Letters to My Son

By Michael French

This book is by my Great Great Grandfather, John Bemrose, who wrote a series of letters, 60 in all to his son, Weightman, who was experiencing as we understand it today a rough time in his teenage years. So his father wrote him this series of letters, based on his own life and times in his own teenage years in England and America, during the early 1800’s, explaining about the family name, his schooling, indenture in apothecaries (Druggist) and finally his runaway via a ship to the Americas, his voyage, arrival and subsequent joining the American Army, his experiences of the those historic times in America and the wars with the Seminole Indians. My Grandmother Dorothy Pride Lee, (granddaughter of John Bemrose) with the help of a secretary retyped copies of these letters onto a stencil and ran them off on a Roneo duplicator and bound them into a book; of which one copy was given to my mother Ann French (nee Lee). Later, years go on and technology improves, our son (Stuart French) thought so much of the family book he thought that it should be printed for all to read so he scanned it and printed a copy. His mother, Rosemary did basic editing but it was decided to keep with the style of English words as written to maintain the time of the letters. John Bemrose it appears was an articulate and God fearing man of his day who maintained his diaries. It is very sad to say along with his letters their whereabouts are not known. His thoughts of the times especially his time in the American Army, the Indian Wars, his Senior Officers, Slavery, Florida and its future are well recorded in these letters. In his conclusion he writes:- And thus the copies of the 60 letters written to my Son are taken so that all or any of my other children might peruse them and, should they do this only out of curiosity, I hope that they may derive some benefit as well for, by looking steadily at the faults and mischance’s of others we must in a measure become more cautious.

• Language: English
• Publisher: ReadOnTime BV
• Release date: Jul 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781742843872

Book preview

LETTER 1st [undated]

I will number my letters seriatimly as they will be penned during the leisure of business. This will enable me to keep a correct continuance of the thread of my story and, should you find any discrepancy, you can notify me of it.

So to commence.

When I was a Boy I used often to cogitate as to whence or how our cognomen was derived - is it English or is it Foreign? Now, we know whence we have our Johnson, Wilsons, and Dickson etc. - being evidently the Sons of Joh, Will and Dick etc. and during my peregrinations through England I found it only common to the Fens of Lincolnshire. There are Primroses and Penroses of the southern counties which apparently are more common. But we cannot imagine Beamroses springing from out the Fens for this was the way the elder folk used to pronounce our name. Now the ′a′ is left out and we have it as we spell it. Those adept in wordy lore, we will leave it.

I rather opine our family would be originally Flemish as we certainly are characteristic of that race and we do know that a colony of this people settled in these parts of Kesteven and Holland. I cannot trace our Family farther back than to my Grandfather′s Uncle who lived in the Village of Stubton. This I had from my Father′s Nurse, an old woman with whom I lodged when a schoolboy. Of an evening we used to sit round the fire and she would relate many particulars of our people, how that they were hard working careful folk and that my Grandfather lived with his Brother, Robert (the head of the Bottesford family). The Brothers, being orphans, lived with their Uncle. This old servant used to tell of the great, great, great Uncle as being a bed-ridden man and that he had lived so long in bed that his knees had become sinew-grown so that, when they placed him in the coffin they had to place a large stone upon them two or three days previous in order to get the lid of the coffin down. All such minutia would have remained in oblivion had not I been a particular gossip of this old lady. We used to chat of bye-gone days such as the manner of life in my Grandfather′s household, how the women would spin unitedly and also how the evening hours (after the day′s toil) were filled up by racings, catching the owl, single stick and wrestling’s etc. in which sports the Master joined. After the burial of their Uncle the brothers Robert and Joseph lived together and united their savings and that, when they married, they separated. Our progenitor came to Westborough and had a Farm which he worked until it nearly ruined him and would have done had not the American Revolution broken out. This got up prices and his flocks tripled over, his corn almost trebled but, as he had felt adversity he now profited by it. Knowing the value of his pence, he saved them until the end of a long life he became possessor of possibly £10,000.

