The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

By JP Mac

Experience a wild metaphysical rollercoaster in this tale of two men marketing a new method of instantly achieving serenity. Mystic forces, mass mail marketing, and resentments collide as the squabbling authors explain the backstory and benefits of a hot new, jargon-rich, spiritual discipline that can root you in serenity in less time than texting for pizza.

But something unexpected happens along the way, throwing their sales pitch into chaos. They now find themselves forced to question whether the cosmic short-cuts they tout might actually be true.

This light-hearted, self-help, satire is more fun than an ashram full of monkeys.Hold onto your chakras for a short fun ride!

• Language: English
• Publisher: JP Mac
• Release date: May 9, 2014
• ISBN: 9780991251926

JP Mac

Mac's short fiction has appeared in venues such as "The Best of Every Day Fiction Three, "The Cthulhu Mythos Mega Pack," and "Horror: California." A former assistant marathon coach with Team in Training, he enjoys authors such as Jack Vance and Raymond Carver. When not fleeing wildfires in the California hills, Mac is working on a horror novella.

Book preview

The Little Book of BIG ENLIGHTENMENT

By

JP Mac

The Little Book of Big Enlightenment

Copyright 2014 JP Mac

Library of Congress

All Rights Reserved

Published by Cornerstone Media

Smashwords Edition

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

And what of the Buddha who once gave a sermon by staring at a flower for hours? So intently did he focus that his eyes crossed and he appeared silly like the village drunk. Buddha's followers laughed, soiling their robes in mirth. Then they bought some pears.

—Krishnayapa

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Publisher’s Forward

Chapter One: RAPID ENLIGHTENMENT IS HERE NOW

First Clarification

Chapter Two: DISCOVERY OF THE NEO VIBE

Second Clarification

Chapter Three: BIG SPIRIT HATES YOU

Third Clarification

Chapter Four: CONDENSCED ENLIGHTENMENT EXPLAINED

Fourth Clarification

Chapter Five: DANGERS OF HYPER ENLIGHTENMENT

Fifth Clarification

Conclusion

Legal Disclaimer

About the Author

PUBLISHER’S FORWARD

This is very awkward, by which I mean ‘em-bar-ras-sing.’

We set out to publish a small book on spiritual enlightenment—we are publishers after all. Instead we gave birth to a brawl worthy of the Octagon. You are entitled to know more before reading—you are the reader, after all.

Spiritual master Lompoc Tollhaus was contracted by Cornerstone Media to expand on the subject of condensed enlightenment, a field that he pioneered. Shortly after inking the deal, Mr. Tollhaus contracted a strange New Age illness. For a time, it appeared he would be unable to complete this book. Due to various business arrangements—we are a business after all—we hired author JP Mac to finish the work. Guided by the notes of Mr. Tollhaus, Mr. Mac constructed a book that is—pardon the pun—as high-spirited as any in the New Age field.

Upon his recovery, Mr. Tollhaus was not amused. In gentle words, clearer than the crystal he wears about his neck, he expressed disappointment in Mr. Mac’s version. Mr. Mac responded in a tart, earthy manner. I found myself in the middle—trying to help after all—seeking a compromise. I must confess, there were times I felt like a parent calming two sugar-fueled children. But—if you must know—I, too, am a healer in my own way. Eventually all parties agreed to my Solomon-like solution.

Mr. Mac’s writing would stand.

Mr. Tollhaus would supply chapter-by-chapter clarifications.

My editor claimed this created a hybrid, a confusing, a ‘jack-a-lope' of a book. I preferred to think differently, as did the attorneys who guided me. This little book, among other things, offers a vigorous debate on how best to present spiritual ideas. In his robust style—he does come from direct mail marketing—Mr. Mac chronicles the saga of condensed enlightenment and guides you through the simple steps of attaining a new consciousness. Mr. Tollhaus—as befits his serene spiritual status—he has, after all, appeared numerous times on Ricki Lake—follows after, garnishing each chapter with insight and love.

And while the debate occasionally grows heated and personal, remember you're reading a quarrel over style and not substance. Don't let it distract you from investigating condensed enlightenment. In a universe of endless possibilities, condensed enlightenment could alter the fate of humanity. As you will see demonstrated in these pages, dynamic change can arrive quickly.

As an aside, future business ventures, pending legal actions, and other boring, in-house matters occasionally crop up in the text. I won't say they reached print because my editor quit. No. I let them stand. They are a tribute to your high intelligence. To you—the reader—they are motes next to a great crag, far beneath the attention of anyone seeking quick, transformative spiritual enlightenment. I trust in, and expect, your inattention to the aforementioned non-spiritual matters.

Meanwhile, enjoy and experience this book in a manner familiar to you!

—Mansard Hamcott

Publisher-in-Chief

Cornerstone Media

CHAPTER ONE

RAPID ENLIGHTENMENT IS HERE NOW!!!

DISCOVER THREE ASTOUNDING WORDS THAT SLINGSHOT YOU INSTANTLY TO THE PINNACLE OF AWESOME CONSCIOUSNESS

INSTANT DHARMA WITHOUT EFFORT

READ THIS BOOK ONCE AND LOSE 49% OF YOUR FALSE CONSCIOUSNESS

EXPERIENCE THE POWER OF CONDENSED ENLIGHTENMENT

FROM THE DESK OF JP MAC

Hello Spiritual Friends. I’m JP Mac, and I can’t tell you how excited I am to introduce you to the life-changing information contained in this little volume.

Ascend to the zenith of spiritual enlightenment in hours!!

Sounds crazy, huh? Sure. Everyone’s told you that spiritual enlightenment takes decades of study, preparation, effort, classes, craft fairs. If you want the bliss and serenity that comes with achieving total consciousness you