Tattooed Lesbian Jailbird and other Chronicles

By Jon Van Loon

A must read for the short story fan who likes to be entertained and mentally challenged. This compendium is a heterogeneous collection of stories. Those who enjoy humor and intrigue will find much to enjoy. Most of the offerings herein are diverting and cheerful. However beware approaching sections toward the end. These have material that will provide examples of controversial subject matter of urgent contemporary concern. The material in these will likely either anger or shock even the thoughtful reader or perhaps accomplish both.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jon Van Loon
• Release date: May 23, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310433313

Jon Van Loon

My life has been complicated by 3 factors. A severe learning disability and a bipolar condition could have easily doomed me to a troubled, non productive existence. However a prodigious unrelenting manic drive was the burr under my saddle that propelled me to unexpected achievement in academia. Of interest here in this regard was that developments in my laboratory at the University of Toronto lead me to opportunities to work, teach and live for short periods in many locations on the 6 continents over a 25 year period. During these intervals, I chose to live in local category accommodation thus maximizing my exposure and participation in parochial experiences. In contrast to the calamitous relationships dogging present world interrelationships my experiences were entirely welcoming and solicitous.I was born in Hamilton Ontario Canada. My interests include jogging and other fitness programs having run in and completed 4 marathons together with numerous 5, 10 and 20 km events. My prowess in sport to say the least was very average. Non-the-less I participated in and then later coached ice hockey both in Canada and Australia. My reward for all this activity is that I have a healthy cardiovascular system and have endured 3 knee replacement operations. Most particularly I have a passion for work related to environmental concerns. In this regard I have 120 peer reviewed research papers in Environmental Chemistry, one of which nearly landing me in jail.

Book preview

Tattooed Lesbian Jailbird and other Chronicles

By Jon Van Loon

Copyright Jon Van Loon 2014

Smashwords Edition

Chapter 1

The Tattooed Lesbian Jailbird

Catastrophe hit one wet December evening. A woman passerby was traumatized to discover a badly mangled body lying splayed in a blood covered, dirty, snow bank adjacent to a seldom used walkway behind the Carlaw Bloor-Danforth subway station. Her anguished screams brought a concerned young man who promptly called 911 to report the incident. Then as a small token of comfort he guided her away from the scene and helped her back into to station to wait for the authority’s arrival.

Professor/Dr. Boson Ion was rushing from the lab to catch his train home. Despite his tardiness Boson meticulously gathered up his laboratory book and assorted notes containing all our key results and stuffed these into his brief case which accompanied him home. Boson seemed to have some strange fixation that it was crucially important without fail to catch the 5:45pm train from nearby Mount Joy station, a fact I failed to understand since trains ran from this station every 15 minutes. Although being about 5 minutes late in departing the laboratory it was clear from police enquiries of other passenger/acquaintances that he had caught his usual train. In addition about 6:00pm he had disembarked as usual at Carlaw station for the 500m walk to his home on Darlington Cres. He never reached his destination.

Professor/Dr. Boson Ion (please call me Boson) was without question the most innovative and talented researcher in the field of Cold Laser Physics. In fact his work alone had transformed a relatively obscure University/Government laboratory in Sydney Australia into a world renowned facility. On the other hand his physical appearance and self-effacing manner belied this elevated stature in his field. Boson Ion was of short stature and wiry build. He had a pleasant but not particularly handsome face. Of special note he walked quietly in quick hurried steps with the often disturbing result that he seemed to appear beside a person of his interest, suddenly and without audible warning.

My own research on Quantum Computing was facing serious pitfalls that dictated a radically fresh approach to data detection. Cold laser technology was my choice as the next direction that should be investigated. The field of Quantum Computing research was peopled by many of the most highly regarded researchers around the world. This is because such a device if constructed would be of so great strategic consequence that for example encryption would become decipherable in fractions of a second. The consequences would include national military secrets irretrievably exposed, bank accounts vulnerable to instant looting and confidential business secrets unprotected.

Commonly international conferences are the breeding ground for future important collaboration. Boson and I had been following each other’s related research published in the scientific literature. It was during an informal, research relevant, discussion at a conference in Paris that we decided a year working together could be of important mutual benefit. Boson had a highly developed sense for the design and assembly of innovative technological devices, while I was an idea man. I was able to obtain funding that allowed Boson and his family to come to live in Toronto for the following year. Now after just 6 months of research together Boson and his findings were lost to us forever. Of course I had a descriptive knowledge of what Boson had achieved in his brief tenure here. Frequently we had engaged in informal discussions mostly in the laboratory next to his work station. At these times Boson presented his progress, sometimes giving demonstrations of his latest experimentation and often provided an indication of how he saw the work progressing. I never felt it essential to look through his laboratory research results that he confined to his notebooks and to scraps of paper. However I did find it odd that each evening just before his departure all this information was secreted to his briefcase and transported home. I presumed this action was an indication that he worked on this material in the evenings.

