.

He began to think that maybe he deserved to lose their baby. Maybe this was his payback for everything bad that he had ever done. No, that couldn’t be it—could it? No, of course not. He had done some pretty messed up things in his life time, but no one—not even him—deserved to lose a child.

The baby’s dead. You…you had a miscarriage, he told her, in a low voice that was loud enough for her to hear. Cami didn’t want to believe what she’d just been told by her ex-boyfriend. He had to be lying. He just had to be, but the sad, solemn look on his face told her otherwise.

Once she realized that he was telling that the truth, she let out the most terrifying, bloodcurdling scream that he had ever heard. He tried to comfort her, but she pushed him away and told everyone to leave the room.

Baby! I want my baby! she screamed repeatedly.

Cami quickly brought herself to a seated position in bed. It was just a dream—a dream that she had been having nearly every night since the miscarriage.

The now seventeen-year-old had been through a lot in the past year—probably more than the average teenager. One of the things she had yet to let go of was her anguish over losing Natalie. She wanted to hold her daughter so badly, and the pain of losing her was almost too much to bear that Cami almost died. She had tried to commit suicide by drowning herself in the Caldarelli’s swimming pool, but she hadn’t planned on surviving. Skylar’s father, Vincent, had performed CPR and saved her life.

Her younger sister, Kaci was so overwhelmed with joy when she saw her big sister open her eyes. She threw her arms around Cami’s neck and began to cry harder than she ever had before. Kaci later questioned her as to why she had gotten into the swimming pool, and the only excuse that she could muster was that she wanted to teach herself how to swim. Kaci didn’t believe her but didn’t vocalize it in front of the Caldarellis’. She was just happy that her big sister was alive.

Following her suicide attempt, she had to attend weekly therapy sessions and had been prescribed antidepressant medication by her psychiatrist, Dr. Elizabeth Frances. Although she felt more relaxed and at ease after taking the medication, the truth was she actually hated taking it. All the horror stories that she’d heard in group therapy from young women who had become addicted to antidepressants was enough to scare her into not wanting to take the pills. She wanted to get better, but she wanted to do it without the medication. She just didn’t want to risk becoming addicted to them.

A few weeks after she began taking them, she stopped and would discard the pills in a Ziploc bag that she kept hidden in her bedroom closet. Then, when it was time for the trash to be disposed of, she would put the Ziploc bag inside a department store’s bag and tie it up before putting it inside the trash bag. So far her mother, Diane, and Kaci hadn’t detected anything, and that’s the way she wanted to keep it.

She flipped on her lamp and checked the time on her clock: 4:50 a.m. Although she loved her pink alarm clock, the red numbers reminded her of the blood she saw trickling down her leg when she had the miscarriage so she unplugged it.

She sighed to herself and laid her head down on her soft, plush, decorative, pink pillow.

Her summer vacation would be over soon, and she felt as if she’d let it pass her by. She would usually do something fun and exciting each summer, but this summer she only left the house when she had to attend a scheduled meeting with Dr. Frances. When she didn’t have to meet up with her, she’d eat breakfast, fake taking her medication, and sleep for the rest of the day.

At times she found herself feeling lonely because there was hardly anyone home for her to talk to. Although she and Kaci lived in the same house, they hadn’t been spending much time together because Kaci had been working as a waitress at Caldarelli’s Cuisine. Her mother would drop by the house between jobs to check on her, but they usually didn’t talk because Cami would be asleep by the time she arrived home from work. Surprisingly enough (especially since they’re best friends) Cami and Marissa hadn’t spent any time with each other all summer. Marissa had texted her a few times but she never responded.

After the miscarriage, Marissa convinced her to hang out with her at the mall. Then she confessed to her that she use to party with the school bully, Leena Davidson, and this hurt Cami because she considered Leena to be the reason why her daughter, Natalie, was no longer alive.

She just couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out why Marissa would’ve partied with Leena and never tell her about it. She knew that Marissa use to attend parties, but she never would’ve guessed that she was attending Leena’s parties. On the other hand, she really missed her, but she still felt as if she had deceived her by partying with Leena—even though this happened before the miscarriage.

