Fated

By S.H. Kolee

Do you need to love someone to be happy? Does happiness mean a fairy tale ending?

Caden Riley challenged me from the first moment I met him. It was more than his good looks or his fame as a photographer that drew me to him. He offered me things that I never knew I wanted, and didn’t demand more than I was willing to give.

Was I happy? I’m not sure. Happiness is an emotion I’m unfamiliar with. But I finally knew what it felt like to experience real passion. To let go of all my inhibitions and surrender to my desires. It was enough for me, because it was more than I ever expected.

Until Caden tempted me with possibilities. The possibility of a future; the possibility of a life I never imagined; the possibility of heartbreak and never hearing the words "I love you."

Love is a funny thing. It can make you feel like the world is yours to conquer. It can also bring you to your knees. I’m not sure which is my fate.

• Language: English
• Publisher: S.H. Kolee
• Release date: Dec 4, 2012
• ISBN: 9780988474437

Book preview

Fated

by S.H. Kolee

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 S.H. Kolee

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Cover design by Humblenations.com

Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter One

Shit. Macie Spire's one-word expletive shot out of her with the force of a small explosion as she walked back and dropped her cell phone on the table in disgust.

What's wrong? I asked, looking up from my menu. She had ducked outside to take the phone call and I was hoping she hadn’t gotten in trouble for squeezing in lunch with me on a busy workday.

I'm going to kill my friend Sandra. She was supposed to fill in for me at work while I'm away, but she just told me that she decided not to wait to move to Virginia. She was supposed to leave in August to move in with her boyfriend but now she's leaving this weekend. I'm screwed!

I clucked sympathetically, knowing this was going to throw a serious wrench into Macie's plans. She was going on a three-month tour of Europe and Asia with her boyfriend, who was a photographer for a travel magazine. The only way she had gotten her boss to agree to give her such an extended period of time off was for Macie to find a temporary replacement.

Macie clutched my hand in desperation. Lauren, you haven't found a temp job yet, have you? You'd be perfect for it!

I shook my head slowly, steeling myself for Macie's imminent plea. Can't you find someone else? You don't leave until Friday.

Today's Wednesday! Macie wailed. Caden is going to kill me! The only reason he agreed to give me three months time off is because I was able to get Sandra to fill in for me. He trusts her since she covered for me last year when I had to go home because my mom was sick.

What makes you think he would trust me then? I frowned. I'm a stranger. Plus, I have no experience as a personal assistant.

"I trust you, Macie said emphatically. And you have plenty of experience as an administrative assistant. It's not that different, you just run a lot more personal errands."

I sighed, knowing the real reason why I hesitated in helping Macie out. I really had no valid excuse. I was staying at Macie's apartment while she was away and I still hadn't found a temp job. When she had mentioned on one of our frequent phone calls that she was looking for someone to sublet her apartment while she was abroad, I had jumped at the chance. Chicago was starting to feel suffocating and it seemed I could never escape my past. The thought of living in New York City, if only for a few months, had been irresistible. I hoped I would be able to find a job and a place of my own before Macie returned from her trip so I could stay in New York permanently. In the meantime, while I looked for a full-time position, I was planning to temp through an agency.

So filling in for Macie while she was traveling seemed like the perfect solution. But the thought of working for Caden Riley made me hesitate. I had never met him before, but I was well aware of who he was. He was a superstar of the art world, a veritable prodigy who’d had showcases devoted entirely to his photographs when he was just a teenager. Now at thirty-two, he was a media sensation with his controversial photos that often garnered both critical acclaim and condemnation for his inflammatory subjects. His latest collection walked along the edge of pornography; a series of photographs that captured women in the midst of violent orgasms. It was often rumored that he was the one to drive the women in his photographs to climax before taking their picture.

Caden Riley was exactly the type of man that made me feel uncomfortable, anxious even. The thought of his raw, unleashed sexuality made me shudder, but not in pleasure. It didn't help that he was so handsome. I had seen plenty of pictures of him in magazines and newspapers, and there was a virility to him that jumped out even through the pages. I had spent most of my life avoiding men like Caden Riley.

