Choice Makers

By Eleanor Cocreham

Charlotte Avery: Hopelessly in love with her married boss abandons a successful career and endearing friendships to seek happiness elsewhere.

Publisher playboy Marc Holloman: Avoids commitment until lovely Charlotte bursts into his life and forces him to confront self-erected barriers.

Jonathan Wanamaker: Straight-laced father of six never cheats on his soul mate until an irresistible temptation reveals his family is not enough.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wings ePress, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 9, 2013
• ISBN: 9781597052641

Book preview

Choice Makers

Waves splashed high against the sea wall. Brilliant stars glittered overhead. Swaying to familiar love songs, their movements sensuous reminders of the tantalizing kisses they’d exchanged earlier, Marc murmured in Charlotte’s ear. A night made for love.

Just the thought of making love heightened their awareness of each other. Soon the physical desires overtaking them earlier escalated beyond lingering gazes and an increasing press of bodies.

Unable to wait much longer, Marc urged Charlotte deep into the shadows, pulled her hips close and tilted them forward to feel how much he wanted her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him, burying her face in his shoulder. Her response left little doubt in Marc’s mind there would be no more withdrawals from her once they reached their suite. She seemed willing to give him whatever he wanted. But until he was sure, he wasn’t taking chances. He led her back onto the dance floor and waited for a sign she was ready to leave.

The band continued to play until the footlights flickered out, leaving them to find their way in the dark. Neither spoke.

They entered the dimly lit suite with the tension between them palatable. Charlotte shifted uncertainly, her heartbeat erratic. Marc heard her raspy breathing and wrapped an arm around her and lifted her chin with the palm of his hand. Don’t stop me now. I really need you.

Table of Contents

What They Are Saying About Choice Makers

Choice Makers Title Page

Dedication

Chapters

Epilogue

Meet Eleanor Cocreham

Other Works by Eleanor Cocreham

What They Are Saying About Choice Makers

Making a choice takes but a moment. Living with the consequences lasts forever. First-time author, Eleanor Cocreham, takes the reader on a whirlwind adventure, complete with all the glamour of high society romance. Her attention to setting and detail is surpassed only by her vivid and memorable portrayal of characters. This is one you will want to read again and again.

—Sylvia Rochester

(The Sweet Smell of Death

When Evil Loves

Wings ePress.com

Choices are made, lives altered, love defined in this pager-turner debut novel by Eleanor Cocreham. Hold on for a passionate ride from Big Sur, to Denver, New York, Paris and back. This book will leave you breathless!

—Elaine Grant

Make Believe Mom

Harlequin Super Romance

A romance that is so true to the ironies of life you laugh, you ache, you cry and wonder how the writer so magnificently captured it all. Unrequited love, awakened sensuality and love of family all in a single tale, along with glamour, rich men and very strong, beautiful woman. Ms. Cocreham attacked the tough subjects and revealed the greatest truth of all. Love has the power to move mountains, even the human pebbles that cling to the cliff of fate. This is a MUST read, but keep the tissues close by.  You will need them.  This author is destined for greatness.  

—Foxpaw Reviews

http://careyfoxlady.googlepages.com

5 foxtails

Choice Makers

Eleanor Cocreham

A Wings ePress, Inc.

Contemporary Romance Novel

Edited by: Anita York

Copy Edited by: Susanne Knight

Senior Editor: Anita York

Executive Editor: Lorraine Stephens

Cover Artist: Trisha Fitzgerald

All rights reserved

Names, characters and incidents depicted in this book are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or the publisher.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Wings ePress Books

Copyright © 2008 by Eleanor Cocreham

ISBN 978-1-59705-264-1

Published by Wings ePress, Inc. at Smashwords

Wings ePress Inc.

3000 N. Rock Road

Newton, KS 67114

Dedication

To my patient Bill for giving me the freedom to write, and the great family and wonderful friends who cheer me on.

One

1982

Charlotte Avery never meant to fall in love with her best friend’s husband. But once she became Jonathan Wanamaker’s protégé, she found him impossible to resist. Now she had to face the consequences.

Ambling along the beach in the shallow surf, her sneakers squishing in the foam of low tide, she spied the half-buried driftwood on the beach holding her gear and left the water to watch the sunset. She spread her towel over the log with tears clouding her vision and swallowed hard to force down the lump that threatened to close her throat.

