Paris- Through Aussie Eyes

By Leann Richards

Paris is wonderful. A city of light, beauty, awe inspiring monuments and Cathedrals. It is also a city of scams, shonky commercialisation and contradiction. This is an account of Paris as seen through Australian eyes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Leann Richards
• Release date: May 16, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311047342

Leann Richards

I am a juggler, a writer, a pretend magician, an historian and a teacher. I've published some books on Australian theatrical history through Ginninderra Books in Australia, and have just finished another on Australian juggling history which will be published in early 2022. Between juggling, researching history and teaching I like to write fairy tales. I live with my imagination in Sydney Australia.

Book preview

Paris -Through Aussie Eyes

By Leann Richards

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2014 Leann Richards

It’s a Jungle out there.

It’s a painful cage of animals fighting for survival. Man devolves; protection of territory is supreme and the struggle for sleep, space and sanity paramount. The primitive play unfolds to the sound of tribal, whirring, machine like, drums. It’s a jungle. It’s the long haul flight from Sydney to Paris.

In the beginning, the natives are civilised. They enter the arena, the plane, in an orderly fashion. Some come prepared with semi circular cushions around their necks fastened like metal collars. Others wear full make up, war paint, they carry large bags like weapons in their hands. Some show signs of wear with bandages wrapped around their legs, some travel in comfort with loose clothing and pyjama pants. Then there are the harried, already frazzled faces of parents dragging babbling, excited children by the hand. But, at first it is an organised rabble, a polite company who sit in their seats calm and still.

But then, the drums beat, the engines whirr, the necks stretch and the eyes dart frantically , forward to back, side to side, seeking, searching, calculating distances and predicting outcomes.

Suddenly there is movement, a quick flash and a leap across the aisle. A canny passenger has increased their personal space from one seat to two. Then behind, a sly leisurely stretch and another, who is in a line of four seats, has planted his feet on three and claimed a row. Another jump and more space is claimed. For the first 5 minutes of the flight, the travellers move places to enlarge their sphere. It’s an elaborate chess game, a game of skill and strategy and native cunning. Only the fittest, the smartest, the most experienced and those with the most intimidating stare, survive.

Despite the best intentions of flight attendants, aircraft designers and modern technology, 20 hours in a flying tin can surrounded by drunks, noisy children, old people, young people, smelly people, various electronic devices and being fed appalling airline food is a scene from a Bruegel nightmare.

In 24 hours the average passenger, despite extra space is tired, angry, hungry, jet lagged, stinky and desiccated. The polite people who entered the plane are a bunch of barely alive, clown faced zombies deposited on the other side of the planet. Thus is the lot of an Aussie flying to Paris.

If it’s on the internet, it must be true.

Parisians are rude,