Farrah in Fairyland

By B.R. Stranges

You may think that you know about the mythical beings known as fairies, but the truth will shock you.

14-year old Farrah Fancycracker hates her life. Although she lives in Fairyland, the most wondrous place in the universe, her talents have been wasted. As a small-winged Ordinaria fairy, she is not permitted to practice the Pixie Arts to become a Tooth Fairy. Only the Superiora, the so-called ‘elite,’ big-winged fairies are allowed to explore the full extent of their powers at the Pixie Academy.

Everything changes after a vicious attack from the Cornuto creatures. With Fairyland at the brink of extinction, the Fairy Queen calls upon all fairies, both Ordinaria and Superiora alike. Having unexpectedly discovered that she is in fact a Tuttatti fairy, the most powerful fairy in Fairyland, the fate of the land now rests in the hands of Farrah. Will Farrah seize this opportunity to show Fairyland just how powerful she really is?

An epic Young Adult Fantasy that follows the adventures a young wannabe Tooth Fairy named Farrah Fancycracker.

• Language: English
• Publisher: B.R. Stranges
• Release date: Aug 18, 2012
• ISBN: 9780991691715

B.R. Stranges

B.R. Stranges is from Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. He dabbles in everything from short stories, to poetry, to song lyrics, to picture books, to all kinds of fiction, and movie scripts. He wishes his writer's voice would give him a break every now and then, but, oh, who is he kidding - he loves it!Many of his story ideas are derived from his obsession with strange films and documentaries. His biggest inspiration however, is his students. Stranges has been an elementary school teacher for eight years and loves using his storytelling ability to motivate in the classroom.ZOMBIE GANG: REGENERATED EARTH, PAULIE POTATOES GANGSTER CRUSADER, FARRAH IN FAIRYLAND, DR. SILLYPANTS AND THE SECRET LABORATORY, MICKEY ANGIE LOWE AND HIS CRAZY FANTASTIC DOODLE PEN now available in digital format.Book Trailers:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQMqzHojrPchttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MpO1YH1tGYhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efVWmQouedIWebsite:http://brstranges.wix.com/brstrangesbooksPlease check out his blog for future eBook launches.http://drsillypants.blogspot.com/

Book preview

Chapter 1: The Legend…

The earth is burning, Farrah!

It’s always burning; actually it has been so long…I can’t remember it not burning.

Yeah, but this time it is different. This time it burns even worse.

You’re talking nonsense, Giuseppe.

I’m telling you, Farrah, it is worse. I can’t even see Mount Everest anymore.

What in all of Fairyland are you talking about, Giuseppe?

Look – the smoke is so thick and black that you can’t see anything down there.

Okay, okay, let go of my hand…you’re right, what the heck are they doing to themselves?

I don’t know, but it doesn’t look like things are getting any better Farrah

Silly humans, I can’t believe that they would destroy such a wonderful place.

I guess they didn’t realize how wonderful it was until it was too late.

My dad used to tell me about this place on earth. It was a beautiful garden with many plants and flowers, and the most wondrous birds and insects used to live there. My dad wanted dearly to go down and see it in person, but he never had the chance to.

It is too late now, Farrah, it’s probably gone.

Yeah, sad isn’t it?

In a sense, yes.

In a sense? How can you say that, Giuseppe?

Well, I was just thinking, maybe now that things are so bad down on earth, people will want to come and live up here in Fairyland.

You bite your tongue, Giuseppe.

I know, Farrah, it is not the most tactful thing to say, but if they do start to come and live here, maybe Fairyland would be saved.

People haven’t made the voyage to Fairyland in years, Guiseppi. Plus, you know that Fairyland can’t exist without the Earth.

Your realism always puts a damper on things, Farrah. Just once I wish you would let me dream a little.

Dreaming is for suckers, Giuseppe. If you want to make something happen, you go out and do it.

"Pfft – What are you, an Ordinaria going to do?

I don’t know, Giuseppe…but Fairyland will not disappear – I won’t let it!

*****

Whatever you think you know about fairies – you are dead wrong. It is true that some fairies are wonderfully playful and innocently kind, but others are vicious beyond your wildest nightmares. Luckily, I’m here to help you along – you know, just in case you ever encounter one of those not-so-nice fairies. That is, of course, if you dare to read on. Nobody will blame you if you put this book down. Nobody will blame you if you want to keep your precious images of tiny, sparkly fairies alive. As for those of you that want to know the truth, you can keep reading.

