Essentials of Pre-Marital Counseling: Creating Compatible Couples

By Sandra L. Ceren and Michael J. Salamon

Expand Your Clinical Practice with this Practical Hands-on Guide

Teach conflict resolution skills to your couples

Introspective quizzes expose more of couples' inner lives and past history to each other

Real-life exercises let couples practice cooperative decision- making and compromise before a crisis happens.

Couples will discover and have the opportunity to change bad habits which threaten the viability of the relationship.

Therapists Acclaim for Essentials of Pre-Marital Counseling

"An invaluable ten-week program of specific steps to evaluate a relationship, detect warning signs and avoid disastrous pitfalls before committing to marriage."
--Holly A. Hunt, PhD, author of Essentials of Private Practice

"What I find most rewarding about this book is what Dr. Ceren refers to as 'The art of gracious compromise'-or what may be called-how to get along in your relationship. Therapists take heed, this book is for you and your clients! You will benefit greatly."
--Michael J. Salamon, Ph.D., FICPP, Senior Psychologist/Director, Adult Developmental Center, Author of The Shidduch Crisis

"A remarkable roadmap to a healthy relationship and insight into self, written by a therapist who combines experience and skill in improving the lives of others."
--Rosalee G. Weiss, PhD Diplomate, American Board of Psychological Specialties Learn more about the author at www.DrSandraLevyCeren.com

Book #7 in the New Horizons in Therapy Series

from Loving Healing Press www.LHPress.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Loving Healing Press Inc
• Release date: Jun 1, 2008
• ISBN: 9781615999811

Sandra L. Ceren

Sandra L. Ceren, Ph.D. was born and primarily educated in New York, but she has spent the last several decades on the California coast. She completed the training program in New York at the American Institute of Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy. A practicing clinical psychologist for over forty years, she has earned the status of Diplomate from the American Board of Family Psychology. She is a Fellow of the Academy of Family Psych-ology and a member of the Academy of Psychologists in Marital and Family Therapy. She is a former editor of The Family Psychologist. Based on her research and long experience with couples of all ages--those contemplating marriage for the first time, or after several relationships, she has developed a unique premarital counseling program. The materials she has created have proven reliable in determining compatibility and emotional readiness for marriage. The personalized program teaches effective communication and conflict resolution skills applicable to daily life. Apart from direct contact with clients, she reports on mental health research and answers queries in a weekly health column Ask Dr. Ceren. This popular column has been published in newspapers over many years. Dr. Ceren is well known to the media as an expert in relationships and has appeared on Oprah!, Good Morning America, and BBC World News. She has a passion for writing fiction too. Prescription For Terror, the first of her series of psychological thrillers featuring a psychologist/sleuth was published in 1999, followed by Secrets From The Couch in 2002. Many of her short stories have been published in anthologies. Her personal and professional experiences have contributed to her understanding and compassion for others. She has firsthand experience in marriage, separation, divorce, single parenting, and the contentment of a second marriage. Her thoughtful husband-to-be agreed to her decision to wait several years until her children were grown. She now enjoys a quiet lifestyle and the luxurious role of grandmother. Learn more about Dr. Sandra L. Ceren, read blog postings, and the latest news at www.DrSandraLevyCeren.com

Reviews for Essentials of Pre-Marital Counseling

[dwgodby_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a very insightful and helpful book. It gives practical advice on what a counselor can do to best help their clients. There are many illustrations that give various points of view, giving one a better understanding of personality traits and how clients might possibility respond in various situations. There is a very nice breakdown on what a 10 session premarital program might look like, sharing the importance of both single and joint counseling sessions. There are personality and relationship quizzes to take and then great details given concerning answers those particular questions. There is also included an all important chapter on "Communication and Conflict Resolution." The author lists the role of the listener as well as the presenter and the importance of both. This is vital within the life of any marriage and very helpful information. Then role playing situations are staged allowing each individual to see how the other person may feel in a given situation. This is helpful to allow one from being so opinionated and more open minded to what their partner may be going through. Giving one a different perspective or point of view would be huge to avoid difficulty within a marriage. There are case studies included that will help one to see the various type of situations that a couple could face and options of how they could be handled in a positive manner. There are some partners who will not change no matter what and there are examples of that as well.Also included is a great resource section that allows the reader to dig in further concerning a particular topic or issue that they would like additional information about. The detailed premarital quiz at the end of the book could be invaluable to better understanding one's future mate, thus allowing the opportunity to cut down on future frustration.I would recommend this book to premarital counselors as a great resource. Author Sandra L. Ceren, PhD. does a fantastic job of helping one to consider many items that could be overlooked that would allow one to avoid costly mistakes.5 of 5 stars

[kratz_2 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Lacking a faith focus, this book is helpful for non-christians who do not wish a faith basis in their marriage.

