Let's Get Physical

By Maureen Reil

To: All Readers
Subject: Let’s Get Physical

Hello all,

This is an email to tell you about Millie Reed’s story. She is an identical twin sister to Megan Fitzpatrick and they have not spoken for years because Megan stole the love of Millie’s life and married Milo. Millie returns home for the funeral of their grandmother. Well things are said, things are agreed and things are changed forever when they decide to do a sister swap and take on each other’s lives for one month. Will Millie be able to become Megan and make her proud? Will Millie, acting as Megan, manage to mend the marriage to Milo? Will Millie overcome obstacles preventing her happiness, or have regrets in the end at being more like Megan than she bargained for? They do say never work with children or animals and always leave your ego at the door so this just proves that theory as sound advice. Pity nobody followed it.

Enjoy this British, humour filled novel and discover how physical appearance mixed with physical attraction can lead to physical exhaustion from the comical complications of trying to be like someone you will never quite be like, no matter how much you want it.

Take care and speak again soon.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Maureen Reil
• Release date: Jun 5, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310692734

Maureen Reil

Maureen Reil writes comic commercial fiction and has had over 35 books published, so far, but she's always working on a new manuscript so she wishes to add to that tally with lots of new titles before she's done and dusted. She was born in the city of Liverpool and resides in semi-rural Lancashire UK, but longs to live by the sea. It was always a dream of hers to become a novelist and thanks to her readers, she has fulfilled that ambition, so she couldn't be more grateful if she tried. And Maureen hopes you enjoying reading her books as much as she enjoys writing them.

Book preview

Let’s Get Physical

By Maureen Reil

Copyright ©2014 Maureen Reil

Updated Edition 2021

This book is entirely a work of fiction.

The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

Maureen Reil asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

Also by the author Maureen Reil

Chick-Lit By Any Other Name (Chick-Lit Collection)

Chick-Lit By Any Other Name 2 (Chick-Lit Collection)

Lily Loves To Love

Sleepyhead Shares A Secret

I Hate Me, Who Do You Hate?

I Did Write What I Know

Chick-Lit Saved My Life (Chick-Lit Trilogy book 1)

Chick-Lit Stole My Life (Chick-Lit Trilogy book 2)

Chick-Lit Staged My Life (Chick-Lit Trilogy book 3)

Chick-Lit Collection

Chick-Lit Trilogy

Mistletoe And Wine (Christmas Comedy Trilogy)

Mistletoe And Wine 2 (Christmas Comedy Trilogy)

Mistletoe And Wine 3 (Christmas Comedy Trilogy)

Christmas Comedy Trilogy

Let’s Get Married (Let’s Get Funny Fiction)

Let’s Get Together (Let’s Get Funny Fiction)

Let’s Get Serious (Let’s Get Funny Fiction)

Let’s Get It Started (Let’s Get Funny Fiction)

Let’s Get Ready To Rumble (Let’s Get Funny Fiction)

The Finch Family Short Break (Comical Vacations Book 0)

The Finch Family Holiday 1 (Comical Vacations)

The Finch Family Holiday 2 (Comical Vacations)

The Finch Family Holiday 3 (Comical Vacations)

The Finch Family Holiday 4 (Comical Vacations)

The Finch Family Holiday 5 (Comical Vacations)

The Finch Family Easter Holiday 6 (Comical Vacations)

The Finch Family Bank Holiday 7 (Comical Vacations)

The Finch Family Christmas Holiday 8 (Comical Vacations)

A Granny Is For Life, Not Just Christmas

Let’s Get Funny Fiction 1 (Three-Book Bundle)

Let’s Get Funny Fiction 2 (Three-Book Bundle)

Let’s Get Funny Fiction (Six-Book Box Set)

Comical Vacations 1 (Three-Book Bundle)

Comical Vacations 2 (Three-Book Bundle)

Comical Vacations 3 (Three-Book Bundle)

Christmas Crackers

Wed To The Wrong Wayne

The Desperate Dater’s Intervention

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Things Can Only Get Better

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Luck Had Nothing To Do With It