LETTER 2nd Long Bennington, December 10, 1863.

Dear Weightman,

In my last I left off at our Grandfather′s accumulations which certainly were heavy considering his bringing up a family of five to mans and woman’s estate, but it was not accomplished by him alone as he was blessed with a helpmate, one in a thousand, a woman who was indeed a treasure, modest, quiet, full of benevolence and indefatigable in her household duties, one that would work with her needle for hours consecutively without experiencing fatigue but rather pleasure. Frugal in her house-keeping, yet one of those women teeming in generosity to her kith and kin as well as her poorer neighbours for, to a late age, she was surrounded by her old pensioners. She read her Bible and she was the redeeming point in the House of our Grandsire, for a good wife is a treasure from the Lord. She was seldom from home but ever ready to receive her friends and neighbours and, as she lost so little time, she could well afford to be generous. I myself never called but there was something nice with a little pocket money from her liberal hand. She was a fine specimen of womankind, beautiful to look upon, sweetly retiring with a beaming kindness of expression conveying to the beholder a welcome and a love so apparent that none could mistake.

Now this good woman could, in a measure, ameliorate the somewhat uncouth demeanour of her husband who was made in ′nature′s sternest mould′. A man possessed of great bodily strength conjoined to a determined spirit, energetic even to the time I knew him when I had an unusual fear of him and his heavy walking stick. When I think of my Grandmother I have pleasant visions of affectionate love and welcome, but when I think of my stern Grandsire I see only the penurious and hard-fisted man of the world. My Grandmother was indeed his better half! Their family were John, Mary, Anne, Jane and William, all fine specimens of humanity but Anne was the pride of the Father, she was what people style a magnificent woman. Full of her Father′s spirit and determination and, in consequence, she ruled and sometimes outraged him. Her ruling passion was dress and extravagance and she only, dare to untie his purse strings. So much for the pride of the human heart, that can overlook others only to be moulded to the purpose of those far less worthy. Possibly no better reason could be given for our Grandsire′s untoward favouritism than that she was his beau ideal of female beauty and a chip of the old block.

Again our Grandsire had one bad failing worse than others, a habit of pleading poverty when he knew he was growing rich, how common this is in everyday life! He did it so that his Landlord might not raise his rent, even descending to artful devices such as being last at the rent day as if money was hard to come at. Now if he had held his Farm under a distrustful or unfair Landlord there would have been less disgrace, but as his Landlord was kind and considerate, generous to a fault, never prying into his Tennant′s affairs, in truth a fine Old English Gentleman. It was not only disgraceful but very wicked, being a lie before God and Man and therefore, I fear, altho′ our Grandsire was considered a very honest man, to my view he was most unjust and I cannot think of the scraping together of this only as a sort of un-thankfulness towards his Maker conjoined to duplicity. Yes, it is a sad blot upon our progenitor and ultimately will entail a proper judgment upon his descendants. For it will not, no it cannot wear. Already have I seen the ill effects of it upon his own son (my dear father) who, I think, was the pink of honour and honesty. He, being the eldest son, fell into his father′s holding under the son of the defunct and benevolent old Landlord. My father and his Landlord would be well known to each other, being brought up almost intimately. Still there was the stigma handed down, there was the suspicion afloat in the young Landlord′s mind and he was consequently always ready to surmise things derogatory to his Tennant. The young Landlord and his Tennant were exactly the opposite of their progenitors so things worked at cross purposes for both. My Father had his best fields taken away until he was obliged, in self defence, to throw up his Farm. This was a great misfortune that he in his simplicity could not help. But what does it prove to us that come after but that God is not mocked and that He will visit the sins of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation. Could our old Grandfather have foreseen this, possibly he might have done more wisely but so it is we commune with our heart and are subtile in our wickedness, forgetting that God marketh the matter for not an unholy thought or deed can escape and He will bring all before judgment. If He does not at the time it will be in future days. Already we in the third generation not only feel it but have seen it in the second.

