The Mormon Woman... Goddess or Second Class Citizen?

By Bonnie Ricks

Using the stories of twelve women (plus the author) who have left Mormonism and have become born again Christians, The Mormon Woman... Goddess or Second Class Citizen? reveals the effects of Mormonism on the lives of women, and shows the stark contrasts between Mormon doctrine and the Bible. The first 23 chapters focus on subjects from being a “baby factory”, eternal marriage and polygamy, all the way to the shocking subject of satanic ritual abuse. The final chapter examines the biblical view of women to give the reader a clear picture of how Jesus views women and how precious they are to Him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bonnie Ricks
• Release date: Dec 4, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301657223

Bonnie Ricks

About the Authors Bonnie and J.R. Ricks are both ordained ministers and Certified Christian Counselors. They have worked in evangelism for 20+ years, currently living and operating their ministry, Dogwood Ministries, Inc., in Blessing, Texas. Their primary ministry is writing daily devotionals that are entitled “Take a Minute” and are distributed all over the world. Bonnie has been writing since she first learned to use a pencil. Her first published work was “Various Things, but Mainly the Golden Train”, a short story which appeared in her college literary magazine, Potpourri. Her first professional published work was a short story – “Bracelets” – published in the Arkansas Times Magazine. More of her work appeared in that publication over the next few years, including “If Your Nose Itches, Someone’s Coming with Holes in His Britches”, “Catfish Guts and Other Wonderful Things” and “How the Side-Hill Gouchers Whomped the Wooly Boogers”, which was awarded the Earnie Deane Tall Tale Award, and which will shortly be the first in a series of children’s ebooks under the overall title of Tales from Lalacalona County. She is also editing a new ebook written by Marvin Walters entitled So You Want to Be a Stunt Person, which will be published shortly. Bonnie graduated from Hendrix College in Conway, AR with a degree in English and Journalism. She has worked as a freelance writer, as well as a writer/producer/director of industrial films and commercials, as well as teaching high school English and Journalism. She produced the first telethon for the March of Dimes in Houston, Texas, winning a regional "Telly" for one of her PSA’s. She has been published in print and has won regional writing awards for both non-fiction and fiction. She’s been a serious Bible student for over 30 years, and had a radio ministry for three years KSBJ in Houston, Texas. J.R. attended seminary in Houston, Texas, and is an alumnus of Texas A&M. He’s owned and sold three successful businesses, worked in radio production, and on the air as a DJ for Christian stations in Houston, TX and Salem, MO. He was chairperson of United Christian Counselors of Missouri for nine years, and served as Youth Minister at Carr Lane Baptist Church in Missouri. Together, J.R. and Bonnie have written scripts for industrial film producers, plus had their own "talk" show on a Christian radio station in Salem, Missouri. Currently, they are producing audio versions of their daily devotionals that will soon be available through a link in the email version each day. Both J.R. and Bonnie are disabled, but continue their primary ministry – daily devotionals distributed all over the world, along with active mentoring and counseling of new Christians.

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What people are saying about

The Mormon Woman... Goddess or Second Class Citizen?

This book truthfully describes, often in heartbreaking detail, the less-known aspects of Mormon womanhood. Even those of us who were faithful, happy Mormons cringed when we heard, as I did in a Relief Society meeting, that Women are the doormats upon which men wipe their feet before they go in to God. Bonnie Ricks’ chronicling of the truths and the tragedies behind such statements will linger in the reader's mind long after the last page is turned.

Latayne C. Scott,

Author, The Mormon Mirage (Zondervan)

I have read Bonnie Rick’s manuscript The Mormon Woman... Goddess or Second Class Citizen? and find it a compelling history of what Mormon women endure. It is a story that needs to be shared with Christians to help them understand the role of women within the Mormon Church.

Growing up in Salt Lake City as a 7th generation Mormon, I can attest to the accuracy of the stories in this book. After spending 40 years in the Mormon Church and over twenty years involved with Ex-Mormons for Jesus in Southern California, the stories are typical of what other Mormon women have experienced in their lives. Almost all the books to date written by Ex-Mormons and others have covered the same ground, namely the error of Mormonism. Yet this book, The Mormon Woman covers new unplowed ground and brings out into the open some of the dark secrets of the male dominated priesthood of the Mormon Church.