She reached over her bed to something that was sitting on top of her nightstand. It was the journal that her mother had given her. She’d only had the journal for a few weeks and hadn’t written anything inside but she somehow felt drawn to it. She opened it to the first page, grabbed a pen, and began to write:

July 25, 2013

Dear Marissa,

I miss you so much. You and I don’t talk anymore, but I guess it’s partly my fault for not calling or texting you much this summer. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you partied with Leena and never told me about it. I know that this happened before I lost Natalie but it still hurts.

I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist. I’m supposed to be taking my medication but I stopped because I don’t want to become dependent on them. I want to get over what Leena did to me but I feel like I…just can’t let go of the past. It’s all I think about.

It would be really great if I could talk to you, but I don’t know if this is the right time for us to talk. As you already know, my timing is never right for anything.

Chapter 2

The July heat was scorching outside. At ninety-nine degrees, the sidewalks were hot enough to fry an egg and sizzle bacon.

The temperature inside the Alderson household was cool and comfortable for Cami who was still dressed in her pajamas—even though it was after noon.

Sitting across from her on her bed sporting a newly dyed brown up-do was Marissa Benson. Cami had called her a few hours after she wrote her first journal entry and invited her over.

Seeing Marissa felt a little weird because she hadn’t seen her since their mall excursion over two months ago. This was the longest time either of them had ever gone without seeing each other. She could see Marissa out the corner of her eye sitting quietly with her hands resting in her lap while she stared out the window. They hadn’t spoken since she’d arrived, but Cami found comfort in her just being there.

She smiled as she thought about all of the fun times they’d had together. At Marissa’s tenth birthday party, she pushed Cami into the pool which angered her because the water ruined her curly hairstyle. On another occasion, while she was sleeping over at Marissa’s, Marissa used face paint to make herself look like a clown. After her transformation was complete, she tip-toed to her room, flipped on the light switch, and stood over Cami. It didn’t take long for the young girl to wake up to the eerie sight of a clown in her face, and she was so frightened that she screamed and shook in terror at the sight of the ugly clown face that was in front of her. Marissa’s mother, Christina ran to her only daughter’s room terrified that something dreadful had happened. She was relieved yet less than pleased once she realized what was going on. One disapproving look from her mother told Marissa that it was time to wash her face, so she ran to the bathroom while her mother did her best to assure Cami that there weren’t any clowns around but Cami wasn’t so sure—as she slept with the lamp on for the rest of the night.

Marissa had been watching Cami intently now. She had been smiling for several minutes and Marissa was curious as to why. Why are you so smiley today? she asked, breaking the ice.

Just thinking about the good times, Cami answered, while still staring out the window.

Like…

She turned to face Marissa and brought herself to a seating position with a smile still on her face. Like the time you pushed me into the pool at your tenth birthday party.

Marissa chuckled. Oh, yeah. I remember that. You were so angry with me.

Thankfully, I had clothes at your house from sleeping over so often.

Marissa gasped once she’d remembered one of her all-time favorite pranks she’d pulled on her. Do you remember the time I scared you with my clown face?

Cami rolled her eyes. That was the worst. I was so scared I had to sleep with the lamp on for the rest of the night.

You didn’t speak to me for two days.

Cami’s smile faded. It’s better than us not speaking in over two months.

Marissa’s face turned from somewhat happy to cold. Cami never responded to any of her texts, and when she tried to visit her, Kaci told her that she didn’t want to see anyone. Like Cami, she didn’t have an easy summer either. Her mother had fallen behind on the mortgage payments, and Marissa had been unsuccessful at finding a part-time job. (However, her mother was unaware that she knew about any of this.) She was deeply worried that her mother and she would soon be homeless, and the one person she wanted to confide in wouldn’t even talk to her.

Cami sighed deeply. She wasn’t surprised to see the anger in Marissa’s eyes. She hadn’t spoken to her all summer so it only made sense that she would be angry. How has your summer been so far?

Well, Marissa began, you haven’t spoken to me all summer so why does it matter now?

Cami licked her dry lips and wished that she had a glass of ice-cold water for her dry throat but pressed on anyhow. Because I…I… She knew what she had to do, and it was probably something that Marissa wanted to hear. I’m sorry.

Marissa frowned and crossed her arms. Do you think that an apology is supposed to fix things, huh? She stood up and walked towards the door. Where were you when I needed someone to talk to?

