Arcanum II

By M.C. Moulton

Chosen for a clandestine mission into the heart of enemy territory, and plagued by horrific nightmares of his bloody fate, Arc Arcanum has a lot to contend with at the moment. As if that weren't bad enough he's got an immature runaway prince to babysit, a hot-tempered beauty to keep in check, and a doe-eyed android he needs to bring back in one piece. From goblins to zombies, wild-west shootouts to brothels, it's going to take everything he's got to bring himself and his friends back alive.

• Language: English
• Publisher: M.C. Moulton
• Release date: Jul 7, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301338764

M.C. Moulton

M. C. Moulton is currently living in Kansas and trying desperately not to be swept away by a tornado to a magical land of munchkins. In his off time he’s lazily at work on the Arcanum sequels or playing way too many video games. Oh yeah and he’s awesome.

Book preview

To my wife Wendy and Da Bear, for keeping the heart and soul of Arcanum alive.

by

M.C. Moulton

Arcanum II

Book II in the Arcanum Series

www.arcanumbook.com

Copyright 2013 © M. C. Moulton

All Rights Reserved

Cover Illustration by Huan Lim

This is a work of fiction. All characters, events, organizations and products depicted herein are either a product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Prince claims no liability for injuries or damaged incurred by his breaking of the fourth wall.

No part of this book may be reproduced or redistributed in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. If you purchased this book without a cover it most likely means it’s a bunch of pieces of paper glued together, but let’s be honest here, who’s going to buy a book without a cover? It’d be flimsy as hell. Plus, I mean, have you seen it? It’s awesome.

First Smashwords Edition: April 2013

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: In Which We Learn of the City of Herod and the Crap That Happens There All the Time

Chapter 2: On His Majesty’s Secret Service

Chapter 3: They Took Our Jörmungandrs!

Chapter 4: Does Anyone Have Change For A Fistful of Dollars?

Chapter 1.21

Chapter 6: Rose’s Very Merry Unbirthday

Chapter 7: Made With 100% Real Marmalade

Chapter 8: Fawkes You and the Bird You Rode In On

Chapter 9: They’re Coming To Get You Barbara

Chapter 10: Free Fallin’

Chapter 11: A Pair of Blue Eyes Kind of Ending

A Personal Message From Prince Alrick Blake

Well good morning there traveler. I hope you had a pleasant night’s sleep. You didn’t? Rats you say? No, I assure you there are absolutely no rats at this inn. Mice, on the other hand, we probably do have. I’m not sure really…no one’s gone up there since we started hearing noises a few weeks back. Scared? Hell yes I’m scared of mice. Those things have diseases. Ever heard of a little thing called the bubonic plague? I don’t know about you, but the ‘dying of plague’ look just isn’t my style. Oh, so now I’m being ridiculous? What you call ridiculous I call being not dead. Breakfast? We don’t serve a continental breakfast here. No hospitality you say? Leave the light on for ya? The electric bill would be outrageous! Now who’s being ridiculous? Anyway, how about a story and a cup of coffee instead? Doesn’t that sound good? Fresh java! Er, slightly fresh java anyhow. Fine! Lukewarm java! I meant ice coffee! Good ole’ cold—er—ice coffee! And you’ll have to pay for it of course. Now as for that story…oh, I got it! Here’s my story, it’s sad but true. It’s about a girl that I once knew. She took my love and ran around…oh, you’ve heard this one before? From someone else? Man, she must REALLY get around. I guess she’s got a reputation to uphold, huh? Oh well, I have other stories. What? Continue with the one from last night? I was hoping maybe you’d have forgotten about it or something. Fine, but just so you know, I do accept tips…and by ‘accept’ I mean ‘demand.’

Chapter 1: In Which We Learn of the City of Herod and the Crap That Happens There All the Time

Arc blinked.

Ow.

Stop blinking! Princess Brooke demanded.

But it got in my eye and it really stings!

Mascara tends to do that. It especially tends to do that when you keep fidgeting and I can’t apply it properly!

Arc squeezed his hands into tight fists and fought the pain. He was thoroughly regretting allowing Brooke and Rose to use him as their personal doll. Boredom will do that to a person.

