Mr. Dick's Step by Step Therapy for Premature Ejaculation

By Mr Dick

Under my supervision, Mr. Dick has produced a comprehensive and practical eBook with a novel approach for the treatment of premature ejaculation. The down to earth style makes it appealing to anyone affected or interested to treat this condition. I also thoroughly recommend it to all therapists and practitioners to use as a treatment algorithm or as part of their therapy management program.
Dr Martyn Baker M.A., M.B. B.Chir., D. Obst R.C.O.G., D.C.H.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mr Dick
• Release date: Jan 20, 2014
• ISBN: 9780987416933

Mr Dick

Mr Dick and his team of researchers is supervised by Dr Martyn Baker M.A., M.B. B.Chir., D. Obst R.C.O.G., D.C.H. After medical qualifications at Cambridge University and training at St Thomas's Hospital in London, Dr. Baker worked in the UK and South Africa and finally settled in Australia to establish his practice in 1976. He started practising as a Sex Therapist in 1992, firstly at Australian Centre for Sexual Health, St. Luke's Hospital Sydney and finally, as principal in his own practice. He is also a founding committee member and past President of the Australian Society for Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists (ASSERT).

Book preview

Mr. Dick’s Step by Step Therapy for Premature Ejaculation

Foreword by Dr. Martyn Baker

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2014 Online Therapies Ltd.

All Rights Reserved.

License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal use only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people and the publisher reserves all rights for breach of license or copyright.

ISBN: 978-0-9874169-3-3

Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

Foreword

Under my supervision, Mr. Dick has produced a comprehensive and practical eBook for the treatment of premature ejaculation. The down to earth style makes it appealing to anyone affected or interested in this condition. I also thoroughly recommend it to all therapists and practitioners to use as a treatment algorithm or as part of their therapy management program.

Dr Martyn Baker M.A., M.B. B.Chir., D. Obst R.C.O.G., D.C.H.

After medical qualifications at Cambridge University and medical training at St Thomas's Hospital in London, Dr. Baker worked in the UK and South Africa and finally settled in Australia to establish his practice in 1976. He started practising as a Sex Therapist in 1992, firstly at Australian Centre for Sexual Health, St. Luke's Hospital Sydney and finally, as principal in his own practice. He is also a founding committee member and past President of the Australian Society for Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists (ASSERT).

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword

Step 1: Do you have a Premature Ejaculation Condition?

Fast Track to Diagnose & Treatment

What is Premature Ejaculation

Timing and PE

Perceived PE

PE leads to PE Syndrome

How Common is PE

Are you Different?

Step 2: The Sex Encounter and Normal Ejaculation

Male Sex Arousal to Ejaculation: What Actually Happens

Sex Encounter Stage I: The Situation

Sex Encounter Electrochemicals

Sex Encounter Stage II: The Turn On

How Does Willy Get Erect?

Brain's Neurofunction and Sex

Sex Encounter Stage III: The Cruise

The Spinal Ejaculation Generator

Sex Encounter Stages IV and V: The Point of No Return & Orgasm

Map Fix on the Sex Encounter

Step 3: Diagnosis & Treatment

Things Not To Do

How Are We Going To Do It

Step 4: Diagnose To Treat Your Electrochemical Triggers

Genetic Electrochemical Triggers

Electrochemical Imbalance Test

PE Trigger: Excess or Deficiency in Dopamine

PE Trigger: Excess Norepinephrine or Epinephrine (Adrenaline)

PE Trigger: Deficiency of GABA or Excess Glutamate

PE Trigger: Deficiency in Serotonin

PE Trigger: Deficiency in Acetylcholine

PE Trigger: Excess Prostaglandin E2 or Deficiency in E1 & E3

Step 5: Diagnose to Treat Your Non Electrochemical Triggers

Youthful Exuberance PE Trigger

Habitual PE Triggers

Medical Condition PE Triggers

Hypersensitivity of areas of the Penis

Pelvic Floor Muscle Dysfunction

Stress as a PE Trigger

Anxiety as a PE Trigger

Performance Anxiety PE TRigger

Willy's Size and Performance Anxiety

Sexual Trauma PE Trigger

Porn Induced PE Trigger

Step 6: Essential Prep for Behavioural Therapy to develop your Sexual Prowess

Importance of Partner involvement

The Post Coital Intimacy Trap

Step 7: Develop Your Sexual Prowess: Correct Mindset

The Right Frame of Mind

MindPower I: Adopting a Positive Attitude

MindPower II: Desensitisation

Step 8: Develop Your Sexual Prowess: Get to Know Your Body

Get to Know Your Body Exercise I: Breathing to Relax

Get to Know Your Body: Identify Your Pelvic Floor Muscles

Get to Know Your Body Exercise II: Develop Your Pelvic Floor Muscles

Get to Know Your Body Exercise IIA: Advanced Pelvic Floor Muscle Development

Get to Know Your Body Exercise III: Sensate Focus Exercise

Get to Know Your Body Exercise IV: Masturbation Exercise A

Get to Know Your Body Exercise V: Masturbation Exercise B

Step 9: Develop Your Sexual Prowess: Partner Exercises

Partner Exercises I - IV

Partner Exercises Mid Assessment

Partner Exercise V - VII

Partner Exercises Map Fix

Step 10: How the Female Body Works

Sex Role Variables

Female Body Basics

The Clitoris

The Mysterious G Spot

The A Zone

Clitoral v G Spot Orgasms

Tips To Get Her Aroused

Step 1: Do you have a Premature Ejaculation Condition?