Lauren, please! Macie begged. She looked at me plaintively. Just come and meet him. She bit her lip before continuing. Honestly, he might not even want to hire you. He's a bit difficult when it comes to trusting new people. But he trusts me, and I'll vouch for your skills and credibility.

I reasoned with myself. There was no logical rationale for refusing this temporary job that was falling in my lap. Throughout my life, I had continuously striven to tamp down my irrational fears of men. I was tired of being afraid, tired of passing on opportunities because of my anxiety. I was tired of letting my past control me.

Okay, I'll meet with Caden but I'm not promising anything.

Great! Macie beamed with relief and I couldn't help smiling in return. Macie was the type of person whose good cheer was infectious, and it had been what had drawn me to her when we were both students at DePaul University. She was my total opposite and everything I aspired to be. Happy. Carefree. Normal.

After the waiter took our order, Macie chattered endlessly about how she knew I would be a perfect fit for the job.

You'll like Caden. He's demanding but fair. Fortunately, his schedule is clear for the rest of the day so you can meet him after lunch.

I glanced down at my casual outfit of jeans and a turtleneck. Even though it was April, there was still a bit of chill in the air. My unruly brown curly hair, which was always a hassle to deal with, was tamed into a ponytail. I'm not exactly dressed for meeting a prospective employer. Maybe I should go home and change first.

You look fine. This isn't like working in a regular office. You can dress casually as long as you look neat and presentable.

I frowned. Isn't it weird working in someone's home? What are your hours like?

Macie shook her head. Caden's townhouse is huge and he converted the first floor into a studio and an office. It doesn't even seem like you're in his house. The hours can vary. Unfortunately, it's not like a nine-to-five job and you're basically always on call. Macie smiled brightly, seeming to realize that she wasn't putting the most positive spin on the job. But Caden doesn't make crazy demands and he's pretty understanding about his employees having a personal life.

Have you ever been to one of his photo shoots? My voice dropped to a hush, not wanting anyone to overhear our conversation. Is it true what they say about him and his models?

Caden keeps his photo shoots very private so I've never been present for one. Macie shrugged. As for the rumors about him getting his models off, who knows? As long as he's a fair boss and I get my paychecks on time, he could be reenacting the entire Kama Sutra in his studio, for all I care.

I breathed a little easier knowing that I would be closed off from Caden's photo shoots. The last thing I wanted to witness was any sexual acts between him and his photography subjects. But I still couldn't help being a little curious. But don't you...hear things?

I'm pretty sure his studio is soundproofed. Macie grinned. Or else the women are really, really quiet.

Macie spent the rest of lunch filling me in about the various duties of her job, and before I knew it, it was time to meet Caden. I had met Macie for lunch around the corner of Caden's townhouse on the Upper East Side to make it convenient for her, so we didn't have far to go.

I was a bundle of nerves as Macie unlocked the front door, but I was determined to not let my phobias control me. I trailed behind Macie as she stepped through the entrance and opened another door immediately past the foyer, across from stairs that presumably led to Caden's home. The office was spacious with two large desks on opposite sides of the room, facing each other. Macie dropped her bag next to one of the desks and sat down.

This'll be your desk. The other is Caden's, but he doesn't use it that often. He has a personal office upstairs that he mostly uses.

Macie checked her watch and then indicated for me to pull over a chair and sit down next to her. Caden should be back from his lunch meeting pretty soon. Why don't I start going over his schedule with you?

I watched as Macie opened up his schedule on her computer, listening to her go on about appointments I was responsible for booking and errands I was supposed to carry out on a regular basis. My head was filled with the names of a dozen important contacts as well as how often I was supposed to drop off his dry cleaning, when I heard the door open.