I think we should give him cute little pigtails. His hair is just long enough for it, Rose said from her position on the bed directly behind him. She put the comb she had been using into her mouth and started spritzing his head with a tiny spray bottle.

I have little bows you can put in them! Brooke replied gleefully.

Don’t I get a say in this? Arc asked nervously.

NO! Both girls shouted together. They laughed and continued with the cosmetic torture.

There was a gentle knock on the door of Brooke’s room. The petite princess frowned and set her makeup kit down on the lush carpet before rising from the floor and slowly trudging over to the large double doors, opening them with an indignant sigh. She tilted her head and placed her hands on her hips at the sight of her mother. I told you we’re busy in here Mom! she fussed.

Oh, hush dear, her mother instructed in a very sweet and loving tone. You have all day to play.

Arc instantly sat up a little straighter and smiled at the woman’s arrival. Prince’s mother, Queen Demeter, was not only stunningly beautiful, but also the kindest woman he had ever met. He absolutely adored her. Sometimes when they were together in the city or even just eating in the castle he would pretend she was his mother too. It was crazy, sure, but it made him happy to think he had some sort of family left—not that he’d given up hope on finding his father. The best part about it was that she loved him too, or at least he was pretty sure she did.

Your Highness, he said, bowing his head respectfully. He knew it wasn’t necessary, but he liked to be polite.

Oh, Arc! Demeter exclaimed with a smile. She crossed the room and knelt down in front of him. She gave his cheek a quick squeeze. You’re so cute with the formalities. I told you to call me by my name. I was— She looked down at the foundation that had rubbed off on her fingers. What are these girls doing to you? Poor boy. Girls, you’ll make him feel less of a man.

Demeter pulled Arc to her overly ample chest and smothered him in a hug. Her long banana yellow hair caressed and tickled his cheek. He smiled at her warm embrace as he breathed in the sweet aroma of her lilac scented perfume.

Mom! Stop doing that! You’ll kill him! Anyway who cares if we put some makeup on him? It’s not like he’s a real man like my Sigurd! Brooke said dreamily. She swayed back and forth, clasping her hands together under her chin, picturing her wedding to the Human Liberation Front’s stoic and muscular Commander.

Are you still on about that dear? Demeter asked as she released Arc. She stood and straightened her azure gown. He’s much too old for you.

He is not!

I’m a man… Arc said defensively under his breath. Rose, being the only one who could hear him, reached down and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

"Anyway, I just came up here to let you know that Al—er—excuse me, Prince, has asked to see you two in the dining hall, Demeter informed them. I know he’s been awfully busy lately, what with his father being bedridden and all, but he seemed really excited this morning to see the both of you. I think he has a surprise. She turned and stroked Brooke’s hair. You come down too sweetie. I’m making lunch today."

Yes Mother… Brooke grumbled. When the door shut behind her mother she let out a sigh and let her shoulders sag. Just great. Now I have to eat corn flakes for lunch. A princess shouldn’t be eating corn flakes. I have refined tastes.

How do you know she’s making cereal? Rose asked.

Because Mom always makes cereal. It’s like the only thing she knows how to make. One time, when one of the cooks was on leave for a week, she gave the entire kitchen staff the week off and made nothing but cereal. It was horrible. I’ll say one thing, after a whole week, they aren’t GREEEEAT!

Hey Rose, it looks like we found a worse cook than you, Arc teased.

Rose walloped him with the spray bottle.

***

Arc descended the spiral staircase from the second floor to the dining hall with Rose close in tow. It had taken him nearly a month of wandering, getting lost, and having servants guide him around, but he had finally memorized his way around the vast castle. He couldn’t for the life of him think of a single reason why the rooms had to be so needlessly large, even if you were royalty.

Below, Prince was talking animatedly to his mother. When he caught sight of his friends coming down the stairs he immediately ran to greet them, leaving his mother talking to herself.

Have I got a surprise for— Prince immediately cut his sentence short upon seeing Arc’s face. He shook his head. Dude, dude, dude, what are you doing!? That’s not how ya guy-line! Look at you, y-you’ve got it everywhere! I know some girls are into that buddy but you have to show some restraint. Take it from one guy-liner to another; less is more.

