A Trainspotters Guide To Other Earths

By David Stevens

This is the life story of a geek from a small town, who accidentally discovers, he believes, that by holding his nose tightly, screwing up his eyes into tiny slits and blowing trapped air against his tightly closed nose, he can if he gets it just right, merge and blur the universe around him, just enough to be able to slip from one plane of existence into another.
He then discovers that the further he moves away from his start existence, the more time has split and different pathways have opened up within society.
Little does he realize that he has discovered nothing, that he is being sought and maneuvered by an alien 'She,' to another place, there to become the saviour of a different world called Earth.
This is the story of his adventures, and the enlightening road down which his life meanders. This is the story of a dedicated Trainspotter who battles a despicable malignant horror that threatens all life and how he becomes an unknown hero to millions, whilst learning a thing or two about himself along the way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Stevens
• Release date: Aug 6, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310536724

David Stevens

Dr David Stevens is generally regarded as one of the world's leading project strategists, particularly in value management, value engineering, risk management, partnering, project alliancing and strategic planning.His academic qualifications include three Masters degrees MEng (Hons); MSc (Environmental Psychology); MA (Literature); and a PhD, (Psychology). The framework and theoretical basis for his facilitation techniques are derived from his specialisation as an organisational psychologist. He is a member of the Australian Psychological Society. Dr Stevens was an Adjunct Professor at the School of Engineering and Industrial Design at the University of Western Sydney for ten years (1999 – 2009). He has acted as an external examiner of doctoral level theses. He has authored 7 books, one of which is a major international text published by McGraw Hill. He has held several board positions and has been Chairman of an Australian Standards Committee.

Book preview

PRELUDE

This is the life story of a geek from a small town, who accidentally discovers, he believes, that by holding his nose tightly, screwing up his eyes into tiny slits and blowing trapped air against his tightly closed nose, he can if he gets it just right, merge and blur the universe around him, just enough to be able to slip from one plane of existence into another.

He then discovers that the further he moves away from his start existence, the more time has split and different pathways have opened up within society.

Little does he realize that he has discovered nothing, that he is being sought and maneuvered by an alien 'She,' to another place, there to become the saviour of a different world called Earth.

This is the story of his adventures, and the enlightening road down which his life meanders. This is the story of a dedicated Trainspotter who battles a despicable malignant horror that threatens all life and how he becomes an unknown hero to millions, whilst learning a thing or two about himself along the way.

CHAPTER 1

Every adventure has a beginning, so here is mine!

First, let me explain something you need to know. This adventure occurred to me some years ago my time, and my now wife insists that I write it down, even if it is only to be read by our grandchildren. I think she sees long lines of them dwindling into the future and all interested in their famous grandparent's adventures. I have tried, honestly I have to remember everything as it happened, but many years have passed and I am a very different person now, to who I was when this all happened. Also the damned ship computer refuses to be of any help at all!

I have decided to tell my story exactly as it happened to me, which means that I have written it in two parts. The first part is clearly insane, but do not worry, do what I did and accept everything that happens as being true, if improbable. I believe my tale will open the eyes of those that did not live through it, or were unaware that they were living through it: and for those of you that are going to live through it soon, what can I say?

Anyway, all will be explained in part two, well sort of, and may even give you an explanation for some of those questions that have lurked in your darker thoughts, questions which until now have remained unexplained.

Ok, so you now know that it all turns out pretty well in the end, but there were times I can assure you, when I did not think that it would, or will again.

My wife and my life, before my adventure.

My wife was the love of my life then; she brightened up my day, enlivened my existence and I thought enjoyed sharing my exciting hobbies such as trainspotting. For the record, I believe that this is a much maligned but highly interesting hobby. Trainspotting offers many layers of fascinating achievement for the dedicated Spotter to collect and catalogue. We, I thought, had spent many happy hours in the pouring rain dressed in our matching anoraks, waiting for a two-double-0 steam train to blast passed, coating us in its sooty but exciting emissions.

Then there were my detailed and neatly catalogued sets of important foreign stamps to glue in on an evening. All in all, I genuinely believed that the love of my life felt totally fulfilled and lacking in any hidden desires. I was sure that if something occurred to her that she would say it, and together we would explore her new hobby idea. Just like that time when she had suggested that I get 'Plaice' not Cod for Friday's tea! That had been a bit interesting, and just to please her you understand, I had deliberately got one Plaice and had even extended on her idea, by adding a pickled onion each to the order. What a successful night that had been!

