Lost in Time: A New Generation

By Kristin Ruggaber

Author, Kristin Ruggaber does it again! LOST IN TIME, the follow up to Legend of the Lamp, continues to uncover the exploits of Jessie Dillman and her family. In this series of ‘time travel’ books, book one sends a young Jessie to live on a ranch owned by her father’s friends who have very old fashioned ideas. Jessie eventually finds herself back in time – back to 1868 - by way of an old cave. By the end of the book, Jessie is back on the Dillman ranch in 2012, and pregnant. Lost in Time picks up where Legend of the Lamp left off..

As we follow Jessie’s daughter, Jacqui, from being a baby through the age of 19, we learn Jacqui, who suffers from a serious illness and throws tantrums at the sight of her mother, has a habit of getting her own way. After Jacqui’s mistreatment of her and after too many ‘misunderstandings’ with Jack, Jessie eventually finds herself in the old west again, this time of her own choosing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Nov 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781595948793

Book preview

Lost in Time

A New Generation

Kristin Ruggaber

WingSpan Press

Copyright © 2014 by Kristin Ruggaber

All rights reserved.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, settings and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, settings or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in reviews.

Published in the United States and the United Kingdom

by WingSpan Press, Livermore, CA

The WingSpan name, logo and colophon are the trademarks of WingSpan Publishing.

ISBN 978-1-59594-544-0 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-1-59594-879-3 (ebk.)

First edition 2014

Printed in the United States of America

www.wingspanpress.com

Library of Congress Control Number 2014956527

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

This book is dedicated to my husband:

Michael Ruggaber

And to my grandchildren:

Mackenna Howard

Carson Chamness

Shelby Ruggaber

A special THANK YOU to:

Ralph Burns: Paiute Cultural Center, Pyramid Lake, Nevada

Michelle & Kip Sam: Paiute Recipes

Dixie Randall: Historical Consultant

Greg Grant: Virginia City Outlaws

Richard St. Clair: Washoe Club

Janice Oberding: Nevada Author

Cheryl Dubuque: Proof Reader, General Consultant and

My Personal Guardian Angel

Paul Yandre and Jeff Teigs

DJ Kiltz, for loaning me his name

And To the Good People of Virginia City, Nevada

Lost in Time

A New Generation

PROLOGUE

The Journal of Jessie St. James-Dillman

April 2012

I remember when I first arrived here in Dillman, Nevada. My father had exiled me here, to what seemed to me like the middle of nowhere. He’d hoped to break off my engagement to that good for nothing, Jim Sullivan. Now, after all that has happened to me, it seems like a lifetime ago. When I first arrived here, Miss Ellie suggested I write a journal about my stay here on the ranch. I told her, in my then ‘oh so dramatic way’ that it would have to be a tragedy! Little did I know back then how true that statement would be.

I had done a very good job convincing myself that the life I thought I experienced back in 1868 was nothing more than a dream. That was until today, when the reality of my situation came crashing down on me. I know now that what I experienced was no dream. It was not a fantasy that my mind invented while I lay unconscious in the abandoned mineshaft. I remember clearly crawling through the air shaft and how just when I thought I would finally be free, it collapsed on me, pinning me half inside the mine. It was NOT a dream, as my present husband, Jack and his family would like me to believe. NO! The man that rescued me, the man I fell in love with, the man I later married was indeed a real person...the first John Dillman.

I can now say that with surety, as today I learned that I am pregnant. A rather unsettling discovery, especially since I have not as yet consummated my marriage to Jack Dillman, the seventh great grandson of my beloved first husband, John.

I’ve been so terribly sick since our wedding day that I’ve put Jack’s advances off for over two weeks now. I have to get control over my morning... well, all day sickness, and set about seducing my husband. I just can’t bear for him to find out that this child isn’t his. It would break his heart. Even if I told him that the real father was his own ancestor, John Dillman. I know he would always harbor doubts about such a seemingly impossible confession. What if he didn’t believe me? Why SHOULD he believe me? What if it ended our marriage? I just can’t take that chance. I love him too much. No, tonight I will make sure he has no reason to believe this child belongs to anyone but him!

Journal of Jessie St. James-Dillman

May 2012

Today I told Jack that we are expecting a baby and was thrilled! I think I’ve managed to pull off my paternity deception. Thank goodness for the new pregnancy tests that allows you to test early. Jack was so excited about the baby that he never questioned the time of conception.