Okay, first of all, this isn’t my doing, Arc said, indicating his face with a twirl of his finger. You can blame Rose and your sister for this. Secondly, I’m gonna pretend we didn’t just have a conversation about guy-liner, because it’s early and I don’t do weird until after lunch.

Weren’t you always the early riser who was all up and at ‘em?

Yeah, we used to have a training regiment that required us to be on a schedule. Now, with nothing to do, noon is starting to seem early. Arc buried his face into his palm. Dear God, I’m turning into you.

You say that like it wouldn’t be totally awesome to be me.

Glad to see you in better spirits today Prince, Rose said. She smiled and clasped her hands behind her back.

I take it day by day. Having you here really helps Rose…

There was an awkward silence you could have drowned in.

Blegh! Brooke retched from the top of the staircase. She bounded down the steps to join them. You are so lame bro.

A wild brat appears! Prince exclaimed. He quickly reached out and wrapped his arm around Brooke’s head. Prince uses chokehold! It’s super-effective!

Oh, stop it you two! Demeter demanded from her seat at the overly long dining table she had been eavesdropping from. I told you, no killing each other until you’re fighting over the throne.

Mom your jokes are even lamer than Al’s, Brooke said snidely, slamming herself into the chair beside her mother.

Hush, and leave your brother alone. Demeter looked at Prince. Alrick dear—

It’s Prince, Mom! How many times do I have to remind you of that now? Prince demanded.

"Oh, well I’m sorry that your mother can’t get it through her head to call you by some silly nickname instead of the name she lovingly gave to you after she gave you life, Demeter replied dryly. It was all too clear to everyone where Prince’s snarky personality came from. Now, as I was saying, don’t listen to your sister. She hates all the girls that you bring to the castle. She reached over and covered Brooke’s ears with her hands. She’s probably a little jealous that her big brother won’t spend more time with her, and you would do well to spend a little more time with your sister instead of gallivanting around like you do."

Mom! Brooke groaned, swatting her mother’s hands away. I’m not three anymore. I can hear you when you do that! And I don’t want to spend more time with him! He’s lame.

Well at any rate I’m quite fond of Lady Rose. She’s so much kinder and more respectable than some of those floozies you’ve brought around.

MOM! Prince exclaimed in wide-eyed horror. He wanted to curl up and die from embarrassment. Arc and Rose bit their lips to keep from giggling. Arc regretted doing so immediately as he got a mouthful of lip gloss.

I’m only speaking the truth dear. What about that Jeanie girl for example? She seemed like a real harlot to me.

That wasn’t Jeanie Mom! That was Larentia! And for the last time I didn’t know she had a reputation alright!

That was a tiny fib. He definitely knew about her reputation.

Which one was Jeanie then?

Jeanie was the one with the light brown hair! Ergh! God! It’s like you don’t even listen to me! This is why I ran away!

Don’t think I don’t know what this attitude is all about young man. I know you’re upset about that Nina girl dear, but you can’t let it ruin your life and it’s no reason to get upset at your mother. Now, I’m going to go make you all something wonderful to eat. Demeter rose from her chair and walked over to her son. She kissed him gently on the forehead. I’m done embarrassing you, you may continue with your friends. I’ll be back shortly.

Arc watched Demeter as she walked away. He was a little envious of the attention Prince got from her. He would have done just about anything to be kissed lovingly by his mother. It wasn’t fair in the slightest. Prince had everything: looks, money, and power. Every girl they met seemed incessantly crazy about him and to top it all off he had a loving family.

And what did he have? A shattered past, no family, no money, and no girlfriend. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all. All he had was a marble. Granted, it turned into an almighty weapon capable of slicing through solid matter, but in the end it was still a marble, and marbles don’t keep you warm at night. It was also pink, and that was important, because nothing was manlier than pink.