My Father and Uncle William were left the bulk of the Old Man′s property and my Grandsire was so taken up with his schemes of realizing that he forgot to have his children taught according to Scripture precepts, consequently the boys each took the way that was right in his own eyes. My Father′s tendency was to secure a respectable position in society and he advanced himself accordingly. My Uncle′s inclination ran counter to his brother′s, he seemed to try how low he could attain to and he also succeeded to the great grief of his Mother. But altho′ they each gained his point in a measure, the results were not equally obvious. One endeavoured to keep his substance together, the other almost lost it in habits of reckless folly, not extravagance for he was not that exactly, but very thoughtless. Fortunate for him he married and, being a most feeling father, the cares of bringing up his offspring have brought a proper thought and reason, having caused him to search the scripture and I believe now and for years gone by he has been pressing on to the prize eternal life, filled with love and benevolence, a kind husband and a good father, would that the world contained many such. Now for this change in my dearest and honoured relative let us give to God the praise.

My Father married a Miss Mary Wilson of Westbro′, the daughter of Matthew Wilson. Of my Mother′s family origin I know but little. Her father was one of the kindest creatures I ever knew. He was one that desired to create happiness, beneficent to his descendants, never more pleased than when he could be useful, vastly taken with his Grandchildren. Poor old Man, he has long gone to his rest leaving behind him in the hearts of his dependents a grateful remembrance. My father was about twelve years at the Farm, leaving it for this Village. His life was, I fear, rather a dissipated one. He got a commission as a lieutenant in the Local Militia and, mixing in the company of young Officers taken from the surrounding country; he naturally imbibed looseness peculiar to that class and became fond of company, more than was expedient. This habit lead him away from the monotonous life at the Farm and, altho′ considered a good manager, I could imagine he only just held his own. His Landlord momentarily feared his prosperity and evidently could not rest until he had got the whole of the Farm away which he ultimately worked on his own account 39 years and so indifferently that, at last it scarcely produced other than weeds and refuse. Several times has this Landlord referred in conversations to the time of my father′s occupation and he seemed to regret his leaving him. He informed me that they never should have parted had not bad advisers interfered.

Now this Gentleman has been kind and friendly to me over 20 years, having noticed you children with interest, telling me this girl favors your Grandmother, that′s a Bemrose etc., evidently feeling and knowing that he ought to have done differently to my father. Once he said to me "Mr Bemrose your Family and mine had close transactions 40 years and your father ought, not to have left, your Father and I should have done well enough together had he not formed a bad connection". But my impressions are, my Grandfather′s craftiness destroyed the prospects of his son. It begat a doubt which nothing but death could destroy for, after my parents decease, then only could the truth be felt and he saw, when too late, that he had lost a good Tennant. Poor Gentleman, he has done many kind acts to his children at various periods, possibly desiring to overcome any sense of injustice we might imbibe, he being most affable and always friendly. Poor misguided and unfortunate Gentleman, I feel a sorrow that he and my Father parted as it was most injurious to both.

I was eight years old when we arrived here and us children attended for a time the Village School but fear we were most unruly boys as my Father took an early opportunity of sending me and my eldest brother to a school four miles distant where we could be better managed, the Master of which having come to some notoriety as a castigator. It was here I resided with my Father′s quondam nurse. After a short period we were hastily called home to my poor Mother′s funeral. She died in child- birth, the infant shortly following its mother. My dear Son, I have told you but little of your Grandmother as I was but young at the time she died, but I have the impression that she was about the only pious creature of our house and I have a belief that, if she had lived, her children would have been restrained and altogether more fitted for society. She was evidently a woman of determined purpose for good, being full of her duties and was calculated decidedly to train her children. These are my impressions and I can understand now the loss her children sustained by her death at the time when they most required a safe guide. My Father was now necessitated to place us under the supervision of a housekeeper, a second cousin of his, and I doubt we were but little cared for spiritually for we ran wild and my Father was a politician and, altho′ most kind and a most gentle being, never to malign any, full of charity and benevolent feeling etc.

