Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em?
    Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em?
    Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em?
    Ebook175 pages2 hours

    Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em?

    By Alan Smith

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    This book was primarily conceived as a culmination of research I did into the practices of real-life people in the persuit of their professions, namely Undertakers, Police and Morticians. Don't ask why, I have asked myself that question many times. Maybe I was just curious about what my Father did later on in his life, after he sold all the Antique shops he used to own.

    I spent many an happy hour at the local watering holes of these respectable people, listening to their stories, documenting all of the pranks, antics and practices in an effort to do some research for a story I was writing at the time. However, this particular story materialized in another form, as the research I was doing, turned out to be the start of this book you are going to read, called "Undertakers, who'd have 'em?"

    It wasn't intentional that I wrote stories about these seemingly clandestine operators, just that what I heard, made me sit up and take notice and think about which direction I was being taken. After all, what set out to be research for my other book, led me in a different direction completely.

    All the stories in this book, are as told to me by real people. They're not invented or embellished in any way, shape or form. This book really isn't for the general public, but I see no good reason why anyone should be denied the right to read it.

    This is the only time I have had enough spare time to concentrate fully on finishing what I started - The Books!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAlan Smith
    Release dateMay 27, 2013
    ISBN9781301813377
    Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em?
    Author

    Alan Smith

    Born in Ashton-Under Lyne in Lacashire (now Tameside) at a date I am not going to disclose for now! I spent a long unsatisfying childhood of broken dreams and promises. I decided I was going to start work as an apprentice cook, so I started work illegally at the age of fourteen,- still not satisfied, at Walls factory in Hyde in Cheshire. That was during the school holidays. Once the holidays had finished, it was back to school to finish at the age of fifteen.After a brief period of being an apprentice welder at Sturtevant Engineering in Denton I started on my Electrical career and being then a "nearly time-served" electrician, after a 4 year period, I decided to go labouring for the extra money needed. Having an electronics background as a hobby, I thought it was only natural that I should persue this and when I was 21, I joined the Royal Signals, studied Telecommunications, got married, had two wonderful girls and travelled throughout Cyprus, Germany, England, Gibraltar and Ireland. I Started a folk group whilst stationed in Laarbruch in Germany, called Penny Farthing. We travelled all over Europe with the group. (Well, Belgium, Holland Germany) I Play G banjo,Tenor Banjo, Guitar, Cittern, Bouzouki, Mandolin, Bass, Tin Whistle, Dulcimer and sitar. Keyboards figured well into my life as I learned to play the piano at an early age, materialising as keyboards in a band.I got my first computer, which was the ZX Spectrum 48K (wow, so much memory!), I started to program in BASIC. When I left the Army in 1987 - now you can start to put together the clues on age! I started working in Telecomms and later on Data companies like IBM and Lucent Technologies. I wrote many comedy songs. During the course of my writing career, I have written many thousands of pages of comedy, speeches and commissioned works for other people and their companies and many hundreds of CV's for people looking for work. So, in effect, my writing has literally helped me through the hard times when I was out of work.I still write the books using a real pen and paper, the analogue version of a word processor. When I first started writing books, I was amazed at, after using computers for work and providing documents, how hard it was to control my hand to do real writing. It was unbelievable! It was like a drunken spider had crawled out of an inkwell and walked across the page. If it wasn't for the fact that I use lined paper, I think it w...

    Read more from Alan Smith

    Related to Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em?

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Q&A Elaine Pagels

      May 23, 2019

      Q&A Elaine Pagels
      5 min read

    • Article

      Shelf Life

      Sep 2, 2021

      Shelf Life
      4 min read

    • Article

      Ashleigh Bryant Phillips

      Jun 10, 2020

      Ashleigh Bryant Phillips
      6 min read

    • Article

      A Year in Reading: Tim Lane

      Dec 8, 2021

      We stopped at the Topaz Internment Camp, where my wife’s family was held during World War II, near the tiny town of Delta, Utah. We found the apocalyptic remnants of one of our country’s great shames. The post A Year in Reading: Tim Lane appeared fi

      7 min read

    • Article

      The Final Countdown

      Feb 12, 2022

      The Final Countdown
      8 min read

    • Article

      Epic Eulogies

      Feb 12, 2022

      Epic Eulogies
      8 min read

    • Article

      Tales Of A Country Parish: From The Vicar Of Savernake Forest

      Feb 9, 2022

      Short Books £12.99 Many of us, during the darkest days of the pandemic when churches were locked, clung to a regular online holy event to guide us through the grimness. We weren’t just watching the streamed Sunday service from the local vicarage’s ki

      2 min read

    • Article

      Reading Vonnegut to Cope with Death

      Oct 15, 2018

      I received the call late on a Saturday night. I live in Europe, far from my home in the U.S., so receiving a call from my mother at 10 p.m. my time (1 p.m. her time) was never unusual. But when the tone of her voice on the other line was a distinct “

      6 min read

    • Article

      Resurrecting Forgotten Lives: The Millions Interviews Stacy Horn

      May 10, 2018

      Stacy Horn defies death by ceaselessly writing books about it. Although her first book, a memoir titled Cyberville: Clicks, Culture, and the Creation of an Online Town, was about her creating the New York City-centered social network Echo (a network

      9 min read

    • Article

      Requiem for a Reader

      Jul 28, 2017

      My first memory of my father as a reader was him telling me to hurry up; it was almost time to silflay. The post Requiem for a Reader appeared first on The Millions.