This pent up jealousy caused him to be very uncomfortable in the castle. Not that being treated like royalty wasn’t sublime, but deep down he knew none of it was his. Eventually he would have to return to the cold embrace of the military alone. He wasn’t of a high enough rank to fight alongside the doe-eyed Valkyrie that haunted his every waking thought. Prince had a country to run and Rose would undoubtedly end up ruling it beside him one day.

That left Arc alone. He would probably die on some forgotten battlefield, killed by an indiscriminate winger, and no one would even be there to bury him. It suddenly occurred to him, as he lost sight of Demeter, that he had been very depressed as of late. He had never imagined anyone staying in a castle could possibly be depressed, but there he stood, a shining example. He wasn’t about to demand pity though; he would do his best to hide his depression from everyone else. There was no need to burden anyone else with his woes, especially Prince, who was still grieving over the loss of the late pirate princess Nina Teach.

Dude! Prince snapped.

WHAT!? Are shouted, scared out of his thoughts and back to the present.

Dude! Were you checkin’ out my Mom?

Oh…what, n-no I didn’t mean to stare I was just—

Not cool dude!

I-I’m sorry. I promise I was just—

I’m just kiddin’ man, chillax. Besides, it’s totally cool even if you were. Kings can get pretty much any woman they want so of course she’s going to be beautiful. It’s not like I don’t know my mom is hot. Prince took a moment to think over what had just exited his mouth. That sounded really weird. Let’s pretend I didn’t say that.

Wow…I think you just graduated from tool to royal tool, Rose scoffed.

There’s that sarcasm I love oh so much. I was beginning to miss it. And how are you Rose?

You make it sound like your father only married your mother for her looks. What about her personality or intelligence? Or does none of that factor in?

My mom is awesome thank you very much. She just happens to be beautiful to boot. Not to mention that you’re one to talk Ms. Arquette. Don’t you spend an inordinate amount of time doing yourself up? If personality is so important why do you spend so much extra time making yourself look beautiful? Not that you would need to spend any extra time.

I take great pride in looking my best. Just because I like being beautiful doesn’t mean I don’t want to be appreciated for my personality too.

You might wanna stick to being appreciated for your looks.

WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

STOP IT YOU TWO! Arc shouted, stepping between them. Listen to me. We’re all just a little on edge because we’ve barely seen each other and we’ve all had a lot to deal with. It’s no one’s fault, so let’s not ruin the time we have together by fighting. He turned to face Rose. Rose, you’re beautiful. You’re the most beautiful girl in this castle. You’re the most beautiful girl in this city, heck probably in the world. It’s hard not to appreciate you for your looks. I know you have a wonderful personality. Prince knows how wonderful you are too but he’s had a lot on his plate lately so please cut him some slack. Arc turned toward Prince. Prince, I know how much responsibility you’ve been burdened with lately. We’ve hardly seen you in a month. I know how hard losing Nina was on you too, but remember we’re both here for you. I think you were a little out of line.

I’m sorry, Prince said with a sigh. You’re right. Rose I’m really sorry. I do think you’re wonderful.

Oh…I-I’m sorry too, Rose said timidly.

Maybe this will make it better. I have a surprise for the two of you. I, in all my royal capacity, managed to secure these. Prince pulled four tickets from the inside of his shirt pocket. He fanned them out like a deck of cards. "Four tickets to tonight’s grand reopening of the Sphere Theatre where they’ll be performing Wagglelance’s epic tragedy, Roliet & Jumeo."

Rose’s eyes went wide as she snatched the tickets from his hand. She examined them closely with childlike wonderment.

Managed to secure? Don’t they give you those for free? Arc asked.

You say free in the mail and I say desperate struggle for highly sought after tickets. Tomato, tomahto.

Wait, four tickets? Does this mean that Celeste is coming too!? Arc wished he hadn’t sounded so overly enthusiastic about the idea of the Valkyrie coming. It was a little embarrassing.

Sorry buddy, but unfortunately no. They’re doing some serious R&D at the Academy. Tell ya what, I promise we’ll go see her tomorrow. I’ll take you both down there myself. Prince looked over at Rose, who was stroking the tickets with her finger and grinning a little madly. Is she okay?