My life could get no better or so I thought, until that was I got up on that dim overcast Tuesday morning, and as I always did, I made her a nice cup of tea and a soft boiled egg with neatly decrusted soldiers, just as she liked them. She was sitting up in her bed, her hair net placed on the bedside cabinet I had made especially for her, she looked at me as I entered the room carrying her tray.

Darling do you think that you might do something exciting for me? She smiled and I just said Yes and waited...

Darling, could you get your coat and go outside and have an adventure, without me. Then once you have explored the whole world, return and tell me all about it.

What was I to say, what could I do but please my loving angel, so without hesitation I put down her tray and turned to go.

Darling she called to me; I half turned and waited.

Make it a long detailed and exciting adventure, I won't expect you home for tea this year or maybe even next.

Yes my love, well I will be off now to start my adventuring and see you again as soon as they are completed, I might even be able to take a few photos if I remember to take the camera. I added.

I of course would deliberately forget the camera as so far I had failed to take a single photograph with it. The damn thing just did not like me and I guess I did not like it either, so no camera.

She listened intently hearing the front-door close; he was gone at last she thought. With the tray ignored and its lovingly prepared breakfast going cold; she shoved it away from her and across the double bed. She looked out of the window just catching sight of her boring husband as he walked away from their house. Quickly she pulled on a pair of leather jeans, and removed a matching leather jacket and a motorcycle helmet from within a box secretly kept beneath the bed. He was gone and she was ready, she left the bedroom intent on enjoying an adventure of her own.

Well reader of my scrawled musings and adventures, you now know how I came to be the challenger of all perception. What you do not know is how I developed the ability to slip from one universe place, across the dead separating void of almost nothing into an almost identical place to the one I had just departed from, but on a parallel universe. Now that was a mouth full to say!

CHAPTER 2

Sitting in my favorite bandstand, watching the rainfall,

wondering how to start my unplanned adventure...

With my darling safely tucked up in bed eating her breakfast, I departed out into the world to seek out an adventure. I got exactly to the corner of our street when I realised that I had no idea what I could do. I sat on old Fosdike's front-wall, and thought; I had some money, I even had a packed lunch and a flask tucked in my duffel bag. Mainly because I had intended to spend the afternoon down the 'yards', that's train station for the uninitiated, but now I had other things to think about.

The answer to my problem seemed obvious, so why had it taken an hour to think of it? I needed a guidebook, one of those books that suggested places to visit and things to do. Roger and his shop popped into my mind. Roger was a kindred spirit and a giant in the world of Spotting, the only minor problem was that he was a bit daft! He insisted on collecting the modern diesel engine numbers whilst totally ignoring the rarer, but by far superior steam loco's in which I specialised. Roger, I had remembered, ran, well owned a little book shop on the High Street near to the park. He would surely be able to guide me in the right direction.

As I stood up from Fosdikes' wall to set off for my adventure, I heard a rumble followed by a loud pop, pop, bang, as a dirty leather jacketed biker type kicked his motorcycle into life. He was looking over at me from outside of number thirty. I hurried away to catch my bus as he pulled his bike away from the kerb heading in the opposite direction.

Two bright red buses later and I arrived at the town centre. Two hundred and six paces from the bus stop and I was at Roger's shop. A bell rang somewhere in the distance as I pushed open the door and entered. Roger promptly appeared dressed in his uniform of dark brown cords and knitted jumper, he stared at me, probably because I had never bothered or felt the need to peruse his business, but anyway here I was and eager to put money in his till. His place was clearly, as it said over the door, a bookshop, I wondered did the layers of dust add to the price of his stock, or was that just a bonus for bookish people?

Having explained to Roger that I was seeking out a new adventure and that I needed a guidebook just to start me off, he kindly pointed me in the right direction. Well actually he led me in the right direction. Roger had a smile plastered across his face, and he seemed to be quite happy at helping me make a purchase, or I wondered, was it the thought of parting me from my money? He picked out one particular book, he glanced hard at the cover, chuckled to himself at some secret thought, and then handed me his recommendation.

Well it certainly was a guidebook or so the title said, so at least he had gotten that bit right. The price seemed reasonable for such a nice looking book, so I said yes, and he took the book, rang the price into his till and bagged it for me. I was on my way again and I hadn't even had to take my glasses off to buy it, thanks to Roger's help. Watch out adventure. Watch out new places. Perhaps I could gather a few numbers for my collection as I enjoyed my adventures. My darling would be ever so pleased if I could, of that I was sure.