I suppose this baby will be a boy. The oldest Dillman child has been a male for the past seven generations. He’ll have to be called John...they have all been named John. Even my husband Jack is just using that as a nickname. His real name is John, too. You’d think someone over all those generations would have had the courage to strike out and come up with a new name, but who am I to change the status quo? Maybe I can just call him Jay for short? With his grandpa also named John, it might be too confusing around here unless we come up with another option.

The Journal of Jessie St. James-Dillman

July 2012

I felt our son move for the first time today. Still no confirmation that we are actually having a boy, but what else COULD it be? It’s still a Dillman, so that’s a given.

I’m beginning to show now. We tried to keep the baby a secret, but Ellie never misses a trick. She noticed me gaining a little weight, my lack of appetite and general listlessness. I guess that, along with the way Jack dotes on me, made it pretty easy to figure out.

Jack is an amazing husband. He devotes every day to making sure I’m happy. If it weren’t for the memories of my husband John, I’m sure our lives would be idyllic. If ONLY I could forget John! Being here in the present with his grandson is wonderful in many ways...but my heart still longs to be in the past with John. I think of him almost constantly now. Jack thinks it’s just the pregnancy that has me distracted all the time. I’m so glad he will never know that I am thinking of another man. I keep this journal locked safely away whenever Jack is in the house. Just the thought of him ever finding it makes me ill.

The Journal of Jessie St. James-Dillman

November 2012

Almost Thanksgiving. Where has the year gone? I had my second ultrasound today and again I told the technician that since I already know what the baby’s sex will be, there was no need to tell me. He seemed surprised at that. Even if I were to have a girl, she will have to be dressed as a boy. Ellie threw me a shower last week and every single outfit the baby received was blue!

I must admit that blue is the right color for this pregnancy. Not only will my baby be a boy, but that’s exactly how I have felt ever since I learned he was coming. I’m not at all unhappy about the baby! No. It’s just so sad that he will never know his real father. Jack will be a wonderful dad. I’m sure of that. But I will always know in my heart who his real father is...and I can’t tell a living soul. In spite of my love for Jack, I still can’t get over missing John. Oh how I wish he could be here to see his first son born! Those thoughts never leave my mind. I even find myself dreaming about him at night. I keep wishing I could be with him one last time...if only for a day. I’ve even thought of going back into the mine to try to find my way into the tunnel that once took me back through time and into the arms of the man I love and miss so much. But, I’m as big as a house these days and I dare say I’d probably get stuck somewhere in there and end up killing both my son and me in a hare brained attempt to capture what I know can only remain a memory...a memory so dear to my heart that I find myself crying night and day. Thankfully, Ellie explained away my ‘spells’ as she puts them, to both Jack and his dad, Ellie’s husband, John Dillman by saying that my crying is just my hormones acting up. God bless Ellie!

Journal of Jessie St. James-Dillman

December 25, 2012

Ho! Ho! Ho!

I’ve never been so miserable in my entire life!

I HATE being pregnant. I hate not being able to wear my skinny jeans. I hate my swollen feet and ankles. I hate being looked at like I’m about to pop at any minute. But most of all, this year, I HATE Christmas!

For a Christmas present, John and Ellie have offered to move back in with us to take care of me and baby John (the umpteenth) when he finally arrives. I reluctantly accepted. Logically, I know it’s a wonderful offer, but between my depression over missing John from 1868 and Jack treating me like an invalid, I have been in a pretty miserable frame of mind lately. Even so, Jack has never lost patience with me or shown even the slightest irritation with my moodiness and crying jags. In fact, this morning he surprised me with what I first THOUGHT was a most wonderful Christmas gift. It is an antique watch on a gold chain that Jack told me belonged to the first Mrs. Dillman. I was thrilled...until tonight when I really began to think about it. I suddenly realized that I didn’t recognize it.

I have thought and thought, but the last thing I can remember of my time in 1868 is of John being cornered by that rogue bison and me standing on the porch, waving that huge rifle and finally shooting at the beast. I vaguely remember that the kickback caused me to fall backward and hit my head on the porch post. I have no memories of my life with him after that moment. I just know that everything went black and when I awoke, I was back in 2012 with Jack, his father John and John’s new wife, Ellie and a new little life conceived over a century ago growing within me.

I wonder what John must have thought when he discovered I was missing.