I can’t do this. I’ll just die without Jonathan and those children.

No you won’t.

Charlotte flinched. The last thing she needed was a reminder of her own stupidity. Leave me alone.

You cannot change your mind now. You’ve gone too far!

Honest enough to admit to having doubts, Charlotte clasped her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms. At twenty she’d become Executive Assistant to a successful entrepreneur and had quickly earned a reputation for being brilliant—a veritable genius in matters of business. Then she became totally involved with his family and had fallen so crazy in love with him, that ten years later she was still single and pining for a man she could never have. Just how smart was that?

Leaving is so much harder than I expected. How will I live? she wailed.

Get a grip, Avery, and quit being a wimp.

This life is all I ever wanted.

Not anymore.

Where will I go? What will I do?

Cut the theatrics. You can go anywhere. Do anything. Jonathan taught you that.

Battling her emotions, desperate to blot out the kaleidoscopic images of her wonderful years with the Wanamaker family, Charlotte wondered if she would make such a sacrifice if, as lovers, she and Jonathan had betrayed his wife. Moot question. They hadn’t. Nor would they. Her incredible mentor would always be faithful to his wife.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away as Jonathan’s eldest son approached, ending the four-mile run she’d abandoned.

He loped towards her, his chest heaving from exertion. Thought you said you needed exercise. How come you quit so soon?

She forced a smile. Out of shape, I guess.

Dan’s gaze slid over her and he grinned back. Yeah. Right. Over the hill at thirty.

Not wanting to encourage the crush the seventeen year old had on her, Charlotte quickly stood and grabbed her warm-ups, covering her skimpy shorts and top.

Assuming she was ready to return to the house, Dan gathered his belongings also and started across the sand. He turned when he realized she had made no effort to follow. You coming?

She shook her head. Not yet.

Okay. I’ll stay too.

No. Go. I won’t be late.

Dan laughed but didn’t argue. Sure you will. You’re always late.

Fragmented thoughts crowded Charlotte’s mind as Dan crossed the beach in long strides and scaled the steep steps. She loved sharing these Big Sur sunsets with others; maybe she should have let him stay this one last time.

No.

Alone was best.

Saying goodbye to all she loved dearly was difficult enough without Jonathan’s look-alike-son hanging out with her.

Crimson rays streaked the sky as birds in formation skimmed the water and sandpipers scurried through the ebbing surf. Taking in the familiar scenes, she wanted to howl in despair. How would she survive elsewhere?

You didn’t expect this to be easy, did you?

Never this hard, she murmured.

The effects of the long, arduous day took a heavy toll. Too drained to offer even a mild protest to her nagging inner voice, Charlotte stood, brushed sand from her pants with jerky movements and grabbed the rest of her things. She retrieved the toys scattered across the beach, storing the balls, small pails and shovels into the old pirate’s trunk emblazoned with skull and crossbones wedged between stacks of petrified wood. The memory of Jonathan’s conspiratorial wink when his children ‘unearthed’ the chest years ago could still make her smile.

Her footsteps slowed at the uncertainties ahead. Even facing the family at dinner seemed an insurmountable task. She wished for assurance that her choices were the right ones and by leaving, she would find the life she so desperately craved.

Suddenly an eagle soared out from his nest on the highest cliff. Watching his flight as he circled low, Charlotte’s heart leaped. Could this late appearance by the elusive bird the children hunted that morning be the omen she sought? A sign she too would find a safe haven to spread her wings? Oh, make it so, she prayed. Make it so.

Her optimism dissipated once the eagle vanished and the day’s activities rushed in to taunt her. She thought of how she channeled the children’s activities throughout the day and blundered time and again because of Jonathan. He’d shown up on the beach unexpectedly and she’d gotten so flustered, she had to force smiles and fake enthusiasm for the games the small ones loved to play.

Trudging through the sand, she railed at Jonathan. Make believe is what I do best, Daddy dear, but no, you had to tag along during my last precious hours with your kids. It was my time with them, Jonathan. Mine. Why do you keep changing the rules?

Don’t be an ass, Avery. He didn’t change the rules. You did!

