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Red Scarf Girl: A Memoir of the Cultural Revolution
Red Scarf Girl: A Memoir of the Cultural Revolution
Red Scarf Girl: A Memoir of the Cultural Revolution
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Red Scarf Girl: A Memoir of the Cultural Revolution

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Publishers Weekly Best Book * ALA Best Book for Young Adults * ALA Notable Children's Book * ALA Booklist Editors' Choice

Moving, honest, and deeply personal, Red Scarf Girl is the incredible true story of one girl’s courage and determination during one of the most terrifying eras of the twentieth century. 

It's 1966, and twelve-year-old Ji-li Jiang has everything a girl could want: brains, popularity, and a bright future in Communist China. But it's also the year that China's leader, Mao Ze-dong, launches the Cultural Revolution—and Ji-li's world begins to fall apart. Over the next few years, people who were once her friends and neighbors turn on her and her family, forcing them to live in constant terror of arrest. And when Ji-li's father is finally imprisoned, she faces the most difficult dilemma of her life.

Written in an accessible and engaging style, this page-turning autobiography will appeal to readers of all ages, and it includes a detailed glossary and a pronunciation guide.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperCollins
Release dateOct 26, 2010
ISBN9780062035349
Author

Ji-li Jiang

Ji-li Jiang was born in Shanghai, China, in 1954. She graduated from Shanghai Teachers' College and Shanghai University and was a science teacher before she came to the United States in 1984. After her graduation from the University of Hawaii, Ms. Jiang worked as an operations analyst for a hotel chain in Hawaii,then as budget director for a health-care company in Chicago. In 1992 she started her own company, East West Exchange, to promote cultural exchange between Western countries and China.

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Rating: 4.195652173913044 out of 5 stars
4/5

46 ratings31 reviews

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I finished it in a day. It's a brilliant book. I love how the author shows just how much the people inside the system didn't understand it. The children are oblivious, blindly crossing each other to do what they think is right. They are told that the government is doing the right thing. Up until about halfway through the book, the main protagonist has no doubt that the government was doing what was right for everyone. Great read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A "must read" for everyone!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Very insightful, emotive memoir that does not assume previous knowledge on the topic. Although I have read several books on the Cultural Revolution, this text is certainly the most memorable in that it presents the difficult life choices people living in this historical period had to make. This memoir is a great introduction to the Cultural Revolution and I highly recommend it as a classroom text.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    i had to do it for an essay. but it wasn't soaked with important information, so, you had to go digging through the book. I'm really writer, i don't have a meaning of disrespect!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was a really sad book for me, the author who is just a few years older then me, had to go through this while I grew up obliviously on the other side of the world watching Star Trek on TV and going to summer camp. The 13 year old girl was sent to a farm commune and worked close to death.


    The best part is the uplifting ending and the author's determination to try to improve things for the country she still loves.

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    An absolute must read. A candid account of a child who lived through the Chinese Cultural Revolution. Never say it can't happen here... it can.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Jiang Ji-li was born on Chinese New Year. Her name Ji-li means lucky and beautiful. She was twelve when the Cultural Revolution started. A promising student and quite a fan of Mao at first joins her classmates in denouncing the Four Olds (“old ideas, old culture, old customs, old habits”), but soon discovers that her family’s class status (her grandfather was a landlord) places her under the scrutiny of her relatives, neighbors and classmates. Their house is subject to searches, they burn old photos, hide or disguise ‘bourgeois’ belongings, her father is taken in for questioning, and Ji-Li watches as her bright future dims.

    For me, the most appalling moment was when her father’s work unit comrades question Ji-Li at school, telling the teenager to choose between two paths:

    “You can break with your family and follow Chairman Mao, or you can follow your father and become an enemy of the people.”

    I can’t imagine having to live a life like this, full of worries – and not just your usual teenaged worries, but worrying about your parents and grandmother and siblings, about all kinds of things:

    “I not only needed to manage our limited incomes and take care of Mom’s bad healthy, I had to bear the stares and the gossiping of our neighbours and attend the study sessions at school. But these were not my biggest worries. The worry of tomorrow haunted me constantly. I worried that Grandma would be sent to the countryside, as other landlords had been, and would be punished by the farmers there. I worried that Mom would be detained for attempting to help Dad. I worried that Dad would be beaten to death for his stubbornness. I worried that Ji-yong’s temper would get him in trouble, and that Ji-yun would be so frightened that she would never laugh again. Worst of all, I worried that by not hiding the letter well enough, I had ruined our lives forever.”

