Life of Heidi

By Derek Paterson

Heidi is a Canadian-born Border Collie cross who has a rough start to life. Her first owners neglected and beat her before giving her back for adoption again. She then found a welcoming family of Kiwis who loved and looked after her.
She went for runs in the woods, summer and winter, and learned the hard way to avoid skunks and porcupines. She also got to chase rabbits and deer. A good Canadian dog, she especially loved the snow and would play and bury herself in it for hours.
Soon she moved to New Zealand, discovered the sea and spent more time chasing rabbits. Then it was on to Chile where she had to learn another language while she learned to cope with earthquakes and spiders. She also got to spend a lot of time at high altitude in the Andes.
Now she has earned a sleepy retirement back in New Zealand where she is more inclined to chase rabbits in her sleep than in reality. It has also given her ample time to dictate her memoir.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Derek Paterson
• Release date: Jul 2, 2013
• ISBN: 9780473248109

Derek Paterson

Derek Paterson has a background in journalism and publishing. He has worked on newspapers, radio and television. He has founded his own magazine, published and edited several books, freelanced internationally as a writer and photographer, taught English as a second language and was part of the film crew that shot the world’s first open sea, underwater footage of Orca (Killer Whales).He has travelled widely and lived in North and South America, Europe and Asia and, of course, Australia and New Zealand.Fine art photography, principally panoramic landscapes, is another passion and his works are hanging in homes and collections in Europe, North and South America, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. His photographs have also been bought by the New Zealand Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade for hanging in missions around the world.

Book preview

Life of Heidi

A Bidography

by

Derek Paterson

Published by Derek Paterson/Pinaka

Smashwords Edition

Cover design Bo Paterson

Cover photograph Derek Paterson

Copyright 2013 Derek Paterson

ISBN: 978-0-473-24810-9

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Chapter 1

The First Year

Finding good servants can be hard. I may have been luckier than some but it still wasn’t straight forward.

It’s a bit hard to talk about the first few months as I left Mother and my five brothers and sisters too young to really get to know them. We were born in Ottawa, that’s in Canada, and we were all in FOAP, which my Humans tell me means Friends of Abandoned Pets but that has never made sense to me. In the beginning, it went very well with my first Humans and I was training them nicely. There were two of them and the long haired one was easiest. She (I’m sure it was a she but sometimes the coverings Humans put on and keep changing make it difficult to tell, at least it did when I was growing up. I did learn to tell the difference, though.) gave me nice tidbits, tickled me and put me in warm, soft, comfy places to nap. The other one got grumpy, though, and started taking away the cushions and shoes and things I needed to chew on. And then he started hitting me, with a rolled up magazine or newspaper at first but a few times with a big stick.

Then the first snows came and that was a wonderful sight. I still remember standing at the window watching as those big white fluffy flakes fell out of the sky and started building up on the furniture out on the deck and on the ground beyond that. It took me ages to get her to open the door and let me out there so I could bite and snap at the falling flakes and bury my head where there were little piles. When it was deep enough I was able to roll over and over and over until it was sticking in my fur. Then I would stand up and shake and it all just flew away. I still find it strange that Humans have to layer themselves whenever they go outside. Anyway, my first Human eventually managed to cover herself up properly and she came out with me. To be honest, she wasn’t really very clever. Training took ages, much longer than I thought would have been necessary, but in the end she managed to make the snow into balls and finally – finally! – I was able to get her to throw them just right for me to jump and catch before they hit the ground again and buried themselves in the snow. Really, it wasn’t that hard but for some reason she was a slow learner.

And despite all those layers she got cold. She started shaking her front paws and then said we had to go in. Go in? Why? I was where I wanted to be, we were having a great game, even if, as I said, she was a slow learner, but eventually I managed to get her to go inside without me so I could run around jumping and catching and sometimes making big holes where I landed.

It started to get dark and he came home. At least I heard his car and I learned later how the lights of his car cut across and lit up the falling snow just so. But did he come outside to play like he was supposed to? Not a chance, although I did see his shape at the window but with the light behind him I couldn’t see is face. The temperature had dropped a lot more and I was starting to get cold, too. I went up to the door and he just ignored me, he just looked at me, pointed and laughed. Ooh, I was cross but I wasn’t going to say anything. I just sat there and looked at him, snow falling all around me. Then he got up and walked away. He walked away! He didn’t open the door like he should have. That made me really cross and I told him so, just that one quick bark. And he didn’t even look back. I barked again and this time she wandered over – wandered! What was wrong with her? – opened the door and I ambled in – I’d show them – and shook myself so all the new snow which had covered me while I was waiting for them to do their duty went flying off.

And that’s when she hit me for the first time, too, with the wooden spoon she had in her hand (she’d been in the kitchen cooking his dinner, I realised later. Not that it made any difference). I wasn’t having any of that so I went and squeezed myself into a wee space behind one of the long chairs and on top of a warm air vent. I was warm and dry in no time and even though the spoon didn’t hurt I was still smarting and I could feel where it hit me.

