Escalators

By Danielle Tara Evans

After enduring a childhood in poverty with his alcoholic and extremely neglectful father, Jason Schultz is now a grown man suffering from depression. Between his strained relationship with his sister, a job as a cook that he despises, and his overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, he struggles to make it through each day. When he falls in love with a new waitress at his work named Lydia, he imagines a better life with her but believes he can never have her. As his depression escalates, he makes a decision that will dramatically alter the course of his life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Danielle Tara Evans
• Release date: Apr 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301745388

Danielle Tara Evans

Danielle Tara Evans lives in the Philadelphia area with her husband and three furry children. She has been writing fictional stories ever since she was a young child. Her first novel, Escalators, was published in 2012, and her other works include The Cleansing and The Revolt: The Sequel to The Cleansing.

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Escalators

By Danielle Tara Evans

Copyright 2012 Danielle Tara Evans

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

For my husband, Tom.

Thank you for your help, encouragement, and support.

Without you, I never would have finished this book.

You are the only proof I need that true love exists.

Prologue

He didn’t know where they were going or why his mom was panicking. He was moving as fast as his little legs could carry him, but he was having trouble keeping up with her.

C’mon, Jason! Hurry! she said to him as she clutched onto his hand, while still pushing his baby sister in the small stroller. We need to get on the train before they get to us.

Who, Mommy? he asked her.

The people who are following us.

Frightened, he glanced behind him but couldn’t see anyone who was even looking in their direction. The train station was crowded with people, but no one seemed interested in them.

I thought we would be safe in a public place—that’s why we came here, but they’re still after me. Suddenly, she came to a halt. Stay here with your sister. They’re after me, not you. So just stay here. I’ll get you both as soon as I can.

Then she began running away from him even as he shouted, Mommy, where you goin’?

He then saw his mom turn around with a terrified look printed all over her face. She began to slowly back up, getting closer and closer to the edge of the platform. She leaned back as if she were trying to keep someone from touching her, even though no one was there.

She was now at the edge of the platform. She took another step back, stumbled, and fell onto the tracks.

Mommy! Jason screamed as a thunderous blur plummeted past.

Chapter One

Driving, thinking this should last longer than he knew it would. The window was rolled down, and the autumn air was just beginning to get a little brisk. Smoking a cigarette, flicking the ashes outside in specks of orange. His radio was blaring, and he was tapping his fingers and singing along to the words he knew and mumbling to the rest. It was a song he had heard many times before, but he could listen to it over and over again without ever getting sick of it.

Once the song was over, a crappy song by a band he hated started to play so he switched through a few stations. Commercials, DJs droning on about upcoming concerts he couldn’t care less about, and more lousy songs. He eventually settled on a song that was at least somewhat tolerable but by no means all that great.

Jason loved this feeling of driving home after a long and exhausting day at work. It made him feel as if he were free to some extent, but that feeling never lasted for very long. The drive was too short, his time at home after work was far too brief, and the next day came much too quickly. This realization always seemed to shove the feeling of freedom down a garbage disposal.

And as nice as it was to drive at night with no traffic and to feel the wind on his face, it was also disheartening to know that he was alone. There was no one sitting in the passenger seat, certainly no car seats in the back, and there was no one waiting for him at home either. He supposed he only had himself to blame for this as his sister reminded him of so many times. He worked too much and never went out anywhere. Any friends he had from high school were long forgotten, and he didn’t have any real friends at work.

He often tried to immerse himself in an imaginary world where he could be someone else, someone better, someone with a more exciting life. He could be like a character he watched in a movie. He could have a great job, a beautiful wife, and maybe even a couple of kids. He wouldn’t live in a shitty apartment or drive a ten-year-old car. These fantasies could give him some comfort for a little while, but they would vanish so easily as reality always seemed to take over.

