Toxic: A Love Hate Thing

By Really Rashida

Tracey believes that being with Andre is her key to living happily ever after. Five years and one handsome son later, she’s still chasing that dream. Her days aren’t filled with love and affection. Andre beats her relentlessly and she has reached her breaking point.

When a plot to kill Andre goes wrong Tracey is desperate for help to finish what she started. She never thought that help would come from Erick Chambers because after their secret affair ended he vowed to never speak to her again.

As fate would have it, her hatred for Andre is no match for her long lost love. Erick promises to end Andre’s terror permanently but catching evil is harder than it looks. As the clock ticks Andre is nowhere to be found and the rekindled relationship is put to the test.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Really Rashida
• Release date: Feb 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301164097

Really Rashida

Really Rashida is a Cleveland based writer, artist, and multimedia personality. She inherited her love of books and music from her mother and began reading at the age of three. Her career began in 2005 when she became an intern for the Ohio Hip Hop Awards. During her five years with the organization, Rashida was able to get a taste of what the music industry was about from behind the scenes. During that time writing never left her and she eventually found her way back to it when she started blogging in 2009. She went on to write for the event's blog until 2013. In January of that same year Rashida dropped her first book, Toxic, an urban murder mystery. Currently Rashida hosts her own podcast, writes a lifestyle blog dedicated to today's urban woman, and has an African American book review vlog. She is still living in Cleveland and is hard at work on her next novel.

Book preview

Prologue

" At least the weather’s nice ..." Tracey thought when she stepped out of the courthouse. She shielded her eyes with her hand and looked up at the baby blue sky filled with fluffy, white clouds.

If only the happenings of the day matched the weather. Tracey went to court that morning for the domestic abuse charges she and Punkin filed against Andre. Instead of him accepting responsibility for how he brutalized the women he skipped out on the hearing. To make matters worse, so did Punkin. A warrant was issued for Andre's arrest and the hearing was rescheduled.

Tracey left the Justice Center feeling like a failure. Finally, she had the strength to fight back against Andre and his terrorism but it was doing her no good. No matter what she did he always seemed to have the upper hand in the end. Not even the so called justice system could save her from Andre the lunatic, but Tracey refused to let him get away with all the hurt he'd caused in her life.

Because both Punkin and Dre skipped the hearing, Tracey's first thought was that they were somewhere together. So once she left she called Punkin to see what was going on.

I'm sorry, girl, but I just couldn't do it. He's been calling threatening to kill me if I go to court, Punkin told her.

Don't let that nigga scare you. Dre didn't even show up for court today with his scary ass. The judge just issued a warrant for him and gave us another court date. Tracey knew Punkin had every right to be scared but she needed her to stay focused on their plan. The only way they could beat Andre was by sticking together.

Fuck! So now what? Punkin's voice was nervous and shaky.

Where are you? Can we meet up?

Ummm... Where you wanna meet at? 'Cause I'm not tryna cross paths with Dre.

Can you get to Cain Park? You know he don't mess around in the Heights.

Cool. I'll see you in a little bit.

~

Tracey arrived at Cain Park fifteen minutes later. She sat on a bench near the pond and watched people feed the ducks as she waited for Punkin to arrive. A few of them started fighting over food. The squawking and commotion going on with the birds reminded Tracey of her life with Andre. It was normal for him to beat her over things as small as making something for dinner he didn't have a taste for. She shook her head at the ducks then focused her attention on the sky. She noticed a Monarch butterfly fluttering in the distance. She smiled at the sight. The black and gold insect was her favorite of all the butterflies.

Tracey scanned the path winding through the park and didn't see anyone she recognized. As she continued to look she noticed a girl coming towards her so she stood up to get a better look. All of the blows to the face she suffered over the years caused Tracey to partially lose her vision. The girl in the distance was just a blur but with each step her image became clearer. Her large frame and broad shoulders came into better view. Tracey was disappointed when the approaching stranger turned out to be Punkin.

The disappointment came when she noticed Punkin had a round belly poking out in front of her. Thanks to a suntan her toffee brown skin was now a light shade of chocolate. She had her hair in a neat ponytail. Thanks to prenatal pills her hair grew a few inches from the chin length bob style she normally wore. Her nose was a little bigger and spread across her face.

She IS pregnant! That lying little hoe, Tracey said to herself. From the size of her belly, Punkin looked to be about seven months along.

When Punkin noticed Tracey standing there she waved at her. Tracey waved back.

Hey. You look like you seen a ghost, Punkin said giggling.