LETTER 3rd Long Bennington, January 9, 1864.

Dear Weightman,

These amiable qualities of your Grandfather were but natural to him, they did not grow I fear as the results of scripture teaching. Would that they had, on the contrary he read Volney, Tom Paine and became a free thinker not believing in the Scriptures. Knowing these things I do not wonder at the mishaps of his children, especially myself, the chief wanderer from the paths of honour and integrity. If foolish man will set at naught the decrees of the most high he must reap the whistwind and so it was and is always. If we forsake God′s Law and make a law to suit ourselves we must eventually fall for mortality cannot successfully war against the Immortal. Would that our dear Father could have had other knowledge than that by the World so highly prized - the true wisdom is too often regarded as foolishness and the doctrine of salvation despised by clever and acute men. Yet if they do give their hearts desires towards the study of it they must (if honest) succumb to its gracious influence. On the contrary, if they will read man′s work so as to refute it they cannot but succeed in damaging their influence for Good but you must understand our most dear and most kind Parent never knowingly used infidelity as a snare to his children. He was not quite so besotted or so foolish, rather he was guarded before us but, when surrounded by his classmates, it would unfortunately be but too apparent and accordingly leave its taint. Again if a man gets infidel notions he is too often at the mercy of the wicked and designing for, as sure as we live and have our being, there are those who would profess anything or any wickedness to secure the good will and sanction of their superiors in wealth or station. You know it always was so, pretenders followed the Saviour for the sake of the loaves and fishes so will they follow any wicked exemplar providing they can get at his wine-cup without cost. Therefore it behoves all Parents to try their ways by the Saviour′s example so as to walk by it. For to follow the corrupt customs of the World will surely surround them by parasites whose God is their belly and who will eventually bring them to a piece of bread and usually [they] are the last to acknowledge benefits. Thus again proving that Godliness is great gain even here as well as for an hereafter, plainly shewing our duty as Parents is to choose our companions by the unerring example of Scripture teaching in order that our family circle may be a blessing to the young as well as a source of peace and love to those of a declining age. It is doubtless the wish of all to secure their children prosperity but when a parent, by his life indicates that he is not always seeking his own benefit and ease but, on the contrary, their welfare is uppermost, he must be careful to have such friends and companions as will strengthen his hands for Good. Would that all may do this and they will substantiate accordingly that the humble and contrite are the only fit exemplars to the rising generation. Now mark the two courses of training, the first wish of the natural man is the well being of his offspring, but when conjoined to grace it becomes pre-eminent and lasting for it is the daily warfare with the powers of evil carried out with fear and trembling, setting forth to his children how pure and ennobling is the Christian life! We saw little of this latter teaching, consequently we were brought up loosely for at times drunkenness and gluttony took the lead.

After two or three years of such demoralization we were sent to Nottingham Boarding School, the object being to obtain a little classical knowledge with the rust of Village life rubbed off. Here again we fell into the hands of people thoroughly incompetent to train youth. Poor creatures, how could they when so miserably brought up themselves! The Master was most amiable, learned and a good classic. The Mistress was contrariwise, very unnameable, yet talented as a Teacher, Painter, etc. but sadly unfit as a manager or housekeeper. Consequently they were soon in great straits from shortness of cash, causing great bitterness and daily scenes of strife too obvious to us and readily taken advantage of for, though their contentions we, boy like, strengthened our position in disobedience and lost our advantages accordingly. How ready were we for war! What rebels and how ready were we to increase the tumult! So head-strong and unruly I believe we were the dread of the poor weak-bodied Master and, unfortunately for his authority, his poverty caused him to be my debtor in numerous small loans to meet now and then some trying necessity, making me (tyrant like) ready at all times to resist his will and governance. How base and cruel is poor human nature! How soon do we show the cloven foot! Poor man, his misfortunes were our barbaric opportunity. I see him now, how dull and melancholic! His wife′s habits increased this despondence. They were a miserable pair, thoroughly unsuited and evidently spoilt children, how was it possible they should manage headstrong and unruly boys.