He was too busy at work to think about much else besides work. He was a cook at a restaurant, a bar and grill type place, nothing fancy. But it was almost always busy, and he worked with two morons so that made it all the more difficult. There was Steve, who was the owner’s nephew so he got away with everything. He could come in late, leave early, and spend half the night texting on his goddamn cell phone. And Barry, Steve’s uncle and boss, wouldn’t say a damn thing to him. Then there was Lou, who was a nice man, but he was older than dirt and extremely slow. So of course Jason got stuck doing most of the work.

And let’s not forget about the waitresses. They were bitchy and demanding, and they never failed to give him a headache by the end of the night. So after working at least twelve to thirteen hours a day, six days a week under high stress conditions, it was hard to be optimistic about anything. And if one of the other cooks called out, which certainly was not unheard of, he would get stuck coming in on his one day off for the week. Then he would have to work for a ridiculously long stretch before he even got a break.

Lately, he was having difficulty enjoying anything. He used to really appreciate his time off, but now it seemed like all he did was dread going back to work. He could feel dread seeping out of his brain and leaking into his eyeballs so that everything he saw was covered in it. Sitting at home on a day off, he could see dread smeared all over the bare walls, and he could see it draped over the trees outside his window. Nothing was beautiful, nothing was fun. It was all just a reminder that he would be trapped inside a hot kitchen for countless, miserable hours.

His sister, Melanie, always told him that he was crazy to work so much—that Barry was a slave driver and an asshole. But Jason was the head cook, so he was needed there the majority of the time. He had been working there since he was thirteen years old when he started as a dishwasher, under the table of course. He felt a sense of loyalty and knew he wouldn’t get paid as well working anywhere else. Not that he got paid all that great, but he had no trouble paying the bills, and he usually had some spending money left over. Besides, his sister always had something to say about everything.

Melanie had moved to Pittsburgh about two years ago when her husband’s job transferred him there. They had a decent sized single home, and they just had a baby almost a year ago. Pittsburgh was just on the other side of the state; Jason lived in the suburbs of Philadelphia. But it was still a very long drive, about six hours, so they hardly even saw each other anymore. She would call him on the phone, usually about once a week. And sometimes he would return her calls, and sometimes he wouldn’t. He loved his sister, but there was only so much of her he could take. She would always talk about these great things in her life, and then complain about how hard it was to be a stay-at-home mom sometimes. Then she would get on his case about his life.

He could just hear her voice in his head. Oh, you’ll understand one day when you have kids… As if she was a fucking expert or something after only being a mother for a year. Why don’t you try online dating? I know a girl who ended up marrying this guy that she met online. Even after telling her he had no interest in online dating, she would still go on about it as if it was the greatest idea in the world. She couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t at least want to try it.

After getting off the phone with her, he would want to drink himself to sleep, but then he would be reminded that he was acting just like their father. She would love to tell him that too. He was a miserable bastard just like Dad, except Dad could never hold down a job and never wanted to work. All he does is drink. So what if Jason liked to have a few beers after working all day and night? It’s not like he would drink in the morning, and he never drank if he had to drive anywhere.

He hated the fact that his sister always wanted to talk about their dad and their shitty childhood. He just didn’t want to talk about it anymore. What was the point? They were adults now. None of that mattered anymore. Get over it. Our father is an asshole. So what? So are a lot of fathers. Just don’t deal with him. Don’t talk to him, don’t call him.

It also annoyed him that she felt the need to talk about it so much when she didn’t have to deal with their father half as much as Jason did.

He thought about the conversation they just had on the phone last week.

I really wish Dad would stop drinking. I mean, he’s been drinking heavily since we were little kids. I know he’s still depressed about our mom dying, but it’s been so many years. I don’t even remember her, she had said.

He’s not gonna change, Mel.

I know, but it was so awful living with him.

Yeah, it was.

I know I was lucky that I got to live with Grandma for so long—until she got sick and died. But it was hard not having real parents and not being able to live with you.

I know, Mel. It really sucked. But what can we do about it now?

