In The Days Of Nelson Mandela And Julius Malema

By Velabahleke Njabulo Paul Vilakazi

The is a compilation of passages from speeches of political figures from within South Africa,especialy during the Political Transition Period tha gave birth to our nascent democracy.There are also a few from outsiders,but still speaking to political dynamics of this period.They are funny, gutsy and just open in an entertaining manner still.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Velabahleke Njabulo Paul Vilakazi
• Release date: May 26, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476278315

Velabahleke Njabulo Paul Vilakazi

Iam a cartoonist,satirist,opinion-former a self -esteem coach and have in the past writen columns for these publications:Sunday World,City Press and the now defunct Sunday Mirror all South Afrian Sunday Publication. I also facilitate a Self-Esteem Management course at the Pretoria Central Prison in South Africa

Book preview

IN THE DAYS OF NELSON MANDELA AND JULIUS MALEMA

a collection of media passages : of the funny, the gatvol , the nuanced

the sad and the heartfelt

of S.A.’s " first transitional ’’ period.

By Paul Velabahleke Njabulo Vilakazi

Copyright 2012 Paul Velabahleke Njabulo Vilakazi

Smashwords Edition

A Brief Reflectors’ Sharp Commentary On:

Nelson Mandela and Julius Malema’s

political personae and stature as a reason for the choice of their names being selected for the title of this book

Nelson Mandela

On the ballot list of the ANC, democracy starts to disappear after his (Mandela’s) name

- Sueddeutsche Zeitung

Anyone who wants to talk to me on the basis that Mandela is the leader of black South Africa can forget it.

- John Vorster

There’s something about this man that turn grown men into blithering idiots.

- Anonymous

(From: Dictionary of South African Quotations

By Jennifer Crwys-Williams)

Julius Malema

People like him come along once in a blue moon. His leadership potential improved all the time he improved his English. People fell into step behind him, but Julius was very young

- Fiona Forde

Malema was not always genuine; he played politics. He did turn heads, and he will be missed

-Fiona Forde

There was a lot of talent in this young man and it should have been used wisely. He had some good ideas, but he was completely self-centred. He overestimated his own importance, and his arrogance was almost unnatural. He isn’t the person he thought he was.

-Heidi Holland

(From: The Star Analysis April 27 2012 )

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I doff my hat off to South Africans of all hues and from different political schools of thought and the media, for availing me the opportunity on print, to scavenge on their both wicked and not so wicked sense of humour which has been otherwise so successful in making light the political battlefield for a South Africa that then hovered on a very precipitous transition. Honing in the therapeutic word catharsis as power - house to blunt the forever present human proclivity to blood shedding. We are now as a result , free to read the humour laden media passages offered by this book as those words that served as mid-wife to our county’s transition from apartheid to a democracy offering us at least, broadly speaking - the reconciliation aspect , as that of our inclination to bully the poor and those not smiling at the ruling regime remains in place.

I thank all those who allowed me space; especially my family, to ultimately finish this part of the task, that I begun to undertake in some period spanning two decades and a little more.

INTRODUCTION

The intention of this book is to armour posterity with those South African aspects of history that are especially fashioned by our inherent sense of humour and gatvol -ness as a nation and a people who through time, came to colonialism and apartheid from all of our varied nook and cranny existences and ultimately to experience being a new nation that we are becoming .

Just to laugh as much as possible through this writ encounter as we mature and remain in anticipation of even more work, in this genre and as we also continue to get to know this new nation otherwise reverently called the - rainbow-kwaggas … or is it die bantoes, die bruin the yellow en die wit?

Preface

To take you through a brief insight into a peculiar South Africa history of theatrical rhetoric, let’s start with the story on every body’s mind and lips today:

When Malema goes it surely is going to be back to the old damp and daft South African socio-political rhetoric ; which if not always reminding us of the apartheid sins; will no doubt from now on, have to veer towards mimicking Malema’s hard - barbed rhetoric, as his side-kick, Sindiso Magaqa had already begun to laboriously do..

For this one centre stage- lover was indeed the slickest woof ticket seller of all time.

In every other household, place of work, club, place of worship or entertainment; the big daily question on folks lips for a time now spanning some more than five years , was not just: what’s new but what’s the news about Malema.

Justice, (I reckon,) will only be done to his now very bloated name, when one of the future envisaged (e-toll gated) high ways is named after him; maybe that might serve to appease the frothy-ego about him, to ultimately rest in peace: even then, only in the days when the second transition will have had it’s day and completely burned out.