[chilemery · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I am a Christian pastor and work a lot with married couples, both in ministry and in counseling. As such, I have read quite a number of books on marital and pre-marital counseling. I have to say that Ceren's volume is undoubtedly the worst text I have read on the subject. It is not that there is nothing of value in it, but what insights or suggestions to be found that are of value -- and they are too few and too far between -- are not in the least unique. That is to say, you've probably occurred to you by way of common sense and you own experience or you've already heard them or could hear them in a more well-written, interesting and useful book on relationship counseling. I certainly can't speak to Ceren's capabilities regarding live-and-in-person counseling with couples; hopefully she is very competent face to face. But I can confidently assert that she was incapable of transmitting well whatever skills she might have to the printed word.

[crazypsychobooklover · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

We all know that a large percentage of American marriages end in divorce. These numbers are even higher for subsequent marriages. No one gets married planning to have it fail. However, many couples put more emphasis on planning the wedding than they do on planning the actual marriage. As a Therapist, you have a wonderful opportunity to assist couples in learning how to make the marriage work after the actual wedding ceremony and honeymoon end. Dr. Sandra Ceren has put together a remarkably easy to follow and understand counseling blueprint for couples considering marriage. Real life case studies and examples will lead the therapist through a series of ten meetings and discussions with couples. Using her ideas and proven methods, the therapist can assist couples in finding areas of probable conflict, work through them, and emerge a stronger team after counseling sessions.Dr. Ceren combines education and experence to assist couples in the "art of gracious compromise", lessons that would serve most of us in both our personal and professional relationships. The author writes frankly and honestly about the need to actually know a partner before marriage, and offers quizzes that can help your clients explore each other's personality, personal history and thought processes. I found the entire book well written, excellently presented and very well organized. It's obvious Dr. Ceren has put much work into this guide. I firmly believe that any therapist hoping to include marital/premarital counseling in their practice should keep a copy of this book close by........it will be referred to again and again.

[paulm_543819 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

First is full disclosure: I'm a conservative Presbyterian pastor who cannot imagine pre-marital (or any other) counseling that is not rooted in the Holy Scriptures.With that said, Dr. Ceren's book can be helpful for those who are first learning how to do pre-marital counseling well. Rather than use her book as a strict model I would encourage counselors to read the book and pick out from it the most helpful elements. I have more specific critiques about some of the content but these critiques come down to "worldview" disagreements. Christian pastors looking to do Biblical pre-martial counseling should, on the whole, look elsewhere. The book is not without merit but comes from a different perspective on the objectives and intricacies of marriage.

[publicchristian · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed reading this book, profited from it, and will certainly use it as a reference, and to help me keep perspective in my own counseling situations.She sets out a ten-session pre-marital counseling program, explaining what to do with each session. I do not foresee using that outline, but it is helpful to follow her through her reasons and strategies.The heart of the book is two long self-surveys for each individual to fill out. Then they are talked through with the counselor. "Fill out" is inadequate as the questions (100 on the "Relationship Quiz" and 58 on the "Personality Quiz") are the type that usually require more than a 1-word answer. No doubt some answers could go on to more than a page.The "Relationship Quiz" comes with a second copy within which the author adds her own comments about the significance of the questions and/or the significance of possible answers. This is all helpful, allowing us the benefit of her experienced insight in a very practical, as against theoretical, context.There is helpful content on conflict resolution, including a number of suggested role-playing situations, again with helpful comments from the author about each one.Helpful additional chapters treat "personality disorders" and other interesting personality tendencies that are not necessarily diagnosable.The author's extensive experience lend to the book's realism, but that realism did not leave me with a negative feeling. She communicates hopefulness about marriage relationships, even in some pretty challenging situations.There is no index, but the short bibliographic section at the back got me interested in pursuing some other resources, including the idea of "Cinema Therapy".There are some linguistic oddities that usually are an obvious result of not quite enough editing. I could probably list two dozen. (An example: "If he is chooses not to complain ...") That's unfortunate, because the quality of the content deserves a little better treatment in the process of getting published.But the book is substantial and sensible. I recommend it.

[johnfgaines_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Essentials of Premarital Counseling is written for clinical practitioners but its simple, easy-to-understand approach makes it useful for ministers, lay counselors, parents, friends, or engaged couples themselves. Just by statistics alone, marriage today is a flip of a coin -- about 50% of marriages end in divorce. It's obvious that some people should not get married because their personalities are so incompatible. Dr. Ceren's premarital questionnaires help couples identify problem areas where they can rationally evaluate themselves and decide whether or not their compatibility level is sufficient for them to have a successful marriage. Those who listen and seriously consider how compatible they are will greatly improve their chances for successful marriage. Not everyone who is 'head over heels' in love will pay attention to a book like this -- or to premarital counselors who might try to share this information. But those who will listen benefit by going into marriage with their eyes open. Highly practical and easy-to-read. The author keeps the psychological mumbo-jumbo to a minimum as she deals with a wide variety of potential problem areas.