"Yeah, I’m glad it’s all over with. It’s just so messed up. I mean, it’s like Dad wasn’t really there even when he was. He didn’t care when I left home at the age of sixteen to live with Dave’s parents. Can you imagine letting your sixteen-year-old daughter go live with her boyfriend?"

Nope. But this is the same guy who always had enough money for alcohol even when there wasn’t enough for food or rent. Or the electric bill. It really sucked in the wintertime when we didn’t have any heat. And on the many occasions where they were evicted, they had to sleep in the car. But Melanie wasn’t there for any of that. By the time she came to live with them, Jason was already working at Barry’s Restaurant. Then about a year later when he had turned sixteen, he got a second job working at a grocery store so they could afford their bills and still pay for other things they needed, things as simple as clothing and school supplies.

Regardless, Melanie certainly did not have it easy. After all, she lost her mother at a young age, was raised by her grandmother because her drunk father could not take care of her, lost her grandmother, was taken care of by her brother, and then taken care of by her boyfriend’s family while still in high school. But at least there was always someone to take care of her. And despite all of this, she has always had a positive outlook on life, and she has remained a genuinely happy person. After all, she now has a wonderful life and a family of her own. Jason was glad for his sister that she was doing so well, but he couldn’t help being a little envious. It seemed like she had everything she ever wanted, when he had so very little.

He was having suicidal thoughts more frequently than usual lately, but he was always too afraid to act upon those thoughts. Death was unknown. He feared there would be something, and he feared there would be nothing. But he often thought death had to be better than this. Even if it was just nothingness and he ceased to exist, at least he would no longer have to wake up in the morning. But of course he would think of his sister too. She was the only one who would miss him, but he was sure she would get over it and move on with her life.

Thinking about everything, it made him remember a horrible memory from his childhood. When he was fourteen years old, he had pulled out his wallet to pay for his lunch at school and was horrified to see there was no money in there. He had specifically put money in there not only for lunch but also to give to the landlord since the rent was due. And it was gone. He knew that his father had stolen it. Embarrassed, he tried to explain that he must have forgotten his money at home. The cashier knew him and was very nice so she told him he could take the lunch, but he would have to pay for it tomorrow. He smiled, thanked her and promised her he would, but inside he was fuming. His face must have been bright red, and he wanted to punch his father out.

When he got home, good old Dad was sleeping in bed as usual. His bed was just a mattress on the floor with some blankets but no sheets. He shook his father to wake him up, but all he did was groan and roll over.

Then Jason started to yell at him, What did you do with the money that was in my wallet? That was the rent money. You better not have used it on alcohol.

His father mumbled, Leave me the fuck alone.

No. What did you do with the money? That was my money. You had no right to take it.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. He was starting to wake up.

You took the money out of my goddamned wallet. Don’t lie to me. I know you did. His heart was racing, and his hands were clenched into fists.

I didn’t take no money. Now get the hell out of here.

No. Not until you tell me what you did with it. I need it back. The rent is due, remember? You wanna get kicked out of here too?

Then his father jumped up, grabbed him by the throat, and shoved him against the dresser, choking him. He could barely breathe, and his head hit the corner so hard that his scalp started to bleed. When his father let go of him, Jason lunged at him, not wanting to back down. But he was only fourteen, and he was not very big for his age. He ended up with a black eye and getting punched so hard in the stomach that he felt like the wind got knocked out of him.

I told you to get out of here. Why don’t you ever listen to me?

He never did get the money back. He had to beg the landlord to give them more time to pay the rent, plus he had to pay a late fee. He even asked Barry for more hours so that he could afford to pay it. He tried to forget about it all now and let it go, but it still infuriated him.

He could drone on and on in his head about all of his problems for the rest of his life, but he was home and all he wanted to do was get a shower, eat, and go to bed. He could smell the restaurant on himself; an unpleasant mix of various foods that didn’t belong together at all. He parked his car in the gravel driveway that led to his apartment. It was located in a large, old building that used to be a farmhouse but was converted into smaller apartments over thirty years ago. The stucco on the front of the house was turning black in some areas, and the creaky old steps that led to the front door had large cracks in them.

