Twenty-Somewhere

By Kristan Hoffman

** Winner in the St. Martin's Press "New Adult" Contest **

Written as 40 weekly webisodes, Twenty-Somewhere is the fast-paced, heartfelt story of 3 young women learning how to be independent, yet also hold onto each other, in this big, crazy, modern world.

Best friends Sophie Lin, Claudia Bradford, and MJ Alexander have graduated college and are ready to take on the real world. Or so they think. As relationships sour, careers sputter, and ethical dilemmas arise, the girls turn to the one thing they can always count on: their friendship with each other. But even that will be put to the test...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kristan Hoffman
• Release date: Jun 15, 2010
• ISBN: 9781452376271

Kristan Hoffman

Writer. Halfie. Momma to the #grumblepup. Big fan of football and feminism, among other things. Rep'd by Tina Wexler at ICM.

Book preview

TWENTY-SOMEWHERE

by

Kristan Hoffman

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SMASHWORDS EDITION

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Twenty-Somewhere

Copyright © 2010 by Kristan Hoffman

Visit Kristan online at kristanhoffman.com.

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

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TWENTY-SOMEWHERE

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Episode 1: The new diaspora

Three young women gather at the end of summer to say their goodbyes. Long-limbed Sophie is dressed for a tennis match and has plans to meet X at the courts right after this. She likes to keep busy. MJ sips from her cappuccino, licking foam off her top lip and evaluating the guys in the room. Believe it or not, she’s the nerd of the group. Last but not least is Claudia, late as always. She breezes into the café, spewing apologies in advance.

Lose track of time working on the book? MJ asks, scooting over to make room at the table.

Not exactly, Claudia says, taking a seat. Sophie hands her the smoothie they ordered in anticipation of her tardy arrival. I spent all morning looking at pictures of puppies online. Eli found a great shelter near us, and they just got a new litter.

MJ and Sophie shoot each other knowing looks. Claudia is a writer and has been working on her first novel for over a year. Now that she’s graduated and is moving in with her boyfriend, she’ll supposedly have time to finish her manuscript and get it agented, sold, and published. But every time they ask how it’s going, she’s got a new distraction.

MJ changes the subject. Ten hours till takeoff.

I still can’t believe you’re going to England. Sophie shakes her head and crosses her legs, drawing the attention of a few males nearby. I’d give anything for a glamorous trip like that.

I’m not sure spending ninety-nine percent of my time in the dorms or the labs is all that glamorous.

Well you’re both moving to new places while I’m stuck at home, so it all seems exciting to me.

Claudia rolls her eyes. Trust me, there’s nothing glamorous or exciting about the Midwest. She has been openly unenthused about the location of Eli’s job from day one.

If you’re looking for excitement, maybe you both could visit me sometime.

Sophie and Claudia smile politely.

Even at the prestigious ad agency she’ll soon be working for, Sophie is starting at the bottom of the totem pole. She has already mourned all the new shoes, bags, and dresses she won’t be able to afford. There’s definitely no transoceanic trip in her future. And Claudia has known since age nine that she would be a starving artist living in a cardboard box. Living with Eli only means a bigger, nicer cardboard box. Unfortunately, no matter how big or nice, cardboard boxes don’t fly.

That’d be nice, she says at the same time Sophie mumbles, Yeah, maybe.

They all smile at each other.

It’s going to be a lot harder to keep in touch, MJ says. She doesn’t mention how she has been fighting off tears for the past two weeks worrying about losing her friends. After a hard battle for scholarships, MJ can finally afford her dream of studying at a certain prestigious British university, but lately she’s been having second thoughts. She did enjoy a semester abroad before, but spending one to two years away from everyone she knows is a little different.

We’ll be all right, girls, Claudia reassures her friends. We’ve done this for the past four years of college.

After a moment’s hesitation, MJ and Sophie nod. To ease everyone’s minds, they move on, discussing lighter subjects like movies, music, politics, and parents.

Before they know it, it’s time to go. They all stand and head for the door. Just outside the café, they take turns hugging each other, then step back. Just as she’s about to wave and walk away, Claudia feels something on her shoulder and gasps. MJ and Sophie start laughing.