A little bit later, obviously in a bid by her to make amends, I allowed myself to be enticed out for some little meaty tidbits.

That’s the best part of being a Canadian dog, I guess (apart from having to grow up trilingual – Dog, English and French) - there’s always , well, not always, I know, snow and that is how the world is supposed to be. Especially when you’ve got your Humans properly trained to keep your house nice and warm with proper warm air vents or even a real fire. Although I have to admit a couple of years later, when I was teaching my new Human how to ski over in Gatineau Park, I had a chat with a Husky and he told me he just curls up in the snow, puts his tail over his nose and goes to sleep, letting the snow build up and over him. It’s a grand thing when you wake up, he said, you stand up and the snow goes flying everywhere. He was a bit of a hunk, really, a bit too macho for me but just the same I wished I hadn’t let those Humans do THAT to me. If I’d known what they were going to do I wouldn’t have let them but they put me to sleep and when I woke up I had a bald patch, some funny stitches and it all felt a little strange inside. And ever since then I’ve never been able to have puppies although to tell the truth I’ve never felt like I wanted them. I don’t quite understand that.

Anyway, I grew up during that winter. I pretty soon got so big I couldn’t sneak in behind the chair anymore. I’d like to say I didn’t need to but the truth is both my Humans would hit me. Not often but enough. More than enough. They didn’t need to. But we did go outside a bit. Sometimes, not often, I’d get them to take a drive and I’d direct them to the woods. That was always fun. There’d be deer and squirrels and rabbits and lots of wonderful scents in the air.

Then it started warming up again, the snow melted and there were puddles everywhere and the ice melted and a few times one of my legs would break through the ice and into the water below. That wasn’t much fun as the water would then freeze again in the snow and I’d get little icy bits between my paws and sometimes they’d bleed. But it warmed up some more, the snow disappeared and the flowers came out and a whole lot of birds I’d never seen before would flit about and call and sing to one another from the trees.

It actually got too hot for me. I’m a proper winter dog, with long fur and I quickly grow a warm, fluffy undercoat (I don’t know why Humans don’t do that. It makes much more sense than those funny layers they put on and take off all the time.) which keeps me warm in winter, right down to minus 40 (I learned about temperatures from my next Humans but I’m getting ahead of myself). But that’s not so good in summer when it’s sticky and getting up towards plus 40. I suppose that’s one advantage of being a Human, it’s a lot easier taking those layers off in summer and I had a tough time teaching my Humans how to gently brush me to remove some of the fluffy understuff.

And still they’d hit me every now and again. I showed them a couple of times by peeing on their carpet but that made them – HIM especially – really mad and they’d just hit me and a couple of times they rubbed my nose in it. As if I didn’t know whose it was and where it came from. Really, sometimes Humans are so stupid I don’t know how they survive.

I’d had enough. I decided I needed new Humans, Humans that would do what I wanted them to and not beat me. I decided I had to go back to FOAP ‘cause I knew that was the best place to look for new Humans. It took a while, though, and the leaves were started to change colour and fall (a bit like snow, really) before I managed to get them to take me back to FOAP.

One very nice lady, although she smelled a bit funny, to be honest, a sort of squeaky smell, if that makes sense, welcomed me back (I didn’t really remember her but she said she remembered me) and sent me off to another lady who smelled proper but that’s probably because she was already looking after three other dogs. They were nice enough, I suppose, the house was warm and there was plenty of food (although I had to watch the Husky. A couple of times I had to nip him to let him know whose food it was.) but they’d all been together a while and I felt a bit out of place. Which is true, I was, but I kept very quiet, kept out of mischief (that was hard) and waited. At least she didn’t beat me and the other dogs all said she never beat them but just the same it was hard not to back away whenever she walked into the room with a newspaper in her hand.

I knew I just had to be patient.

Chapter 2

A New Beginning

To be honest, I started to get a bit dispirited, even a bit grumpy, because my new Humans didn’t appear straight away. I know now I was a bit silly, things don’t happen just because you want them. I was as patient as I could be. I didn’t chew anything, well, nothing except the bones we were all given and to be honest that was enough.

But the nights were getting longer and it was getting colder, but it was warm inside – too warm, really, especially beside the big bath. She said it was something called a pool and she went swimming in it but we dogs weren’t allowed. Not that we wanted to, it was all steamy and far too warm. I was just waiting for the snow, for when life could really be fun.

Then one day, just after the sun had set, a little Human came to the door. She was perfect, just what I’d been looking for, I could tell, with her blonde fur and green eyes and she smelled right. I knew she’d do whatever I wanted. She was with a really big Human, an Alpha Male, and he looked a bit funny with