Our story begins at a time when the world was completely coming apart. Natural disasters and rabid disease had forced many humans to lose faith. Ravaged by numerous wars, they had forgotten what it truly meant to live – to be human.

Having fun had become an abnormal occurrence. The human race had become one of seriousness, a boring culture of survival, if you will. The survivors had forgotten how to love and were now driven by hatred. However, I guess that is natural for any culture that is just trying to survive.

Humans believed that fighting was the only way to maintain their way of life. Of course, this was at the expense of the earth, which was being destroyed at a phenomenal rate. As Farrah and Giuseppe looked down at earth from the clouds of Fairyland, they barely recognized the once remarkable place.

Thankfully, our story is not about the earth. Instead, our story is about the mysticalness that is Fairyland. Don’t be fooled however, Fairyland had its own problems. Problems that some would consider were even more devastating than the ones endured by humans.

The exact location of Fairyland is hard to pinpoint. After all, it hovers just beyond the clouds. Perpetually in motion, Fairyland is at the mercy of the wind. Graceful yet unpredictable, the land is propelled in every direction.

It is a land where the weather is always at a comfortable, warm temperature and the bright orange trees and grasslands are rich and lavish. The seas had been enchanted the colour of red and much like the land itself, the landforms within this mystical land were in constant motion. This makes it especially difficult for a fairy to find his or her favourite lake to take a dip, or a favourite hill to take a hike. Before I go any further, it is important to understand what I mean by the word fairy. As I have already alluded to, your impressions are probably skewed.

For instance, the fairies of Fairyland look nothing like the ones often portrayed in movies. They are not as royal looking as the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella, and not as fragile as Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. The fairies within Fairyland are approximately the same size and shape as humans. Some Fairies are large with humongous muscles, much like the humans that compete in the annual Iron Man competition. Some are beautiful and slender like the human celebrities that grace the cover of magazines. Other fairies are not so fortunate, looking somewhat grotesque. This has forced them to hide away in the forested areas of Fairyland. A good thing, considering they often indulge in the flesh of fairies.

Five distinct features separate Fairyland fairies from humans. The first is the fact that they all have wings, as you may have already guessed; two transparent wings that glitter silver in the sunlight. However, not all fairies can fly. The Ordinaria have a set of wings, which are far too small and they are relegated to using other modes of flying transportation. Only the Superiora, with their large magnificent wings, can soar through the skies. It is because of this that there is a deep separation and even hatred between the Ordinaria and the Superiora, but I’ll get to that a little later. Oh, and I’ll let you guess for now what category Farrah falls into.

The fairies of Fairyland all have six fingers on each hand. This can come in handy, especially for the speedy completion of those unflattering household chores. A fairy has pointed ears that come up well past the top of their heads, perfect for hearing other fairies flying above. Fairies also have tiny tails, reminiscent of a furry chinchilla’s tail. Cute yes, unless you are a big-bottomed fairy, then the tail tends to stick way out for all to see.

The face of a fairy is somewhat protruded with the tiniest hint of a snout. Although one might think otherwise, this does not give a fairy a heightened sense of smell. Furthermore, each fairy always carries a pouch of Pixie dust with them. Although, the dust is tailored to that individual fairy and it is not a generic all-magical brand as many humans think.

*****

Farrah, what are you doing? FAR-RAH! Stop ignoring me. What are you DOING!

I- I’m going down there, Giuseppi.

But you can’t, Farrah! If the King finds out that an Ordinaria has gone down to Earth, he’ll throw you in jail.

I don’t care anymore, Giuseppi. Our land is falling apart, something has to be done.

Farrah, you are naive to think that you along can solve all of Fairyland’s problems.

Well, I don’t see anyone else doing anything about it?

Farrah, please…you don’t have a plan. You’ll get killed!

*****

There is a legend that all of Fairyland knows. It involves an outlandish King who put forth a radical concept for the fairies of Fairyland. They were given the choice to give up their powers and go to live down on Earth as regular human beings. He called this his Utopia Clause. He wanted only those fairies that were truly happy to live in Fairyland. There was only one stipulation. They were to reveal the secret of Fairyland to as many human boys and girls as possible. The story goes that if that, if a child believed that Fairyland exists and truly wanted to leave earth, their wish would be granted. Unfortunately, it had been ten years since any earthling had made the mystical journey to Fairyland. This is at the heart of our story.