      12 min read

    • Article

      Meet The Author

      Apr 7, 2020

      The poet and writer JEAN SPRACKLAND discusses her latest book These Silent Mansions: A Life in Graveyards How did you become interested in graveyards? I’ve always felt comfortable in them, and I’ve always felt that they were places where I was able

      2 min read

    • Article

      Readers' Letters

      Feb 8, 2023

      Readers' Letters
      4 min read

    • Article

      Funeral Crasher

      Oct 20, 2022

      Funeral Crasher
      4 min read

    • Article

      Read a (Love) Letter From Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

      Mar 16, 2017

      167 years ago today, Ticknor, Reed & Fields published The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic novel of repentance and slut-shaming. But actually, this isn’t about The Scarlet Letter—it’s about one of the most fascinating friendships in lite

      5 min read

    • Article

      Past Times

      Oct 24, 2021

      Past Times
      5 min read

    • Article

      In Search of Writers’ Haunts

      Oct 10, 2023

      I seek out the haunts of writers because pursuing the paths of those who have gone before affords me a degree of justification in my own pursuits. The post In Search of Writers’ Haunts appeared first on The Millions.

      8 min read

    • Article

      My Adventures in Hell

      Jul 25, 2019

      On one particular drive, I interrupted my father and told him, apropos of nothing other than to see how he would react, that I didn’t think Hell was real. The post My Adventures in Hell appeared first on The Millions.

      8 min read

    • Article

      Reasons To Be Cheerful

      Sep 7, 2022

      I’M settling down to gather my thoughts when my husband sticks his head around the door. ‘Try and write something cheerful. Nobody needs reminding of all that is wrong with the world.’ He may as well ask me to have a go at glossolalia. I know he’s ri

      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em?

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Undertakers, Who'd Have 'em? - Alan Smith

      fbook_preview_excerpt.htmlZێ7j_J^Y24I<LVݙd*r|͗9dfJ,0 uW1ɸ8gg)1/?wl}^>}9V oIhzgfLogfJ|F\Ȧ{5G{X?sXm5qGFB9&9ktO>TmSg;j4~f: a}o>cؚ&.i1 i< R ϙcGHaaDl'ugcgGykl2 y`?ؐ2>޵&J1p;1;/K;%<37]J7:{lů( ,qtk9p00 Bl&:8 0!J|j]lnKnuُ-[W18*bSMerx]>p4}LLucw0䰯KBtΏr"ɉhU%2ޡmqOl eXt7#h]K]gO dѽr8B\ΩmcƵȇT׻OaeIIUϸ3{e,C!1ȁ=*q-0]e!CQpBrx/Ao;|f^>:Q10 Œ7~=EX[*5.@T+!MXob=jr MX8 ZM,q"xG% w"6r\O/ SE:guƮ-P]B ~o`D| {$_bw |V8+dq8z:"o"0pQ\0wVl3`ۚQDݛsLa>!mBr2mnDS i>3G8rČ44p臭I3}xbaz R\ gxn6Q-K#osَK.%R ܖ"@"Ua5%aԞxp7,)c[ļg8x"aVDx;xY4g! Ri_GbKGHA4%5E T1d@*}߉NGK!H=Qݱ[zHqA)1ăӡ)fDZrx^0ic3éTxkwi8T.xZ4k(Ԕ,>H˥үZ5Ȟd%&q%r2K9qH|vdY+(Y_Z cъhIV,VmevBp5ZYGvtg/bN#!RU;6G^+Un"BQ ce  UxaV-'KYp1vZ3U `fY; un/#cޱNh\7U];#Q Ꝓ#LHN B?N Y.Z,3-iY><ny!am^`^3jPHZŒ_7|&aUaC>@?@y3x!.^;jUȍ=CajӖEXoN'n7t1j t9u;Ud҉TP[JBA ?IRa jIt i 򗐍0CUW7z Ͼ+ްfwpּ'WCar/ϧ GO?zw' ^7M Aɧ_~`.H5N:tP }m:HB@CŔsE)P[$5`l_ۧW}Sx:s~vOo~cj"e-,׵*|r$6ڗTVgE7潒vr}b XYܥh&gJ+G7ʔ"Jշ Rv$)-fR*[+ݘ}Q\$t8?Pck FK5!u3βjH~Զ?պ4wk"2G*uCNPĀ/pN 4^|k M^ %TϤ7fK#T?tȑxWiD=Π!}T\Љ GZ@1Cq9]µ<"DrP$vML~%D|橠~ "o\R(JɊ~UbV t$ cbVF \Ӧ^FfL7uKP0zlr9 ΊyvGNG/gnރwX'W%|m/zQ;27Bk"uuw[';)Zujete#*%C~)k bZ B5W<fj_.b;> @QtgŸzH&OfS;7|!)m1/OHm_o&˴"JE]&f9Աm)d'm'm.gU<姙a玾(]xf"tjpмL\80[:dKË/Q3CnHkji* [mZHiZVOJ?}-}Ɠ';'ϸIc >"r6 SqJ]͔̏r+~;4 % |dl 4PzP7Z_[K~T]ymHRW>IcZNU.3+;L4^R&*5|.lTomHD]Nѩ\*(W瀏_J8 ;o~BZȭ\PGWUo޼/Bp8I{]u\'fj;Kh:ىQ5Q(N[i5N")H=K+gMZ|.x+F;D:*X\R^ǨOR\e ~ DWmW QZv)`gi"!!,
      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1