Yeah I do. A pregnant one… You’re so big. Has it been that long since we saw each other last? Tracey reached out and rubbed Punkin's belly. It was real. Punkin wasn't lying this time.

Girl, let's sit down so I can tell you.

They said down on the bench and got comfortable. Tracey couldn't help staring at Punkin with a bit of jealousy. Even though she was done with Andre, the fact that he was having a baby with another woman still gave her a sense of betrayal. She quickly banished the thought from her mind and focused on what Punkin had to tell her.

So what's going on? Why lie about being pregnant?

Well, I didn't wanna say nothing because you were the enemy at the time. Dre was real good at making me hate you. When he got mad at me he'd tell me that when my baby was born he was gonna get full custody and he was gonna marry you and y'all would raise the baby.

Really? And you believed that?

Punkin laughed. Don't act like that man didn't have you brainwashed, too. Yeah, I believed anything he told me.

You're right. But damn. I didn't know he was ever talking about marrying me. They gotta hurry up and find his ass so he can do that time before he find another dummy to use and abuse.

Punkin's eyes got wide. That shit got me shook up, girl. I don't want that nigga nowhere near me or my baby.

Don't worry about his ass, Punkin. He won't come nowhere near you. He too scared to go to jail.

Naw... He gon' try to come for me. I know it. I can feel it. He's not done with me… I gotta go, Tracey. Punkin stood up to leave but Tracey reached up and grabbed her hand.

No, just wait a minute. We gotta stick together. That's the only way we can be safe, for real. Look, you can come stay with me. I just moved and Dre don't know where I live.

Punkin pulled her hand away. Thanks, but I'm good. I have a family member I can stay with, she lied. I'll be okay. When's the next court date?

Next month on the 12th. You gon' be there, right?

Yep. I'ma make sure I put it on my calendar so I don't forget. Punkin reached out and grabbed Tracey in a hug. I'll call you and let you know where I'm staying.

Okay. Make sure you do that. We can get this nigga, Punkin.

I know... Punkin said then turned and walked away.

Tracey sat back down on the park bench and buried her face in her hands. Wow... she muttered.

After a moment she gathered her thoughts then stood and headed towards her car. Her cellphone started to vibrate so she removed it from its holder that was clipped to her belt and answered it.

Hello.

Tray, don't hang up! Please... It was Andre.

Chapter One: It's No Fun When The Rabbit Has The Gun

ONE MONTH LATER...

Tracey's hands quivered as she reached out to ring the doorbell. Why am I so damn nervous? Tracey asked herself aloud. She looked down at her dress and smoothed it out with her hands, then reached inside her clutch and pulled out a compact mirror. Checking for any flaws , Tracy was glad to see that her hair and makeup were still perfect. She blew out an impatient breath then rang the doorbell again.

This wasn’t like Tracey. She didn’t mean to be impatient, but it was a humid July night and she wanted to get in the house before the mosquitoes started to attack. Andre lived upstairs in a two-family house that he recently bought. She knew it would take him a minute to get to the door but this was nerve wrecking. She was just about to call him when she saw his silhouette coming down the stairs through the glass in the door.

Andre opened the door and smiled at the sight of Tracey. You lookin' good, baby. He stepped to the side so Tracey could walk in. He slapped her on the booty as she went up the stairs. Damn!

When they got upstairs to his place she was pleasantly surprised by the romantic setup that awaited her. The living room was dark with sweet scented candles placed all over the room.  She stepped into the dining area and there was the table set beautifully with expensive looking china, silverware, and two unlit candles.

Surprise, Andre whispered in her ear. Tracey jumped. He'd stepped up behind her without her realizing. 

She turned around and faced him. The scent of his cologne lingered in her nose and made her moist. Andre always smelled so good. His clothes fit his body perfectly. He was dressed in black khaki pants with a white button-up shirt under a black and white paisley sweater vest. Tracey admired his muscular build through his clothes. His hair was freshly cut and his face was lined nice and neat. He smiled and showed his pretty white teeth.

For you, beautiful. He handed her a single red rose.

Thank you, she replied and planted a kiss on his soft, full lips. She missed his kisses so much. What you got going on in the kitchen? It smell good in here.

You know, a lil' somethin' I whipped up. It's almost ready. You wanna drink while we wait? Andre went over to a small bar near the table.

Yeah. Let me get some tequila, babe. She watched him as he poured a glass of tequila for her and cognac for himself then the two went to the couch and got comfortable.

There was an awkward silence at first. They just admired each other and sipped their drinks. For a moment it was as if they had never been through the turmoil of their dysfunctional relationship. What am I doing here, Tracey thought.