Painful thoughts churned in Charlotte’s head as she started up the steep stairs. She made it half way up the cliff before she turned and took one last look at the coast she loved so much. Her breath quickened seeing the wind gust in violent spurts and ruffle the sand into long slender ribbons—how the massive rocks off shore jutted skyward and tamed the pounding waves into foamy submission. Closing her eyes to cache each image forever in her mind, she smothered a sob at all she would lose.

When she could breathe evenly again, she resumed the climb, but faltered when she reached the top and saw the fading light reflected in Windcliff’s long windows. Whether by design or by nature, the house glowed like a jewel amid the lush foliage and towering trees. Moisture gathered in her eyes and ran down her cheeks and she knew with absolute certainty that someday when memories were less painful to recall, she would again think of Windcliff this way. But now, seeing it for the last time, trying to check the flow of tears was futile.

How long she stood crying while darkness closed in around her, she wasn’t sure. She only knew that giving into her emotions helped to ease the heartache. All too soon lights from the house flickered on as if beckoning her through the encompassing mist. She wiped her face, took another deep breath, and ran across the lawn. When she reached the house, she sprinted up the outside staircase and raced down the hall to her room.

She showered quickly and redressed in the drab office attire she’d traveled in the day before. Raking a comb through her short, damp curls, she saw her reflection in the mirror and realized the shirt’s stark white fabric leached the color from her tear-swollen face. Quickly shedding the black pinstriped suit and blouse, she reached into her suitcase for one of the few items she had brought with her—a flashy green sweater and pants set she’d recently purchased but had not had the courage to wear.

Next, she tried to fix the damage to her face with the few cosmetic samples she had acquired. Peering intently into the mirror at her crimson cheeks and mascara coated lashes, she decided the ravages from a long crying jag did look less obvious.

It’s the best I can do. I’m new at this beauty business, she murmured to her unfamiliar image.

Moments later, two diminutive, blue-eyed, four-year-old girls burst across the threshold and headed for the dressing table.

Mommy says you’re late, Charley, they chorused in unison. Stubby fingers grabbed for a lipstick tube

Charlotte smothered a laugh. She adored these twins, and was unsure which one was abusing her new lipstick—Laurie or Lani—since they were so alike even their family had difficulty telling them apart. Trying not to grin, she grabbed a small hand and tissues to undo the red smears. Hold still, little clown. Unless you want to go downstairs looking like you joined the circus, you’d better let me make you pretty.

She applied a hint of color to each child’s lips, swiped a smidgen of blush across their cheeks and nuzzled their necks to make them squeal. Loving them like they were her own, she lifted each up to the mirror to see their images, then put them back on their feet and patted their little fannies. I’m late. Remember? Let’s run.

The girls’ bursts of giggles and short baby legs made hurried progress impossible. Charlotte’s laughter mingled with theirs as the twins navigated the steps and dragged her across the bright Serape rug to face their parents.

The children wrapped themselves around their father’s legs and tugged at his pants. Look at us, Daddy. We look pretty, like Charley.

Jonathan pried the girls loose, hefted one into each of his arms and kissed them. As he lowered the twins to the floor, he looked at Charlotte and whistled. Wow. Charley does look pretty, doesn’t she?

Unaccustomed to wearing makeup or bright colors around her employer, Charlotte flushed at the compliment. She looked away from his twinkling cobalt gaze and took refuge in his ten-year-old daughter, who clamored for her attention.

What is it, darling? Charlotte asked, hugging the child.

I kept calling you from the cliffs, the petulant girl whined. You wouldn’t answer me.

I’m sorry, Emily. You know voices are hard to hear down there over the roar of the surf.

Anne Wanamaker appeared at Charlotte’s side and put a restraining hand on Emily. Don’t badger Charlotte. She’s just begun her vacation and needs some time alone.

Charlotte smiled and mussed Emily’s hair. It’s okay, sweetheart. I don’t mind. Guess why I’m late?

Emily stuck out her chin and didn’t answer.

Come on, Em. Guess. I’ll give you a hint. What did we spend a lot of time doing today?

You should know. You and Daddy made up the games.

Before the games.

We looked for the bird nest. Behind her little gold-rimmed glasses Emily’s eyes lit in excitement. Oh, Charley! You found it?