In all, it is said that over one thousand humans did come and live in Fairyland. At one point, the Fairy Queen had tried to convince the king to eliminate the rule out of fear that many of the talented Superiora fairies would depart Fairyland for Earth. As it turned out, this would never be a problem. In the beginning, it was mainly the misfit fairies, those that didn’t really fit in, that chose to give up their powers and go to live as a human.

Most recently, Fairies didn’t dare take the King up on his offer, fearing that the deteriorated Earth was on a collision course to oblivion. So the crisis had been averted. However, a new crisis loomed.

Despite popular belief, fairies age and eventually die. Although they age much slower than humans – ten earth years is equivalent to one fairy year. As it is on earth, death is inevitable in Fairyland. With no young humans coming to Fairyland, the fear was that, in the not too distant future, the fairies of Fairyland would cease to exist. This realization resulted in many sleepless nights for Farrah.

I offer my apologies to you, since I realize you do not know who Farrah is yet. Well, to put it bluntly, she is the star of our show. Farrah Felicity Fancycracker is a young fairy – one and a half Fairyland years old, which is about 15 in human years. She is an only fairy and lives with her mother, Crystaline, and her father, Couraggio Fancycracker. The Fancycracker family work as bakers, but you will learn more about this as the story goes on.

Farrah is a beautiful fairy, a classic beauty, which she accentuated well by choosing not to wear any makeup. She is the perfect height and the perfect build - her body type, slender and graceful. Here violet eyes were big and bright. She looks quite different from her parents who are both overly plump. Who can blame them, after all, as I have already mentioned, they are a family of bakers.

Farrah is indeed as perfect a fairy as they come, but this mattered not to the other fairy boys. To them, Farrah was an unspectacular Ordinaria with pathetic little wings. Only Superiora girls, like Samantha Scarcity and her big beautiful wings, caught the gaze of the boys. As a result, Farrah has never been on a date, nor even kissed a boy. Instead, Farrah devoted her time to knowledge. In particular, the history of Fairyland and all its fairies.

The official fairy records indicate that it had been 20 years since the last human made the journey to Fairyland. Farrah remembered her mother telling this story:

The young human boy was sleeping in his bed when a creature snuck into his room. It was hovering silently over the bed before the creature woke him up. He spit right in the boy’s face and laughed at him. For some strange reason, however, the human boy was not afraid.

In speaking to the Fairy – who had apparently shrunk down to a very tiny size, the boy learned that his name was Pido. He was an ugly looking creature with his belly folded well beyond his bellybutton. By far, he was the ugliest Tooth Fairy in all of Fairyland. His voice sounded mumbled, with his quadruple-chin always getting in the way.

When he first told about Fairyland, the boy laughed in the fairy’s face. The laughter quickly turned to one of annoyance when the Tooth Fairy refused to perform magic to verify the story. Unimpressed with the excuse that it was against the rules, the boy asked the weird looking creature to leave.

As explained by Farrah’s mom, the next part of the story is a little murky. For some reason, however, the boy’s attitude changed abruptly. Some say that Pido broke the rules and gave the boy a brick of gold. Others believe that Pido used a persuasion spell. Nevertheless, at that moment, the boy looked past Pido’s hideously green, lizard-like features and started to believe that Pido was telling the truth. Not long after that, the human boy was transported to Fairyland to begin his new life as a fairy.

Now that you are up to speed, I will continue with the story. Here’s a little glimpse of what Farrah Felicity Fancycracker was up to. I guess it was one fairy year ago.

Chapter 2: Farrah’s Plight

Farrah Cakes! It’s time to get up!

Farrah sobbed uncontrollably, her face buried in her pillow, as she lay in bed. Although her mother had called her a number of times to come down for dinner, she consciously ignored her, opting instead to wallow in her depression. Tomorrow, she would be starting her new career, a career that she disliked immensely because she had not chosen it. Farrah was being forced to become a baker, just like her parents and their parents and their parents. Although she had finished at the top of her class at the Pixie Academy, a culinary path was all that was in the cards for her. The more desirable fairy careers, made popular by many human fairy tales, were reserved for the elite in Fairyland. By elite, this of course, meant the Superiora. Being an Ordinaria, without the ability to fly, Farrah’s potential for a satisfying career was limited.