Dedicated to

Stephen Sutton

Teenage Cancer Trust

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 1

If anyone thought that I was hiding at the top of the stairs from the love of my life during my grandmother’s wake, then they would be right. For I am secretly spying on Milo whilst pretending to be interested in what my adorable seven year old niece (named Ava) is drawing on a tablet. As she shows me a picture of a horse/donkey/zebra type thing, which I compliment her on but she shakes her head to say no before she lets me know that it is a camel. I knew that and I was only playing a guessing game with her, or at least that is what I told her when I got it so very wrong which I tend to do with most things on a personal level. Like with ‘The One’ that got away, who I took for granted at university when foolishly thinking that he was mine forever and I am now looking at that beautifully handsome but manly face from a side on angle and any angle is worth a stare or a daydream at what could have been as far as I am concerned. I have been doing this all day at the church funeral and burial of our beloved grandmother, avoiding him I mean whilst avoiding getting close enough to actually start up a conversation. Only for me to stand at the back of everything when, trying to become invisible after giving a polite nod and a forced smile to my twin sister (namely Megan, whilst I am Millie and you are reading my story).

‘Mummy is prettier than you, isn’t she?’ said Ava, holding the tablet up to my face to compare me with a picture of Megan that she had on it. My twin is smiling in the shot and I am currently not.

‘Well if your mother didn’t dye her brunette hair blonde then she would look exactly like me and you wouldn’t be able to tell us apart. Nobody can, when we’re together,’ I reply to put her straight on that matter. I mean, it is not as if I am the ugly sister here.

‘My mummy is happy and looks like a movie star and you don’t.’

‘I guess that’s why your daddy chose to marry her,’ I say and I nearly added, instead of me but I stopped myself because Ava does not need to know our intertwining history.

‘Daddy doesn’t live here anymore. I want him to, but Mummy doesn’t,’ said Ava and children are so very direct about their feelings.

‘Why don’t you show me more of your artwork?’ I asked the child in order to change the subject to something less unsettling.

‘Hmmm, I’m going to draw you and Mummy next.’

‘Would you like me to draw it for you? I am good at art, you know.’

‘No . . . I’m going to do it. Mummy said I could use her tablet, not you,’ she replied and I guess that put me in my place, so I left her to it whilst I carried on spying. When Ava finished, she held it up to show me what she had done. And I might have sussed that Megan would be smiling in it with a golden mane of hair and it may as well be an angel’s halo, whilst I am looking like something downtrodden out of ‘Les Miserables’ and that’s the nice way of putting it.

Milo was in the middle of talking with Crystal who is our old friend and large busty blonde neighbour (that still lives next-door with her parents whilst scrounging off them) so he did not notice me up above them when I was kneeling down on the landing for this was the way; I was trying to keep it. I leant forward to listen in on what they were saying just in case it was something to do with an affair of some kind because that would explain the mystery breakup of my sister and her husband. When leaning on the child safety, stair rail gate in order to have my ear as far forward as I could get it without the said chatting couple spotting me behind the white bars in my self-imposed prison. This would be the same metal railing that I now find myself sliding down the stairs on, for it was loose and came away from the wall and post altogether under my weight as I gripped onto it for dear life for a quick white-knuckle ride while I surf down the steps on it on all fours.

Only to crash into the tall, thin hat and coat stand at the bottom. This in turn sees it toppling on top of me to smother me in outdoor clothing along with various headgears, including a pink bike helmet that had plonked me on my head for my trouble. It could knock some sense into me no doubt. So much for me staying incognito when the whole roomful of people falls silent and turns to look in my direction to witness me being helped up and out of an embarrassing situation by Milo, who came rushing to my rescue. If I ignore them sniggering at me, hopefully, they will soon ignore me too to go about their business once more of celebrating the life of our dear grandmother. This is, after all, the main reason we are here in the first place and it is not to discuss my infamous breakup with Milo. As I begin to hear, the whisperings start up all around me. There is no getting away from it now that we have finally made contact with each other.

‘Are you okay? That was some joyride you did there,’ says Milo as he reaches down for me with a chuckle at how funny I must have looked to others, whilst lifting not only me up but the coat stand too.

‘Thanks all the same, but I can take it from here,’ I replied and let go of his hand. Whilst there are a million and one things, I would love to say to him but my mouth goes dry and the words will not come so I pick up the coats one by one instead. As I try to quietly, moisten my throat with some saliva that I bring up but he probably thinks that I am about to actually spit at him with the strange gurgling sounds I am making. It was very unladylike I must say seeing as that kind of thing is hardly going to endear me to anyone, let alone him.