    What a sad story this Red Scarf Girl is. What a terrifying experience for such a young girl to go through

    Originally posted on my blog Olduvai Reads
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Red Scarf Girl is the memoir of young a young girl living during the Cultural Revolution, her name is Ji-Li Jiang. At the start, Ji-Li was the top student in her class who encouraged anything having to do with the current revolution. As the story progresses, Ji-Li struggles with her class status because her grandfather was once a landlord. Because of her current 'black' class status, Ji-Li is forced to lose many opportunities in the community. As the Cultural Revolution progresses, Ji-Li and her family encounters many abuses towards them because of their class standing. Now Ji-Li finally has the chance to become socially accepted by becoming an educable child, but at the cost of abandoning her family for the rest of her life. This memoir of a 12 year old girl having to deal with her internal conflict in the Cultural Revolution is an amazing read for anyone curious about the conditions of communist China in the mid 1900s. 5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Would recommend to any World History student.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Absolute power corrupts absolutely

    The Cultural Revolution in China brought vague images of giant posters of Mao and city people shipped to farms to labor. Jiang Ji-li puts a real face and heart to events that Americans can hardly imagine. This story of her life and the daily suffering of her family branded as black landlords (due to actions of a grandfather 30 years dead), is a shocking reminder of what happens when political beliefs, power and ideology rule over basic kindness and common sense. Important work that should be read by anyone wanting to understand China and the dangers of setting class against class.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Ji-Li Jiang's memoir of her young girl year during the Cultural Revolution is riveting, horrifying, deeply moving account. At the end of her elementary school days, Ji-Li was the girl most likely to succeed, star student, martial art performer, and student body leader. Before the school year is out Mao's Cultural Revolution takes hold upturning her world and home. Her star status as a student is held against her by young revolutionaries. Her family background as former landlords leads to the family's descent into a political hell.

    Written in a spare style, Jiang captures her emotional struggle to be loyal to her family while still trying to prove herself do be an "educable child" despite her family's "black" status in a way that will touch young readers. As a tender hearted child Ji-Li also struggles to balance her own revolutionary zeal with her horror of the persecution of her neighbors. A few years ago I had a 12 year old student who never read anything but Manga, rarely did her work, and had a litany of discipline issues. She was just too cool for school. I suppose I should add she happened to be one of my favorites despite all that. I spent half a year trying to keep out of trouble and the other half cheering her on as she began to pull herself up to star student status herself. That year Ji-Li came to our school to speak to the 7th graders. My student was so excited; she had a list of questions. At the end of Jiang's presentations she stood up, tears in her eyes, and called out, "I love you Ji-Li Jiang! Peace!" My girl seems to have read at least book before, and Jiang's book was that one. Little Miss Cool was so touched by the book she had actually read it several times. Now that I have read it myself I understand my student's response entirely. I too love Ji-Li. Still love that kid too even though she was a major pain for most of the year.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Compelling story of what childhood was like during the Communist Revolution.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I never read or did any study of China's 20th century history so when I picked up this book to read I did not know what to expect. The book is a memoir written about Jiang's life during the China's Cultural Revolution, in which Mao Zedong created. The story is anything but pleasant. I was sad and scared for Jiang and her family as I read the book. I really appreciated what what Jiang wrote because she did an amazing job of telling a part of China's history in an easy and understandable way, which most other history books have trouble doing. This book is a must read for those who are interested in or for those who don't know anything about China's history.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    In a true account written 30 years after it took place Ms. Jiang did an outstanding job of creating her voice as a child. It was very simply written but very, very effective at conveying the confusion, stress and fear of a child trying to reconcile the beliefs with which she's been thoroughly indoctrinated by a government in complete control with what she's witnessing around her and what's happening to her family and herself.

    The ending caught me off guard but I can understand why she may have chose to end the story at that point and the epilogue answered some questions and briefly wrapped things up.

