Talk to the Hand
By Lynne Truss
3.5/5
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About this ebook
A battle-cry for civilised behaviour from the author of the multi-million selling Eats, Shoots and Leaves.
"Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening," the saying goes. When did the world get to be so rude? When did society become so inconsiderate? It's a topic that has been simmering for years, and Lynne Truss says that it has now reached boiling point. Taking on the boorish behaviour that has become a point of pride for some, Talk to the Hand is a rallying cry for courtesy. Like Eats, Shoots and Leaves, Talk to the Hand is a spirited conversation, not a stuffy guidebook. It is not about forks, for a start.
Why hasn't your nephew ever thanked you for that perfect Christmas present? What makes your builder think he can treat you like dirt in your own home? When you phone a utility with a complaint (and have negotiated the switchboard), why can't you ever speak to a person who is authorised to apologise? What accounts for the appalling treatment you receive in shops? Most important, what will it take to roll back a culture that applauds rudeness and finds it so amusing? For anyone who's fed up with the brutality inflicted by modern manners (and is naturally too scared to confront the actual yobs), Talk to the Hand is a colourful call to arms from the wittiest defender of the civilised world.
Lynne Truss
Lynne Truss is one of Britain’s most well-loved comic writers and is the author of the worldwide bestsellers ‘Eats, Shoots & Leaves’ and ‘Talk to the Hand’. She reviews for the Sunday Times and writes regularly for radio.
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Reviews for Talk to the Hand
496 ratings34 reviews
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Whereas "ES&L" had humorous moments, this text was much more strident, and therefore much less enjoyable.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very funny and scarily accurate.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The author of the popular grammar book Eats, Shoots, and Leaves, has turned her attention to the lack of manners in modern society. She gleefully skewers those who are unable to maintain common courtesy in brief encounters or in longer social relationships. Wonderully witty, as expected.
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5disappointing
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Listened to this on audio. Very short and entertaining. More of a comment on British society than ours, but makes you think about the value of simple kindness and courtesy.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I have to admit that I wasn't as keen on this as I was on Eats, Shoots and Leaves. It sort of feels rushed, like she just wanted to churn out another book as quickly as possible. Fairly entertaining though, as light reading.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Having loved her previous best seller, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, I was looking forward to more great humor (based on reality) and clever observations on the sorry state of today's society. Unfortunately, it's not as funny, although it is clever. Perhaps first-time success is impossible to duplicate. This one didn't satisfy as much as the first book. Am I glad I read it? Yes. Would I read it again? No. Is it worth reading? Yes. Just go in with no expectations.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5At first, despite Truss's denials, this reads like straight-forward crotchetiness. However, it gets interesting a little later, with for example p. 46, Surely if we hold doors open, we are acting altruistically? Yet our furious, outraged, jumping-up-and-down reaction when we are not thanked would indicate that we hold doors open principally to procure the reward of a public pat on the back."
Finished. That bit did turn out to be about the most nuanced, thoughtful bit in the book.
I'm not convinced A) that Truss doesn't value etiguette over manners, despite her protestations, or B) that rudeness and the kind of respect and kindness that go with it are on the increase. I believe that as we get older we feel it more due to a cumulative effect.
Nor do I know who she believes will read and benefit from this. Anyone who does pick it up will be sympathetic already, yet feel as if they are already impeccably mannered." - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Good idea but too much editorializing for me to get into the meat
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Hilarious skewering of today's rudeness epidemic. Funny, in England they think we're still polite in the US!