In actuality, elite is not an appropriate word to describe Superiora fairies. They are neither the smartest nor the most talented. By no means are they more superior in any way to Farrah, except for their ability to fly, that is. Farrah always had a hard time accepting that the Superiora were automatically granted all the spoils that Fairyland had to offer. As for the flightless Ordinaria, they were left with all of the menial jobs, like baking.

For the past five years, Farrah had been forced to learn the Culinary Arts at the Pixie Academy. The Fairy King always thwarted her attempts to switch into the Fairy Studies program. King Ridicolo believed strongly that the Pixie Arts program was too dangerous for those fairies that could not fly.

It pained Farrah to think that she could be starting her new career as a Tinker Fairy. Farrah loved to fix things, always tinkering around with her dad’s electronic gizmos. Or a Paper Fairy – working for the Pixadilly Times. She especially enjoyed the notion of using Pixie during an interview to encourage truthfulness. Of course, Farrah’s biggest dream was to become a Tooth Fairy.

As it has already been mentioned, there are hundreds of Tooth Fairies within Fairyland, all of whom have been trained in Fairyland. This of course is against popular human belief.

The job of Tooth Fairy is considered the most prestigious and the most important of all the careers in Fairyland. For one, Tooth Fairies are the only fairies with the ability to travel to earth. More importantly, however, it is the job of a Tooth Fairy to acquire human teeth, as you already know. It is from these teeth of young children that Pixie dust is made. Pixie dust is used to make almost everything in Fairyland. It is also the source of every Fairy’s power. If it wasn’t for humans offering up their fallen teeth for a monetary reward, Fairyland would not exist.

Despite the logistics of becoming a Tooth Fairy standing in Farrah’s way, namely her inability to fly, Farrah had never given up hope. This stemmed from a dream that Farrah had three before. Actually, Farrah didn’t consider it to be a dream at all. It was much too vivid, she told her best friend, Giuseppi Piscini.

I’m telling you, Giuseppi, it wasn’t a dream, but more of a premonition.

You’re telling me that you have the ability to tell the future now? I know that you are a talented fairy, Farrah, but this is too much, responded Giuseppi, as Farrah started into retelling of her vision as she always did when she was upset.

But I saw him, Giuseppi. I was there in the human boy’s room. He was sleeping in the most repulsive of places. His room was sparse and dirty – I could see everything in that room crystal clear. There was a stain splattered on the bare mattress on which he slept. There was a sole picture of a woman in a cracked frame hanging crooked on the wall. He was wearing the most tattered of clothing. The boy only felt safe when he slept. When he did, his mind could escape to a place far away from his wretched surroundings.

Farrah, what you are telling me sounds like a dream, said Giuseppi hesitantly.

Then how do you explain my knowledge of the surroundings outside his window? It was a city, which had been ravished by fire and war. His house was one of the few that remained intact. I could feel the warmth of the burning fires on my body as I slept, and under his pillow, was a single tooth that I was supposed to retrieve.

Giuseppi shot Farrah a sceptical look.

Well, how do you explain the scarf? The next morning, I found it in the top drawer of the armoire in my room.

I thought that you said your mom put it there.

Yes, that is what I thought at first, but when I asked my mom about the scarf, she had no idea what it was. It was the same scarf that was on the floor next to the human boy’s bed, Giuseppi – I’m telling you!

Despite her friend’s scepticism, it was from that day on that Farrah truly believed that she was destined to become a Tooth Fairy. With the realization that her study at the Pixie Academy was complete, and she was nowhere near close to achieving her goal, she felt sick.

FAR-RAH! You get down here this instant! yelled her mother, Crystaline Fancycracker, for the tenth time.

Figuring that she had ignored her mother long enough, Farrah got up from her bed and made her way downstairs, but not before she turned her pillow over to hide the tear blemish, she had left.

Crystaline was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her daughter. With both hands on her hips, it was easy to see that she was unhappy. Shooting Farrah a stern look, she walked back into the kitchen and placed a bowl of strawberry and lamb quiche on the table. As Farrah took a seat, her mother sprinkled some Pixie dust onto the quiche to warm it.