My breath caught when I saw Caden step inside the office, his presence making the office suddenly seem small. The pictures I had seen of him hadn't done him justice. He was well over six feet tall with dark brown hair that was almost black. His strong features graced a decidedly masculine face that was equal parts male beauty and rugged handsomeness. Caden's gray slacks were perfectly tailored for his body, his black belt showing off a trim waist. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, revealing the tanned column of his strong neck. But his eyes were what drew me in. It was hard to describe their exact color. They were a tawny golden brown, reminiscent of warm honey. Amber, I would call it. Most women would be captivated by his gaze, feeling a tingle of pleasure as his eyes drifted up and down their body with interest. But I just felt displeasure coursing through me at his obvious look of assessment. I couldn't completely suppress the frown on my face.

Caden! Macie waved him over to her desk, as if she were the boss instead of him. I was surprised when he just sauntered over at her imperious demand, but I was also relieved when his gaze shifted from me to Macie.

Caden, this is Lauren Sloan. I need to talk to you about Sandra.

Caden held out his hand, scrutinizing me with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. I reached up and watched as my hand disappeared into his grasp, his hand tightening as we shook.

Nice to meet you, Lauren. His voice was deep with a gravelly timbre, igniting all my nerve-endings. I felt an unfamiliar pull inside my chest as I forced a smile on my face.

You too. I quickly pulled my hand out of his grasp, trying not to look flustered. I reminded myself that I had handled intimidating men my entire life, although I wasn't sure if any of them could compare to Caden's quiet forcefulness. His steady gaze was oppressive and I felt trapped. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that I was in control of my life now. No man had the power to force me to do anything.

Macie piped up, oblivious to my inner thought processes. She did seem to notice that Caden was distracted as she waved a hand in his face, trying to get his attention.

Caden, over here. About Sandra... Macie looked nervous for the first time since Caden had walked into the office. She's not going to be able to fill in for me. She decided not to wait to move to Virginia. But Lauren will be the perfect replacement! Actually, she's even better than Sandra. She's been an administrative assistant for years and I can vouch for her dependability and trustworthiness.

Caden frowned, swinging his gaze back to Macie. It was disheartening that he seemed less than enthused about my potential employment with him.

You're leaving in two days. That's not enough time to train someone. He glanced at me before addressing Macie again. Maybe we should talk about this in private.

I lifted my chin despite the flush that I knew was coloring my cheeks. It was embarrassing that I was obviously found wanting in Caden's eyes, although I couldn't entirely blame him for not wanting to hire a stranger.

I completely understand your reservations about hiring me. Honestly, I'm not sure it's a good idea either. I was just trying to help Macie out.

Caden raised an eyebrow at me, and I could see a glimmer of a smile, but it was gone before I could even register it.

I'm not questioning your competency, but my life is very complicated and working for me isn't easy. Being a personal assistant is completely different from being an admin. I can't afford to have my schedule be disrupted by someone who's not experienced.

My annoyance began to rise the more he talked. If he thought my life's goal was to pick up his damn dry cleaning and make him dinner reservations, he had another thing coming. Sure, he was a well-known artist, but I doubted being his assistant was akin to being a rocket scientist.

I rose from my seat, striving for a polite expression. I think we're in agreement that this probably isn't the best solution. I looked at Macie's crestfallen face, feeling apologetic but not enough to actually listen to Caden list my perceived shortcomings. Sorry, Macie.

Caden grabbed my arm before I could walk away and I froze. A dozen emotions were colliding inside of me, but the strongest one was fear. Even though he hadn't grabbed me roughly, he had taken me by surprise and I felt my body automatically produce a rush of adrenalin.

Caden frowned and guided me back towards the chair. Sit, he barked authoritatively. He seemed to take for granted that I would follow his order as he looked at Macie and nodded his head towards the office door that led to the foyer. Let's talk out there.

I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could get a sound out, Macie gave me a pleading look before following Caden. I didn't know what to do after the door closed behind them. I definitely didn't want to sit, but I couldn’t just rush off since I would have to pass them before I could get outside.

In the end, I decided to sit down because I felt foolish just standing there. Sitting helped to calm my nerves as I gave myself a silent lecture to pull myself together. It had been a long time since I had felt so discomfited by a man, and it was an unwelcome feeling.

