When Cthulhu Met Atlach-Nacha

By Alan Ryker

He's an academic; she's an artist.

He worships Cthulhu, the slumbering behemoth; she worships Atlach-Nacha, the spider goddess of dreams.

Their interfaith marriage is challenging enough before the gods themselves arise and do battle. Can this couple hold their relationship together during the end of times?

Through the use of both horror and domestic comedy, When Cthulhu Met Atlach-Nacha examines the audacity and beauty of declaring a permanent relationship in a chaotic world.

When Cthulhu Met Atlach-Nacha is a one-act play with a run time of just under one hour.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alan Ryker
• Release date: May 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466111400

Alan Ryker

Alan Ryker is the product of a good, clean country upbringing. Though he now lives with his wife in the suburbs of Kansas City, the sun-bleached prairie still haunts his fiction. Check out his many adventures at his blog, Pulling Teeth at www.alanryker.com. Enjoy his most mundane thoughts by following him on twitter: @alanryker. And contact him at [e-mail].

Book preview

WHEN CTHULHU MET ATLACH-NACHA

by

Alan Ryker

May 1, 2011

Copyright 2011 Jeffrey Rice

Published by Sucker Punch Press at Smashwords

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the Author, except where permitted by law.

Written permission is also required for live performance of any sort. This includes readings, cuttings, scenes, and excerpts. Contact Jeffrey Rice, [e-mail].

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover art and design by Wendy McBride, [e-mail]

Characters

ASHTON: A young, artistic woman.

CUTHBERT: A young, academic man.

FORDHAM: An old man. The landlord.

Setting

Upstage is an apartment, though the art studio of the apartment doubles as the art studio of the university. One side is the entrance, the other a closet. There's a kitchen and a bathroom (or at least a tub). Downstage are two chairs, which ASHTON and CUTHBERT are sitting in when spotlights come up. The stage remains dark.

ASHTON: (To audience) You want us to tell you how we met?

CUTHBERT: (Even more incredulously) You want us to tell you how we met?

ASHTON: Really?

CUTHBERT: Really?

ASHTON: Really?

CUTHBERT: I think they do. (beat) Really?

ASHTON: Every couple has a story, and every one is a lie.

CUTHBERT: A total lie.

ASHTON: Because when you tell a story a hundred times, you start to embellish. You learn what works, what doesn't.

CUTHBERT: Like adding jokes to a stand up act?

ASHTON: What gets laughs. What gets big sappy Awwwws!

CUTHBERT: So it gets cute, is what you're saying.

ASHTON: Exactly.

CUTHBERT: That's not so bad. I'd rather hear a funny, heartwarming lie than the boring truth.

ASHTON: Meh.

CUTHBERT: Hey, our story's pretty heartwarming.

ASHTON: Remember when I knocked you unconscious with a can of tomatoes?

CUTHBERT: Okay, well that wasn't so/

ASHTON: And then chained you to the bed?

CUTHBERT: But that's not how we met. They asked about how we met.

ASHTON: I guess that was kind of cute. Cuthbert and I met in college.

CUTHBERT: Ol' Miskatonic U. We were/

ASHTON: I was telling it. You don't tell it right.

(CUTHBERT holds up his hands and leans back in his chair.)

ASHTON: You know you don't. You've got a terrible memory for this stuff.

CUTHBERT: Oh, and yours is perfect?

ASHTON: I've told this story a thousand thousand times. It's kind of all I have left.

(CUTHBERT leans over and puts his arm around ASHTON.)

CUTHBERT: Hey, it's okay. (beat) You go ahead and tell it.

ASHTON: Thanks. (pause while attempting to regain

Reviews for When Cthulhu Met Atlach-Nacha

[Jo McGregor · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A fun take on the Cthulhu Mythos, in the form of a short play. I liked it! Equal parts black humour and references, and a bit of tenderness. Would like to see it performed.