Smile and Other Twisted Tales

By Venla Mäkelä

A young photographer in a condemned apartment complex; maggots in a backyard pool; a blind date ends in something worse than a root canal. These and three more stories in this collection of the strange and weird.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Venla Mäkelä
• Release date: Nov 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301067770

Venla Mäkelä

Venla Mäkelä writes screenplays and fiction.She lives in Los Angeles with her family.

Book preview

Smile and Other Twisted Tales

Venla Mäkelä

Copyright 2012 by Venla Mäkelä

Smashwords Edition

Cover photo by Brenda St.Hilaire

Chapter 1 - SMILE

She recognized him right away and was disappointed. He looked exactly like his photo, but still different; his posture was hunched and there was overall softness that turned her off. But she smiled and walked to the table and stretched out her hand and said, Hi.

He smiled at her and looked sort of cute, and she thought maybe this will be okay, but then immediately thought no, it won’t work, it just won’t. Then she thought, maybe he’s a millionaire - that sometimes helps and makes the guy look better, and it would also mean he was probably quite smart too - hardly anyone is a millionaire just by luck. And if you have inherited the money then you probably went to good schools and are somewhat polished at least. She liked preppy-type men. This guy wasn’t, unfortunately.

He stood up and said hi and shook her hand, saying, I’m Ethan.

I’m Sandra, she said and smoothed her skirt and sat down.

The waiter came, and they ordered drinks. Ethan had waited for Sandra and had just nursed a glass of water until now.

Thank you for coming, I wasn’t sure you would be here, Sandra said to sound nice, but of course Ethan would be there; he was the type to be ten minutes early whatever the occasion, she just knew it. And she felt sorry for him.

You’re really pretty – I’m sorry, I just have to say it, you’re so pretty, he said.

Oh, thank you, you’re very sweet.

Your hair is great, he said, sincere.

Thank you, she said.

They talked about how neither of them really liked online dating, it was such a gamble - before you heard the other person’s voice or really saw how they looked it was just impossible to know. Impossible.

I have met a few women, some of them were very nice but we just didn’t… I was waiting for that ‘click,’ you know, Ethan said.

Oh I know, I know. You sit through the dinner, thinking ‘this is just pointless,’ she said, hoping he would get the hint, hoping they would soon agree it was unnecessary to have dinner. Maybe they could even laugh about it. She imagined them saying friendly goodbyes at the street corner, smiling, wishing each other well.

Once, instead of going to a bar or a coffee shop we went picnicking, Ethan said.

Did you have a flat tire?

What? he asked, and she realized she had only said it because in a fraction of a second she had pictured it to be like that: him checking the pancake tire, cussing desperately, while the plain woman sat in the car a picnic basket on her lap, regretting the date.

I’m sorry, I was just joking, she said. How was the picnic?

"It was nice,’ he said and smiled and again he looked a little bit cute, and she wondered whether she might actually grow to like him and even find him sexy at some point. But then she looked at his hands and they were short and stubby and slightly plump, not unmanly but off-puttingly doughy, and she knew for sure this was not going to work out.

After a moment, when they had finished their drinks, she excused herself and went to the ladies’ room.

The letters of the ladies’ room sign were metal stickers on the wall, and someone had moved them around so the sign read lad’ies room. She tried to figure out if there was a joke in it, but there probably wasn’t.

A giggly woman was talking on her cell phone by the mirror. Sandra stopped next to her and fixed her lipstick.

We are! The woman shrieked, excited, We’ll get a cab and meet you guys at the theater. Yeah. He did? Oh, awesome, I know it’s so difficult to get a reservation on a Friday night!

Sandra felt irritated. From here she would go home and watch TV and eat a dull dinner. How many evenings like this would there be? And now she would have to get rid of Ethan, politely, somehow.

"Well I am drunk, but not too drunk to see a play, the woman said and laughed and then said her goodbyes and glanced at Sandra via the mirror. Friday night, huh?"

As if she also had naughty plans, Sandra grinned and said, Friday night. Tomorrow morning might not be pretty…

The woman laughed, which made Sandra feel better.

When she got back to the table Ethan had ordered new drinks.

I thought, it’s so nice in here, let’s stay a while and decide where to have dinner, he said.

At first she felt like refusing, like rushing straight out the door without a word, but then she sat down and said, Okay.

My favorite food is Mexican, Ethan said. I went last year, just for the food. Not that you can’t get great Mexican food in this town, you absolutely can, but it’s really great to explore all these small villages and all they have to offer.

That sounds great, she said.

How about you? What is you favorite food?

Oh, I don’t know - are we talking about comfort food, or..?

He laughed, shrugged. Just… whatever you like. Mac and cheese.

I really like mac and cheese, she said, also laughing, I really do. It wasn’t so bad. He was kind of interesting.

Halfway through her drink, she started feeling a little fuzzy in the head.

You all right?