Mother Nature Faerie Tales

By Roberta Swan

In a groundbreaking retelling of traditional stories, Mother Nature brings the faerie tale genre to the modern world. Thrill to tales of horror and greed as Jack defeats the Beanstalk Corporation and Red Ridding Hood takes on the medical establishment. Never have such a provocative collection of tales been published. Mother nature wants to expose the greed and corruption that has crept into the hearts of the powerful; she wants to chastise those who ignore her warnings. You cannot read a story like Snow White and the Junkyard Dwarfs and ever litter again. And you will have your heart in your throat as you enjoy the suspense of Cinderella: A Transportation Fable. The ten stories in this collection represent Mother's first literary work to date. If you liked the bible, the constitution of the United States and the two volume, unabridged biography of Cher, you will love Mother Nature Faerie Tales.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Roberta Swan
• Release date: Jul 23, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465749130

Roberta Swan

Mother Nature has a long list of accomplishments and credits including: re-creating the seasons each year, controlling the weather, regulating the ocean temperature and insuring the continuity of all species by reproduction (both sexual and asexual). She is most proud of her work with snowflakes, kittens and green lawns for cricket. Her current projects include researching ways to create new forest cover on freeway overpasses and knitting a blanket to cover the hole in the ozone layer. She is available for book signings and can be reached at her email address [e-mail].

Book preview

MOTHER NATURE FAERIE TALES

Advance Reviews of Mother Nature Faerie Tales

Oz has deteriorated a lot since Dorothy visited. I’m hoping to use Mother Nature’s new book to jumpstart our own environmental movement.

Glenda, The Good Witch of the West

Ordinarily I do not do reviews. I’m always afraid to show favoritism to any on solar system or planet, but I just have to make an exception in this case. Mother Nature’s Faerie Tales are so good. I plan to send a copy this Christmas to all the neighboring galaxies.

The Milky Way

Mother Nature was a secret cabinet member during my administration. Without her input we never would have established so many national parks. This book is a great introduction to the policies she helped put in place, now if she will only forgive me for invading Cuba.

Theodore Roosevelt, Former United States President

The veil has truly been lifted. Mother Nature shows reality as it is without pretense.

Socrates and Plato

I got my start because of Mother Nature. She has encouraged me in all my endeavors. After she introduced me to yeast my career really took off. We are now working on a cookbook together that we hope to have out by Christmas.

Betty Crocker

Mother Nature has been a good friend, a supporter of both my outer rings and inner atmosphere. Her stories have taken me through many dark and stormy periods. She truly captures the spirit of interplanetary cooperation.

The Planet Saturn

These stories crack me up. I plan to ask Mother Nature to join my wild west show. I know she is still mad at me because the buffalo almost became extinct, but I’m hoping she will let bygones be bygones.

Buffalo Bill

What can I say that has not already been said? Mother Nature is the greatest. I never go anywhere without a copy of her latest stories. Someday I hope to meet her in person. I think we would have a lot in common.

Amelia Earhart

Mother Nature was one of the first to really stand up for female independence. This book explores many of the stereotypes about women that have developed over the ages. Rock on, Mom.Susan B. Anthony

MOTHER NATURE FAERIE TALES

Copyright page

Mother Nature Faerie Tales

All Rights Reserved c 2004 by Roberta Swan

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ISBN: 0-000-00000-0

Dedication:

To all those planets out there who dream of telling your story. Don’t let your atmosphere hold you back.

Acknowledgements

There are so many to thank. I could not have written Goldybear and the Three Humans without the help of the many sprites and elves, who kept me posted on Goldybear’s growth and development. She is truly extraordinary and I’m sure you will be hearing more about her. The Three Little Pig Construction Workers would not have been possible without the help of local AFL/CIO union groups who allowed me to visit construction sites without a hard hat. They understood how hard it would be to get my ozone layer back in place after wearing one. And the groundbreaking reporting at the Washington Post was the inspiration for Jack and the Beanstalk Corporation. I want to thank the ocean currents for not veering off course during the three years it took me to finish this volume, and, I especially want to thank the magma layer for staying calm and not showing off with any catastrophic eruptions. There were many who read the stories and gave me great advice especially my writing club: thanks, Father Time, Brother Sun, Sister Moon, the eight planets in the solar system, and that cute little comet that would occasionally drop into meetings. Finally, my greatest thanks goes to the plankton for their superb oxygen production, and the bacteria for holding it all together for me.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 Jack_and_the_Beanstalk_Corporation

Chapter 2 Goldybear_and_the_Three_Humans

Chapter 3 Three_Little_Pig_Construction_Workers

Chapter 4 The_Shoemakers_and_the_Elvish_Maid

Chapter 5 Red_Riding_Hood_and_the_Subway

Chapter 6 Hansel_and_Gretel_and_the_Biotech_House

Chapter 7 Snow_White_and_the_Junkyard_Dwarves

Chapter 8 Cinderella_A_Transportation_Fable

Chapter 9 Beauty_and_the_Company_of_the_Beast

Chapter 10 Snow_White_and_Rose_Red_in_the_Yukon

Back_Cover

Introduction

I hate to be a scold and I have tried to be a good mother and give you so many hints about what needs to be done. I ask you to clean up after yourselves but do you listen? No. When I say, take out the garbage do you think I mean just hide it somewhere underground? When I get upset at all the pollution and say, quit making a mess do you think you can fool me by giving your unsuccessful efforts fancy names? A mess is a mess and it has to be cleaned up. I told you not to play with the chemistry set until you knew how to clean up the results. This behavior is enough to make a mother cry.

And don’t you know when a metaphor is a metaphor. Do you think the admonition increase and multiply means to keep going until you only have room to stand on each others shoulders? Think, think, think.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I am banging my head against a stone wall. Why do you do these things? No mother wants to think her children are stupid or incompetent but you have me worried. You, like all my creatures, have the need for food, clothing and shelter, but not, I repeat not, for truffle oil, Gucci bags, and