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I picked this up for almost nothing in a bookshop on Charing Cross Rd. I really enjoyed Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Truss, and thought I would similarly enjoy this. Not really - it just didn't quite flow, and didn't make sense at times.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I enjoyed the theory parts of this book: a quick recap of why manners develop and how they relate to etiquette and social changes. Other parts were more of a 'Grumpy Old Woman' rant, although I agree with a lot of what Lynne Truss feels about the behaviour of people today. One thing I do object to is the title, though: very early in the book Truss says "this isn't true of France" and the use of the word 'world' in the title doesn't reflect the fact that her book is pretty much just about life in the UK, and England in particular. The overcrowded nature of English life is a major contributory factor to the type of rudeness Truss describes (particularly when it comes to travelling public transport), and yet this element didn't get much attention from the author.There were some genuinely funny parts and a few grains of hope for a better future, but the overall feeling I had after reading this short book was one of depression.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5An examination of the collapse of manners in every day life, Lynne Truss unleashes her wit (and exasperation) in an effort to amend the situation. Exploring the six reasons why one should stay home and bolt the door that revolve around the increasing disappearance of manners and the encroaching lack of respect that happens as a result, Truss explores the history of manners and the reflections on society that manners have. While there are some very funny moments in the book, I was not as taken with this volume as I was with Eats, Shoots & Leaves, perhaps because manners are not as important to me as grammar and punctuation are. Or perhaps, as Truss argues towards the beginning of the book, I am simply too young for many of these things to bother me. Additionally, this book is almost exclusively focused on the descent of British manners and makes several arguments surrounding the defunct class system that was far more potent on that side of the pond which means that some of the examples used are not as cross-culturally applicable. An interesting read that will make you think and probably chortle a little, and perhaps encourage you to thank the person who held the door open for you.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The author of the popular grammar book Eats, Shoots, and Leaves, has turned her attention to the lack of manners in modern society. She gleefully skewers those who are unable to maintain common courtesy in brief encounters or in longer social relationships. Wonderully witty, as expected.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5"Talk to the Hand" is a commentary on the lack of manners and civility in English society today, with the occasional inclusion of some of the more bizarre aspects of American society. I suspect that enjoyment of this delightful little book is predicated on the extent of one’s agreement with the author. In my case, that agreement was substantial. Since I share many (although not all) of the pet peeves with which Truss deals, and because her humor is a type that I find especially appealing, the book was a pleasure to read. Still, it really wasn’t quite as good as her book on punctuation.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A classic 'book-after-the-famous-one' type book - although I was amazed to see this owned by nearly 1500 librarything members, so it must have done quite well. To be honest, I'm not sure where this came from, or why I read it. It was just someone moaning in a not particularly amusing way about people being slightly rude, page after page. To be fair, Lynne Truss came across as likeable enough, and the book was easy reading. I'd really like to read about Truss's time as a sports correspondent next time.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The topic of Lynne Truss’s follow-up to the highly enjoyable Eats, Shoots and Leaves – rudeness and the perceived decline in public manners – is a winner. It’s fun, it’s engaging, and everyone has an opinion on it. For the most part, this is enough to sustain Talk to the Hand. It’s a very short book (just over 200 tiny pages), and since anecdotal evidence of rudeness abounds, Truss is never short of entertaining stories and examples. But I found Truss’s conclusions unsatisfactory. She implies – but never quite acknowledges – that her own (and many, many other people’s) realistic fear of getting physically assaulted for calling out rude people is the trump card for declining civility. Standards drop because we’re too afraid to enforce them. To her credit, Truss (who identifies herself as a typical Guardian-reading lefty) realizes that to a large degree this unwillingness to confront rudeness is the result of political correctness and class consciousness. She even quotes approvingly Theodore Dalrymple, who is a conservative’s conservative. But she is ultimately unwilling to concede that the conservative view of civility, and indeed of civilization itself, is a better fit for the reality of human nature. Instead, she sputters and obfuscates and throws up her metaphorical hands. And that’s too bad, because given her readership, Truss misses an opportunity here to really drive home a serious point, and she undercuts the force of her whole book.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rudeness in our world. The subtitle says it all. Reading this book makes you feel it is somehow a nicer world.