Son of Interior Design for Idiots, The Shopper's Guide

By Mark McCauley, ASID

Mark McCauley is the Dave Barry of interior design.
Chicago Tribune

Beneath the humor beats the heart of a true artist, poet and philosopher.
WF Magazine

McCauley discusses interior design for those with dogs, children and in-laws, he's the Anti-Martha Stewart.
Boston Globe

Mark McCauley is the interior designer for the rest of us.
San Francisco Chronicle

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mark McCauley, ASID
• Release date: Jun 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458022981

Mark McCauley, ASID

Mark McCauley, ASID Author of Five Books on Interior Design, former nationally syndicated columnist (30 million newspapers coast-to-coast) and on-line columnist (150,000 clicks and up) for HGTV.com, Scripps Publishing (1998-2006). Press "Mark McCauley is the Dave Barry of interior design." Chicago Tribune "Beneath the humor beats the heart of a true artist, poet and philosopher." WF Magazine "McCauley discusses interior design for those with dogs, children and in-laws, he's the Anti-Martha Stewart." Boston Globe "Mark McCauley is the interior designer for the rest of us." San Francisco Chronicle Mark McCauley, ASID author of: INTERIOR DESIGN FOR IDIOTS LET'S TALK DECORATING! COLOR THERAPY AT HOME COLOR YOUR HOME BEAUTIFUL DECARTIA! Mr. McCauley has also written for AOL.com and the Chicago Tribune, participated in National Book Tours, spoken in public from coast-to-coast, made numerous national and local television and radio appearances and appeared on National Public Radio. Over one million people have toured Mr. McCauley's Show Houses. Mr. McCauley has been an Invited Guest Speaker, High Point Semi-Annual Furniture Market on several occasions. Affiliations: IL State Registered Professional Member ASID Education: St. Ignatius College Preparatory DePauw University

Book preview

Son of Interior Design for Idiots, The Shoppers Guide

By Mark McCauley, ASID

Smashwords Edition Copyright 2011 by Mark McCauley, ASID

All images courtesy of –freedigitalphotos.net

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mark McCauley, ASID

Author of Five Books on Interior Design, former nationally syndicated columnist, and former on-line columnist for HGTV.com, Scripps Publishing (1998-2006). Illinois State Registered Interior Designer and Professional Member of the American Society of Interior Designers.

PRESS

Mark McCauley is the Dave Barry of interior design.

Chicago Tribune

Beneath the humor beats the heart of a true artist, poet and philosopher.

WF Magazine

McCauley discusses interior design for those with dogs, children and in-laws, he's the Anti-Martha Stewart.

Boston Globe

Mark McCauley is the interior designer for the rest of us.

San Francisco Chronicle

Mr. McCauley can be reached at [e-mail]

INTRODUCTION

I’m no expert. But I know where the experts are. They are the retailers, salespeople and interior designers that work in your town. They are the manufacturers, manufacturer’s representatives, customer service people, plant personnel, master carvers, upholsterers and truck drivers that build and design the stuff of dreams.

–freedigitalphotos.net

Master Carver

They are the people who worry if the fit is right on your drapes, who take extra time to explain why a particular window treatment is better for your family’s needs, who listen and work with you to ensure that you get the proper carpeting.

These are the people who decorate your life.

I’m proud to say I know them.

Mark McCauley, ASID

INDEX

CHAPTER ONE The Interior Designervention

CHAPTER TWO The Zen Buying Guide

CHAPTER THREE The Furniture Shopper’s Survival Guide

CHAPTER FOUR Exactly How Does One Make Furniture?

CHAPTER FIVE Wooden It Be Nice?

CHAPTER SIX CARPET BOMBING

CHAPTER SEVEN The Drapes of Wrath

CHAPTER EIGHT THE Hardware Man Cometh

CHAPTER NINE THE DRAPER'S DICTIONARY

CHAPTER TEN THE FABRICLAND GLOSSARY

CHAPTER ONE The Interior Designervention

"Look at them! Go ahead, look at them! Know why they’re laughin’? Your Facebook page has pictures of your family room on it, THAT’S why they’re laughing…"

–freedigitalphotos.net

We need to talk.

I’m somewhat loathe to bring the subject up, but….

It’s not you. You’re a wonderful person. Really. It’s just that, y’know, your living room. And that family room. And well, for what it’s worth, pretty much EVERYTHING!

It’s about your interiors. They’re just not working out. I’m sorry. We all took a vote and I was elected to tell you…

It’s not that we don’t like lava lamps. We’ve always been fond of your ‘Dog’s Playing Poker’ painting. No one has a better collection of Elvis Miniatures. Your cinder block end tables are nice too. It’s just that, well, all of these things in combination are a little hard to take. I’m sorry, I wish it didn’t have to be this way but you need: AN INTERIOR DESIGNERVENTION

Listen, I’ve made a few calls and collected some material here for you to go over. Sort of a test. It’s actually a fifteen question STRESS TEST, to see if the reason your interior design isn’t quite right is caused by some bizarre chemical imbalance or if possibly something from your past is bothering you.