Now where to read my purchase, again the answer popped into my head as though placed there by a tiny thought helper, 'The Band Stand.' It was sheltered, well a bit at least, despite the obvious drawback of wind whistling through its open sides. There was little wind blowing today so the idea had merit, as did the Bandstand.

Here I was sitting in the Bandstand, there were no chairs as the band wasn't playing, and I suppose, if they had been I could not have sat there at all. My guidebook waited for my attention in its brown paper bag, so eager to be on with adventuring I opened the bag and took out my purchase. The title glowed, it stood out and literally glared at me, I read it twice, it said.

'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams'

I turned the book over carefully but because I was still wearing my glasses I couldn't read the small print, so reluctantly I removed them. I carefully folded them shut and tucked them safely into the top pocket of my handsome tweed and patch jacket. I wasn't, or at that time did not think of myself as a 'hitchhiker,' more of a travelling adventurer seeking some excitement, but not too much I cautioned myself. I picked up and opened the book expecting to find lots of interesting places to go to. Perhaps there would be a page dedicated solely to the vagaries of trainspotting? I looked very hard down the index of contents but found no such page, so I decided to start at the beginning and read until I found a suitable adventure for a person just like me.

I arrived at page nine with the end of the world due shortly by something called 'Vogons and a hyper-dimensional wotsits'. I was both confused by, and a little annoyed with my guidebook. Outside of the Bandstand the rain had begun to fall, at least I was in the dry, and besides I had my waterproof 'spotting' anorak tucked away in my duffel bag should I need it.

The fizz, pop, bang, startled me away from page 10. I looked up not expecting to see much as I did not have my glasses on, they being tucked safely in my top pocket. Surprisingly I could see smoke billowing out of thin air, inside of the smoke there rotated an object.

The mystery of being able to see the object at such a long distance without wearing my glasses was not lost on me, the thing must be huge, in fact absolutely immense! I know this because I had been told by my optician in no uncertain terms, that I was both very short sighted, and annoyingly my right eye was lazy. I watched the cloud vanish, pushed away by a slight breeze that had sprung up, although I could not feel any such gust sitting as I was in the open sided bandstand; still facts are facts and the cloud had blown away.

What was left behind, rotating madly as though spun like the bottle in that game, what was it called? Oh yes, Spin the Bottle, it was a little terrifying. I do not consider myself to be a coward, but when it comes to buzzy things I suppose that I am. I once had the onerous experience of having a midget fly settle on my lower lip, and then proceed to investigate the twin caverns that comprise my nose. It had taken me days to get over the shock of its invasion, days of lying down with the curtains drawn tight shut and my body shaking. Since that time I had determined never to let a buzzy thing get up my nose again!

The immediate concern was that the buzzy thing was huge, just like the cloud. I could see its blue and pink-lined gossamer thin wings, beating at the still air as it rotated. The breeze had obviously stopped now the smoke was gone, and the creature, to my horror had slowed until it had finally stopped rotating facing me. I was scared stiff of it, but equally it was quite fascinating in a mesmerizing way. I had never been able to see something that far away before as anything other than a blur of colour, but this, this I could, much as I did not want too, I could view it clearly.

It had no legs hanging down, just a fat body with those colourful wings attached; as it had turned for the final time I had clearly see its insect, compact, multi-faceted eyes slowly turning to face me. It was then that my fear really took off, soaring high into space much like a mentally deranged rocket. I was shaking from head to foot as the thing locked laser-like on to me. Our eyes met, mine human; it's, well... disturbing.

Then inexplicably the monster buzzed loudly and began to move. Unfortunately it moved towards me, not as I had silently prayed for it to do, i.e. move away in any other direction. Its speed increased as it seemed to home in on to me. For a second I shut my eyes tight, I screwed them up in the vain hope that it was some kind of illusion. When I opened them again it was still there, and to my horror it had covered half of the grass green parkland between us already.

A puzzling thing became apparent, the closer the creature came I noticed that the smaller it appeared to be. It was shrinking, so by the time that it was hovering one whole inch from my face, it was no longer the huge monstrosity it had been. It was still definitely large for a flighted insect, being about the length of the average human little finger, say an inch and a half give or take a bit. It still buzzed loudly, and it still very much appeared to have its eyes locked upon mine. I for my part in that nightmare scene was still petrified, but despite the nearly paralyzing fear, I had automatically taken defensive action.