Okay? OKAY!? I’M GREAT! Rose shouted gleefully. "I love the theatre! Not only that, but this is my all-time favorite play. I am so excited! Oh my God thank you! Thank you!" She flung her arms around Prince’s neck and squeezed him tightly.

And of course we’ll be in the royal box.

You can’t go to the theatre! Brooke stated defiantly from the table. Sissy Rose promised to take me shopping today!

Too bad, brat!

It’s barely even noon yet, Rose reminded them as she released Prince. We’ll have plenty of time to do both. I need to get a new dress anyway if we’re going to the theatre. A quick flash of disappointment filled her face as she remembered that a new dress would require money, of which she had none. Then, knowing exactly how to remedy the problem, her dour face turned to a look of beautiful despair, filled with fluttering eyelashes and despaired sighs. Woe is me, for I have little coin to spare.

Here. Prince removed his signet ring and tossed it to her. She caught it and looked it over, her lips cracking into a grin. Just show them that and they’ll bill the castle.

Last time you let a girl borrow that ring she bought up half of Market Row, Brooke reminded him. And Mom told you not to do that anymore.

This is different!

Brooke was about to insult her brother but stopped short at the reappearance of her mother. Demeter strolled in carrying a large tray with multiple bowls piled onto it. She smiled genteelly and set the tray down on the table. Who wants cereal? she asked, as if it were some highly sought after delicacy.

It’s lunchtime Mom, Prince reminded her. You don’t eat cereal for lunch.

Grains are good for you anytime.

Whatever. Prince turned back to his friends. Anyway, we’ll all go down by carriage at seven-thirty to the theatre. I suppose you can come too if you want, brat.

What are you all talking about dear? Demeter asked.

I’m taking Arc and Rose to the reopening of the Sphere tonight.

Not tonight you’re not.

Uh… Prince looked around comically. Did I miss something? Why not exactly?

The Heads of State meeting is tonight. You’ll be standing-in in your father’s place, remember? It was scheduled immediately after the attack. You’ve known about this for a month dear. You’ve always been terrible with dates and times.

What! Please tell me you’re kidding me!

All the kings, queens, and presidents who are part of the Human Liberation Front will be here. King Pram himself is coming from Troia and I’m not going to tell him that the hosting nation isn’t in attendance because its acting king had to go on a date.

Oh, no, it’s not a date, Rose said without missing a beat. We’re all going as friends.

Why can’t Dad do this!? Prince demanded. It’s kind of like his job.

You know how ill he is! Demeter snapped, her tone suddenly becoming very serious. You’ve been doing a standup job so far and I just know you’ll do great tonight. She sighed and tilted her head. If it’s any consolation your friends are more than welcome to sit in and observe.

This is ridiculous! I’ve been doing all of Dad’s work since I came back!

And I did it all while you were gone. You’re going to rule this country one day and it couldn’t hurt to get some practice in.

Yeah, if we’re not all dead first, Prince said under his breath.

You are going to that meeting Alrick and that is final. With the winged moving so far north it’s imperative that every human nation is coordinating their efforts. We’re still recovering from the attack and we could use all the assistance we can get. So you will go to that meeting, smile, and do your damndest to make sure everything goes smoothly. Here, your father wanted me to give you this.

Demeter held out a small folded piece of parchment to her son. Prince took it from her palm and unfolded it with a sigh.

We are thinking you’ll do great…

He crumpled up the note and tossed it across the room before turning dejectedly toward his friends. I guess I’m not going. You two have fun without me.

Are you sure? Rose asked only to be courteous, hoping he wouldn’t say no. She bit her lower lip at the thought of not attending the theatre she loved so dearly, especially after so long an absence. It was unbearable.

Yeah, I’m sure. The meeting will probably outlast the show so come find me when it’s done.

We will, said Arc. I’m really sorry you can’t go.

It’s all good. This way all the ladies can feast their eyes upon me instead of the stage. Maybe a few will even stick around after for an autograph or…well…ya know. Prince clicked his tongue and nudged Arc in the ribs with his elbow.

No, what would that be exactly my loving brother? Brooke asked with mock innocence. She grinned devilishly when Demeter turned to glare at her son.

Er—uh…pictures Mom. I meant pictures.