As for right now, just wait a minute; whilst the self - made, self - educated and the sharper inheritor of the moan , the rap, the woof, the vloek and all other play of words (rumbustious and pungent) of those who preceded him.

The most philosophically warped of these rhymes having been : the bantoe is born to be the hewers of wood and the drawers of water- H F Verwoerd, Churches in South Africa are more worried about women coming to church wearing hats, than they are of apartheid-Alan Boesak, God is not a Christian - Desmond Tutu, : Adapt or die- P W Botha ,(most revolutionary vloek ever):, This parliament is a toilet- Chris Hani , I am a plaas-boer, I eat only rump steak - Eugene Terreblanche, : We took Thabo Mbeki out of a dust-bean in Hillbrow dusted him off and made him a president". - Fikile Mbalula. Of cause this is when Fikile was still an inkwenkwe.

Though we had in football Bra E the lip Nene, we have not yet had among us woof-rapper of Muhammad Ali’s stature and rap intelligence quotient :" I sting like a bee and float like a butter fly, I arrest lightning and put thunder to jail, I’ m so mean I make medicine sick, I am the greatest of all time. Malema came quite close.

We have had Malema and his almost a slicker- clap-traps; if not more of the vulgar.. So, our now bewitched psyche will not survive without some one taking up the cudgels to shout out on the highways something to this effect: Comrade we will fight this ANC apartheid economy till the last worker standing… Comrades I will kill for Zuma’s no second term. Haak Vrystad …the more you bury JuJu the more he re-incarnates.

So some of these and other utterings, hilarities, bangpraatjies and gatvol woofin as you read on, laid the foundation for our last JuJu to bloom and thrive. The big religious question now is; in which town and province will the next gatvol saviour be born? To merely take the cue by lackeys from this spooky last one, such as in the tired cliché; It’s not your business will not do.

The seasoned comic - lard layers, laden upon the passages bellow, will serve to show you that there had been there before plain oafs ; only unfortunately in miniature showings; with the present younger think-tanks and revolutionary brigades already so advanced and in a haste to usher in the ANC’s envisaged second transition dispensation - to even remember the oft overlooked reality of Nelson Mandela himself, having been a prankster of note. My favourite for reasons perhaps of my own very wry humour is when King Dalibhunga (Nelson Mandela) was reported to have lashed out at the National Party leader Mr. Kortbroek Schalkwyk for saying the ANC cared for the interest of Africans and not for the coloured communities. Then Mandela had retorted that the ANC president Mr. Thabo Mbeki was very sensitive to the needs and concerns of the coloured community. He will do better than I did and he loves you more than I do

I remember reading the last sentence with utter surprise; that it could either have been a Freudian slip or a deliberate banter; while on the same breath, with great hilarity; discovering - Mandela, the great covert stand-up comedian.

You will also note as you read on, that like in the Bible, the shortest verse is: Jesus cried We also have the shortest quotation in this collection, which is:Animal it just bowls me over; and not necessarily as an endorsement of the quote.

CHECK OUT NOW, ONE OF THE WHOOPING LAST BUT ONE BLASTS JUST BEFORE THE ANC EFFECTIVELY CLAMPED DOWN ON OUR WOOFER OF

ALL TIME

I have not been charged with rape. I have not been charged for corruption. I have not been charged for organizing factional meetings and benefiting my own family – Julius Malema

The following passages are in alphabetically ordered columns while the heading themselves are not necessarily in alphabetic sequence.They are utterances of a cross section of South African politicians and other role players; uttered and expressed during a period that spans an era which beginning from now on, is to be referred to as the ‘first transition as the ruling African National Congress sets out to create the second transition era; Another masterpiece total strategy stroke " I surmise; to attempt to debrief our society, of the Julius Malema ghost (Nevertheless a lean and long satire - drought period awaits us indeed as a result.)

ADRIAN VLOK

I agree with the ANC that pangas and axes are not traditional weapons, but we must be very careful when we disarm people. It is not a knife or axe that can be a dangerous weapon. A stone can be even a woman’s shoe, under certain circumstances

ALAN BOESAK

Stop Zuma campaign reeks of swart Gevaar tactics welcome to the world of DA, a party infused with apartheid style politics which has no place in our country

ALAN BOESAK

In the tense wait on Wednesday for the first results, entering TV set up their cameras outside the