Fantasy Man

By Jake Mrkink

Everyday millions of people enter virtual worlds to escape their real life, and to explore their own boundaries. This is the story of Otto, a man in his fifties, who enters Second Life and immerses himself fully in exploring his sexuality - as a woman. Otto might be your husband or brother, he is like so many who venture forth to explore their inner self. This unique novel follows his sexual experiences and his struggle for acceptance as he is, amid the emotional heartbreak of losing the woman he loves. A challenging novel, it immerses you in the virtual world with its chat style dialogue, and fast paced action, as well as provoking the questions you will ask as your concepts of gender and reality are put to the test.
Controversial, provocative, humorous and emotional, this novel highlights the rapidly changing world and the dual existence that is available to us when we enter a virtual world to escape.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jake Mrkink
• Release date: Aug 7, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301377824

Jake Mrkink

I love writing erotica that captures the essence of our real life experiences, and situations - and to explore what drives us, and where we go in our naughty fantasy moments. I also love to explore the crossing over of boundaries, whether they are moral boundaries, or gender boundaries, or as is the case of my novel, Fantasy Man the boundary between virtual life and real life. I hope you enjoy my work.

Book preview

FANTASY MAN

By

Jake Mrkink

Smashwords Edition

* * * * *

Published by Jake Mrkink

at Smashwords

Fantasy Man

Copyright © 2013 by Jake Mrkink

This ebook MAY NOT be distributed through any file sharing mechanism. Any copy of this ebook obtained in such a manner is an illegal copy.

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is a work of fiction. The characters are not real. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

For my other eBooks, please go to the end of this book.

CONTENTS

STARR – TODAY MINUS 1

OTTO – TODAY MINUS 4

FIRST VISIT

STARR AND MARINA

ALONE

ADVERT

KATRINA

SEX

SONJA

WEDDING

FANTASY MAN

STARR – TODAY MINUS 1

Starr sat there on her elevated, wooden meditation deck, overlooking the infinity of her world, watching the soft, yellow sun set – it was her favourite moment of every day. She was so glad it occurred four times a day.

She sighed inwardly, closed her eyes and reflected on her life in Second Life, in her virtual world - a life of so many ups and downs, of swings from blissful happiness to great sadness.

As she tried to rest her troubled mind one of her favourite songs came on over her club’s music system. It soothed her soul to listen to PM Dawn’s Set Adrift on Memory Bliss - so melodic, such poetry in their voices. She breathed in deeply and listened to the vocals, absorbing them, drifting with them. Starr floated, absorbed the Universe into her soul.

Starr often sought answers on her meditation deck; she was often lonely, solitaire. The view was amazing and yet nobody who came to her club ever seemed to venture out there to the observation deck, she didn’t know why they didn’t find this spot, it was so perfect for solitude, for reflection – people were strange.

She smiled to herself… yes, people were strange… she never seemed to understand them. It was like she was a loner set adrift on the sea of humankind; she was so different, not like the others.

In her reflective, self-absorbed mood, Starr took a moment to look back at herself. She moved her viewpoint out from her eyes and stopped a few metres away and looked back at her body, at her face.

She was a very attractive woman, even by Second Life standards. Refined features, lovely skin, and her blonde hair set off a look of complete feminine confidence. She looked dignified, and sensual.

Yet within that façade of confidence lurked many doubts, and many disappointments. Sure, Starr was an attractive, intelligent and fun loving woman in this life. But in her real life, she was a man, and that was a secret to those she encountered in her Second Life, it was a secret to all those who knew her in every world. That secret meant it was complicated having relationships, it meant she always started out with a lie, and she wasn’t comfortable with it.

She wanted that to change, she felt that need deep down.

She knew that during sex in Second Life, the lover would view Starr as a woman and that was ok because it satisfied her own desire to be a female, to be feminine in this fantasy world. But deep down there was also a hunger for the lover to know that Starr was a man, and to accept that part of her confused sexuality, a sexuality that there did not even appear to be a label for, in an era of gender labels.