Better than that. I saw the eagle. He flew right over my head as if knowing he would be safe. Perhaps living so near to the house tamed him.

I want to see him. Take me there tomorrow.

Charlotte’s arms tightened around the child. If her plans did not go awry tonight there would be no tomorrows with Emily. The sudden realization vibrated through her as if she’d been slapped.

Anne grasped Charlotte’s arm as though she felt the tremor. What’s wrong?

Wrong? Charlotte asked, faking ignorance.

You’re trembling, Anne insisted.

Charlotte ducked her head and Anne gave her another probing look before she spoke to Emily. Jaime looks stumped. You’re good at working hard puzzles, go see if you can help him.

Anne waited until the child joined her brother at the game table before she continued her conversation with Charlotte. Emily does tend to get on one’s nerves.

Not mine, Anne. I love her. As I do all your children.

I know, but sometimes Emily is so clingy she drives me crazy. You tell me if she becomes a nuisance.

Sure, but she never will.

Anne’s eyes reflected skepticism. I wish I could believe you.

Jonathan arrived bearing glasses. Why so serious, you two? You haven’t touched your drinks, and we still have some time before dinner.

Charlotte’s face flushed. You shouldn’t have waited dinner for me.

No problem. Jonathan grinned. We knew you’d be late when Dan came in alone.

Anne excused herself to oversee the twins’ supper. Charlotte eased away from Jonathan and seated herself on the hearth. Soon her insecurities resurfaced and she held her palms to the glowing flames wishing its warmth could fill the coldness inside her. If Anne noticed her apprehension, so could Jonathan. And if he became suspicious of her actions, nothing would stop his scrutiny. He would uncover her deception and somehow, someway, find a way to keep her in his Denver office.

Where’d you go, Charlotte? Anne joked, appearing in front of her again.

Startled out of her reverie, Charlotte stammered, Sorry. I wasn’t listening. What did you say?

I just said it’s nice seeing you in something pretty. She glanced at her husband, who had joined the children and was adding a piece to the jigsaw puzzle. I wouldn’t be caught dead in those clothes his staff wears. Where does Jon get those outmoded ideas?

Charlotte’s gaze followed Anne’s to the handsome, black-haired man wearing a red knit shirt and pressed but well-worn jeans. He doesn’t look much like a boss tonight, does he? And I don’t mind about the suits, Anne. It’s only during business hours.

I wouldn’t wear them even then, Anne muttered before leaving again to check on dinner.

Watching Anne walk away, Charlotte couldn’t hide her admiration for the successful artist who’d married at nineteen; given birth at twenty; juggled six active children, a workaholic husband, two large, well-staffed homes; yet retained her individuality. Anne epitomized the perfect helpmate for a successful entrepreneur husband. How could a single working girl, even a successful one, ever be a rival for Jonathan’s affection? The mere thought was ludicrous. One wouldn’t pit a department store rhinestone against a Tiffany diamond.

Seated where she was with the children’s conversations with their daddy flowing around her, Charlotte remained only conscious of Jonathan. She stared into the fire, letting impressions form, scatter, and take substance, only to fade again with the rise and fall of his voice. Through lowered lids, she studied the contrast between an uncompromising employer and a father who stripped his ultra-conservatism as easily as his starched shirts when he was among his family.

Each enduring trait heightened Charlotte’s desire for the man she could never have. You didn’t know what you were doing when you brought me into your world, did you, Jonathan? I was young and greedy, and wanted so much. But it’s turned out all wrong. I can’t have any part of what I really want, and if you, or Anne, found out what I’m feeling, it would destroy me. I can’t let that happen even if I lose everything I have.

Despair overwhelmed Charlotte at the thought of a bleak, lonely future.

What is wrong with you tonight, Charlotte? You’ve gone off again.

Charlotte stared at Anne, and leaped to her feet. Had she spoken her thoughts aloud? Do you need help with dinner?

Anne frowned. No. But you seem to need something. I’ve never seen you so distracted.

I’m all right. Honestly. I’m just having trouble winding down from a busy month. When did you schedule your art exhibit?

Anne didn’t persist, but Charlotte could tell by her expression she wasn’t fooled by the change in subject.