Shit! She means it literally. Is it some sort of sign that on the day we’re all embarking on a new phase of our lives, I got pooped on?

Sophie and MJ glance at each other. Nah!

MJ offers the napkin from her cappuccino. Claudia sighs and wipes the bird poop off her shoulder. They say goodbye once more, this time following through.

As they walk away, they all believe they have done a good job portraying confidence in their futures. They have grown up with high expectations and succeeded so far; why should things change now? Since childhood they have firmly placed one foot in front of the other, always following the right path.

And yet they can’t help wondering, Where, oh where, are we going?

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Episode 2: Jocks, jerks, nerds, and nitwits

When MJ, Sophie, and Claudia went to college, they were expecting the best four years of their lives. You’ll have a blast, they were told. You’ll make the greatest friends of your life. You’ll meet the men of your dreams.

They did have fun, and they did make friends, and they did meet men. But they also worked harder than they ever had before. They found drama and pettiness where they expected laughter and understanding. They encountered jocks, jerks, nerds, and nitwits. The promises fell short.

Still, all three had serious boyfriends in college. MJ dated Chris for two years, before deciding he was too serious about their relationship and their future. She was looking for something more fun, less intense. She hopes she can find it in England.

As a sophomore, Sophie realized that she could love her best guy friend, X, who had obviously adored her for years. They became closer and closer until soon they were almost one person. And maybe that was the problem: they shared the same space, the same words, the same air, and they suffocated each other. Now that they are broken up, they actually get along much better. Some people don’t notice the difference — they still seem like a couple — but Sophie and X notice. Because now they can breathe.

Claudia is considered the lucky one, at least in love. She and Eli have been together for over three years, and now they have a little house together, a puppy, a life. You never have to sit in your room alone, MJ emails one night as she’s banging her head against her biology textbook. You don’t have to wait until after 9 p.m. to call someone so that it’s free, Sophie says after X moves to the East Coast for a consultancy job.

…

In England, MJ goes to bops, the British equivalent of frat parties. The guys smile at her, and she smiles back, and she drinks more alcohol in four weeks than she ever did in her four years of college. (Which still isn’t very much.) She gets along with everyone she meets, but she doesn’t really know anyone. Especially not guys.

Then, two in particular become interested: Ben, an archer from Finland who once competed in the Olympics, and Sam, whose real name is actually Russian and very difficult to pronounce.

One night, all twenty international students decide to go see a movie together. They argue — jokingly — about which language they should watch it in. After finally agreeing on English, they buy their tickets and try to find a cluster of seats together. They are forced to split into two groups, and Ben and Sam both want to sit next to MJ. They argue — not jokingly.

I drank a lot of soda, so I should probably sit in the aisle just in case, Sam says. The aisle seat is next to MJ.

Oh, but I forgot my contacts, so I need to sit closer to the screen, Ben says. The rest of their group is four rows up.

They both look at MJ and smile. Who do you think needs this seat more? Sam asks.

MJ had always thought having two guys fighting over her would be fantastic, a thrill. Instead she’s irritated and embarrassed. They’ve put her on the spot. Plus the couple in the row behind them is glaring.

You know what? Why don’t you two sit here, and I’ll take that last seat with the other group. She hurries up the stairs before they can protest.

…

Meanwhile in the Midwest, the supposed lucky one is waiting anxiously for Eli to come home. Claudia has labored all day over her novel, but still she is not satisfied with the revisions to her manuscript. She’s hoping to relieve some stress with an ice cream outing.

Eli finally arrives home an hour late, his mouth in a tight line. He does not hug her or even say hello. He goes to his desk and fires up his laptop. Let’s order in tonight. I have a lot of work to do.

Claudia deflates instantly. With a sigh, she goes online to find the number of the closest pizza place. After they eat dinner in silence, with ESPN on in the background, she decides to mention her ice cream craving. Eli grimaces. I’m too tired. How about this weekend?

Oh. That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.