As if he was reading her mind, Andre placed his hand on her thigh and rubbed it gently. I know you questioning why you're here with me right now. I ask myself all the time what it is about this bitch that I love so much. Why do she drive me so crazy on one hand but have me completely in love on the other? Andre took a swallow of his cognac.

I'm not gonna lie. I am kinda nervous being here with you. The last time we was together it wasn't good.

I know, I know. You ain't even gotta say nothin' else. I would say sorry for all the shit we done been through but I'm not. I'ma show you how sorry I am. Andre winked at Tracey.

Alright. Show me, and you better make it good! Tracey downed the rest of her tequila.

Andre looked her in the eyes. She loved when they made eye contact like that. It was their special way of connecting. He had beautiful honey brown eyes that sparkled in the light. It was as if he could see deep inside of her spirit.

I will... I promise, he said. Let me go get this food together. He gave Tracey a kiss on the cheek before going into the kitchen.

Tracey went to the dining room table and sat down. It had been a very long time since he'd done anything remotely romantic for her. I got my Dre back , she thought and smiled to herself.

Babe, you got a lighter? I'm gonna light these candles.

Don't worry about it I'ma do it. Just sit back and let ya man take care of you.

Tracey did as she was told and smiled. Okay.

A few minutes later Andre entered the dining room with two plates of food in his hands. Tracey's stomach danced with joy when he sat her plate in front of her. He made Chicken Alfredo, her favorite. He put his plate down then lit the candles on the table. Andre took his seat and reached his hands out to Tracey. She took them and bowed her head while Andre said grace.

Thank you father for bringing me and my baby together once again. I'm grateful and so blessed to have her and my son in my life. Please bless this food. Amen.

Amen, Tracey said then gently squeezed his hands.

The couple ate their food and caught each other up on what went on in their lives over the past month. Tracey was busy with work and school. Andre was making good money in the streets and was looking for a tenant to move in downstairs in his first rental property. Once they were done, Andre cleared the table.

Tracey went to the bar and poured Andre and her another drink. She sat them on the coffee table and waited for him to return. He pulled off his sweater vest and joined Tracey on the sofa. He sat down a cigarillo and a bag of weed. Tracey could tell from the skunk smell that it was some high-grade herb. She didn't really smoke but she decided she would indulge tonight. Things were going well so far and she wanted to go with the flow to keep the mood positive.

Babe, I been on some other shit. Like for real, man. Some real G shit. I wanna be there for you and my lil' man. I'm talkin' 'bout marriage and all that, Andre said as he crumbled the weed up on the table.

That's real good to hear, Dre.

Andre split the cigarillo, dumped the tobacco out on the table, and filled it with the weed. You know I been getting this bread and puttin' shit up for us. I wanna buy another house for us to stay in. Nicer than this one though.

Tracey listened to Andre as he talked about the plans he had for their future. The words were like water to a dying flower to her. He'd come to his senses finally. The possibility of going to jail really scared him straight.

When he finished rolling the blunt he lit it and took a few puffs. Tracey reached her hand out. Let me hit that.

Andre laughed. You smokin' this Kush tonight? Ooh wee!

Tracey took the burner from his hand and hit it a little too eagerly. She choked so hard on the smoke that Andre had to pat her back to help calm her cough. She pulled from the cigar again, this time she took it in and exhaled with no problem. I'm a G too, she said with a smile then passed it back.

It only took her a few minutes to feel the effects of the drug. By the time they smoked the whole thing she was so high she could barely keep her eyes open. Her body felt light as if she was floating in air. She tingled all over and was warm with arousal. Tracey kicked off her heels and straddled Andre. She rubbed her hands up and down his chest. He grabbed her ass and squeezed it then softly bit her breast. Taking the hint she pulled the straps of her dress off of her shoulders revealing her chest. Her nipples were rock hard. Andre went to work sucking and licking on them as he continued to squeeze her butt. Tracey felt his member rise beneath her.

Come on, she said then got up from his lap. She led Andre to his bedroom and they went at it like two virgin rabbits.

~

Tracey enjoyed the trembling in her legs as she lay in bed. Andre put it down as usual leaving her satisfied and tranquil. One thing she always loved about him was the way he made love to her. Their physical connection was undeniable. The rest of their relationship could use some work, but Tracey didn't think about that now. She didn't want to talk about the beatings, and she didn't want to bring up Andre's open court case or his mistake with Punkin.

Andre grabbed his box of Black & Mild cigars from the nightstand. After taking out the tobacco, removing the paper lining, and then putting the tobacco back in, he lit it then let