I remained here until the Master and the Boy were parallels in Algebra and left to finish my education by a half year′s training at a Village nearer home where I managed to pass the time more creditably to myself and Teacher. Here I was prized by both Master and Mistress being too old and too tall to join in the pranks of the boys. This was beneficial and I believe I was considered to have made good progress and had gained a certain respectability whereas at Nottingham commenced that insubordination which too frequently mars the prospects through after life. For here our Master was mostly kind but very weak. This produced contempt and wilfulness, shewing that we required a sharper curb and determined rule. I cannot look back to these Nottingham School days only with regret and shame at the dastardly treatment this poor and gentle being received at our hands. My brother was quite beyond his control and I was hard to manage. I had been [there] about six months when the poor man exerted himself to regain his lost authority at which we rebelled and set him at defiance in the face of the whole school. A scuffle ensued in which I kicked and struck out like a young demon, concluding the disgraceful scene by putting on my hat and leaving for home, a distance of over twenty miles which I reached at six in the evening.

To my dear Father′s credit I was received only for the night, called early next morning and taken to Bottesford, placed on the coach which brought me back to my Master like a disgraceful lout and impulsive fool and, would you credit it, all unsubdued and unrepentant. Our leisure hours at Nottingham School were spent at games of cricket and boxing, my brother and I becoming joint owners of a set of Boxing Gloves. Do you wonder at our degradations when boxing was our chief delight and amusement? On Saturdays (Market Day) we were allowed the run of the streets, our Master only too anxious to see our backs and almost dreading our return to tea when we were frequently obnoxious, finding fault with the victuals, cookery, etc. which certainly was not of the first order.

My dear Son, this poor man with his ill-trained help and unruly pupils and great poverty was, as it were, possessed by three furies. What a pity that his natural amiability of character should meet with so hard a fate, but so it was poor fellow! I fear his trouble did not cease after I left as he ultimately sank and became an inmate of an asylum where, I think, he died. When I ruminate upon my school days at various places the idea possesses me how unfitted in general are pedagogues to train youth and it cannot be otherwise when Masters enter upon their scholastic duties with improper motives. The School Master ought to stand pre-eminent before the Public and would if he made his profession more godlike in its teaching and daily routine of example to the young mind so ready to be impressed with whatever it set before him, whether for good or for evil. But as independence or accumulations of self are too much so, the prominent view taken by all professions even so in this and, sad to relate, that the school master and the clergy will make such barter for knowledge as will and must in a measure have an ill affect upon generations as yet unborn.

At my finishing school the Master was taciturnity itself. For a man of good scholastic knowledge I think I never knew one so little instructive as a companion. Here again was bad training at work, he having evidently been taught to make his profession a means towards affluence and, to my recollections, this was his desire. What a perverted existence this and how callous becomes the nature of men when given up to it! His wife, poor woman, had a soul beyond the monotonous cravings of her husband. She was one that could enjoy nature in her work and was accordingly the reverse of her husband, being companionable and possessed with a desire of communing with her friends and neighbours and would have been most agreeable as well as useful with a more suitable partner, again shewing the desirableness of young person’s studying more carefully, each other’s tastes and peculiarities previous to marriage. Leaving this school I am considered sufficiently educated to be placed behind the counter of a country druggist.

I was apprenticed to Mrs Ann E. Lowth of Oakham Ruts and bound (after three months trial) to serve six years, premium £75. Mrs Lowth was a person of considerable distinction, being the daughter and grand-daughter of clergy rather high in the Church. Her Husband′s father also was the son of the Earl of Winchelsea′s Chaplin. Mr Lowth died about six months previous to my arrival and had left a rather lucrative business in sad disorder through a fondness he had for the veterinary art which he followed in preference to his home trade.