Carvel Stewart,

Former President, Ex-Mormons for Jesus

Having read the manuscript, The Mormon Woman, I wholeheartedly endorse it as a vitally needed book that will change the hearts of untold thousands of Mormon women! Be assured that we will feature it in our Newsletter and Web store and carry it as a regular product in our catalog.

Ed Decker

Saints Alive in Jesus

We feel that the world needs to know about the abuse and hopelessness of women trapped in the cult of Mormonism. This book opens the reader to invaluable insights into their secret torments and could serve as a powerful tool in winning all Mormons to Christ. We would recommend it to any serious student of Mormonism.

Dan & Agusta Harting,

Directors of Mount Carmel Outreach, Families Against Cults

*****

The Mormon Woman…

Goddess or Second Class Citizen?

by Bonnie Ricks

Copyright 1996, 2012 by Bonnie Ricks

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All Bible quotes contained in this book are from the New International Version 1984 (NIV1984), unless otherwise specified.

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He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:2-3

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Dedication

This book is dedicated to the memory of my former mother-in-law, Nell Wiggins. During the brief eight years that I was married to her oldest son, she treated me with incredible kindness and love. For a number of years after the divorce, that was not the case – with her having a mother’s natural reaction of wanting to defend her son, no matter what. However, in 1996, she contacted me through a message she sent with my oldest son who had gone to visit her. The message said, You were right. I was wrong. I still love you as though you were my daughter. I hope you can forgive me. I couldn’t dial the phone fast enough! After that day, we once again became very close, keeping in touch mostly by telephone. When J.R. and I were in North Little Rock for my father’s funeral, we went to visit her, and she fell in love with J.R.!

Nell passed away several years ago while still an active Mormon. It is my hope and prayer that somewhere along the way, she met the real Jesus, even though she never said anything about it and never left the Mormon Church. I know my relationship with her was unique. She was my Mom and I was her daughter. That’s all that matters.

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Table of Contents

Prologue... A Confusing Mess

How to Make Sure Your Daughter Becomes a Mormon

Bonnie Ricks' Story

A Subtle Attitude

Evelyn Hall's Story

Sandra Cable's Story

Christine’s Story... It’s a Small World

Babies, Babies and More Babies – Providing Bodies for Heavenly Father’s Spirit Children

Sandie Hausaman's Story

Depression and Emotional Distress

Carolyn Clack’s Story

Sherry’s Story

Sarah’s Story

Out of the Darkness

Cary Marshall’s Story

The Feminist Faction and Our Mother Which Art in Heaven

Sally Hass' Story

The Occult Connection

Rhoda's Story

Polygamy and Blood Atonement

Marlene's Story

Satanic Ritual Abuse

Norma Jean's Story

Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!

I Am Woman... What Does That Mean to Jesus?

Appendix A... Ex-Mormon Women... What Do They Think Now?

Appendix B... LDS Church Organization

Appendix C... Three Degrees of Glory - The LDS View of Heaven

Appendix D... Ministries to Mormons and Those Leaving Mormonism

About the Author

Connect with Bonnie Ricks online

Endnotes

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Prologue...

A Confusing Mess

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13

In the process of researching this subject, I amassed an incredible amount of paper – so much so that my husband threatened to add a room to our house just to store it all! My once comfortable office became a maze, with a single path leading from the door to my desk. If it weren't for Post-It Notes, I would never have been able to make any sense of those varied piles of books and papers.

It was even more difficult to make sense of Mormon Doctrine – on any topic! I’ve found that what a Mormon knows and believes – specifically concerning Mormon doctrine – depends on how long the person has been Mormon, how old the person is, whether the person was a convert or born into the church, what part of the country and/or world the person lives in, whether the person is a man or a woman, etc. As such the Mormon doctrine shared in this book comes directly from the published books, magazines and other publications of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, since most of the books have had many changes made to them, when I reference something, I have noted the year of publication for the document being used.