    It was a very worthwhile read.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Engaging, plainly-written memoir of a young girl's life during the Chinese cultural revolution. While the writing is simple, the story is a good one and Ji-Li's emotions are well told.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    While geared for YA readers (and I highly recommend this biography), Jiang's book is a harsher book compared to some of the other's I've read. Jiang's family is considered a 'black' family (against the CCP) and she suffers the consequences, even though she's not directly responsible for anything. She doesn't pull back from the hard life she led, but nor does she shy away from talking about the good things (however few and far between they were). A good supplement to people interested in the Cultural Revolution and a great book for teens interested in China.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This autobiographical non-fiction book is a Ji-li Jiangs's historical account of life during the Chinese Cultural Revolution. Because she was a wealthy girl she was criticized by the Red Guard for her family’s history. Not only does this book allow the reader to glimpse the world of Mao’s brainwashing, but it also documents Ji-li Jiang's personal struggles as temptations to denounce her family mounted in order to claim loyalty to her country. This book can be a great tool to expand students' knowledge of life in the east. This little girl experiences intense emotions and makes difficult decisions. Allowing my students to explore this decision making process and weigh the different things that are important to them can shed light on their place in the world. This book becomes more than just an autobiography. It encourages a reader to want to know more. I personally kept asking myself, "Why do I not know more about this?" A book that can spark an interest in a subject that I once was completely ignorant about can surely have a place on my bookshelf.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I have never studied the Cultural Revolution of China, so this book was a huge surprise to me. The book starts with 12 year old Ji-li Jiang during the beginning of the revolution. She does well in school and is very popular, but when she is selected to audition for the Central Liberation Army Arts Academy, her parents forbid her, knowing their class will effect her acceptance. Her parents try and shield her from much of the goings on, but she is still ridiculed for her social class because her grandfather was a landlord. The rise of the Red Guards starts to make the book seem like it is telling the story of the Holocaust. The Red Guards come in and search her house. Her father is detained among false accusations. She soon finds that her mother is trying to expose the Red Guards in a letter she is writing. The Red Guards come and search the house again and find the letter. Her mother and grandmother are punished and she is forced to take on the responsibility of her family. In the end, her father is released and they eventually move to America where she realizes how truly terrible Communism is, although she still feels a connection to her old country. She later starts a business in the hopes to bridge the gap between the two countries. I really enjoyed this book as I did not know much about the cultural revolution. It was interesting to read that in the end she still felt loyalties to her country, even though they were treated so badly there. I think this would be an excellent book for any high school student to read as Ji-li is easy to relate to.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book depicts two years in the life of a girl who begins as a dedicated revolutionary, and not until the end of this story does she become disillusioned with the revolutionary fervor sweeping China during the Cultural Revolution. This book is full of those intimate details of life during a tumultuous period of history such as how she has to get to market not only early but she must get in the fastest lines, and have others saving her spot in others. all this just to get the vegetables for the day's cooking. Red Scarf Girl is an emotional book which will make the reader love this girl, Ji Li, and hate the Red Guard and its many incarnations over the two years we are with her. The Red Guard are shown to be bullies and little else. The logic used is also simplistic as is shown when the shops that Ji Li decide are Four Olds are all made to change their names and even one will change its name to the exact name they had made up as elementary school children that day. The writing is engaging, if not miserable at times. This book would be invaluable as an introduction to the Cultural Revolution for students from High School onward.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Red Scarf Girl was a dollar pickup at my local thrift store. I was intrigued at the context and historical value but was let down at the less-than-fairy-tale ending. In fact, it's really anti-climatic. What it amounts to is a huge sad buildup that never resolves. I can't honestly say that it's one of the best memoirs on the planet (as some would claim in some reviews) but it is historically relevant and appropriately aimed at young adults.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This was so insightful into the turmoil that was the Cultural Revolution. My English teacher had us reading this in class, and I loved it!!!! I couldn't believe how willing the people were to believe so faithfully in "Chairman Mao". I was also shocked how quickly Ji-li's life just fell apart. She had all these amazing ambitions, such as going to Shi-Yi (an elite Shanghai high school). These all came crashing down when Mao took over. I'm amazed at how much Ji-li was able to cope with this massive change that changed her life forever. Reading this book really made me thankful for the simple things that so many Americans take for granted; freedom, safety, and self-expression. Every teen could benefit in some way from reading this book at some point in their life. I'm really thankful that I did.