Demeter narrowed her glare even more.

My girlfriend died Mommy!

Oh my poor baby, Demeter lamented. She quickly walked to her son and embraced him tightly. I know, I know. It’ll be okay. Shh, hush now.

Prince stuck his tongue out so that only Brooke could see.

But you’re still going to the meeting tonight, Demeter added.

Dammit! Prince groaned.

***

There was only one thing about spending time with Rose that Arc detested; everyone stared. She just commanded attention that way. It wasn’t just men either: women, children, guards, servants; everyone stopped to gaze at the fiery haired beauty. Arc thought it was bad when she was surrounded by teenage boys, but that had been nothing compared to the looks she received in a major city. A few of the more forward boys even approached her, but quickly fled when she glared and shot down their advances. Arc giggled to himself every time. If the prince himself was having trouble with her then those guys didn’t stand a chance.

Brooke wasn’t enjoying the walk from the castle to Market Row either. She had donned a rather strange brunette wig to hide her illustrious waves of golden curls. It swayed awkwardly when she walked, bouncing around like a hat that was two sizes too big. She clenched her fists angrily and darted behind Arc to hide from sight every time someone stopped to admire Rose.

Market Row was the liveliest place Arc had ever been to. It was impossible to walk ten feet without running into a stall, store, boutique, deli, apothecary, or grocery store. It was so crowded at points he had to push through people to make a path for Brooke and Rose. The added carpenters, masons, and woodworkers who were busy in Herod’s reconstruction efforts didn’t help the situation either.

This place is awesome! Arc marveled. I’ve never seen so many people in one place before!

I know! It’s terrible isn’t it!? Brooke cried, dodging past the umpteenth person in a row. She tugged on her wig and grunted, upset that people weren’t clearing the way for her.

Why are you wearing that thing again? Arc reached over and ran his fingers through the straight fake strands of hair.

I told you! Brooke lowered her voice to an elevated whisper. It’s dangerous for us to just go out in public. Who knows what kind of crazies are out here? Plus, sometimes I just like being treated like a normal girl. So while we’re out you will refer to me as Anna Nevada. Understand?

How about I call you creek? Ya know, ‘cuz it’s sort of like a brook?

What part of Anna Nevada don’t you understand? Brooke demanded. She turned and pulled open the door of a nearby antique toy store. As she stepped inside she looked back at Arc. And that wasn’t funny. Who wants to be called creek? Don’t be stupid.

I thought it was kinda funny. Clever maybe? Arc looked to Rose for reassurance.

It was a little funny, she offered with a weak half smile.

The toy store smelled heavily of must and plastic. Children ran through the aisles of toys, screaming and giggling. Brooke traipsed off toward the back of the store and left Arc and Rose to fend for themselves.

Arc wandered to a small bin of clearance items and began riffling through them. He pulled a large package of red balloons from the lot of toys and examined it. The label read: 99 count. He held them up for Rose to see.

It would probably be a REALLY bad idea to buy these, right? he asked.

Rose’s left eyebrow shot up in its typical fashion. She nodded slowly.

Arc dropped them back into the bin and began absentmindedly digging through it again.

Thanks for coming along, Rose said in a low voice, watching for Brooke’s return. You didn’t have to.

No prob. What else did I have to do?

Yeah, true. I don’t know how much more ‘Sissy Rose’ can take. She’s a handful.

Reminds me of someone else I know.

I will hit you in the face.

Sorry.

Hey I didn’t get a chance to say anything earlier, but I’m really sorry Celeste isn’t coming. I know how you…ya know.

Arc pulled a plush pink bear from the bin and squeezed it. It was in serious need of more stuffing. I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not like she’s human…she’s not even real. Plus it’s been at least a month since we’ve seen her and I—

Would you stop it Arc? Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not going to judge you. Besides, you know as well as I do she’s real. Hey I have an idea! Why don’t you get her something for tomorrow? Something really nice…and shiny.

Arc stared at her blankly.

I’ll even pick it out for you, Rose added, sensing the despair on his face at the prospect of shopping for a girl.

‘Kay.

Arc placed the bear back into the