Because of what I just stated, I have to offer my undying gratitude to Sandra Tanner and her late husband, Jerald, for their impeccable, well-documented research and their commitment to accuracy. Although I own or have access to many of the books they reference in their work, they saved me untold hours of searching page by page through tedious Mormon documents for particular quotes. Instead of spending days wondering where did I read that?, I usually found the desired information very quickly by grabbing one of their meticulously prepared books.

Another source of help for this book came from the former Utah Missions in Marlow, Oklahoma. I am so grateful to them for opening their files to me, and for the wonderful source of information their Evangel and Inner Circle were to me, not just in researching this book, but for the first 15 years after I left the LDS Church. The founder of that ministry, John L. Smith, has passed away, and it is my understanding that the ministry is no longer in operation, but they provided a tremendous resource and an effective ministry for many, many years.

I also want to thank Ed Decker and the staff at Saints Alive in Jesus. If not for their prayers and their efforts in helping me locate women who would be willing to be interviewed, this book would have taken much longer to write. I praise God for their spirit of ministry and their desire to see more and more Mormon women recognize the lie that holds them captive.

Shortly after Saints Alive published a notice in their newsletter asking for women who would be willing to share their stories, I began to receive cards, letters and phone calls from women throughout the United States and Canada, all wanting to tell me about their experiences with the Mormon Church. I've included twelve of these women's stories, as well as my own, in this book. For the most part, I have used their stories as they were submitted to me – in their own words, filled with their own heartaches and tears and laughter and the genuine peace, freedom and joy they've found in Jesus Christ. The impact of the stories was so great that I felt it would diminish their significance if I re-wrote them or edited them in any way.

I only had the privilege of meeting in person with four of the women; the rest I got to know through the mail and over the phone. Each of their stories is different. Each is heart-rending. Some are frightening. Some requested – either because of fear or because of a desire for privacy – that their names be changed for this book. But with each of the women, two common elements prevail – the deep and abiding love that each has found for the real Jesus of the Bible, and the conviction that an LDS woman is, at the very highest estimate, nothing more than a second class citizen in the Mormon world.

One other thing you will notice as you read the words written by the women themselves is anger – an emotion that boils up uninvited each time any of them discusses their experience with the LDS church. Why, you ask, if they're so dedicated now to Jesus, can they not forgive and forget? They can, and they will. Some of them already have. Some of them were healed of their anger through their efforts in helping with this book. Others are well on their way.

Recovery from Mormonism is a slow and painful process. Mormonism is not just a religion – it is an entire lifestyle, a social structure, a pervasive set of rules that dominates every moment of every day. When a person – man or woman – leaves the LDS Church, everything about that person has to be restructured. Everything within that person has to be healed. Somewhere along the line, the anger surfaces... anger at having bought the lie... anger at the wasted years... anger at anything and everything connected with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know. For some time after I left the LDS Church, I was filled with it, too.

It's not a normal anger. It is deep-seated, excruciating and intensely personal. It surfaces unbidden at the sight of anything LDS – a TV commercial, missionaries on bicycles, a Mormon Ward house. But it can be healed. Sometimes it takes months. Sometimes it takes years. Always it takes prayer and an increasing closeness to Jesus and His healing power.

So, I ask you to forgive any anger that you sense in the words of these women. Realize that the anger is not toward the LDS people; rather it is directed toward the author of the lie that held them captive for so long, and against the well-planned and well-executed deception that continues to dominate the thinking of the Mormon priesthood. Read past the anger and see the pain that caused it. And pray for each of them.

One final note... Although the official version of the Bible used by the LDS Church is the King James Version, I have used the NIV 1984 version throughout this book, except for some selected verses. I did so because the NIV is much easier to understand. No one speaks King James English today, plus the meanings of many words have changed over the centuries, rendering the KJV translation difficult to interpret in many spots. Since the goal of this book is to promote total understanding of the plight of the LDS woman, I wanted to make all of it understandable, especially God’s Word.