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have read several books about China's cultural revolution, and I wish I had found this book first. I loved that Jiang added a glossary at the back for words and phrases commonly used during that time. I felt she really wanted to bring understanding to the readers, and she did a wonderful heart felt job. You get a sense of that time, knowing that you could never fully understand unless you lived it too. I will be giving this book to my younger daughter to read soon, and hope it will be the starting point of a great love for all of the Asian culture-good and bad, and the strength of its people.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Last semester, I had my 9th graders read this book; a few enjoyed it and were interested in the Cultural Revolution. Ji-Li Jiang writes clearly and the book is moving; I've read better books about that time, but all in all, it gives a strong personal glimpse into that terrible time, and for that, and that alone, I would recommend it particularly for 9th to 12th graders.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Memoir of a young girl as she and her family live through the Cultural Revolution in China. Documents her struggle of who to trust - family or government. Text flows simply and beautifully. Includes: glossary.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I am similar to Ji Li, the main character of the book. I live in Shanghai and am about the same age. Personally, I think Red Scarf Girl is a book suitable for kids of all age, who are interested in learning about The Cultural Revolution.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is actually my daughters book - it was given to her by her 4th grade teacher while we were in our wait for referral. This is a good book. I read it in one day (although it is thick, it is written at about a Jr. High level). I hope Cierra reads it as it will give her quite an education on the cultural revolution. Highly recommend for your teens or even for adults.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Jiang Ji-li is just 12 years old when the Cultural Revolution sweeps through China. Once at the top of her class, she loses both her academic standing and the respect of her peers when her family's aristocratic history is revealed. Her home is ransacked, her parents interrogated and over and over again, she is given a choice: break ties with her "black" parents or share their dismal fate. What separates this book from dozens of other Cultural Revolution memoirs is Jiang Ji-li's ability to convey a child's-eye perspective of the events she witnessed. I clearly saw the conflict she and so many other children faced: kids instinctively love and respect their parents, but at the same time, the school system preached "parents are dear, but Chairman Mao is dearer" from kindergarten on. This, coupled with a child's desire to help their country and win approval from authority figures, forced children into a tough dilemma -- protect your family or protect your country and your own future. Although I found this book interesting and poignant, it is aimed at middle school students. The writing style and ideas the book deals with are correspondingly simple. 11- to 13-year-olds should be able to read this book and learn about world history without getting too upset. For adults who already know something about the Cultural Revolution, this would be a good choice to broaden your perspective. However, if it will be your first journey to China's recent political past, try an adult-level memoir first. Red Azalea by Anchee Min and Wild Swans by Jung Chang are both excellent.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Many Americans, myself included, have an opinion about China, Communism, or most likely both. What most of us have neglected to do is explore how valid our opinions are. Ji-Li Jiang's memoir was written for children, and because she is a teacher her book is very accessible for most elementary school-age kids. It's no less interesting or valuable for adults, though, simply because we are not her intended audience. Red Scarf Girl brings us with Ji-Li as she grows up in the height of China's cultural revolution, not long after the beginning of Communism in that country. It's an unclouded, child's-eye view of both what it's like to grow up in these conditions, as well as how political atrocities can take root in a community of normal, well-intentioned citizens. It also has strong themes of the importance of family, and of understanding your beliefs and the costs of holding them. This book was touching, frightening, hopeful, and infuriating by turns, and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone, especially in light of the upcoming Beijing Olympics.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Good children's story that shows how good people can be easily swayed by government censorship and media control.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Ji-li Jiang was twelve years old when Mao started his restructuring of the country that later became known as his Cultural Revolution. Her account was interesting, not revelatory for me, but had a quality in the narration that I really liked- even though it is a memoir, Jiang manages to narrate it in the voice of the brain washed twelve year old.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Incredibly sad story of a child living through the cultural revolution. Well written and teeming with lessons about history and how dangerous leadership without a well determined legal system can become.