The fourth weekend in August. Same as last year. Francis expects everyone, including you, to be there.

Judging by the new paintings hanging in the entrance, the show’s bound to be another great success, Charlotte said.

Francis agrees, although he’s only viewed photographs.

The man is never wrong. You have no idea how many offers I’ve had for the paintings you’ve given me. I still wish you’d let me pay for them.

Nonsense. Keeping my children entertained during your summer visits is payment enough. With all the obligations the school year brings, I get more work done here at Windcliff than I do at home.

You’re much too generous.

Don’t be silly. Come, Anne ordered when the maid appeared in the doorway. Dinner’s ready.

~ * ~

Charlotte longed to disappear along with the scattering children when dinner ended, but until the ritual coffee was served, she had to remain at the table. She smiled, listening to the endearing thirteen-year-old boy ask permission to attend a party in a voice which wouldn’t stay in the same octave. Jaime’s happy-go-lucky attitude touched something deep within Charlotte whose childhood had been void of such light-heartedness.

Years of watching Jonathan’s two sons convinced her Daniel’s astonishing looks would attract women throughout his lifetime. However, Jaime, with his sweet smile and gentle ways, could easily break their hearts.

Her nervousness increased as the evening wore on. She glanced repeatedly at her watch while trying to remain calm. Acting surprised was vital for her scheme to work. But even prepared for her assistant’s call from Denver, she panicked when the houseboy summoned her to the telephone. The cup Anne had just filled slipped through her fingers and coffee flowed over the white damask cloth in a rapidly widening stain. She dabbed furiously at the spill to no avail. Unnerved by the two pairs of startled eyes fastened on her, she bolted from the table.

Fully aware Anne and Jonathan’s curiosity would be piqued since she never received personal messages at Windcliff, Charlotte paused a moment before a hall pier mirror to gather her courage. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and re-entered the dining room, ready with her fabrications.

Both Jonathan and Anne turned inquiring faces. Keeping her voice steady, Charlotte announced, There’s a family emergency. I have to go home in the morning.

Whose family? Jonathan asked, clearly startled.

Mine.

Charlotte felt her bravado almost deserting her. Jonathan’s reaction was justified. She’d never mentioned her family during their association. She kept her eyes on him and lied again. Seems I’m needed to help solve a major problem. My flight goes out at nine.

You’ll have to leave at dawn, Jonathan exclaimed. Wait and I’ll arrange for the company jet to take you.

No. No. My ticket’s been purchased. Please excuse me, I need to tell the girls goodbye before they go to sleep.

Before she could escape, Anne rose and put out a hand and stopped her. How soon will you be back?

She hesitated, as if considering. In a week or two if things work out. I really am sorry.

Emily will be crushed. You know how she looks forward to having you here for the whole month. Is there anything we can do to help?

Shaking her head, Charlotte again edged towards the door. Thanks for offering, but I won’t know until I get there. She grew pale when Jonathan rose and followed her out. The temptation to lean against him when his arm slipped around her shoulders caused her to stumble. His grip tightened as he steadied her, forcing her to twist away from the lure of his body. I’ll alert Natalie the moment I get in. She’ll take good care of the office.

I’m aware of your secretary’s capabilities, Jonathan said. We’ll make out fine. You stay as long as necessary and call if we can be of assistance.

Charlotte nodded and ran swiftly up the stairs in search of Emily. She found her alone in the playroom sitting before a blaring television screen. Lowering the volume, she dropped down beside Emily, and pushed aside the bangs falling over the child’s eyes. Where are the twins?

Asleep.

And the boys?

Who cares?

The sadness in Emily’s small voice hurt. And you’re left all alone.

Yeah.

She pulled the child close. I love you, Em.

I love you too.

How long will big sis be at camp?

Another couple of weeks.

You miss her, don’t up?

Yeah. Sometimes.

Charlotte tightened her arms around the girl. I doubt she’ll go to camp much longer. Most girls stop when they turn sixteen and start to date. You’ll go soon and find out how much fun camp can be.

Emily shook her head. I don’t need to go to any old camp. I have you.

Drawing a shaky breath, Charlotte pulled the child closer. I have something unpleasant to tell you and I want you to promise not to get upset.

Emily’s big blue eyes rounded behind her glasses. What?