* I never discerned the slightest sense of the fear of God at the two boarding schools. The Nottingham poor man′s life was one scene of melancholy and he was wholly taken up by the difficulties of his position. This one certainly lived in a state of quietude in comparison but never (although he was most respectable) shewing by his life that he lived in dependence to that Great and Merciful God to whom all our hearts ought to be open and ′to whom all our desires are known′ and hence dates the ruin of his family. The Almighty had placed them in comfortable circumstances for he had a good and profitable school besides the management of all parish affairs which I and others considered were laying the foundation of a competency. But alas! The sequel of all this apparent prosperity is that, since his death, his widow has some £20 a year to maintain her and her two daughters, one of which is almost an imbecile. The widow herself being lunatic as the troubles of life and age come upon her. What a sad ending to the carefulness in the household I once saw there displayed. None of us can foretell our future, another mercy to us. Yet most certainly the better way is for all to live in the acknowledgment for all our daily mercies and to strive to inculcate in our households the desirableness of the fear and love of God.

* Quid futurum sit nescimus.

LETTER 4th Long Bennington, February 6, 1864.

Dear Weightman,

We had a Mr Wellington, a Somersetshire young man of 25 years of age as manager, a person well fitted to resuscitate a neglected trade. He was most assiduous to customers and the minutia of the concern, very energetic and never flagging or tiring in sending after outstanding debts. So much so that our unconscious able debtors would exclaim Poor Mr Lowth, it was not so in his time. This so frequently happened that it sometimes raised the ire of the Duke (the cognomen our manager went by) he being of the same type of nose as his namesake, the hero of Waterloo. Mr W. was particularly neat behind the counter and most anxious to cultivate a good understanding with the respectable portion of the community, resulting ultimately in a great influx of trade. Indeed so great was the increase and so heavy was it, consisting of waggon loads of paints, oil cake, etc. that I and our Porter, Robert, scarcely had a minute′s leisure. Our business was one of those superior country trades now seldom seen. We did not do much with Oakham; our firm was not much suited for it, the place being very poor and paltry. We did chiefly with the neighbouring gentry, nobility, clergy, etc. and I think seldom is there a more lucrative one found - this convinces me that, however good a business may be, it will soon be lost by neglect or other crotchets or predilections which carry away a man from his shop. Mr Lowth fondness for horses and dogs and all kinds of dumb animals was proverbial and it led him into the veterinary. This begat habits which eventually lost him a good retail which had cost him over 20 years in substantiating so that, during the latter part of his days until his death, he was seldom to be found at home and the results were straightened circumstances for his widow and children.

Here again a warning for you my dear Son. When you have a charge, fulfil it to the letter, use your best ability and God will make your endeavours prosperous. On the contrary leave your shop to others whilst you are following this or that notion, the consequences must be great trouble if not bankruptcy.

Better than all genealogical pedigrees, Mrs Lowth was not only well descended but well tutored, shewing in her actions that she was educated by Godly parents and I consider her to have been a truly good and Christian woman. If I had heretofore been neglected in spiritual matters it was not so any longer. We had morning and evening prayers conjoined to much Christian counsel, her life and soul being in it and, I believe, she always considered me as one with her other children. She was truly kind and considerate for my permanent good and, if there did appear discrepancies at times, they were generally overruled by her heart-felt anxiety, shewing a thorough principle for the good of her whole household. Unfortunately her husband′s habits and life were not in accordance. He allowed his apprentice too much liberty, it degenerated to licentiousness. Mr L. not only left his shop but his apprentice did likewise and I fear ultimately was a ruined man. He even so far degraded himself so as to become drunken and consequently quite unfitted for the counter. What must have been the sorrow of poor Mrs Lowth to see a soul (committed in some degree to her charge) following the road to destruction and how harrowing the thought that her own husband was the principal cause! This sad experience with her husband′s previous apprentice doubtless caused Mr [W.] and Mrs [L.] to be hyper-critical and consequently suspicious, too ready to attribute wrong and to meet it at every turn, in truth shewing a great want of confidence. This is hard to bear when we are looking for credit and trust, but when we find we cannot secure it from our overlookers; we naturally become filled with regrets and despondence. Yet if we would but look above and ask for patience, we shall not only get it but ultimately a clearance. For the Lord, is above and marketh the matter and all shall be made as bright as the noon day for those who trust in Him.