Blurts out Willy after receiving yet another email on How to Last Longer from another quick buck peddler of false hope. He has a point but, the fact remains that Premature Ejaculation (PE) is the most common sexual problem for men, especially young men, leading to personal and relationship problems and, what I call PE Syndrome.

If you are experiencing difficulties associated with PE, you are not alone. This may be of some comfort but what is more comforting is that you now have the latest and most comprehensive eBook to inform yourself about the causes of this commonplace problem and to follow my Step by Step Therapy program based on proven methods to treat it.

Even if you consult a sex therapist, modern sex therapy relies on prescriptions and performance of home therapy. My therapy program is based on your ability to help yourself using your own resources without the need to visit a sex therapist. One of my favourite statements is Knowledge is Power and this eBook has been designed to empower you to treat your PE condition for good and develop your sexual prowess.

There are of course situations where a plumbing issue may need a medical investigation and you will be able to identify such a situation and decide if a consultation with a specialist is necessary. After fixing the plumbing issue you can get back to my Therapy to treat your PE and develop your sexual prowess.

You may have noticed that I have added developing your sexual prowess to the treatment. From my experience this is an important part of my Therapy as your confidence in your sexual performance will have been dented by your PE condition. There is no better way to rebuild your sexual performance confidence than from developing your sexual prowess.

Just because my therapy is based on clinical methods doesn’t mean it has to be dry. That’s why our companion on the journey will be my young mate Willy. He has already barged into our eBook but let’s get formally acquainted with Willy. His name is Richard though he’s better known as William and Willy for short. Willy is acquainted with the problem at first hand and he’ll be popping up from time to time to illustrate the concepts. Like me, he’s quite vocal for someone who rarely sees daylight. But he’s happy to take you in hand, which might be a nice change.

Here he comes (as he’d probably like to put it himself) in his work suit. And he’s either brought a very large Allen key or a box of tools to help us fix PE.

Hi

With Willy on hand, my Step by Step Therapy program approaches the subject in a relaxed, matter-of-fact way. Here’s how it works:

From Step 1 you will find out what PE is and in fact whether you are suffering from a PE condition.

In Step 2 you will find out all you need about ejaculations and why they are sometimes premature.

Step 3 will explain how my Therapy works and what no to do.

Steps 4 & 5 will get you to self diagnose you’re the source(s) of your PE condition so that you can target treatment.

Having identified the source of your PE condition, the next Steps apply Nutrition, Lifestyle and Behavioural Therapy to treat your unique condition.

Finally, I have added a Step on How the Female Body works so that you can develop your sexual prowess further.

Fast Track

I recommend that you apply yourself to all the Steps and evidence suggests you will get better results if you do so. PE is a complicated condition with varied and complex inputs. But, I also realise that time is precious and you have choices. Hence, you can also Fast Track to target the recommended primary therapy for your condition and get back to all the Steps when you can. If you want to Fast Track, use the Table of Contents or NCX facility to click forward to:

• Map Fix on Sex Encounter at the end of Step 2 for a summary of how ejaculations happen.

• Follow through with Step 3 on how the treatment works;

• Steps 4 & 5 to diagnose and then follow the recommended therapy for each of the PE sources you have diagnosed.

If you have any questions about my Step by Step Therapy you can also contact us using this link:

http://www.premature-ejaculation-therapy.com.au

What is Premature Ejaculation?

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is persistent or recurring penile ejaculation before a man wishes to orgasm. It interferes with sexual or emotional well-being in one or both partners. Willy and his friends have been arguing about it for years.

One thing is clear. Ejaculating before penetration, at the moment of penetration or very shortly after penetration is way too soon.

So it is the length of desired intercourse - and especially from a lack of ejaculatory control that leads to a lack of sexual satisfaction in one or both partners - that determines whether a PE problem exists. Note I have said desired as it comes down to how long you and your sex partner want to have intercourse.

You or your partner may also have extreme expectations so it is useful to look at what ejaculatory timing and duration is generally acceptable or normal and clear up whether you have abnormal expectations and even perceived PE.

Finally, the occasional PE incident does not necessarily mean you have a PE condition.

The key points to keep in mind are persistent over time or with a particular sex partner and coming quicker than desired by you or your sex partner all the time or even most of the time.

Let’s look at some further issues about premature ejaculations to further hone our definition of what PE is.