I’m leaving in the morning.

But you’re coming back.

As much as she wanted to, Charlotte couldn’t lie to the child. She was just too special. No, Em. Not for a long time, but I haven’t told your parents yet. It’s to be our secret for a while. Okay?

Emily nodded and Charlotte knew the secret would be kept.

Please don’t go. I need you, Emily pleaded, burying her head into Charlotte’s shoulder

I know, sweetheart, but I have to, Charlotte said, blinking to keep back the tears.

But why?

I… Charlotte’s voice cracked. As much as she wanted to explain, the lies refused to come like they had before. She rocked Emily back and forth waiting for the girl to calm down before she continued. Someone else needs me, Em. But I’ll write you often. And I want you to answer my letters. I’ve even brought you a surprise so you won’t forget.

You know I don’t like surprises.

Charlotte ached for herself and the small child choking back sobs. You’ll like this one. It’s a box of cute notepaper engraved with your name. Do you want to come with me while I look in on the twins and tell Dan goodbye?

Emily sighed and shook her head no.

Well, okay. After I pack, I’ll bring your gift and tell you a new story. All about a pretty girl like you.

I’m not pretty. I’m not even cute.

Yes you are, precious. And someday you’ll be beautiful. The most beautiful girl in the world. Just you wait and see.

Emily threw her arms around Charlotte’s neck and clung. You’re so silly, Charley.

Charlotte forced back more tears. Knowing the look of disappointment on Emily’s face would haunt her forever, she kissed the girl’s soft cheek, pulled away and escaped.

Quietly entering the twins’ semi-darkened room, she tiptoed to their bed. A spasm of protest for an empty womb gripped her abdomen. She clasped her hips to ease the sensation as tears stung the backs of her eyelids. If only the twins belonged to her and Jon—oh, God, what is wrong with me? How can I betray Anne even in thought?

Charlotte straightened sheets, retrieved fallen blankets, and with extreme caution, extracted the thumbs buried deep in the small girls’ mouths. The tiny calloused joints slid back into place as she carefully smoothed away the frowns appearing on their foreheads. She leaned down and kissed each one, then slipped out and closed the door.

Dan grabbed her as soon as she entered the hall. You can’t leave, Charley. Not with the sailing races scheduled next week. We’re counting on you.

Charlotte hated to hurt Dan, but if it took pain to burn her bridges she would do it. I have to go.

At his stricken look she stretched to kiss his cheek and was immediately crushed in strong arms. Dan planted his lips on hers with youthful vigor. She pushed him away, scolding, None of that, kid.

Looking pleased with himself, he laughed. Lighten up, Char. All the guys have been wanting to do that. Come on. Don’t go. You’re the crew’s inspiration in a bikini.

Charlotte felt her face flush. She never wore the skimpy suit anywhere but with these kids. Yeah, sure. You just need me along to buy the beer. Guess now you’ll have to do without.

Suddenly turning serious, she clutched Dan’s arm. Promise me you’ll look after Emily. Make sure she isn’t left out of activities. Please, Dan, she urged, seeing his frown. Do it for me.

I will, but do you know how unhappy she’s going to be without you?

If I could stay I would. Oh. I almost forgot. Congratulations.

Dan looked puzzled. For…?

Going to Harvard. Your dad told me.

I don’t go until next year.

Realizing her error, Charlotte covered the slip. I know, but when I heard about your acceptance I didn’t want to wait. Well, I have to run. I promised Em a story later. Remember now. Take care of her for me. Bye, Dan. She spun around and hurried down the hall—trying not to run.

~ * ~

Anne watched the exchange between Charlotte and her son from the top step and scowled at him after Charlotte vanished. When he started to speak she shook her head, touched his shoulder briefly and went towards Charlotte’s bedroom. She hesitated at the closed door, reversed her steps and entered her own rooms instead. She undressed slowly, slipped on her nightgown and sat down before the dressing table mirror.

Lost in thought Anne didn’t notice Jonathan’s reflection in the glass until he took the hairbrush from her hand. He began to stroke her hair, and without preamble Anne revealed her thoughts. "Charlotte looked lovely tonight in makeup and bright clothes, but I’ve never seen her so obviously unhappy. And a