He put out his cigarette in his car’s ashtray and turned off the ignition. When he got out, he stepped on stones and crunched leaves that had been decayed by death’s curling iron. He coughed, a hoarse cough that usually accompanies heavy smokers. The night sky was virtually almost starless, so it made the clouds appear to be masses of land on a map, while the sky itself was the dark ocean. The street he lived on was quiet at this time of night. He could see only a few squares of light in windows of houses nearby, some yellow from lamps and some blue from television screens. But most windows were dark now that it was almost midnight on a Thursday.

Being that it was Thursday, the worst couple of nights of the week were coming up. Friday and Saturday. Since he worked in a restaurant, they were the busiest nights of the week. He hated the weekends because they were always understaffed, and the waitresses were even more irritable than usual because they never got their orders as fast as they wanted them and their tips depended on it.

After fighting with the front door to his apartment that always sticks, he finally made his way inside to the pigsty where he lived. He probably hadn’t vacuumed in at least a month, and there were always dishes in the kitchen sink and clothes all over his bedroom floor. He had to remind himself to go to the laundromat on his next day off which wasn’t until Tuesday. His living room had a sagging green couch and a small flat screen TV. There were DVDs stacked on top of his TV stand, and there were a couple of glasses and a take-out container full of old French fries sitting on the coffee table.

He kicked off his sneakers as soon as he walked in the door. His feet were killing him as usual. He got a quick, hot shower and blew off shaving since the stubble on his face was barely noticeable yet. He put on a Tool t-shirt and a pair of boxers and then went to find something to eat in his fridge. He was instantly reminded that he had an Italian hoagie in there. He grabbed the hoagie and a can of beer on the side of the fridge and then made his way over to the couch.

He yawned, picked up the remote and turned on the TV. After checking the guide and not finding anything, he selected a sitcom that was on his DVR. Once he bit into his hoagie, oil dripped over his fingers, and he regretted not getting a paper towel. He paused the show and headed to the kitchen and then noticed that his answering machine was blinking. He so rarely checked his machine since it wasn’t often that he had a message. It would be either a telemarketer or his sister. He hit the play button.

Hi, Jason. It’s me.

Right away, he knew it was Melanie.

"Just calling to say hi and to remind you that Ariel’s first birthday party is in a couple of weeks. It’s on Saturday, October 23rd at 1 PM. And remember it’s at my in-laws’ house so you don’t have to drive six hours to get there. But please don’t forget to ask your boss for that day off. I’m hoping you already did, but I know how forgetful you are. Please call me back as soon as you can. You better be there! I hope you’re doing okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye."

Shit. He did ask off for that day, but Barry said he would have to get back to him. Most likely, Barry forgot, and of course so did he. And it was only a couple of weeks away. He knew Barry didn’t want to give him the day off. The last Saturday he had off was his sister’s wedding, and he remembered even that was difficult to get. The problem was if Jason didn’t work on a Saturday, then Barry would have to cook. And Barry didn’t like to cook anymore. He only did under emergency situations. Melanie would say tough shit. If he doesn’t like it, he should hire more people. It’s not your problem. You should be able to have a life.

But Jason didn’t have a life, and he was always willing to work so Barry didn’t feel the need to hire anyone else. And if he didn’t go to this party, his sister would kill him. It’s his niece’s first birthday. She’ll never have another one again. How dare you miss that!