Cami didn’t respond but her eyes never left Marissa’s. I was in group therapy and talking to my psychiatrist because I tried to kill myself. I didn’t even think that I could go on living knowing that Leena killed my daughter and got away with it.

Marissa put one of her hands on her mouth. She’d heard around town about the near fatal incident that almost claimed Cami’s life. Cami was more than her best friend. She was like a sister to her and losing her would’ve been as hard as losing her father. That was one of the hardest things that she had ever been through in her life, and she didn’t think she could take saying goodbye to someone else she loved.

Without saying a word, she made her way to Cami and hugged her for the longest time. They both shed tears and each managed a small chuckle once they saw the other’s face. The two best friends loved each other, and it was something that they didn’t even have to vocalize because they both knew it.

But Marissa was still worried about Cami.

Once they’d both seated themselves on her bed, she didn’t waste any time asking what she really wanted to know. Why didn’t you ever text me back? she inquired, as she sat with her chin on her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs.

Cami looked down at her hands. She knew this question was coming. Because, she began, as she forced herself to make eye contact with Marissa, I felt defeated because I lost Natalie and I just…didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Marissa put a reassuring hand on Cami’s shoulder and watched as Cami swallowed back more tears. If Leena would’ve stayed away, this never would’ve happened, Cami told her.

All of this keeps coming back to Leena…

Because it’s her fault!

Cami, I’m not saying it’s not but…

It’s her fault.

She got off the bed once again and stood in front of Cami. Have you forgiven her?

No! Cami exclaimed. I want to but… She crossed her arms before slowly uncrossing them again. It’s so hard, she uttered. I want to forget that she’s the reason why Natalie’s dead. I want to forget that she almost killed my sister but I can’t forget it. I think about it all the time.

The only reason I asked is because, in terms of learning how to forgive someone, I’ve been where you’re headed. Don’t let her win; don’t let this eat away at you until there’s nothing left.

So what should I do?

Do what Natalie would’ve wanted you to do: Continue living your life. Don’t give it up because of Leena. Besides, once she’s convicted she’ll probably spend the rest of her life in prison.

Cami could feel herself become tense at the sheer mention of Leena’s name but she knew that Marissa was right. Leena was being held in the county jail on a one million dollar bond for two counts of attempted murder and a three million dollar bond for one count of murder: one count for Cami and Skylar and Cami’s unborn child (the murder charge). Okay.

So are you ever going to answer my question about how your summer was? Cami asked, changing the conversation.

Marissa sighed. If she was going to get through another conversation with Cami, she was going to need a cold glass of lemonade.

Chapter 3

The day Cami nearly succeeded at her suicide attempt was the worst day of Kaci’s life. Cami was the only sister that she had, and she couldn’t imagine spending the rest of her life without her. She’d never forget the day that she’d found her in the swimming pool.

She’d tried many times to forget what she had seen with her own two eyes, but as hard as she tried, she just couldn’t.

Even as she lay asleep, she could still see Cami in the pool—her body sinking to the bottom. After she’d screamed, her best friend, Skylar, and his parents, Mariah and Vincent Caldarelli, rushed onto the scene. She remembered watching as his father frantically jumped into the pool, pulled Cami to safety, and performed CPR on her. She prayed that her sister would open her eyes, and when she did, Kaci was right by her side.

A few months had passed since the incident occurred, but Kaci still worried about her.

After she turned sixteen in May, she got her driver’s license and a full-time job waitressing at Skylar’s parents’ restaurant, Caldarelli Cuisine. It was her first job, and she enjoyed working because it not only gave her a chance to make her own money but a chance to meet new people and see Skylar. But during the day, she still found herself thinking about Cami. When she’d return home from work, Cami would usually be asleep. Every night she would peep into her room just to make sure that she was okay.

Once she was in the comfort of her own bed, she would flip through various gossip and fashion magazines. What she loved the most about the magazines was the clothing that filled the pages and the tips on how to mix and match different garment pieces. Her junior year was just a few weeks away and on top of that she was also going to be taking a fashion introductory course, so she wanted to be as educated on the topic as she possibly could.

What are you reading? Skylar asked her one day, referring to the magazine, as he took a seat in front of her. Since he’d fully