Possibly few could have remained in my position although I must admit it was essential to do so as it was just that sort of training which would have well fitted me for society here, as also giving stability to this mind in attaining to and valuing wisdom so as to walk worthily in after life. It was the acme of propriety, although I have foolishly despised it when blinded by worldly prejudices, but now I see it was just the path I should like all my children to tread. Would that I had been prepared by proper culture to receive my dear Mistress′s wise admonitions but unfortunately the good seed fell upon an uncultivated soil, a wicked and deceitful heart! Mrs L.′s household affairs were well-arranged, cookery excellent, seasonable and all conducted with the greatest neatness and cleanliness. She and her dependants were most orderly. What a trial it must have been to have such an untrained youth so naturally inclined to disarrange.

My first years′ servitude passed tolerably well. Although hard worked, I was comfortable and open, but unfortunately our good old Porter, Robert, a wise and discreet man, left us on account of wages. This useful servant could take his share in counter work and was an adept amongst oils, paints, etc. We never did much with his successors being generally quite unfitted for their duties. After I had been about ½ years we had a soi-disant Gentleman′s servant who was only fit to attend upon Ladies′ lap dogs or to keep their curriculums in order.

I now found myself borne down with daily duties, work from 5 to 6 to 10 and 11 at night, sometimes up at 3 which told sadly upon my strength. My bodily energies were so over-taxed that I forgot to book goods sold, the punishment for which was to be called out of bed (if in winter no matter) and left to ruminate until memory brought forth the omission. Sometimes I have waited an hour in such dilemma in a cold shop at midnight, so that I began to think it cruel and especially it was, for energies overwrought must weaken the brain as well as the body, causing many failures. I became nervous and irritable, broke bottles and, in being over-cautious, committed more blunders until I became mopish and miserable. Then, to add to these troubles, the Porter was of little use, clever at evading work which fell to my lot, after he had gone home at night. This man was most sycophantic, usually spending his time in the stable, curling the pony′s mane, being most intent on making a fair show when he drove his mistress out. This man was my evil genius, apparently friendly, yet secretly under swinging, professing to sympathize in my troubles, yet ready to reveal any little matter when, by little and little, he caused me to lose the kindness and goodwill of my master and mistress. In fact he became a spy upon my actions, receiving and carrying tittle tattle to and fro.

Now pause my dear Son and give particular heed to this portion of my narrative. It is our family failing to seek the society of inferiors in station. Why is this? Is it because we are to shew to best advantage? If so, it is only vanity proceedings from weakness of mind. May we forsake this error as it is wiser to form associations with those more nearly our equals in station and especially those that are discreet and just. I do not require my children to become proud but would inculcate the desirableness of possessing a certain self-respect which will free them from mean and grovelling companions whose society must tarnish and degrade for they are mostly seeking their own and not another′s welfare. I know these have a more obsequious manner and, of course, please us most for a time but they cannot last and always will show the cloven foot when their victims are sufficiently lowered as not to be able to distinguish the change. But far be it from me to wish to see you distant with God′s poor, for when they are His (however humble their station here) they must be gentle men and gentle women and from such we must derive good and satisfactory results. For surely all that have God as their Father must guide us aright. But here again it behoves us to try all by the spirit of the Bible or we may be deceived for there are professors so specious as to deceive almost the very elect. Then say you how can we in our weak estate provide against those possessing such subtleties? I know from experience my dear Boy, few of us are able to do this but, with God′s blessing upon our honest endeavours we can avoid much evil and do wonders.

