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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 31, 1892
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 31, 1892
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 31, 1892
    Ebook119 pages44 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 31, 1892

    By Various Various and F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 27, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 31, 1892

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 31, 1892 - Various Various

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103,

      December 31, 1892, by Various

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, December 31, 1892

      Author: Various

      Editor: Francis Burnand

      Release Date: January 9, 2007 [EBook #20319]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

      Produced by V. L. Simpson, Malcolm Farmer and the Online

      Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

      PUNCH,

      OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

      Vol. 103.

      December 31, 1892.

      THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON.

      (A Characteristic Welcome to the Coming Year.)

      It was on the 31st of December that they met. It had been arranged that at the final hour of the last day of the expiring year they should compare notes, and not one of them had failed to keep the appointment. It would be scarcely right to say they were cheerful, but merriment was not included in the programme.

      The Military Man

      There is not the slightest chance of my bettering myself, said the Military Man. Now that the Regiment has come from India, I can't afford to live at home, and I can't exchange because of my liver. Promotion was never slower than in 'Ours,' and my look-out is about the most ghastly there ever yet was seen.

      The Briefless Barrister

      You are wrong there, observed the Briefless Barrister of mature years. I think mine is a shade worse. I give you my word that during the last twelve months I have not earned enough fees to pay the rent of my Chambers and the salary of my Clerk. And things are getting worse and worse. One of the Solicitors who used to give me an occasional turn has been struck off the Rolls, and the other, has transferred his business to Australia. I feel inclined to follow, but I can't raise the passage-money. What luck, now, could be worse than mine?

      Why mine, answered the Author. An entirely new set of men have come to the front since I was popular, and my works are a drug in the market. I haven't been able to get rid of more than a dozen pages during the twelve months, and they appeared in a Magazine that stopped before the appearance of the next number! The future never looked blacker and more hopeless. I believe I am the most unfortunate man on earth.

      The Doctor

      The Actor who has his Head turned with Applause.

      I fancy you are wrong, put in the Doctor. I think my look-out worse than yours. Sold my practice seven years ago to flutter on the Stock Exchange. Lost my money in seven minutes, and have never had a patient since. I went to West Slocum (my old home) the other day, and found the place occupied by three Doctors, and the local Undertaker told me there was not room enough for one! Talk about luck, I am the unluckiest dog in the world!

      I am not so sure of that, said the Actor, "here have I been 'resting' for the last twelve months, and it seems just as likely as not that I shall continue the operation until '94. I have tried everything in Town and the Provinces, and there isn't

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