Caden and Macie were only gone a few minutes before they strode back into the office. Macie gave me an encouraging smile but I just frowned at her. She may have been able to convince Caden that I was a good fit for the position, but I wasn't so sure I wanted the job.

I rose as they got closer but Caden indicated for me to sit back down as he pulled a chair over and sat across from me. I felt a jolt of annoyance at myself for automatically acquiescing and sitting back down, but I suppressed the urge to stand back up. There was a difference between being assertive and acting like a petulant child. I really needed to get my emotions in check. My protective shell that was usually like a second skin wasn't very effective in guarding me against Caden's gaze.

I glanced at Macie who sat behind her desk, before I turned back to Caden.

I should really go. I don't want to hold you up any longer.

Caden ignored my statement as if I hadn’t spoken. He was no longer looking at me with a predatory gleam in his eye, but with a bland expression of professionalism.

I didn't mean to disparage your qualifications earlier. You have to understand that the most important thing about working for me is discretion. I can't risk having people leak stories about me, whether it's to the tabloids or to my colleagues.

Caden leaned back in his chair as he spoke, propping an ankle on his opposite knee. He rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and steepled his hands, looking at me speculatively. I couldn't help but notice how his movement stretched his shirt across his broad chest so I could clearly see that despite being an artist, he had a body more akin to an athlete. His slacks tightened around his muscled thighs and I swallowed, shooting my gaze back up to his face. The thought of Caden noticing me checking him out was mortifying, erasing the surprise I would have normally felt about my reaction to him.

Caden continued talking, and I couldn't tell from his expression whether he had noticed my appraisal of his body. Macie has assured me that not only are you qualified, you're trustworthy. He smiled sardonically. And as much as Macie can drive me crazy, I trust her judgment. She's worked for me for three years, much longer than any assistant I've had before. I have to warn you that you're on call 24/7 with this job. I'll want you here most mornings by nine a.m., but there are times you'll have to come much earlier and stay late. I won't normally need you on the weekends, but it may be necessary every now and then. If I call you at three a.m. with a request, I expect you to follow through with it. But I reward loyalty. I'll be paying you the same amount that I normally pay Macie.

I gulped when he told me the figure. It was easily more than quadruple the amount of money I had ever made at any job. Despite my earlier misgivings, it would be absurd to pass up on the offer. It was only for three months and it would help replace the gouging my savings account had taken due to the move to New York, especially since I was still paying off my student loans. And I had no personal life to interfere with being on call since the only person I knew in New York would be leaving for three months.

Besides, Caden was now treating me with distant professionalism instead of the open interest I had seen earlier. This gave me peace of mind, although I still didn't like his autocratic manner.

I smiled at Caden in what I hoped was a confident manner. The terms are agreeable with me. I'd be happy to be your assistant while Macie is gone.

Caden nodded, but instead of smiling back he rose and looked at Macie. Make sure she fills out all the paperwork, especially the confidentiality agreement.

He left the office without a backward glance, and I waited a few beats after he shut the door to speak.

Is he always such an ass?

Macie burst out laughing. Don't worry, when I first started working for him, he would barely crack a smile at me. Now he's much more relaxed around me, but it takes him a bit to warm up to new people.

I could understand how Macie could charm someone out of their gruffness. She was the epitome of sunshine and good cheer, a gregarious creature by nature that had people flocking to her. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum, reserved and quiet, content to listen rather than talk. But I had no problems with Caden not warming up to me. I preferred keeping a detached professional relationship with him.

What's this about a confidentiality agreement?

Macie was rummaging through her drawer and pulled out a stack of papers. Caden makes everyone who works for him sign one. It's basically to prevent people from leaking stories about him.

Does that happen often?

Macie shrugged. Not that I know of, but Caden makes the repercussions of violating the contract pretty severe, so I doubt anyone would try. She grinned at me lasciviously. The models that work with him have to sign one too.