I will jot down a few rules for your attention and observation. Firstly, a truly godly man seeks society solely that he may increase the blessed leaven of righteousness. He has not time for other desires the welfare of others is uppermost, selfish has no portion with him: he tries all his ways by the unerring rule of doing to as he would be done by. When he fails he is sorry, admits his faults, and tries again and again until strength is given; his is warfare with evil, by day and by night. He guards himself by prayer and supplications and he finds God′s grace is sufficient. But when he does wrong he does not hide his fault in his own bosom, he goes to those that have suffered by him and supplicates their forgiveness or he makes amends by every means, giving fourfold for his error. Then he goes to his heavenly Parent and, by His blessed spirit welled in the Saviour, he is healed. 0 how careful is the true believer that he should not err before the babes of Christ′s fold! He is (to enumerate) not selfish but loving, just and true in all his dealings, full of compassion, hating iniquity and all manner of defilement, gracious, bearing and forbearing, patient under difficulties and when, at times bound down by the weight of worldly devices, he is not submerged for he casts his thought beyond this sphere when he is righted and again goes on his pilgrimage rejoicing. A Professor only, will surely shew himself as he really is to the discreet observer. His motives are impure, he delights secretly at iniquity, and he professes love but deals hate, neglects his duties, given to gossip, tale bearing etc., and shewing in all his actions a delight rather than an abhorrence of evil. From such let us watch and pray to be delivered for we are told Satan sometimes comes as an Angel of Light.

I am thoroughly convinced Mrs L. was truly one whose principal desire was to follow and carry out the precepts of Christ. She was a woman of prayer and certainly was as a beacon of light to the district but, as usual, the majority of the people despised and hated her for her superior sanctity! There were a noble few who joined her in sundry good deeds such as charities to the poor, infant school teachings and supervision with other useful duties of benevolence, the chief of which were Lady Turner of Cold Overton, the Honourable Baptist Noel, Squire Finch of Burley and the Rev. Jones etc.

Still withal, she was open to flattery, (our self love is too ready to imbibe it) and in a measure fell in her own esteem for she allowed the tempter to have sway and she became suspicious. Poor old Lady, she suffered much by indigestion and was ordered morning airings in her little pony carriage. Again, how subtle is the Serpent. He found a driver, one who had the tact to be companionable, a master to please and to insinuate - the latter he did so cleverly that neither I nor Mrs L. found it out until too late. So mark this, altho′ I, a youth, susceptible to every influence was led astray, yet my poor old Mistress, wise as she was in comparison, fell also by the same tongue.

After returning from visiting my dear Father at the expiration of two years of my servitude with fresh resolves to do my duty out of a love to please this dear one, I commenced to do my utmost to regain lost favour etc., being strongly impressed by this dear parent how necessary it was to bear up bravely and to act honourably in doing my best to fulfil my engagements fully until the end. This counsel was so far useful that I often imagine that, if he had also been more constant in writing, the results would have changed. For always after great difficulties sometimes, I dare say imaginary, a letter from home would dispel all and I would again be renewed to press on in the path of duty. Would that all parents might attend to this and hence now my great wish of constant intercourse with you for, however distant, a letter will bridge even the Ocean.

These resolves of ours to converse together altho′ apart, surely the Almighty will bless to each other′s comfort. Notwithstanding all my good resolves troubles came as they will daily to all, proving how futile are our determinations when made in our own strength. There must be daily tribulations for, to live without trials, what poor creatures we should be, how selfish, how thoughtless would our existence be! Tribulation bringeth patience. To live and become an impatient being, how unlovely and unthankful is our existence! Whereas trials are sent to all to prepare us for better things, to shew us this is not our rest and to nerve our hearts for death′s final sting.

To resume, troubles thickened around me. In truth I was overworked and over watched, my burdens became galling and at this period I met with two or three expensive accidents. One, I believe was the demolition of 2 or 3 lbs. of Meth. Spirits these things worried me excessively. I became depressed, could not rest either day or night, strove hard to battle with all and found great relief by another letter from home. How sweet were these epistles to my troubled spirit!

LETTER 5th Long Bennington, April, 1864.

Dear Weightman,

But my dear Son, you have a great advantage over me. When I was troubled I could not look above for comfort, not being in a state of Sonship with my heavenly Father. On the contrary I rather ridiculed the idea of Religion. Consequently my comforts from