Don’t blame your mother if it’s dry, responded Couraggio Fancycracker, Farrah’s father, who sat across from Farrah. He was reading the Pixadilly Times as he always did after he finished dinner.

Distracted, Farrah didn’t respond to her father’s criticism. Instead, her eyes were drawn to an article on the cover of the newspaper.

FAIRYLAND"S FIFTYETH ANNUAL TALENT CONTEST TO BE HELD AT THE END OF THE MONTH.

Noticing that the article had captured Farrah’s attention, her father spoke, Don’t tell me that you are getting these grand illusions again about entering the talent contest? You know very well that the contest is for Superiora only. After all, what are you going to do? Are you going to use Pixie dust to whip up a batch of kiwi-pork chop muffins? Plus, you aren’t going to have time for any of that, because you’re starting your new job at the bakery tomorrow.

Having been reminded of what tomorrow was to bring, tears rushed into Farrah’s violet eyes, blurring them momentarily. Knowing that Farrah was upset, Crystaline finished up the dishes with one last dash of Pixie dust and sat down next to her daughter.

Farrah, I don’t understand why you are so ashamed of our family, said a gentle-sounding Crystaline Fancycracker, as she placed her arm around Farrah’s shoulder to console her.

How many fairies can say that their great, great-grandmother invented cereal?

Farrah snorted accidentally, which she attempted to cover up by coughing into a napkin. The legend to which Farrah’s mother was referring was one that Farrah was far too familiar with. As the story went, Paulmatine Fancycracker dreaded her morning routine. She found that she didn’t have nearly enough time to prepare breakfast. Farrah’s great, great- grandmother would get up a full two hours early to prepare the meal, which included bacon and eggs for the entire family. However, with a total of 20 sons and daughters, her other obligations, which involved making lunches, doing the laundry and making the beds, took up most of her morning. Despite the use of Pixie dust to speed along the chores, it was 8:00 when all the chores were finally done and she had yet to shower or change for work.

Frustrated one morning, Paulmatine decided that she wouldn’t make bacon and eggs. Instead, she combined some biscuits in a bowl with some milk and she ate them with a spoon. It was quick, simple and delicious. The entire family loved it and Paulmatine had so much extra time that morning that she even had time for the occasional bubble bath.

Word quickly spread around Fairyland of this new breakfast that saved time and money. People flocked from all over the land to learn how to make Paulmatine’s biscuits and milk. It was quite funny to see Paulmatine giving seminars on how to make breakfast. After all, the seminar took only a few short minutes. She took some biscuits, crushed them into a bowl and poured some milk over top. The simplicity of the breakfast creation mattered not to the townsfairies of Fairyland. They thought that Paulmatine had created the best culinary masterpiece since Mr. Potatofairy had invented the baked potato.

Farrah, on the other hand, knew the real story. When Farrah was ten-years old, her grandmother Gizella Fancycracker had confessed that her mother invented cereal completely by accident. According to Grandma Gizella, Paulmatine had inadvertently left some biscuits in a pail one morning. As usual, she was rushing to get ready for work when she grabbed the bucket, forgetting that there were biscuits in it and went to milk the cow. A sleepy Paulmatine Fancycracker was surprised when pieces of biscuit floated to the top of the pail. Not wanting to waste food, she took a spoon and began to fish the biscuits out of the bowl. One taste and she was hooked. She instantly fell in love with her new culinary creation, which later became known as cereal.

Farrah often toyed with the idea of telling her parents the truth behind her great, great- grandma’s creation. She thought that by revealing that piece of information, her parent’s would allow her to pursue a career other than a baker. She knew, however, that the information would crush her parent’s spirit, not to mention the business. After all, they did name their business Paulmatine’s Bakeria in honour of Farrah’s great, great- grandmother.

Farrah’s eyes were still glued to the article as she tried to read around her father’s grip. What Farrah’s parents didn’t know was that in her spare time, Farrah was learning the Pixie Arts on her own. It was a slow process without the help of a professor and only library books to assist her. Despite any success at first, it was now five months ago to the day that Farrah had perfected the Giganto Spell.

This was much to the delight of her best friend, Giuseppi Piscini, to whom she had demonstrated the spell. Giuseppi