The Badminton Club

By Alexander Doodis

Craig Turner quits his job as a cook at the Drunken Croc Hotel in North Queensland to focus on a very short-lived Rugby career. Stranded in Brisbane with nothing more than his sports bag and an offer to work as the Ringmaster at the Badminton Club, he finds himself in a cyclone of womanising and crime-fighting escapades amongst a kaleidoscope of fascinating and colourful characters. But nothing is ever as it seems...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alexander Doodis
• Release date: Aug 29, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310393051

Alexander Doodis

Alexander Doodis is the pseudonym and project of Alex Telman, one of Australia's leading spiritual healers.I was born in Wroclaw, Poland and grew up in Melbourne, Australia before moving to Brisbane, Queensland. I hold degrees in Law, Arts and Education and have facilitated many workshops and seminars, and spoken to many groups of people as well as winning a number of poetry slams.I have created the Doodis project to seperate my healing practice from my creative work. Doodis is especially known for his juxtaposition of orchestral and modern instrumental music. In addition to his musical output of over 500 music tracks (some of which have been for film, TV and advertising) in over 30 albums, he has written hundreds of poems.His best known compositions include the hypnotic single Hypnotic Dreams and the romantic album Cab Sav Diva. He best known poem is The Twin Towers of Love, a tribute to the tragedy of Septembet 11; and his innivative collection, Snapshots of People I Have Never Met. Doodis is known both as a poet and composer and his reputation in both arts has continued to rise.My poetic pursuits have been encouraged by the likes of Stanley Kunitz, Sydney Sheldon, Andy Warhol, Allen Ginsberg and Charles Bukowski; each of whom he had met during the 1970s and 1980s. Although slightly drunk, Charles Bukowsli bowed before me and pronounced that, "I am in the presence of a brilliant poet; it's a shame you will never be known,” referring to Doodis being a pseudonym and my decision to focus on my gift of healing. Allen Ginsberg sent me a number of poems before publication and we exchanged letters (yes, way before emails) analysing and discussing them.Stanley Kunitz said to me, "Alex, you are a legend." It's a shame he wasn't referring to my writing :)Apologies to Andy Warhol: In May of 1979 (London) you suggested I publish. You said my poetry will be 'great' when I get the 'Jewishness' out of it, when I can make my writing 'Universal'- sorry pal, but no can do. But I still remember your words to me:"SWEET KINDNESS OF THE SOUL,THAT IS THE FRIEND WE SHARE."Well my friend, I still cherish those words. Bless you.

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The Badminton Club

Published by Alexander Doodis

Copyright 2014 Alexander Doodis

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter One - Friday

Chapter Two - Saturday

Chapter Three - Sunday

Chapter Four - Monday

About Alexander Doodis

Bonus Interview with Alexander Doodis

CHAPTER ONE - FRIDAY

There are many hard men in Queensland, but the hardest and fiercest of them all was a young cook from up north near Cooktown.

He was the roughest and toughest of all the hard men to put on a rugby league jumper, but he was a player virtually unknown except to those who knew him, and only the keenest of fans would recognise the name. He was one of the most terrifying opponents imaginable, a wide, stocky forward most feared in club competition; in fact this twenty-four year old didn’t tackle, he just laid a huge paw on an opponent’s shoulder and the poor soul felt his knees give under the unbearable pressure. With hands like shovels, almost every tackle produced a foul; a punch, a kick or more often than not, both.

His name was Craig Turner, and he locked horns with some of the most brutal players in the game. Craig was hardly a tall fellow, but he was a fearsome tackler and a brutal forward. He played for the West Cooktown Hunters and although he was one of the most feared in the history of the game, he never played first grade.

Not only was he a tough competitor, Craig Turner was a freakish scoring machine. In four seasons with the Hunters, Craig scored more tries per season than any other player in the history of the sport; anywhere. In one season of twenty games he scored 103 tries. He racked up an amazing 321 tries in 80 games over four seasons and no player has ever come close to that. He had incredible acceleration and a faultless side step. In fact it was said that Craig had radar built into the toes of his boots and stealth coating meshed into the lining of his jumper; and this steered him around, through and over the top of everyone between him and the try line. Twice Craig scored eight tries in a match, three times he scored seven, seven times he scored six, nine times he scored five and in fourteen matches he scored four! As far as Craig was concerned scoring hat-tricks was an average afternoon’s work.