This book, by design, is not a scholarly tome. Those who desire to conduct deep doctrinal studies will have to do that on their own, using, I might suggest, any and all of the books I refer to herein, plus the wealth of information that can be found on the internet, starting with some of the ministries listed in Appendix D. This book, instead, is intended to be read by women who want information... women who have left the LDS Church to follow the real Jesus... women who have suffered at the hands of the Mormon Church... women who have lost friends and daughters because of the Mormon Church... women who need to be healed of the hurt and anger that still surface in spite of their desires to quell those destructive emotions... women who have lost their self esteem... women who need to find real self esteem by seeing themselves through the eyes of Jesus.

This book is also for LDS women with enough courage to read a book the Mormon Church most assuredly will not approve or endorse. Perhaps within these pages – perhaps within one of the varied stories told by the women who contributed to this book – you might see yourself. And perhaps it will give you the courage to turn away from the darkness and the burdens and the hopelessness of Mormonism toward the light and the freedom and the hope we have found in Jesus Christ.

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How to Make Sure Your Daughter

Becomes a Mormon

...my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children.

Hosea 4:6

Some years ago, the Mormon Church began an active campaign to convert Christians out of their own churches. With their multi-million dollar public relations campaign, including the all too familiar – and incredibly enticing – television ads, plus their all-out effort to be accepted as Christian, the campaign is working.

It's working for another reason, also. It's working because our Christian churches and parents are falling short in an essential area – teaching the Word of God. My husband likes to use an illustration of how the Gospel needs to be taught, telling about how his grandfather taught him to drive a nail. First you give it a tap to set it in place, then you strike it five more times to seat it firmly, giving it a seventh strike to drive it home. Teaching the Gospel takes seven strikes, too. The first tap is what the person receives on Sunday at church. The next five are what he learns Monday through Friday. The final strike to drive it home is what he gets on Saturday, preparing him for a new nail of the Gospel on Sunday.

I have a copy of the Uniform System for Teaching the Gospel – the outline for the Mormon missionary lessons. It should be entitled the Uniform System for Deceiving Christians Who Don't Know God's Word Very Well, because a person who is a Sunday Christian, who knows just enough of God's Word to think they're Christian, could sit through those lessons and become totally convinced that the Mormon Church is what it claims to be – the only true church on the face of the earth – because not one word of the real doctrine of Mormonism is taught. They save that until later, feeding it to the unwary new member a bite at a time, making it palatable by convincing the new member that if a person questions a doctrine, that person is coming under the control of Satan. A Ward teachers message in June, 1945, said, When our leaders speak, the thinking has already been done. Lucifer wins a great victory when he can get members of the church to speak against their leaders and to do their own thinking.

In their June, 1999, issue, Families Against Cults in Carmel, Indiana published a profile of a typical cult convert. Following is that profile:

"I came from a main-line denominational background, from Catholicism, evangelical Christian, or sometimes from another cult. Eighty percent of us came from Christian backgrounds – forty percent of used to be Baptists.

"I could have sat in my church and never heard the gospel, even if it was taught. I never responded to an altar call, or if my pastor gave an altar call, I didn’t think it applied to me. Perhaps I did respond to an altar call, but I didn’t feel anything, so I thought it was ineffective. I was told that I must be baptized in the Holy Spirit and speak in tongues, but since I didn’t, I thought God had rejected me.

"I believe in the supernatural, and I thought only good people went to Heaven. I could never believe that God would send anyone to Hell.

When I was contacted by the group, they agreed with me on almost everything. They didn’t believe in Hell either. You see, they had the answers that really made sense to me. I didn’t understand the Bible, and I had never heard a warning about cults from the pulpit. My pastor said it wasn't loving to be negative about other people’s religions... he said all religions led to God… he said we were supposed to have tolerance and unity".

"I thought all cultists wore saffron-colored robes and had their heads shaved. I didn’t know they could be so nice and look so normal.

"I was uprooted from my friends and family… I was in college… widowed… divorced… elderly… lonely. Nobody came to see me except the cultists at my door, and they wanted to be with me all the time.

I was too skinny, too fat, not smart, popular or well-to-do. I was handicapped... I felt a void in my life that church was not filling. When I came to church, hardly anyone said hi", and when I didn’t come no one missed me or called to see if something was wrong.

When I joined the cult, I was told that my pastor said that he felt bad that I had done it, but he didn’t come after me. I guess he felt safer with the ninety-and-nine.