As Starr sat there, the music stream changed and started to play Gerry and the Pacemakers Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying.

She listened to the words, she felt her loneliness intensify.

A little tear eked its way out of the corner of an eye, and ran down her face, across her cheek and dripped off her chin. The tear fell, and fell, falling the thousands of metres below, through the void of the fantasy world –and at some point would turn to nothing as it was lost in the maelstrom of bits and bytes in cyberspace.

Starr hung her head in dismay, and cried…thankfully the sun had now set, it wouldn’t catch her crying. She sobbed softly, privately, as the music continued, but she knew this could not go on – she knew that in her heart. She couldn’t survive with this hopeless internal confusion and dissatisfaction.

Finally she looked up, tearily, she looked at the stars starting to appear in the evening sky, and she resolved to make peace with her virtual existence.

Starr, in her real life, was an author - she wrote and published eBooks when she was not at her normal, regular employment. She was a creative type who always looked for solutions, on this occasion a thought slowly occurred to Starr.

She stood up, pulled herself together and started to pace up and down the deck, putting her seed of an idea into some kind of structure. She was like that. She would get an idea and act on it, decisively, efficiently. Of course, sometimes her clever ideas turned to shit, but so what…. that was life. Life was often shit, it sucked.

Starr resolved that she would no longer hide her reality.

She resolved to advertise and look for an avatar who was a female in Second Life as well as a female in real life. She knew that with her author’s hat on this would be interesting as it would give her a fascinating experience and hopefully some interesting insights. What she especially wanted was the other woman’s viewpoint, how the other person thought, knowing Starr was a man behind the avatar. She craved the truth of those feelings – she hoped that through this scheme of hers she would be able to get those honest feelings expressed, to capture them for her stories.

She knew it would also give her the chance to have a relationship with someone in Second Life on completely honest terms – the other person would know that Starr was a man in real life from the very outset.

Starr smiled at the world; it had taken a better turn, she was ecstatic, her mood changing completely through having a plan of action. It was so typical of her nature, of her personality, she always wanted to smile, she wanted to be happy, she didn’t enjoy sadness.

Amazingly, the music changed and began to play Ace of Base’s Life is a Flower. For Starr, indeed it was.

She walked around her club and headed for the small forest of tropical palms she had in one corner of her elevated island, her love island in the sky. She loved this spot; it rained here, just amongst the palms. She listened to the happy music, she twirled and danced by herself, the world was indeed smiling with her. The rain fell on her, she threw off her clothes and let it fall on her virtual female flesh, thunder sounded in the air above and she whistled down the wind. She picked a flower, feigned to smell it and strode off content that she had her solution.

She looked around at her empty club and shrugged, she was happy - she didn’t need patrons to upset her now with their single minded bitchiness and whining.

Starr danced away, naked as the rain fell on her body, her smile beamed, her arms outstretched as she twirled and swirled around. She felt free, free from the burden of unhappiness. She loved taking action, it was so liberating.

Starr returned to her meditation platform, as the music changed to Black’s Wonderful Life.

Starr lifted her arms to the now starlit heavens, the moonlight highlighting her stunningly attractive features, her female shape silhouetted against the light. She took a breath, closed her eyes and drank in the music, the beat washing over her soul, refreshing her.

She considered how so often it was indeed a wonderful life here in her Second Life. She meditated calmly as the music played away its hypnotic tune, her eyes closed, her palms facing upwards. She looked serene, dignified and in control. She felt at one with the Universe as she drew it in and let it flow through her body, through her very existence. She welcomed it, she had nothing to hide, and she had a wonderful life.

A few minutes later, she opened her eyes - yes, she needed a friend who would make her happy, and so she didn’t stand here on her own. She didn’t want to be on her own again. She didn’t want to run or hide, or cry again.