Book preview

Red Scarf Girl - Ji-li Jiang

PROLOGUE

I was born on Chinese New Year.

Carefully, my parents chose my name: Ji-li, meaning lucky and beautiful. They hoped that I would be the happiest girl in the world.

And I was.

I was happy because I was always loved and respected. I was proud because I was able to excel and always expected to succeed. I was trusting, too. I never doubted what I was told: Heaven and earth are great, but greater still is the kindness of the Communist Party; father and mother are dear, but dearer still is Chairman Mao.

With my red scarf, the emblem of the Young Pioneers, tied around my neck, and my heart bursting with joy, I achieved and grew every day until that fateful year, 1966.

That year I was twelve years old, in sixth grade.

That year the Cultural Revolution started.

THE LIBERATION ARMY DANCER

Chairman Mao, our beloved leader, smiled down at us from his place above the blackboard. The sounds and smells of the tantalizing May afternoon drifted in through the window. The sweet breeze carried the scent of new leaves and tender young grass and rippled the paper slogan below Chairman Mao’s picture: STUDY HARD AND ADVANCE EVERY DAY. In the corner behind me the breeze also rustled the papers hanging from the Students’ Garden, a beautifully decorated piece of cardboard that displayed exemplary work. One of them was my latest perfect math test.

We were having music class, but we couldn’t keep our minds on the teacher’s directions. We were all confused by the two-part harmony of the Young Pioneers’ Anthem. We are Young Pioneers, successors to Communism. Our red scarves flutter on our chests, we sang over and over, trying to get the timing right. The old black pump organ wheezed and squeaked as impatiently as we did. We made another start, but Wang Dayong burst out a beat early, and the whole class broke into laughter.

Just then Principal Long appeared at the door. She walked in, looking less serious than usual, and behind her was a stranger, a beautiful young woman dressed in the People’s Liberation Army uniform. A Liberation Army soldier! She was slim and stood straight as a reed. Her eyes sparkled, and her long braids, tied with red ribbons, swung at her waist. There was not a sound in the classroom as all forty of us stared at her in awe.

Principal Long told us to stand up. The woman soldier smiled but did not speak. She walked up and down the aisles, looking at us one by one. When she finished, she spoke quietly with Principal Long. Tong Chao and Jiang Ji-li, Principal Long announced. Come with us to the gym. A murmur rose behind us as we left the room. Tong Chao looked at me and I looked at him in wonder as we followed the swinging braids.

The gym was empty.

I want to see how flexible you are. Let me lift your leg, the Liberation Army woman said in her gentle voice. She raised my right leg over my head in front of me. Very good! Now I’ll support you. Lean over backward as far as you can. That was easy. I bent backward until I could grab my ankles like an acrobat. That’s great! she said, and her braids swung with excitement.

This is Jiang Ji-li. Principal Long leaned forward proudly. She’s been studying martial arts since the second grade. She was on the Municipal Children’s Martial Arts Team. Their demonstration was even filmed.

The Liberation Army woman smiled sweetly. That was very good. Now you may go back to your classroom. She patted me on my head before she turned back to test Tong Chao.

I went back to class, but I could not remember the song we were singing. What did the Liberation Army woman want? Could she want to choose me for something? It was too much to contemplate. I hardly moved when the bell rang to end school. Someone told me that the principal wanted to see me. I walked slowly down the hall, surrounded by my shouting and jostling classmates, seeing only the beautiful soldier, feeling only the electric tingle of her soft touch on my head.

The office door was heavy. I pushed it open cautiously. Some students from the other sixth-grade classes were there already. I recognized Wang Qi, a girl in class two, and one of the boys, You Xiao-fan of class four. I didn’t know the other boy. The three of them sat nervously and respectfully opposite Principal Long. I slipped into a chair next to them.

Principal Long leaned forward from her big desk. I know you must be wondering about the Liberation Army soldier, she said. She sounded cheerful and excited. Why did she come? Why did she want you to do back bends? She looked at us one by one and then took a long sip from her tea mug as if she wanted to keep us guessing, She was Comrade Li from the Central Liberation Army Arts Academy.

I slowly took a deep breath.

She is recruiting students for the dance training class. She selected you four to audition. It’s a great honor for Xin Er Primary School. I’m very proud of all of you, and I know you’ll do your best.

I did not hear the rest of her words. I saw myself in a new Liberation Army uniform, slim and standing straight as a reed, long braids swinging at my waist. A Liberation Army soldier! One of the heroes admired by all, who helped Chairman Mao liberate China from oppression and defeated the Americans in Korea. And a performer, just like my mother used to be, touring the country, the world, to tell everyone about the New China that Chairman Mao had built and how it was becoming stronger and stronger.

I couldn’t help giving Wang Qi a silly smile.

Mom! Dad! Grandma! I panted up the steep, dark stairs, in too much of a hurry to turn on the light, and tripped over some pots stored on the steps. I couldn’t wait to tell them my news. I knew they would all be as excited as I was.