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I was prepared to like this book. I liked Eats, Shoots and Leaves rather a lot (and not just for the panda joke and the stickers), recognising a kindred spirit. From what I can tell, other people liked it, too; and Ms Truss must have made rather a lot of money out of it. I suspect this is where we find the origin of Talk to the Hand. Where the former was an honest-to-god well-formulated rant by someone who just can't take any more, this book feels forced. And it really shouldn't. Manners ought to be easy to rant about. She did it rather well in Eats, Shoots and Leaves when she described good punctuation as simply good manners. And yet, when she does turn her attention to manners … . It could be that she dismisses etiquette as a bad thing. I suspect there are some warped leftist leanings (and this is me saying this) which makes her think that she is duty bound to denounce etiquette as an elitist attempt to make the common man feel out of place. I love having clear rules to rely on in my relation with other people -- social situations are awkward enough without it.I am also rather surprised at her very strong reaction to waiters delivering food with the words "There you go". Perhaps it is just me being foreign, but that really never bothered me at all. In fact, it seemed rather friendly. This was the moment when I really began to suspect that the book would be rather forced. And that is quite sad, as this particular rant showed up on page 5.Similarly, her insistence on consistently writing Eff rather than Fuck annoyed me dreadfully. She seems to have an absolute obsession with the word. After a while it got to me to such an extent I went through the book with a pencil and changed all her Effs to what she was trying so hard not to write. See, I feel she has fallen into a complete (and highly American, I feel) misconception when she assumes that simply using the word Fuck constitutes bad manners. Which is what she appears to argue in her chapter on "The Univeral EffFuck-Off Reflext. It is a fundamental fallacy. She is quite right that the knee-jerk defensive reaction to any form of criticism is rather sad, I doubt this has anything to do with the use of the word itself. As illustrated by the title of this very book, the statement of which embodies the same meaning. There are of course a number of instances where I agree with her. And in addition to the aforementioned corrections of the one annoying euphemism (is it really a euphemism? See, I like euphemisms. That one just really gets to me. Especially when spelt "Eff", dammit!) there are a number of scribbled "yes!" and "precisely"s in the margins of my copy. Her observations on the rudeness of telephone machine menus, and the inherent assumption that it is all right for whichever company is in question to take up your time, whereas you shouldn't take up its. I confess my wholehearted agreement when it comes to this particular peeve may be down to me being a bit of a technophobe, but the self check-out at Tesco makes me want to break down and cry. She also has a rather good rant on internet communication and the illusion of choice, and I seem to have given my hearty assent to her observation that the internet does not, contrary to what some would have you believe, improve people's people skills. I'm not looking at anyone in particular. There is also a sigh, which, again, I find myself agreeing with, concerning the lack of truly juicy revelations in most of the telephone conversations we overhear every day. And in this part of the book I found some of the more amusing anecdotes as she looked at the reactions to the arrival of the ordinary phone as a disruptor in daily life. And of course her observation that deference is not necessarily a bad thing. That, quite the contrary, it is a very good thing in a great many situation, because contrary to popular belief all people are not equal and it wouldn't hurt to admit it. So. I suspect my main problem with the book is that I don't think Ms Truss knows whether she wants to be an elitist or one of the people, and she attempts to provide an alibi for both identities -- resulting in what is frankly a very odd contradictory book at times. I was disappointed.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A fun take on the world. A quick read with language that is easy to read even when English is not your first language. I can't say I agree with all of the viewpoints but then again I live in Finland where some of the politeness requirements mentioned in this book would be viewed as nothing but strange. :)
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The book is essentially a complaint about modern rudeness, of which the phrase 'talk to the hand', sometimes followed up with ''cos the face ain't listening', is an excellent example. This is not a guide to modern manners or etiquette, as Truss makes clear in her introduction, but there is some substance behind the light style, as is demonstrated by the bibliography. Essentially, there are six chapters in which Truss uses a mixture of conjecture, anecdote (lots of anecdotes) and historical detail to express her disgust at the lack of politeness, wonder where it went and establish the reasons why this is a problem. The issues she targets are unlikely to be divisive, although I do wonder whether teenagers really have any concept of private and public space anymore, so it may not appeal to those who grew up with msn always in the background and a phone in which to shout 'yeah, well, I'm on the TRAIN!' Mobile phone use, unnecessary use of the F-word and eating in public are all criticised and possible explanations for their common occurrence considered. Although Truss' style is humorous and occasionally made me giggle, the points she makes are those that (if you are like me, anyway,) you can't help nodding along with. Why must people discuss their best mates' sex life at top volume while you're sitting next to them on a bus? In this respect, the book is an insight into modern life in Britain. Perhaps what is missing from this book is any kind of hope. Truss complains and makes ironic comments a form of 'fighting back' but doesn't seem to see any real hope for change in the future. The message seems to be that society is falling apart due to a general lack of respect and all we can do is look back nostalgically. Still, if you have ever found yourself wondering why on earth you've just been told to 'f-off' by a complete stranger, then this may well be the right book to entertain you for a few hours. That said I would imagine that you'd only really want to read it once, so recommend borrowing it before making a purchase.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A book on the matter of manners and what we regard as acceptable behaviour. Highlighted is the changing level of rudeness in society. Mobile phones, email and those dreaded phone customer service operators are a source of annoyance in our modern world. Whilst reading I could relate to many of the topics covered by Truss and I agree with her sentiment about the many reasons we should stay at home and bolt the door!!
