Unexpectedly Eighty: And Other Adaptations

By Judith Viorst

Judith Viorst returns with more poems in her “Decades” poetry series detailing the highs and lows of being an octogenarian. Continuing the comedic insight from I’m Too Young to be Seventy, these verses of memories and advice from eighty years of love, marriage, and grandchildren are sure to bring laughs.

What does it mean to be eighty? In her wise and playful poems, Judith Viorst discusses love, friendship, grand parenthood, and all the particular marvels—and otherwise—of this extraordinary decade. She describes the wonder of seeing the world with new eyes—not because of revelation but because of a successful cataract operation. She promises not to gently fade away, and not to drive after daylight’s faded away either. She explains how she’s gotten to be a “three-desserts” grandmother (“Just don’t tell your mom!”), shares how memory failure can keep you married, and enumerates her hopes for the afterlife (which she doesn’t believe in, but if it does exist, her sister-in-law better not be there with her).

As Viorst gleefully attests, eighty is not too old to dream, to flirt, to drink, and to dance. It’s also not too late to give up being cheap or to take up with a younger man of seventy-eight. Zesty, hopeful, and full of the pleasures of living, Viorst’s poems speak to her legions of readers, who recognize themselves in her knowing observations, in her touching reflections, and in her joyful affirmations. Funny, moving, inspirational, and true—the newest in Judith Viorst’s beloved “decades” series extols the virtues, victories, frustrations, and joys of life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Release date: Oct 5, 2010
• ISBN: 9781439190302

Judith Viorst

Judith Viorst is the author of the beloved Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, which has sold some four million copies; the Lulu books, including Lulu and the Brontosaurus; the New York Times bestseller Necessary Losses; four musicals; and poetry for children and young adults. Her most recent books of poetry include What Are You Glad About? What Are You Mad About? and Nearing Ninety.

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And yet again, for Milton

Lingering sunsets, stay a little longer.

—Gordon Jenkins

Contents

Dedication

Epigraph

EIGHTYISH

One Hallmark of Maturity Is Having the Capacity to

Hold Two Opposing Ideas in Your Head at Once

Driving at Night

Been There, Done That

Up Here in Maine

What to Talk About

Ruth June

Seeing Is Disbelieving

Insurance, Eternity, John Quincy Adams, Polar Bears,

Lab Tests, and So Forth

House of Cards

Fifty Years Later

EIGHTIER

How I Know I’m Old

Missing

Revelation?

Delia and Max

Stopping by My Mirror on a Sunny Morning

Among My Grandchildren

Thinking About Great Sex

Washington Dinner Party

Easier

EXCEEDINGLY EIGHTY

Exceedingly Eighty

How to Stay Married

I Don’t Intend to Gently Fade Away

An Afterlife

Here at the Restaurant

It’s Not Too Late to Give Up Being Cheap

Just Because I’m Elderly Doesn’t Mean You Can Talk

to Me in Elderspeak

E-mail Is a Wonderful Way to Stay in Touch with the

Children

After Giving the Matter a Great Deal of Thought

Status Report

Eightyish

One Hallmark of Maturity

Is Having the Capacity to Hold Two

Opposing Ideas in Your Head at Once

Reviews for Unexpectedly Eighty

[deaconbernie · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Ordinarily, poetry is not something I would pursue. This book was a gift but it turned out to be a real gem. Becoming 80 is clearly unexpected but that doesn't mean life dries up. With an outlook like the author's, one might even want to look beyond 80 or even 85.