Kookaburra Cackle Kangaroo Scat: Short Stories in Verse

By Philip L. Carroll

"It was early last December, as near as I can remember, I was walking down the street slightly tipsyfied. No one was I disturbing as I sat down by the kerbing, and a pig came up and sat down by my side. As I sat there in the gutter, thinking thoughts I could not utter, a lady passing by was heard to say. ‘You can tell someone who boozes by the company he chooses,’ and the pig got up and slowly walked away." Exploring a wide range of subjects with the lyric wit of his poetry, Philip Carroll delivers a delightful read that has universal appeal. Stories of powerful emotions and human passions are woven into whimsical reflections, providing a depth of subject in a highly enjoyable style. Kookaburra Cackle Kangaroo Scat is an entertaining book that challenges the conventions of storytelling.

• Language: English
• Publisher: SBPRA
• Release date: Nov 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781628576306

Book preview

Pyramid

The Yackandandah Dam Digger

The Pommies and the Frenchies

Wanted a channel tunnel dug

The Yackandandah dam digger was interested

After all he was not just a mug

Renowned engineers had been invited

They had advertised world wide

Nevertheless the Yackandandah dam digger decided

He would go on for the ride

Over a hundred tenders were received

With detailed specifications called for

They would need the latest equipment

For a tunnel with the largest bore

Are all tenders in? the Superintendent asked

Well there is one more said his clerk with a snigger

"But it is really only a quote

From the Yackandandah dam digger"

So the Super said "Wait

Why don’t we have some fun

Let’s ask this Aussie yobbo

How he would get the job done"

The Yackandandah dam digger duly replied

"Labour is provided by me and my son

And I’ve got two beaut digging machines

So you get two for the price of one"

"We will both start at each end

It does not matter which one

And I will join it at the middle

When I meet up with my Son"

The Super smugly said "But if you are only one degree out at the start

In the middle you might not meet your son"

Said the Yackandandah dam digger "Well in that case

You will get two tunnels not just one"

The Murrumbidgee Drum and Fyfe Band

The Murrumbidgee Drum and Fyfe band were on their last legs

In fact they were right down on their luck

The band’s funds were so depleted

They had to think of something fast to make a buck

They wracked their brains to find a plan

But they felt they could not cope

They could not think of anything

That would give the band some hope

It wasn’t anybody’s fault you see

That the band had sunk so low

Each band member had done their best

And everybody had had a go

The band leader said "We have tried

Almost everything in the book

So we could use a tried and true method

Why don’t we raffle a chook"

So they decided to conduct a raffle

And go from town to town

They would visit all the people

In the streets both up and down

The band leader was calling on the good people

And he was collecting lots of cash

The rich and the poor gave what they could

Some ladies even gave him a pash

Then he came upon a grand old house

The best one in the street

He thought that he would do all right

And that the band would do a treat

He could see an old lady sitting in an easy chair

On the verandah as quiet as a mouse

So he opened the gate and went on in

And made his way up to the house

Good morning Madam he cheerily said

And held out his hand

"Would you like to buy a raffle ticket

For the Murrumbidgee Drum and Fyfe band ?"

THE OLD WOMAN HELD HER HAND TO HER EAR AND SAID AAAAYYY

Madam, I am collecting for the Murrumbidgee Drum and Fyfe band

THE OLD WOMAN HELD HER HAND TO HER EAR AND SAID AAAAYYY

Madam, I am asking people if they would like to donate some money to the Murrumbidgee Drum and Fyfe band

THE OLD WOMAN HELD HER HAND TO HER EAR AND SAID AAAAYYY

The band leader said Oh never mind and made his way back down the path

After all he had had a long and tiring day and it was getting late

And as he reached the end of the path the old lady called out

Please don’t forget to shut the gate

The band leader whispered softly OH STUFF THE GATE

He had said it just ‘Off hand’

But the old lady shouted out loud

AND STUFF YOU TOO AND STUFF THE MURRUMBIDGEE DRUM AND FYFE BAND

Have You Seen Australia

So you’re leaving on your world trip, mate

The one you have planned all your life

A reward for yourself and your good woman

For Sheila, your loving wife

But just before you go, Blue

On your dream trip to see the northern lights

Have you thought about what is in our own backyard

Have you seen our wonders and sights

Have you seen Blueys Beach at Newcastle

Or the Yarra River flowing through Melbourne City

The Beach Huts in Port Phillip Bay

Kogarah and the beautiful Jacarandah Tree

Have you seen the view from Red Hill Lookout

Over the mighty Murray River

Dove Lake at Cradle Mountain

Australia’s beauty will make you quiver

The Three Sisters rock formation at Katoomba

Yellow Water wetlands and Nourlangie Rock at Kakadu

Camel Rock 6kms from Bermagui

These are things that you should do

The Natural Bridge west of Springbrook

The Richmond Bridge in Tasmania

Craigs Hut which was in The Man from Snowy River

These choices should be a no brainer

Crakenback Supertrail Snowy Mountains

Lake King in Lakes National Park

But look out for the Yowie

If you are there after dark

And what about Islands such as Hamilton

Remarkable Rocks at Kangaroo

Frenchmans Bay at Stradbroke

These are the trips that you should do

Sunset on Fannie Bay, Darwin

The magnificent flame trees at Chillagoe

The