Our apartment was bright and warm and welcoming. Burgundy curtains shut the darkness outside and made the one big room even cozier. In front of the tall French window our square mahogany table was covered with steaming dishes and surrounded by my family, who were laughing and chattering when I rushed in. They all looked up expectantly.

Everybody, guess what! Today a Liberation Army woman came to school and she tested me and she wants me to audition for the Central Liberation Army Arts Academy. Just think! I could be in the Liberation Army! And I could be a performer, too! Isn’t it great? I picked up our cat, Little White, and gave her a big kiss.

It’s lucky I studied martial arts for so long. When the Liberation Army woman saw my back bend, she just loved it. I twirled around on my toes and snapped my heels together in a salute. Comrade Grandma, Jiang Ji-li reporting!

My younger brother, Ji-yong, jumped up from the table and saluted me. My little sister, Ji-yun, started to twirl around as I had done, but she slipped and fell. We jumped to the floor with her and rolled around together.

Ji-li, I heard Dad call. I looked up. Mom and Dad and Grandma were looking at each other solemnly. It might be better not to do the audition. Dad spoke slowly, but his tone was serious, very serious.

What?

Don’t do the audition, Ji-li. He looked straight at me this time, and sounded much more forceful.

Don’t do the audition? Why not?

Dad shook his head.

I grabbed Mom’s arm. Mom, why not?

She squeezed my hand and looked at me worriedly. Your father means that the recruitment requirements are very strict.

Wow. You really scared me, Dad. I laughed with relief. I know that. Principal Long told us it would be very competitive. I know it’s just an audition, but who knows? I might be lucky, right? I picked up a steamed bun and took a bite.

I’m not just talking about talent, Dad said. There are more important requirements, political considerations…

Oh, Dad, that’s no problem. I took another big bite of the bun. I was an Outstanding Student, an Excellent Young Pioneer, and even the da-dui-zhang, the student chairman of the whole school. What more could they want? My mouth was full, so I stretched out my arm to show Dad my da-dui-zhang badge, a plastic tag with three red stripes.

I saw a pain in Dad’s eyes that I had never seen before.

The problem isn’t with you yourself, Ji-li. What I mean is that the political background investigations at these academies are very severe.

Political background investigation? What’s that?

That is an investigation into the class status of your ancestors and all members of your family. He leaned back in his chair, and the lampshade put his face in shadow. Ji-li, the fact is that our family will not be able to pass these investigations, he said slowly. And you will not be allowed to be a member of a Liberation Army performing troupe.

For a long time I did not speak. Why? I whispered at last.

He started to say something but stopped. He leaned forward again, and I could see the sorrow on his face. It’s very complicated, and you wouldn’t understand it now even if I told you. Maybe we should wait until you’re grown up. The point is that I don’t think you’ll be admitted. So just drop it, all right?

I did not say anything. Putting down the half-eaten bun, I walked to the mirror on the big wardrobe that divided the room and pressed my forehead against its cool surface. I could not hold back any longer. I burst out crying.

I want to do it. I want to try. What will I tell Principal Long? And my classmates? I wailed.

Maybe we should let her try. She probably won’t be chosen anyway. Grandma looked at Dad.

Dad stood up, heaving a deep sigh. This is for her own good. Her classmates and teachers will just be surprised if she says that her father won’t let her go. But what if she passes the audition and can’t pass the political background investigation? Then everybody will know that the family has a political problem. Dad’s voice grew louder and louder as he went on.

Ji-yong and Ji-yun were looking up at Dad, wide-eyed. I bit my lip to force myself to stop crying and went to bed without saying another word.

The hallway outside the principal’s office was very quiet. It was noon, and nearly everyone was home for lunch. The big red characters PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE made me nervous. I put my hand on the knob, hesitated, and lowered it. I walked back to the stairs, trembling and covered with sweat.

I rehearsed the words I was going to say one more time. Then I rushed back to the office door and pushed it open.

Principal Long was reading a newspaper. She raised her head and peered through her glasses to see who had interrupted her. Principal Long, here is a note from my father. Hastily I gave her the note, damp with sweat from my palm. I hurried out of the office before she could look at it or ask me any questions. I ran down the hallway, colliding with someone and running blindly on, thinking only that she must be very disappointed.

At one o’clock when the bell finally rang to start class, I heaved a long sigh and walked out of the library. My best friend, An Yi, and our homeroom teacher were standing outside the main building. As soon as they saw me, An Yi shouted, Where have you been? Aren’t you supposed to go to the audition at one? Hurry up! You’re going to be late.