It was too late to call Melanie back now, and he would have to talk to Barry about it tomorrow. He just hoped he didn’t forget. He didn’t want to miss her party. His niece was adorable, and he wished he could see her more. But another part of him really didn’t want to go. For starters, it was a social gathering, and he was never any good at being social. It was at Dave’s parents’ house, which like she said, was close by, but it would be all of Dave’s family and friends. They were upper class people that he had absolutely nothing in common with, and he hated to be around them. His parents were nice, but the rest of his family seemed incredibly snobby. Worse than the family was the other company that would be there—Amy, who was Melanie’s best friend and Jason’s ex-girlfriend. And Amy would be bringing her fiancé, the man she started dating about a week after they broke up. She swore she didn’t cheat on him, but he wasn’t certain she was telling the truth.

Right before Amy had ended things, she had called him on the phone to tell him they needed to talk when she got home from work.

As soon as she walked in the door, she had said they should sit down. He could tell by the look on her face that none of this was good.

I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and I think I should move out, she told him.

Why? he asked, devastated by her blunt statement.

I really don’t want to hurt you, Jason. But—I just don’t think we’re getting anywhere.

What do you mean?

I—I don’t know. I can just see us living in this dump forever, and you working at Barry’s forever… I—I just really can’t see us getting married or having kids together. He probably would have asked her to marry him if she hadn’t already made it clear that she was not ready.

Why not? I mean, I thought you weren’t ready for marriage, but maybe soon… And we can look for a new place if you want. I’m sorry I’m not home a lot, and I don’t go out with you much. I can talk to Barry and see if he’ll let me cut my hours back. And if he doesn’t, maybe I could start looking for a new job.

It’s not that, Jason. Well, I guess maybe that’s part of it. But I just don’t think I want to be with you anymore. I’m not happy.

What do you need me to do? I don’t want you to be unhappy. We can change things for the better. We really can. He knew he must have sounded desperate. He wanted to ask her if she still loved him, but he was afraid he already knew the answer.

I think it’s best if I leave. I’m sorry, Jason. I really am.

Where are you gonna go?

I already talked to my sister about staying with her for awhile.

How long have you been thinking about this?

She shrugged. Awhile, I guess. I’m gonna get my things. I can come back for the rest later, she said, avoiding his eyes.

And then she left.

The last time he saw her was at his sister’s wedding over two and a half years ago. He did not want to see her again at the party.

More things to dread, nothing to look forward to.

Chapter Two

The next day at work, he remembered to ask Barry again about taking the day off for his niece’s birthday party. Barry was sitting in his cramped, little office staring at the computer screen. When Jason asked him about it, he sighed heavily and had to move scattered papers all over his desk in order to find the buried desk calendar.

Barry was a short and chubby man with balding hair that he attempted to fix with a poorly done comb over. He had a gruff voice and bushy eyebrows that made him look tougher than he actually was. His stubby, fat fingers kept tapping the date on the calendar as he looked up in the air, trying to think of some good excuse as to why Jason could not take the day off.

I don’t know, Jason, he said, still unsure of what reason to give other than he didn’t want to have to cook. I really need you that day. It’s a Saturday. As if Jason didn’t realize it was a Saturday. You know we’ll be really busy.

I know, but it’s my niece’s first birthday. My sister will kill me if I don’t go. Could I maybe come in late that day instead? He had thought about this all this morning when he was getting ready for work. He would try to get the whole day off, but if he wouldn’t budge, then he would see if he could work a shorter day instead. The party started at one, and it would probably be over by four or five at the latest. It would take him about a half hour to get to work from his sister’s in-laws’ house, so he could get here just in time for the dinner rush.

Like what time are we talking?

I don’t know. Maybe five or six?

He pursed his lips and squinted his eyes, deep in thought. I don’t know. I mean, I really need you for the dinner prep.

He wanted to say, what the fuck? Can’t Steve or Lou work on dinner prep? Why was he the only one that he relied on? He knew he was the head cook so these were part of his duties, but couldn’t someone else step up for once? What if he got sick? Fortunately, he rarely ever did. Even on days when he probably shouldn’t go to work, he would go in anyway. But he didn’t say any of that.

Then Jason blurted out before even fully thinking about it, "Well, I could always