While he showers, she puts the dishes in the sink and then grabs her purse. She drives to the grocery store alone. The teenage clerk working the cashier eyes her pint of mint chocolate chip. She ignores his look of pity.

…

Over in Texas, Sophie settles in for a late night of work. She has a brief and a proposal due to a potential client in the morning, plus an in-progress presentation to her team. They’re launching a new advertising campaign for a local charity in just three days, and there’s still a lot of work to be done.

Feeling grubby in an old t-shirt and glasses, Sophie is reluctant to let X see her. They often chat online at night and occasionally use their webcams to see each other, so they feel less alone while they’re working.

Please? X’s plea comes through her laptop’s speakers. It’s been a long day and I just need to see your face.

After another moment’s hesitation, Sophie agrees. No laughing, she says as she clicks the Transmit Video button.

A little window with X’s face pops up on her screen. He smiles and waves. She waves back.

Why would I laugh? X asks. You look beautiful. You always do.

Now Sophie smiles.

They keep each other company till 2 a.m. her time, midnight his. Then they say good night and power down their computers. They go to their respective beds, pull the covers up to their chins. X grabs his extra pillow and hugs it tight. Sophie cuddles the stuffed hippopotamus X gave her before leaving. They fall asleep and dream of each other.

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Episode 3: Love thy neighbor

Sleek metal and glass mate to make the infamous Arden Advertising offices. Sophie works on the second floor and sits in the middle of a row of fancy designer cubicles. On her left is Reggie. On the right, an annoying prick who requested a personal space heater because he is always too cold. For some unfathomable reason the request was approved, and yet he still complains about the temperature.

Considering how much money I make for this place, you’d think they could afford to turn up the heat, he says loudly.

Sophie doesn’t even pretend to listen. In Texas, there are people who would kill for Arden’s cool climate. Plus, he doesn’t really make them that much money. He just sits in team meetings and tries to stay awake, usually without success. But because his voice is the most frequently heard at every presentation — he parrots whatever the team leader says — he sounds like a big contributor, and is credited accordingly.

Everyone calls him the Megaphone.

…

MJ wouldn’t mind a megaphone herself. Or at least some ear plugs. The girl in the next room over is spending some quality time with her boyfriend — some very high-pitched quality time — and MJ can’t decide whether to explode at them or to shove her fingers in her ears and chant la la la la la until they’re done. She opts for a compromise.

After composing a reasonable but icy note, MJ slips the paper under her neighbor’s door and then retreats to the lounge on the first floor. She smiles when she sees Ben, the Finnish archer, channel surfing on the sofa.

Hey, she says, walking over to join him.

Hi, he says, scooting over to make room. What brings you down and out of your shell?

What am I, a turtle?

He laughs at her joke. MJ sighs as she launches into the explanation, and Ben grimaces in sympathy. If you ever need a quiet place to study, my door is always open. Well, not literally, but you can knock.

She laughs at his joke. Thanks. He’s looking at her quite intently, with soft, sea-colored eyes. As the heat rises in her chest, she already knows she can’t take him up on his offer. She would never get any work done.

She clears her throat and turns to the TV. What are you watching?

You. Neither of them laugh, because it isn’t a joke. Sensing her discomfort, he too shifts to face the television. I usually watch animals mating on the Discovery Channel, but I’m guessing you’ve had enough of that tonight. How about some BBC news instead?

Perfect, MJ says, forcing herself to relax her grip on her textbook.

…

A sleek greyhound and crazy collie mated to make Max, and Claudia has to walk the little guy three or four times a day to keep him sane. They’ve met a fair number of neighbors thanks to all these outings. Some are sweet and harmless, like the elderly twin sisters next door. Some are strange and mildly alarming, like the man who called them up to his front porch while he smoked something that was definitely not a cigarette. He also had a long snake of snot dripping from his nose. With everyone, Claudia smiles and nods and makes polite chit-chat. Then she and Max continue on their way.

One day Claudia feels too groggy to take Max on his morning walk. Go potty and come back, she orders, letting him out the back door. He obeys the first half of her command.