‘That would not have happened, if I had put the gate up. Only you know how stubborn your sister can be so she probably got it out of the garage and did it herself. Megan would not let me help with any of this. She only invited me along because I helped to look after your grandmother and loved her like my own. In fact, I would hardly see my kid if she had her way because she has pencilled me out of their life just like that and intends to carry on without me as if I don’t exist but I’m not having it, I tell you.’ Megan wears specs nowadays. I do not.

‘Well that’s between the two of you and has nothing to do with me.’

‘Between our solicitors more like,’ said Milo as he glanced over to where my sister is standing while she chats with a friend from work who she did introduce me to earlier on when we got back here, that goes by the name of Ewan Boyle. I can tell just by the way that Milo looks at her that he is still in love with Megan and does not want the separation let alone a divorce but it is his wife, who is pushing for it.

‘You still have a lovely daughter together no matter what happens between the two of you, so you are blessed in that respect.’

‘Yeah, yes we are and I keep telling her that but would Megan listen when I tried to explain what it will do to Ava if we don’t at least try to get back to where we were, before we give up on us altogether.’ He appears so sad that I want to hug him to make it all better and make the hurt go away but I do not for fear of it then being misinterpreted by all as a sign of my forgiveness when it is so not over (for me anyway). Seeing as I have carried this stupid grudge against them around for so long that I have surely gone slightly bitter with it. Time to let it go, or I will only drive myself nuts with jealousy otherwise.

‘Huh, I’m the last person you should be telling this too. Speak to Megan if you feel that strongly about getting back together. You never know, it just might work out for the best.’

‘Like I said, she won’t listen to me but she might listen to you. Megan has been waiting for you to show up and forgive her, forgive us I should say, since you left. She has been acting weird these last few months and will not tell me what is up with her. Will you have a word with your sister whilst you are here to make her see sense?’

‘I’ll try for Ava’s sake but I can’t guarantee it will help matters.’

‘Thanks, that’s all I ask and I guess I’m forgiven if you’re actually speaking to me after ignoring me all day.’

‘Oh I wouldn’t go that far, but I suppose it is all water under the bridge and what’s done is done so we should just move on and forget about it.’ I once recall that I badly wanted to marry this dude and have his babies and nothing else mattered to me. While no man has had that kind of effect on me since, for nothing would have made me happier than to have this wish come true but it is my sister’s family to throw away at her whim if she chooses to do so. I think Megan must be mad but obviously, I do not know all the details so I should not judge her just yet until I do. It is worth sticking around to find out.

‘If it is any consolation . . . I did love you, you know, back then,’ he says and my heart lurches to hold him and rewind time but I cannot.

‘Hmm, but like you said . . . that was back then and this is now.’

‘Ha, I will never get over the fact that there are two of you.’

‘You married the blonde one don’t forget, not the brunette so it should be easy to tell us apart,’ I snap and I guess I am still not that happy about it even after all I said about moving on. I must have lied.

‘You know, you have woken up my toddler with all that racket you caused and it looks like he’s not going back to sleep so I’ll have to go and see to him now . . . but we’ll pick up where we left off soon, yeah,’ says Crystal firstly to me as she shakes the baby monitor in my face. Then to Milo, who, she smiles at with much longing in lust. I know how she feels.

‘I had wondered why there was a child safety gate there in the first place. I knew Ava was too old for it,’ I said as I pick up the last garment off the ground slowly to make the moment last longer because now that the ice has been broken between us, well, I have decided all of a sudden that I want us to become friends again. That is if we can manage it without causing more hurt along the way.

‘Crystal has a kid nowadays . . . but she is not saying who the father is. So nobody knows who is to blame for her poor parents having to help pay for the rearing of their grandchild,’ he says to explain the situation. I know about this already. I looked online at her social sites.

‘Well that’s not right. She has lovely parents so they don’t deserve to pay for another man’s privilege,’ I agreed, whilst looking around the room to see if there were any takers here who fit the bill. The only two fit men capable of fathering a child with Crystal and are over the age of consent and under the age of retirement are Ewan Boyle and Milo Fitzpatrick but as one is gay and the other is well, married to Megan so it is that I have ruled them both out of the equation.