As I sit holding the beautiful watch Jack gave me this morning, I am truly heartbroken by the realization that I have been nothing but a silly fool for torturing myself these past nine months. While I continued to pine for John and my life with him in 1868, it never occurred to me that he had REPLACED me with another woman! Only upon seeing the inscription on the watch did it dawn on me that my Jack could never have been born if John hadn’t remarried after I disappeared.

I’ve spent hours staring at the design on the front of the case. The edges are etched in fine filigree. John always had such exquisite taste. In the center, a deep circle encloses the letters L I T on the first line, followed by the letters JD below.

I can only conclude that her first and middle names began with the letters L.I.T and of course JD stands for John Dillman. I want so much to take the high road and be grateful to her for marrying John and taking my place in his life, but a part of me is filled with anger and jealousy. This watch should have been mine from the very start.

Well, it’s mine now and I shall treasure it always...no matter which husband gave it to me.

In truth, I love them both.

Journal of Jessie St. James-Dillman

January, 2013

It’s a GIRL!

Jacquelyn Ellen Dillman

Born January 7, 2013

5 pounds 10 ounces

18 inches long

Grandpa John has given her the nickname: Cricket

Chapter 1:

Nevada, 2018

N O! NOOOOO! I WANT TO GO WITH GRANDMA ELLIE! PLEASE LET ME COME WITH YOU, GRANDMA! Jacqui wailed in the voice that Jessie had come to dread. The five-year old was in rare form this morning and both women knew that this request was about one minute away from turning into another one of Jacqui’s legendary tantrums.

They had just come back from the doctor’s office and Jessie and Ellen were relieved to know that Jacqui’s MCD, a type of nephrotic syndrome or NS as the doctors called it, had been controlled by the Prednisone therapy she’d been on for the past two weeks. This disease, being an idiopathic type of kidney disease, meant that no one knew what caused it in the first place, or what would bring on another relapse. Jessie often wondered if her having conceived the child in another century and having given birth to her in the present had somehow caused this congenital disease that first appeared when Jacqui was only three months old.

Although both grandparents and Jack silently wondered if Jessie had sustained some type of injury during her time-travel phenomenon that had impacted her ability to bear healthy children, no one spoke of it. Neither Jack nor his parents wanted to risk upsetting Jessie. Everyone kept up the pretense that Jessie’s experience back in time was only something she had dreamed while unconscious in the mine accident. But it crossed all their minds each time the child fell ill due to proteinuria or high levels of protein in her urine. All suspected that Jessie’s account of her life back in 1868 was true, but what purpose would be served in delving further into the seemingly impossible incident? No, they all agreed not to speak of that event again in the hopes that Jessie would put it behind her and lead a normal life with the Dillman family. Their task now was to see that Jacqui had the best medical care possible and could out-grow this disease by the time she became a young adult, as her physicians predicted.

The down side to that attempt was that everyone was equally afraid to upset the child. On the few occasions that any of them had tried to curtail her tantrums, within a short time she had fallen ill again. Although the doctors did not feel that there was any correlation between the two, no one wanted to risk upsetting the girl and causing a relapse. So Jacqui was being raised in an artificial environment whereby she ‘ruled the roost’. Unfortunately, this put tremendous pressure on the entire family. Instead of making their disapproval of Jacqui’s behavior known to her, her parents coddled her and tended to take out their frustrations on each other. Jack had become somewhat distant with Jessie and despite his adoration for his little girl, spent less and less time at home. Jessie, not knowing what else to do with the child, gave in to her every whim, always putting the child’s needs above those of her husband. But no matter how hard she tried to become close to Jacqui, the little girl only had eyes for her daddy and his parents.

Actually, with her father traveling so much, the closest thing Jacqui had to a normal family life was when she stayed with her Papa and Grandma Ellie at their cabin on the Dillman Ranch. As soon as she walked in the door, Jacqui was a different child. There was never a need to be demanding...Grandma always seemed to anticipate her every need and provide it before she even knew she wanted it. There was never any tension in the cabin. Her grandparents not only adored her, but each other. Jacqui spent endless hours in her Papa’s lap, being cuddled and told tales of the old west. As the first female child in the long line of Dillman males, her Papa saw her as his very own little princess. He marveled at her exquisitely diminutive build...a trait she’d inherited from her mother. But moreover, the fact that she was practically a carbon copy of her father at that age (except of course for her delicate, feminine features) brought back happy memories of Jack’s childhood to the aging rancher. She was a stunning child. Jacqui had her mother’s ivory skin; contrasted by her father’s curly, coal black hair. These features seemed only to accentuate her piercing, espresso-brown eyes. Eyes that caused everyone who saw the little family together to comment on how unusually dark they were for a child with two blue eyed parents. Jessie was relieved when she realized that no one seemed to understand the unlikelihood of two blue eyed parents having a brown eyed child.