I had placed the guidebook firmly between my knees. I had grasped my nose tightly, shutting my nostrils with the thumb and index finger of my right hand. I had also closed my mouth with a snap. I was as prepared for the creatures attack as best I knew how to be. It just hovered there, beating its wings faster than I could see, apparently studying me...

CHAPTER 3

What, where, how... all good questions?

I shut my eyes tight, then filled with a desperate hope I opened them once more, the damn thing hadn't vanished! It hadn't lost interest in me or flown off to terrorize some other person. It had remained exactly where it was, glaring I believed, into my face and with withheld malignance, probably while it decided where and how to attack me.

Why me? What had I ever done to it? Nothing I was certain...

Fear of something very small seemed, well stupid, I had accepted years ago that in some ways I was stupid. In that case it seemed to me that fear of something unimaginably huge, which then became acceptably small wasn't stupid. It was both impossible and deranged, but there it buzzed sizing me up for the kill, well sting at least.

I dared not take my eyes of the bloody thing, but at the same time, it might decide to attack me in an eye or even both; therefore keeping my eyes wide open did not seem to be a good idea, not good at all. I settled on somewhere between closed tight, and slightly open providing me with a slit only view of the world, that I decided best suited my situation. A quick deep breath and I was still alive! Really, I suppose I should have gotten to my feet and legged it, but fear had already and completely stuck them, my feet, into a deep and sticky eagerly grasping quagmire. I was stuck, frozen, incapable of escape; destined to endure however long through time that this thing decided it needed to assess me.

My cheeks burned as my last deep breath faded in its usefulness to my body. The buzzing grew in proportion as I got nearer and nearer to having no choice but to open my mouth to breath. One quick gasp, eyes screwed to slits, my nose firmly squeezed shut, then it happened, well something happened, not the attack I had feared, no something else, something damn strange and most unexpected!

My bottom jiggled against the wood of the bandstand. Vibration echoed up my spine to burst hammer like into my head, meanwhile the damn buzzing got faster and much louder. The world shimmered through my slitted eyes, whilst my legs and then the whole of me vibrated. Everything swayed, I felt as though I was riding one of those rope driven pirate swing boats with it being powered by the most aggressive and muscular pirate of all time. Left went the world then right swept the grass, and then left again. I had already begun to feel sea-sick, the thought of opening my mouth and spewing my breakfast over the buzzy thing almost appealed.

The only problem was that I had left my home and my dearest in such an adventure seeking hurry that I had clean forgotten to have any breakfast. Therefore the nausea would have to be tolerated, as being sick was not an option. Even my arms shook; and still that pirate pulled his rope, swinging and swaying me towards illness.

Finally after what seemed like hours and hours of 'yuk,' the world slowed its catastrophic, to my stomach, actions. The buzzing had ceased, the vibration had vanished and I was myself, sitting and feeling slightly nauseous on the bandstand floor.

What the hell do you think you are doing? echoed a male voice right in my left ear.

I opened my eyes, and noticed firstly that whilst I had been swooning in my fear-induced state of nausea, people had pulled up white wooden fold-out seats and had sat down. There were approximately two hundred of them, all sitting in a half circle, all watching me or so I thought.

I said, what do you think you are doing?

The questioner emphasized his point by poking me in the shoulder. Annoyed, I turned around intending to ask him what concern it was of his, what I was doing there. Instead of being face to face with some nosey idiot asking daft questions, couldn't he see I was ill? I was facing a large number of bright red gold fringed uniformed musicians, each holding an instrument and staring directly at me, some looked quite annoyed, most just puzzled; but not as puzzled I would wager as I was, by their presence.

Get off of my Bandstand you idiot, can't you see we're going to play a concert!

With that, he booted me, thankfully not too hard in the rear as a way of pointing me in the right direction I suppose. All the same I felt it was a little unfair to boot me off, after all I had been here before them. How I wondered had they sneaked up and set their chairs and stands behind me? I would have thought that I would have seen something, after all their clothes were bright enough. How, and for that matter where, had all these people come from with their white chairs, all sitting out there waiting to listen to a concert in the sunshine? All good questions I thought, though answers totally eluded me at that moment, but what was for sure was that if I did not want him to kick me again I would have to leave their Bandstand, and immediately.

Much to my relief I noticed as I stood up still I might add feeling a little shook up, that at least the buzzy thing had vanished; something was going right for me, finally. I took a deep breath and without looking back I squared my shoulders, hitched my bag onto my back and with my guide book firmly grasped; I marched directly away from the Bandstand. As I walked between the intrigued looking audience along the only passageway