Timing and PE

Despite what your partner or lover might like to tell you, the world range of average time spent on the job from the point a man penetrates his partner’s vagina to ejaculation is between 3 and 7 minutes. An American Urology Association study of 491 men recorded times between vaginal penetration and ejaculation ranging from fifty-five seconds to 44 minutes, with a most-common duration just over five and a half minutes. This is referred to scientifically as IELT or Intravaginal Ejaculatory Latency Time and is a term used by researchers for studies. That gives us some perspective on what’s normal. But in an important sense, average times have no meaning.

As a general rule, if you persistently come within 1 minute you have probable PE and within 3 minutes you have possible PE.

Don’t reach for the stop watch yet. The length of time for which you can thrust your penis in her vagina isn't the point. It’s not? Willy asks. No, because when you learn to deal with PE, you don't learn to thrust away for a particular length of time, or trying to beat the world average as if it was an event at the Olympics - you learn to ejaculate when you want, taking your sex partner’s desires into account. It’s all about learning to put you in control over Willy instead of Willy being controlled by other inputs. Let’s conclude that a fixed length of time is irrelevant.

That is correct Willy.

Apart from a PE condition, the time taken to ejaculate in any sex encounter can be affected by a variety of factors I call Situational. Willy calls them traps for young (or not-so-young) players. But let’s stick with the term Situational Factors.

Situational factors include the level of excitement of your partner, extent of foreplay, new sexual activity, your sexual experience and even a new partner. Whoa! Tell me about it, man says Willy.

Another relevant factor is the length of time from previous ejaculation. Even with good control a man may still come quicker than expected if he hasn’t had sex for a long time. Medically this is referred to as the Refractory Period. To keep Willy happy we will use his term: Stubborn Willy Period or SWP.

And as many more as we are unique.

These Situational factors will affect your arousal and may cause you to ejaculate prematurely. But, as long as your ejaculations are not persistently premature then they are just that, Situational and not a PE condition.

Another issue we need to clear up is whether your PE condition is in fact real or falsely perceived by you.

Perceived PE

You may think you have a problem, but do you really? Some men have such high expectations of how they need to perform to please the partner or prove themselves that they set unrealistic goals that only make them feel like they have a PE problem when there is no actual problem.

Because guys tend to surround the whole business of sex with a lot of bravado and bull it makes it harder to assess whether you and your Willy’s concerns about the way he functions during sex are real or just supposed. Supposed? asks Willy confused.

In a world driven by competition and tough demands to be the best, individuals can feel under pressure to achieve longer penetration times for fear of not making the Guinness Book of Records. But not every race is a Marathon.

Some men form their ideas about good sex and the right time to ejaculate from their peers, from pornography or the media at large. We are constantly bombarded with messages that men should be ready to go all the time, penises as hard as steel and last all night. It has spawned a whole industry out there on lasting longer. Pornography (edited to draw out the event with repeated footage, slow-motion and every other trick in the book) together with other media sources from entertainment to editorials add to these exaggerated standards. With no better information to go by, endurance becomes the barometer for a man’s self esteem and every Willy is supposed to want to be King Willy, Marathon Willy.

Well, yes and we all need one every now and then. It couldn’t hurt to consider what’s realistic based on our new-found knowledge of typical sexual performance in the real world. Nor would it hurt to be in touch with what your partner, be it Jane or whoever, really wants. That’s the first step to determining realistic and desirable criteria for acceptable goals for both of you.

So assess the duration of intercourse that you have been achieving up until now, combine it with other factors that might be affecting your PE and determine whether you have perceived PE.

Even if your PE is only perceived, there remains a probability that you don’t have perfect control over your Willy. My Therapy will still develop your sexual prowess and develop your control with regard to improving his reliability in going the desired distance.

Perceived or not what is the fuss all about? asks Willy who wants you to get on with it so that he can have a rest! Well Willy, all the fuss is because PE affects life and happiness.

PE leads to PE Syndrome

Lack of control over Willy and resultant PE episodes may develop over time into PE Syndrome. This syndrome has an impact on our lives, the way we live and ultimately our happiness. Unchecked, it can ruin a man’s life. Let’s examine some of the negative personal consequences of PE Syndrome and see if any of these relate to you:

• Distress because you fantasise about having longer-lasting sex, but feel a failure, get frustrated and perhaps even get depressed.

• Shame and embarrassment. You feel you cannot face discussing the problem even with a medical professional or sex therapist.

• Avoidance of sexual contact.

• Loss of self esteem and confidence leading to insecurity about relationships. You avoid social situations which might directly or indirectly lead to expectation of a sexual connection.

• Men often self diagnose their PE as impotence but in fact suffer from PE. However, long term PE may develop into Erectile Dysfunction (impotence). At least 30% of men with PE men have concomitant ED.

If you have a permanent or even temporary partner, can you relate to some of these relationship PE Syndrome consequences?

• The Post Coital Intimacy Trap. It’s a fact that men and women have different sex agendas. Women seek intimacy before and after sex whilst men seek intimacy through sex. After another Willy crash landing you may beat yourself up, apologise and even worse withdraw emotionally. Willy’s reaction is to drive an emotional wedge through your relationship because he’s far better off keeping control of you all to himself for quick masturbation and rest. But let’s think about the partner for a second: she has just