Mama! MAMA! the child yelled loudly. The sound startled Jessie back from her private thoughts.

What dear? she responded.

I SAID I’m leaving to go with Grandma back to her house now! she stated with mock exasperation. She made sure her mother was aware that she had run out of patience with her day dreaming.

Jessie, knowing she was powerless to dissuade the strong willed child, nodded and said, Okay, darling, when will you be home?

Call me when daddy gets back from his trip. Then I’ll come back, she stated flatly.

Now Cricket! Shame on you! Ellie broke in. Your poor Mama will be all alone here with both you and your daddy gone. Why don’t you stay here and keep her company? she asked.

GRANDMA! You KNOW I’d rather be with you and Papa! she whined. Anyway, Mama has plenty to keep her busy. She’s not done making the house all pretty yet...like it was when great grandpa first built it. I heard her telling you in the car that she had to make a lot of calls this afternoon after Daddy left. She’s still looking for some old lamp to replace that broken one upstairs. That will keep her busy for the rest of the day.

It’s okay, Ellie. With Cricket just getting over another bout with NS I’d just as soon have her calm and resting at your place, Jessie said with resignation. No sense having her here and fretting over what she might be missing at your house.

Oh, Jess, I feel just awful leaving you here all alone again. Why don’t you come over tonight and have dinner with us? Cricket and I will make a batch of oatmeal cookies this afternoon. I know they’re your favorite Ellie said, trying to ease the situation.

She gets what’s left after I eat all I want! They’re my favorite too, Grandma! Jacqui interjected. Ellie shook her head, We’ll make plenty for everyone! Then, giving the child a little squeeze, she said, Your Daddy’s in the barn. You’d best go say good bye to him before he leaves. Go give him enough kisses and hugs to last him until he comes home. He’s going for two whole weeks, so make sure he doesn’t run out! I’ll say good bye to your mom and meet you in the car.

Jacqui bounded out the door without even a ‘bye’ for her mother. Jessie, used to this treatment, just sighed.

Oh, Jessie, I do wish you’d come stay with us while Jack’s away. I just don’t feel right about leaving you here all alone again. You spend way too much time on your own since Jack has become an advocate for the Paiutes in this state. I swear that man meets himself coming and going these days! I know he truly believes in what he’s doing for them...and it’s a wonderful thing him helping them with all their court fights over land and water. But leaving you all alone here just don’t seem right, she said.

Ellie, you worry about me way too much! Jessie said, giving her mother in law a warm hug. You know I’m just fine here. Anyway, you’re just down the road; I could reach you in a heartbeat if I needed you and Dad. Funny, she thought. I never realized that I always call Ellie by her first name, but John has been Dad almost since the day Jack and I got married.

So, how about dinner tonight? Ellie was not about to let Jessie put her off the way she usually did.

Oh, we’ll have to see. Cricket’s right, I do have a lot of calls to make this afternoon. I’m so close to being finished with the restoration of this place that I just can’t rest until the lamp has been found and put back where it belongs. After all, I WAS the one who broke it! When I find a replacement, I can finally rest and call this project a success.

"Okay, but if you don’t make it for dinner, at least come for some cookies and to tuck Jacqui into bed. I know how she keeps you at arm’s length, but you have to keep trying with the child. If anything happened to John and me, I couldn’t rest thinking she might end up a little lost soul like you were when you first came to us. I don’t pretend to understand why she treats you the way she does, but one thing I know for sure is that if you just keep trying, some day it’s gonna pay off and she will realize how much she loves you. Ellie kissed Jess on the cheek and headed for the barn to collect Cricket and get started on dinner and those cookies.