Craig had developed a killer instinct and his attitude on the field was one that mixed focus with pure hate of the opposition. During his fourth season with the Hunters his talent was recognised by Bert Prescott, a talent scout and General Secretary for the Queensland Rugby League who was holidaying in the top end and happened on a local match where Craig had scored a double hat-trick. Craig was immediately selected for the Queensland Country side that took on the League’s best players in a ‘friendly’ match between Country and the Queensland State of Origin team, the Maroons, in Brisbane on that fated May evening. This was to be a training, practice match before the Maroons played New South Wales in their series decider on Sunday night.

In fact that Friday was the coldest and wettest winter’s day in Brisbane for more than sixty years. The temperature that night was close to zero, the frost was like ice blanketing the ground, the fog was as thick as cardboard, and the mud was ankle deep. It’s always hot in North Queensland, and none of the Queensland Country team really wanted to play in that miserable weather, least of all Craig. And he expressed his opinion in no uncertain terms to his coach.

Tough luck, mate, said the coach, We're all in this together.

Fair enough, thought Craig. But little did Craig realise that this was to be his first and final appearance on the football field as a representative, or otherwise. This was to be a showcase match between Queensland Country and the Queensland State of Origin team, the Maroons, at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane in front of 18,000 people; all mad Maroons supporters who had come to watch their team train. This was to be a light practice game for the Maroons before their State of Origin decider the following night. The New South Wales Blues had won the first match 26 – 16 and Queensland had won the second match 32 – 18 so the decider was critical for both teams.

Everyone had written off Country as a team of young and inexperienced Queensland yokels, as none of them had ever played a first grade match. In fact, not only had Country arrived in Brisbane the day before and didn’t seem particularly interested in training, that night they had been evicted from a city Night Club for being drunk and disorderly, and their captain, George ‘Bulldog’ Diamond, together with their full back, ‘Driller’ Bucknall, were arrested at 3am for pissing in the foyer of their Southbank hotel. As a matter of fact, the only player to be in bed before nine pm that night was Craig!

In addition to Country’s poor work ethic, tempers between the two teams were frayed long before the match began. Bulldog Diamond had had a drink or three too many after practice down Cooktown oval the previous week and intimated to a news reporter that he may have had intimate relations with the Maroons Captain’s sister in the back aisle of the Cooktown library. Word got back to the Maroon squad and everyone from the Chairman of Rugby League to the caretaker at Stadium Park was denying the rumour. Of course anyone who knew Bulldog well would have realized immediately that the story could not possibly be true as Bulldog was more likely to be struck by lightning seven times in a day than step foot in a library. But Bulldog was a marked man before he stepped foot onto the Brisbane field. Or at least he would have been if he wasn’t arrested for pissing in the foyer of the hotel. So that meant every player in the Country team was marked.

A few minutes into the match that day, Craig laid out one of the Maroon players and was immediately sin binned for ten minutes. He headed off to the dressing room, but not before winking at his coach, ‘Bitters’ Halligan, a very sly wink indeed.

You didn’t really knock him out just to keep yourself warm in the dressing room, did you Turner?

A smile creased the edges of Craig’s lips, Who? Me?

Just watch yourself Turner. You get back out there and play like a man, you sissy!

Within fifteen minutes of being back in the action Craig had scored three converted tries and was all smiles; in fact he looked quite like a prom queen at the annual ball. Bitters sent Craig a message: Stop looking so goddam relaxed! A menacing grimace of determination immediately covered Craig’s face, and he looked ugly, magnificently ugly. All of a sudden he had the savage beauty of a beast that was a cross between the Incredible Hulk and Conan the Barbarian.

It didn’t take long for the match to explode and for the ‘friendly’ match to become very unfriendly indeed. What followed was a bloodbath that has become legendary, being dubbed ‘The Battle of Brisbane.’ Craig scored another two tries in the final fifteen minutes of the half and the Maroons Vice-Captain, Mad Dog Riley, from the well-known Riley police family, his father being Chief Commissioner and his brother heading the Drug Squad, singled Craig out for particular attention. The one-eyed Maroons crowd at the Stadium roared their approval as Riley gave Craig a late and high chop to the back of the head just outside the ref’s field of vision. Craig looked a little cross-eyed and confused but he let it go. After all, he had scored five converted tries in forty minutes and was on a roll. But it wasn’t long before Riley, just one minute before the half time siren, appeared out of nowhere and Craig took a forearm smash to