This is why I'm including my story in this book – to illustrate for anyone who will listen exactly what is happening to thousands of well-meaning but uninformed people – people who call themselves Christians – all over the world. They are being deceived because of their own lack of knowledge – led like lambs to the slaughter – away from the light of Jesus Christ and into the darkness of Mormonism.

This chapter is for you – Pastors, teachers, parents – please, please, please heed the warning now.

"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates,..." Deuteronomy 11:18-20

Teach your children daily. Study God's Word yourselves. Not just on Sunday. Not just on Wednesday nights. Not just listening to what someone else has to say about what God says. Read it for yourself. Be like the Bereans who were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. (Acts 17:11)

This chapter is also for the Mormons – the women especially – because I love you with the love of Christ Jesus. My prayer for you is the same as Paul's was for the Hebrews:

"Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved. For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes." Romans 10:1-4

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Bonnie Ricks' Story

I was raised in a Sunday Christian home. Although my parents were good, church-going people, there were many areas that I can see today where I know that they could have done much better in their parenting of me. Let me illustrate...

My father was attending Baylor University in Waco, Texas, when I was born. He and my mother were living in a trailer park which was occupied predominately by college students. He then transferred to Ouachita Baptist University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, where he graduated with a B.A. in Religious Music. Throughout his years in college, my mother stayed home and took care of me. My father’s first job after graduation was as music director for Newport High School in Newport high school in northeast Arkansas. Shortly after we moved there, he was also hired as music director for First Baptist Church. My mother had been raised a Methodist, but had joined the Baptist church when she and my father were married.

During the seven years we lived in that small town, it was a rare time when the church doors were open and we were not inside. Sunday school, church services Sunday morning and evening, Wednesday night prayer meeting, and Vacation Bible School were a solid part of our lives.

A revival was held at the church every year, but the one when I was nine years old is the only one I of which I have any memory. I know we attended every night, since my father was directing the choir. I vaguely remember the final night. An altar call was given, and all the kids around me got up and headed down the aisle. Realizing that I was the only one still sitting, I jumped up and followed, unwilling to stick out like a sore thumb as the only one still in my seat. After the service was over, the Pastor took me into a little room and asked me a few questions. I remember nodding my head and answering Yes to all his questions, but that's about it. I also know that I was baptized shortly thereafter, but I have no memory of that event.

When I was twelve, we moved to North Little Rock, Arkansas, where my father was employed at the high school as music director. We joined a local Baptist church and became involved. A few months after our move, our church held a revival, which we faithfully attended. The revival preacher was an old-time hellfire and brimstone preacher, who shouted and banged the pulpit a lot. During one of his sermons, he said something that scared the wits out of me. I don't remember specifically what he said; I just remember being terrified. I went home that night in tears, unwilling to talk to anyone, and spent most of the night crying. The next morning, I woke up and, with all the confidence of a pre-teen who knows everything, I announced to my parents that I would never set foot in another Baptist church again.

I'm sure my parents thought I was just going through a phase, because they ignored it. When they got dressed that night to go to the revival, I refused to join them. Instead of counseling with me, they shrugged their shoulders and allowed me to stay at home. Since this tactic worked once, I knew it would work again so, being the mule-headed kid that I was, I repeated it each and every time my parents tried to get me to attend church. And it worked for over a year. Every Sunday morning and evening and every Wednesday night, my parents would get dressed for church, and I would stubbornly refuse to join them. Since they were having their own marital crisis at the time (very nearly getting a divorce at one point), they took the easy way out and let me stay at home.

The one thing that stands out in my mind is that neither my mother nor my father ever tried to help me understand what the preacher had said that frightened me so much. Instead, they basically ignored the situation. Finally, however, they became weary of my not attending church, so they asked me if I'd go to church if we changed denominations. I already had gained a sense of power where my family was concerned, so being given the option of deciding where we would attend church only added to my feelings of power. I had to maintain. I had to hold my position. This was not the time to falter! Quick thinking reminded me that some of my friends at school attended a Methodist church in a community just outside North Little Rock. They were cool, so I figured that was a cool church. Intent on maintaining my power edge, I