‘What’s not fair is that he gets out of child maintenance and off the hook, scot-free so to speak. Whilst the likes of me, has to pay through the nose and doesn’t even get to see their child as often as I’d like.’

‘Well there’s nothing stopping you now . . . Ava has drawn a smashing picture of a camel . . . you should go and see it,’ I suggest but I do hope she does not show him the drawing of me looking like I have a serious disease, or at least someone has just told me as much.

‘I’ll do that. I will go up and see it now and while I’m at it, I’ll put that safety gate back up properly shall I?’ says Milo, climbing the stairs with the railing to hand. I must admit, I had a sneaky peak at his bum as he went up the steps. If Crystal can flirt with him then I can get my kicks too, but in secret, since I do not want any comeback on it.

Crystal the (single mother) neighbour was shamefully flirting with Milo so she gave me daggers for spoiling her play for him. I do not think he was that interested in her anyway for he had leaned back onto the banister in a bid to escape her closing in on his personal space. It is obvious that Milo is also trying to stay in the background and out of sight too. This is why he’s not out there mixing with everyone else like the social butterfly that my twin sister Megan is and is still presently doing. We are the complete opposite of each other in that way for Megan is outgoing and I am not, whilst I prefer one person’s company (usually my own) to that of many people.

The old bungalow, which had belonged to my grandmother when we were growing up, was bought off her by my sister and her husband Milo years ago when they had moved in to look after her with her failing health. Before it was extended over time to include the very staircase I just came down with a bang, along with adding the extra two bedrooms and another bathroom upstairs. Whilst the ground floor is no longer, divided into separate rooms as it was when I was last here but being open plan as far as dining/kitchen and living quarters go. The two, original bedrooms and bathroom remain in place but have been given the modern treatment too with plenty of built-in storage. I had a good view of everyone who had turned up for the wake from up there so I could ‘keep tabs’ on them and thus know when it was safe to travel to the loo or buffet and not be accosted by anyone I knew who also knew what went down with us three. The sex triangle I was in that I did not know about at first until I did and it was too late by then, for they were already in love and wanting a never-ending circle instead. This meant marriage and a ring to bond them forever or so everyone thought at the time. I was out in the cold.

Of course, I never went to their nuptials because it would have killed me to witness their union. Only I could not, not come to the funeral of our dear old grandmother and show my respect for the lovable woman who took over the mothering of us two, having been an older mother herself when she had had Mum. Our own darling mother sadly died far too young from lung cancer (indeed she put up with the cough and gave up the fags too late for treatment). We lost Mum along with a piece of ourselves at the time so we clung to each other in grief. As Megan and I never imagined in our strangest nightmares that a bloke could ever come between my identical twin sister and me to destroy our unbreakable bond but he did and that person was Milo, my own brother-in-law. The man we understand to be our father, in name only, for he did not marry our mother so we did not take his surname of Pratt (now there is a blessing in disguise). He did not bother to show up to take part in our lives because we were nothing but double trouble to him. For he never wanted kids in the first place so he took off for Australia to get away from us and as far as we’re aware, he’s been mining for opals ever since and he could have died out there for all we know, or care, seeing as he never cared about us.

The reason that I have not been back to town since stems from that wretched day. The day I left for good and vowed never to speak to either of them ever again or indeed return home or so I had thought until I found myself here once more. It was also the day that changed the path I had assumed that I would take, until I caught my boyfriend in my bed with my twin sister and my secure world as I knew it came crashing down around my ears. Well I packed my bags and fled south to London to start a new life because I had a friend (Gus) down there that put me up and put up with me, where I worked hard and wound up being a scenic designer in the movie industry. It involves a lot of travelling to various film shoots, which I never used to mind as it kept me busy and kept my mind off stuff that I would rather forget.

Because I could not forgive them both for the betrayal and distress that I blamed on them at the subsequent loss of my own infant. When I gave birth to his baby girl but our darling daughter was unfortunately a stillborn. So I never got to hold her in my arms and the chance to nurture her through a rewarding existence whilst it breaks my heart all over again when I look at my healthy niece for she could have had an older half-sister to grow up with these past nine years. So I had stepped aside and let them get on with it, get on with marriage, get on with raising a child together and having a loving union until they find themselves going through a divorce to break