Upon receiving the emergency call from the area of the Carlaw subway station the dispatcher sent police, paramedics and a truck form the nearest fire hall. As is often the case in such instances the fire truck was the first to arrive. Its disfigured condition left no doubt that the body they faced was lifeless and so the fire personnel simply took control off the area making certain nothing was disturbed before the police and paramedics could arrive. The police upon arrival cordoned off, using their typical orange tape, a surprising large segment that encompassed the whole area behind the station and extending south to the parking lot some 20 meters distant. The coroner was called. Paramedics having made a quick observation of the body turned their attention to comforting the poor distraught woman who first discovered the body.

The crime scene investigation procedures were thorough with extensive photography and sampling of the blood contaminated snow dominating, putting particular emphasis on areas near the body. All relevant samples were handled with clean plastic gloves, collected in uncontaminated containers and carefully labeled and bagged. A detailed scene log was kept. The head had been particularly brutalized and as a result his face was probably unidentifiable. A thorough search of the area for signs of the victim’s possessions and possible implements related to the murder was made. In the case of the latter a heavy mattock used in burdensome gardening applications was found discarded nearby. Upon release of the body for a closer examination by the coroner; the battered condition particularly of the head area suggested the victim was blindsided or at least was impacted without warning with a heavy blunt object, probably the mattock. The victim’s personal possessions were found intact in the clothing and suggested the body was that of Professor/Dr. Boson Ion. After the crime scene investigation was complete, the coroner arranged for transportation of the body to the morgue via a medical examiner’s vehicle in the usual manner. Much more detail of the crime would be available next day after the autopsy.

If this was not enough stress for a bereaved family let alone the ramifications of Boson’s high scientific stature, then everything else that could, began to go wrong. No witnesses were located at the time or after a public appeal had been made. At the time of the initial investigation there was no knowledge or indication that Boson had been in possession of a brief case. Upon acquiring this knowledge an extensive search of the crime scene area and the subway system was made but this important item was never found.

Next day frenzy ensued when Boson’s wife, Photon turned up for the official identification, a prescribed formality no matter the condition of the body in question. Incredibly upon opening the appropriate vault the Coroner and Photon discovered nothing inside. A subsequent search of all the other compartments ensued and none contained Boson’s remains. Thus all that survived was Boson’s blood and urine soaked clothing and personal effects. These included his wallet with all identification, credit cards and money intact, keys and a distinctive handkerchief that together with his clothing had been removed and bagged. When the morgue records were carefully scrutinized all the proper routing entries and chain of custody records were found to be in order. An autopsy had been scheduled to be performed the following day.

A thorough testing had discovered 2 sets of DNA. These were both present in most of the samples taken at the crime scene. The large quantity of blood present suggested that a violent struggle had occurred before the murderer got the upper hand and dispatched the victim with the mattock. Both DNA signatures were studied and one was consistent with Boson Ion. The signature of the other was run through all available data bases with no matches being discovered. However it was clear that this DNA could be identified as having been from someone with Asian origin. The murderer was never found.

The Finger prints found on the personal information contained in the items found on the body were also those of Boson Ion. Comparison of dental records with the jaw of the deceased would be of no help due to the loss of the body and in any case would probably have been invalidated by the mutilated condition of the jaw area as observed at the site of the murder.

Boson’s identification was reluctantly endorsed many days later, on the basis of Photons recognition of his possessions, Boson’s finger prints on personal possessions and the extensive DNA testing of his clothing and snow. As one might suppose there was Hell to pay. Not only had a world famous guest scientist been killed in Canada, but his body had subsequently been lost. The latter occurred in a system that up to that point had a spotless security record. The investigations involved 3 levels of police and presumably our intelligence service, the CIS. After many months of thorough scrutiny and review of all the facts in the case, the mess ended up a total mystery. A subsequent formal independent inquiry although critical of the already stringent procedures and precautions that could have resulted in the loss of the body of a foreign national of such high stature; had to conclude that the problems were likely compounded due to the involvement of persons or organizations at the very highest levels of criminal society. More specifically an as yet unspecified insider was presumed to have been a major conspirator.

In this regard there was also little doubt from my point of view that my friend and colleague’s murder was connected to adversaries in the Quantum Computing field. It stands to reason that there would be a variety of individuals and groups who would have wanted to ensure that Boson’s critical piece of this puzzle not be developed or at least not fall into hands other than their own. Because of the overwhelming significance of the power of Quantum computing the number of potential suspects ranged from individual scientist and engineers, through a large swath of the technology industry to the highest levels of governments of every stripe.

Some years after the above incident had occurred; the picture below came in an email from a very rich (by marriage) Australian woman, Mrs. Tau Muon-Ion, the daughter of my late Australian colleague and friend Professor/Dr. Boson Ion. Tau had found this partial photographic image of herself in the attic of the ancestral home amongst some recently discovered Boson possessions. A notation on the back indicated that the complete photo may lead to important information about the mystery and successful completion of the project.

Boson Ion was the real creative genius behind the technical aspects our endeavours. After his premature mysterious death, I was unable to complete the quantum computer research entailing Boson’s cold laser detection which it appeared he was about to perfect. Not to put too fine a point on this, the fact that I was never accosted in any way relating to Boson’s and my work, was proof