I opened my mouth but couldn’t say a word.

Why, what’s wrong? Teacher Gu asked.

I… I’m not going. I bowed my head and twisted my fingers in my red scarf.

What? Are you crazy? This is the chance of a lifetime!

I did not raise my head. I didn’t want to see An Yi’s face.

Really? Why not? Teacher Gu sounded concerned.

I tried hard not to cry. Father wouldn’t let me….

An Yi was about to say something else, but Teacher Gu cut her off. All right. This is her family’s decision. We won’t talk about it any further. She put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze. Then she went away with An Yi without another word.

Across the yard I saw Principal Long, Wang Qi, and the two boys coming out of the gym. I dodged behind a tree and heard them chatting and laughing as they went by. They were going to the audition. I could have been going with them. My eyes blurred with tears.

I thought of the way Teacher Gu had looked at me. There had been a mixture of disappointment, doubt, and inquiry in her eyes. I was sure that Principal Long must have looked the same way after she read Dad’s note. So must Wang Qi, You Xiao-fan, and all my classmates.

I didn’t want to think any longer. I just wished that I could find a place to hide, so I wouldn’t have to see their faces.

Until that spring I believed that my life and my family were nearly perfect.

My father was a stage actor, six feet tall and slightly stoop shouldered. Because of his height and his serious face he usually played the villain at the children’s theater where he worked. He was the vicious landlord, the foolish king. But at home he was our humorous, kind, and wise Dad. He loved reading, and he loved including the whole family in his discoveries. He demonstrated the exercises of the great acting teacher Stanislavsky, he imitated Charlie Chaplin’s funny walk, and when he was reading about calculus, he explained Zeno’s paradox and the infinite series. We thought Dad knew everything.

Mom had been an actress when she met Dad, and she was still as pretty as an actress. When I was little, she stopped acting and worked in a sports-equipment store. Every evening we eagerly waited for her to come home from work. We rushed out to greet her and opened her handbag, where there was sure to be a treat for us. Mom spoiled us, Grandma said.

Grandma was truly amazing. She had graduated from a modern-style high school in 1914, a time when very few girls went to school at all. After Liberation she had helped to found Xin Er Primary School—my school—and become its vice-principal. She retired from teaching when I was born so that she could take care of me while Mom worked. But whenever we met her old students, now adults, they still bowed respectfully and called her Teacher Cao, which made me so proud.

Ji-yong was eleven, one year younger than me, and Ji-yun was one year younger than Ji-yong. Once Mom told me that she had her three children in three years because she wanted to finish the duty of having babies sooner, so she could devote herself wholeheartedly to the revolution. While I was tall and thin, like Dad, Ji-yong and Ji-yun were shorter and plumper, like Mom. Ji-yong was nicknamed Iron-Ball because he was dark skinned and sturdy. He liked to play in the alley and paid little attention to his studies. Ji-yun had two dimples, which gave her an especially sweet smile. She was easygoing and did not always strive to be the best, as I did. But I had learned that she could be very stubborn.

And then there was Song Po-po. She had originally been our nanny. When we grew up, she stayed and became our housekeeper. As long as I could remember, she had been living in the small room downstairs. She had raised the three of us, and we all felt she was like another grandmother. She was as dear to us as we were to her.

We lived in a big building in one of Shanghai’s nicer neighborhoods. My Fourth Aunt, who had been married to Dad’s half-brother, lived downstairs with her daughter, my cousin You-mei, and You-mei’s daughter, a lovely baby called Hua-hua. My uncle had died in Hong Kong a few years before. You-mei’s husband had a job in another city and was allowed to visit Shanghai only twice a year.

Song Po-po told us our extended family used to occupy two whole buildings, ten rooms all together. Then they all moved away, and only your family and your Fourth Aunt’s family were left. Your family only has one room now. It’s just too bad. She shook her head sadly.

But I didn’t feel that way at all. I loved our top-floor room. A huge French window and a high ceiling made it bright all year round, warmer during the winter and cooler in summer. The kitchen on the landing outside the room was small, but I didn’t mind. Our room was ten times as big as many of my classmates’ homes, and a hundred times brighter. Best of all, we had a private bathroom, a full-size room with a sink, a toilet, and a tub. It was almost as large as some families’ entire

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