Jessie took a clean glass from the dishwasher, and then filled it with ice and sweet tea. She smiled wistfully, thinking of how the workmen had done such a good job of hiding all the new appliances behind what appeared to be ancient wooden cabinets. John himself would have been hard-pressed to notice anything out of place in his kitchen. As she sat down at the original table, she allowed her hand to caress the wood and once again thought of the meals she and John had eaten right here. For some reason John was on her mind a lot these days. She couldn’t explain it. She had promised herself years ago not to grieve his loss and to go on with her marriage to Jack as if her whole experience with John had never happened. Why couldn’t she keep that promise to herself? It had worked for a while...when the pain of realizing he had gone on without her was at its most intense. When Jacqui was born she was too busy to dwell on her past and back then, Jack more than fulfilled all her emotional needs.

She thought back on the day Jacqui was born. When the doctor announced they had a baby GIRL she almost fainted. She looked over at Jack expecting an expression of abject horror to be on his face. But, instead, she saw him grinning from ear to ear with tears of joy streaming down his cheeks. His first words, as they handed him the tiny bundle were, FINALLY! I didn’t dare to even HOPE for such a blessing!

From that very moment they had bonded. At first it was indeed a blessing. Jessie was more than relieved that Jack had unwittingly accepted the infant as his own child and that the baby responded in kind. But as time went on, it was clear that Jacqui was always fussy and fretful when her mother held her. She was a demanding baby right from that first day. She seemed to need so much more attention than the new mother could provide. Upon coming home from the hospital, Jessie spent hours walking the floor, crooning to her daughter in an effort to get her to sleep. It never seemed to have an effect. Jack, Ellie or Papa would always feel sorry for her and come to the rescue. No sooner would they take the baby into their arms, than she would inevitably stop crying and fall right to sleep. This twist of fate perplexed Jessie and soon she found herself wondering if somehow karma was punishing her for deceiving Jack about being the child’s father. Eventually she just accepted the fact that this tiny being had made her parental preference and there was nothing she could do to change the baby’s mind. As she looked back over the past five years, Jessie realized that she had done everything humanly possible to gain her daughter’s love, but nothing had ever worked.

As she sipped her tea Jessie’s mind went back over what Ellie had said before she left, ending up a little lost soul like you were when you first came to us. ‘Has any of that really changed?’ she wondered. ‘I adored my mother when I was Jacqui’s age. Then I lost her. I remember how determined I was to never be that hurt again. I always thought that my father pushed me away after her death, sending me off to boarding schools and summer camps. But now I’m wondering if perhaps I was the one who put the emotional distance between us; the same way Jacqui keeps me away. But at least I had a reason! Tears flooded Jessie’s eyes when she thought of her father and how she would never have a chance to make things right with him. Don never even got to meet his granddaughter. He passed away due to a massive heart attack just days after the child was born. He had promised Jessie he would come right after the birth, but that wasn’t to be. Now Jessie wondered if he really would have come. After all, his track record wasn’t very good. But she soothed herself by thinking that maybe this time he might have actually shown up.

Jessie remembered feeling the numbness that set in when she was told of her father’s death. She was still not over the rigors of labor when the news came from New York. John was afraid she might take a ‘bad turn’ as he put it. But in some strange way, John had become the only real father she had ever known and she clung to him desperately from that moment onward. That’s when she had actually begun calling him DAD in earnest. She had grown to adore the man she once resented and taken every opportunity to defy. Over the past five years she had become closer to him than her own husband. Jack seemed to spend every spare second with Jacqui, which made Jessie feel a little left out. John just naturally filled the gap. When Jessie was confronted with the enormity of her inheritance, it was John who helped her through the legal aspects and investments. She grew to count on him for advice almost daily. Ellie, dear that she was, encouraged the relationship and often found ways to allow Jessie more time with her father in law. She sensed that Jessie was having some issues with Jack over the time he spent with not only his daughter, but also with his good friends over at the Pyramid Lake Paiute Reservation. She thought the time spent with John might make up for all the loneliness and emotional issues the poor girl was going through. In her typically up front manner, Ellie told Jessie exactly that. Jessie remembered how grateful she was to both Jack’s parents for all their support. When it became obvious that Jessie could not handle Jacqui when Jack was out of the house, Ellie stepped up and filled in for him. Jessie’s brow wrinkled as she thought back to those days and wondered if the kindness Ellie had intended might have actually led to the situation she now had with Jacqui. She sighed and shook her head. That was unfair. If Ellie hadn’t stepped in when she did, Jessie would have lost her mind! The woman is a saint. With all her own work to do she always put Jessie and the baby first. ‘What would I ever have done without her?’ Jessie mused.

There Jessie sat, fingers still idly stroking the antique table, wondering if her own child would grow up to be as miserable as she was before coming