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5One of what seems like an epidemic of books on rudeness lately (or maybe that's my fannish perspective coming into view), but for once the author talks about what is rude and why, rather than suggesting that everyone has a built-in sensor that should tell them when they're being rude! All in all, very funny, though more like reading a rant than someone's advice column. On the other hand, I think that's what she was going for.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I enjoyed this, but not as much as Eats, Shoots and Leaves. I think the reason is because it is harder to laugh off rudeness, because it contributes to our fear of our culture's decline and is therefore scary. I still recommend it, though.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A hilarious look at society's rudeness today. Truss does not pretend to give advice nor an in-depth analysis on the evils of human behaviour; she does also admit that it is a long rant that will go a long way to making her feel better. The fact that I could relate so well to her rant is also a testimony to the truthfulness of the situations she describes. I do agree that a bit more civility would not harm anyone and after reading this, I'll try to monitor my Eff-Off reflex and be more gracious.As a tip to the author who did not react well to ladies being invited by gentlemen, I propose that she accept the offer and return the invitation to the gentlemen at a later date..
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5It's a good read, funny and informative. But no where as good as Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Truss is incredibly well-read, her references are amazing! But that said, I didn't relate to her issues. And very often I thought what's the point?
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A commentary on the rudeness of society today. I found that a lot of it ringed true.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A humorous yet sobering essay on modern individuals' lack of consideration for others.
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5I read this last night. Yep. Picked it up at 7ish and finished it at 10ish.So, it's a quick read.That's probably the best thing I can say about it.I'm not sure if it's because I'm not of the right generation (ie, my elbow skin doesn't pucker enough) or because I'm not from the right country (read, not English) but I found this book highly annoying.I read the book feeling like the woman in the dentist's waiting room who shocked and outraged Truss when she said she was listening to the "hi-fi" that Truss wanted to turn off. There was so much of Truss' rant that I just didn't get. There was a preoccupation with class that also escaped me. Probably the whole not being British thing. Truss rants about rudeness but then disparages people who are "pro-social." She fusses about people who call her cell phone when she has bad reception but somehow can't come up with the solution of turning it off.I guess I'm just not in tune with the Grumpy Old Lady school of thought.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The latest polemic from Lynne Truss rails against bad manners, indifference, a lack of empathy and a general attitute of "Eff Off." Unlike in "Eats, Shoots and Leaves," she doesn't suggest we take stickers to signs or do something that publicly shames the perpetrators of bad manners. Rather, she satirically points out 6 excellent reasons to give up on all humanity and live in our own little bubble of personal manners. She examines reasons people may not want to be polite, the mental blocks against "Please," and "I'm sorry" and then gives suggestions on how to become a polite example to the world. You don't have to be self-effacing or kow-tow to people (I always wondered how to spell that-this book was the first time I've seen it in print) in order to be polite and make the world more comfortable for yourself and everyone else.This book is a quick read and has its funny moments. But, as with her other books, she is very British and all her examples are British. In fact, it amazed me to know she considered Americans more polite than the British. Yes, I found a few spots where I realized I was guilty of her versions of rudeness, and yes, I found myself saying "Stop being a ludite-the Net is here to stay." She won't be taking Emily Post's job anytime soon, but this is a nice reminder to be nice.