I raised my eyebrows as I scanned the lengthy document. It all seemed like a lot of legal gibberish. I guess he doesn't want the sordid details about his photo shoots to become public knowledge.

It also protects him from them lying about what actually happens. I'm sure some of the women he photographs would love to go around telling everyone they shagged the great Caden Riley, even if it wasn't true. This way, they can't say anything, whether it's the truth or a lie. Caden is a good person. Macie hesitated before continuing. He's just...complicated.

Macie's defense of Caden made me realize her loyalty to him. It reassured me even more that working for Caden was a good decision. If Macie was so fond of him, I didn't have anything to fear.

So how often will I be getting those three a.m. phone calls?

Macie grinned. He's just trying to scare you. He said the same thing to me when I first started, but it's never happened. Honestly, Caden is pretty easygoing as long as you don't mess up. Her smile turned into a grimace. But don't mess up. Caden has a way of looking at you that makes you want to sink into the ground. It's even more effective than yelling and getting angry.

I spent the next hour filling out paperwork and then Macie started training me on my various duties. Caden never came back to the office, which didn't disappoint me. Macie and I left the office together at the end of the day, since we were living together until Macie left for her trip. I now had a place to live and a job, although both were temporary. I was okay with temporary. It was better than living in the past.

Chapter Two

Don't forget that Caden has a standing squash game every Thursday at one o’clock with Michael Seymour, his lawyer. You should call every Thursday to reserve a court for him at his club for the following Thursday so you never forget.

I wrinkled my nose at Macie. We had spent the entire Thursday morning going over more of my duties, and I was starting to realize just how many responsibilities I had. It was a weird sensation to be in charge of someone else's life.

I didn't think people actually played squash.

Macie laughed at my skeptical expression. "You'd be amazed at all the things I discovered people do in these hoity-toity circles. I've actually had to use the term yachting more than once."

I grinned at her incredulous tone. I knew Caden was a pretty famous photographer, but I didn't realize it was such a lucrative career.

Macie's smile diminished, her expression almost sad. Caden makes a ridiculously good living as a photographer, but he also comes from money. She leaned in closer, dropping her voice. You'll probably hear rumors about his parents. People never speak about it anymore, but every now and then someone will unwittingly mention it.

I drew my brows together as I tried to recall everything I had ever heard about Caden Riley. Even though he was a well-known photographer, his fame was mostly contained to the art world, so I didn't know much about his personal life.

What happened to his parents?

Macie grimaced. His father shot his mother and then killed himself when Caden was only thirteen. Apparently his mother was having an affair and his father went crazy. Poor Caden was witness to it all. I just thought you should know because it explains a lot about him. Normally, I never talk about it.

My heart clenched in sympathy for the horror Caden had experienced. I wasn't a stranger to trauma as a child, although nothing could compare with what Caden had gone through.

That's horrible. I can't even imagine having to witness something like that.

Macie opened her mouth to respond, but we both jumped apart when we heard the office door open. Caden had been absent all morning, and it was now past two o'clock when he strode in. I tried to keep an impassive expression on my face despite the guilt I felt for gossiping about him with Macie.

The impassive expression was even harder to maintain when I caught sight of him. He had obviously just come back from his squash game. He was holding a racket in one hand and wearing black athletic shorts and a blue shirt that was darkened by sweat. His calves were well-muscled and I could see the corded strength of his forearms. My mouth felt dry as my eyes traveled up to his sweat-dampened hair clinging to his forehead.

Hi, Caden, Macie greeted him casually, as if she was unaffected by Caden's gorgeousness. I wondered if she was immune to his good looks because she was so used to him. I prayed I would become immune as well.

Hello, I said with a smile, hoping that I didn't look as dumbstruck as I felt. I was more chagrined than anything else to realize I was so attracted to him.

Caden nodded at us before leaning the racket against the wall and settling behind his desk. How's the training going?

Great! Macie answered enthusiastically. Lauren is picking everything up easily, just like I knew she would.

"Macie has