She had changed to a completely positive mood; she stood, confronted the world, and looked out over the void before her from her lofty perch. With hands on her hips she was resolved to take on the world. She stood there, naked, her stunning body glistening from the moisture of the rain drops; she looked in control of her destiny. She wanted the world to look at her standing; she was ready to take it on.

Starr prepared to log out, she had an advert to write and place in the Second Life forums.

Starr looked around herself, confident now, purposeful, and yet alone.

She took a deep breath and reflected for a moment how it had all gotten to this stage, how she had ever come to be in this place, and live this wonderful life.

She sat down again, gazing inwardly, and remembered how, by complete accident, she had ever heard of this place, an accident that had brought her to this wonderful life, this extraordinary virtual world of hope, of promise.

As Starr recalled her birth, her beginning in this virtual world, her alter ego reached for another glass of white wine in his world. Both of them listened to Tanita Tikaram’s Twist in My Sobriety.

It had been a long journey, over many years, a journey she could never regret even though it had brought some pain and frustrations - a journey that had started three years earlier.

She soaked up the haunting music and then it was time for her to take action.

She stood up, it was off to work on her new, exciting scheme!

Starr and Otto were poised with their plan of action.

But like most great ideas, things don’t always work out so perfectly, or as planned.

OTTO – TODAY MINUS 4

Otto had just turned 54 years of age - yet rather than taking up conventional methods of recreation as he wound down to retirement, he had recently begun the most exciting adventure of his life.

Otto was not the usual sort of guy for his age; he was creative, imaginative and always looking for opportunity - his mind never seemed to slow down even though his body was now old and worn out. He was now in the last few years of his working career, he plodded along in a quiet and uneventful marriage to Carla, his children were grown up and had left home and he was meant to be a dull, boring man doing nothing more exciting than playing golf on the weekend.

It didn’t appeal to Otto. He knew there needed to be more to life. And there was…

Otto had overheard a conversation between a few people at his work; they were discussing some new game they were playing on the internet. Otto was not interested in online games; he found them to be quite mindless. He didn’t see the point in shooting other people all day in a virtual environment.

But there was something about this conversation that attracted his attention, and then a woman who had been listening jumped in and explained that it was not a game at all, that Second Life, as it was called, was a world. She explained to the others that there were virtually no rules, there were no goals, no prizes to win, and no levels – there was nothing competitive about it at all. She described that it was a world, where everything you saw had been created by the people in the world.

At this point, some of the young men in the conversation declared that it was obviously boring and pointless and started to talk about some new shoot ‘em up game they had come across.

The woman, Marina, shrugged, looked at Otto and said, Young people!

Otto smiled at her and walked over and sat next to the woman. He was very curious.

I couldn’t help overhear your conversation, Marina, can you tell me more about this Second Life?

Marina was in her mid- thirties, she was surprised that Otto was interested, and she hadn’t even told him about the sex part, yet.

Well, Otto, I think it is the most amazing place in the world, it is the perfect fantasy world where you can live out your dreams. You can be anything you want. You can be a man, or a woman, you can be beautiful, and perfect, you can build your house, or a palace, you can dance the night away in somebodies arms, or you can make love. You can live out every fantasy you have, safely. I think it is heaven.

Otto was stunned. Marina was normally a calm and level headed woman yet here she was extolling the virtues of some fantasy world with online sex included. He was intrigued by this younger woman.

So, how do you get into this Second Life, Marina? Does it cost money, is it hard, what can you do, it sounds interesting? She smiled at Otto.

"Well, there is a website where you have to go to create an account, you can make a free account, but when you get used to it, you will probably want a premium account because it has many advantages. And you have to download the software so you can run Second Life on your computer. But be patient, it is a very difficult learning curve and many people give up easily, and I think the people who survive in Second Life are those who have an imagination. A lot of people, like these guys, expect there should be some competition, but Second Life is like