The Rat and Other Poems

By Malcolm Whyman

After the interest created by his recently published ebook The Onion Peeler,as promised is the first of two volumes of what the author describes as street poetry,after the style of that great Australian Poet Banjo Paterson. Most of these poems are in a humerous vein and a number are love letters to his beloved City of Nottingham and its people,the remaining poems are a reflection of the darker side of life,human nature,and various events.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Malcolm Whyman
• Release date: Feb 6, 2012
• ISBN: 9781466159518

Malcolm Whyman

Malcolm Whyman has worked and lived in the Nottingham area for the majority of his life. He was a well known face on the Nottingham folk/session scene for many years, personally organising a Monday night sing and drink for a decade. He began writing his biography in 2008, which is now available for free download. He is currently writing two other fictional works, and is near completing a series of folk poems.

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The Rat and Other Poems

By Malcolm Whyman

Copyright 2012 Malcolm Whyman

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The Onion Peeler

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For my wife

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Ode To The Courgette And Marrow

The Rat

Banger Busher

On the Rocks

One Thing

Teds

The Beeston Pudding Wars

The Boots bubble Popper

The kid from Allenbrooke

The man from Hyson Green

Trap a slapper night or Grab a Granny

The Doctor

Nottingham Lads

Cuts

Steeple Jack

Raymond’s Song

Nott’s Allotmenteers

Bus Pass Romeo

Tramps Bicycle

Ode To The Courgette and Marrow

Its skin deep beauty nestles there,

Among it's leaves of spiky hair.

It feels and smells quite appetizing,

A giant green Gods phallus rising.

But no matter who the cook,

It always tastes like fucking muck.

It has no substance and no taste,

The bloody thing’s a waste of space.

Those who praise it must I swear,

Only eat it ‘cos it's there.

With its cheeky little bend,

It makes the perfect housewives friend.

Should penis envy raise its head?

Slice it up for stew instead.

Or make it into courgette soup,

They say it’s good for brewers droop.

I grew its bloated brother marrow,

It cricked me back and smashed me barrow.

If such exertion weren’t enough it,

Took me several days to