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    Fables in Slang
    Fables in Slang
    Fables in Slang
    Ebook161 pages1 hour

    Fables in Slang

    By Clyde J. Newman and George Ade

    3/5

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 25, 2013

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    Reviews for Fables in Slang

    3/5

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    • 3/5
      This book was published in 1972, as the Christmas limited edition gift of the Westvaco Corporation. It is one of 50 in a series stretching over 50 years. Hence the appeal is to collect the series . It came in a slip case and is a very attractive book , designed by Bradley Thompson George Ade was from Indiana, (dates 1866 to 1944)his writing career peaked at the turn of the century . He wrote newspaper columns , plays and musicals . He was a Broadway success. In fact wrote some 2500 published works . In his lifetime his Fables were short moral stories in mid west idiom , language and style , thus his writing is very American in feel . They are a particular genre of American literature. His idol and model was Mark Twain and Ade is regarded as the first American humorist. Extraordinarily, he wrote 10 volumes of fables plus another 250 fables for magazines and newspapers. He was a best seller in his day and became rich on his writings. Westvaco reproduced 26 of the fables in this celebratory issue . I think the annual volumes must have been given as Christmas presents by the corporation . The fables today are rather dated and the morals a bit obscure, the humor is forced and you need to read the tales for their irony. It comes across as a winning formula that appealed to the readers of his era; he had an ear for language and local dialect and the slang is really colloquial speech. I learnt that Hoosier is a name for people from Indiana and I presume the type who would have chuckled at Ade's writing . I am not American so my appreciation lies in the quality of the book and the charm of the Louis Sullivan delicate decorative drawings which preface each tale. The book falls into the collectable quaint category, as a stylish production, with the red embossed red cloth cover . Unless you are a mid westerner buy it for the attractiveness of the book rather than the content .
    • 3/5
      How the Overuse of Capitalization can turn a story into a Fable. Still hilarious after one hundred years.

    Book preview

    Fables in Slang - Clyde J. Newman

    The Project Gutenberg EBook of Fables in Slang, by George Ade

    This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

    almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

    re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

    with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net

    Title: Fables in Slang

    Author: George Ade

    Illustrator: Clyde J. Newman

    Release Date: May 4, 2008 [EBook #25322]

    Language: English

    *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FABLES IN SLANG ***

    Produced by David Edwards, Graeme Mackreth and the Online

    Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This

    book was produced from scanned images of public domain

    material from the Google Print project.)

    Fables in Slang

    FABLES

    IN

    SLANG

    by

    GEORGE ADE

    ILLUSTRATED

    by

    CLYDE J. NEWMAN

    PUBLISHED BY

    HERBERT S. STONE AND COMPANY CHICAGO & NEW YORK

    MDCCCCI

    COPYRIGHT, 1899, BY

    HERBERT S. STONE & CO.

    The Author and the Publishers wish to acknowledge the courtesy of Victor F. Lawson, Esq., in permitting the reissue of these Fables in book form, after their appearance in the columns of The Chicago Record.

    SIXTY-EIGHTH THOUSAND

    Table of Contents

    The Fable of the Visitor Who Got a Lot for Three Dollars

    The Fable of the Slim Girl Who Tried to Keep a Date that was Never Made

    The Fable of the New York Person Who Gave the Stage Fright to Fostoria, Ohio

    The Fable of the Kid Who Shifted His Ideal

    The Fable of the Base Ball Fan Who Took the Only Known Cure

    The Fable of the Good Fairy with the Lorgnette, and why She Got It Good

    The Fable of the Unintentional Heroes of Centreville

    The Fable of the Parents Who Tinkered with the Offspring

    The Fable of How He Never Touched George

    The Fable of the Preacher Who Flew His Kite, but not Because He Wished to Do So

    The Fable of Handsome Jethro, Who was Simply Cut Out to be a Merchant

    The Fable of Paducah's Favorite Comedians and the Mildewed Stunt

    The Fable of Flora and Adolph and a Home Gone Wrong

    The Fable of the Copper and the Jovial Undergrads

    The Fable of the Professor Who Wanted to be Alone

    The Fable of a Statesman Who Couldn't Make Good

    The Fable of the Brash Drummer and the Peach Who Learned that There Were Others

    The Fable of Sister Mae, Who Did as Well as Could Be Expected

    The Fable of How the Fool-Killer Backed Out of a Contract

    The Fable of the Caddy Who Hurt His Head while Thinking

    The Fable of the Martyr Who Liked the Job

    The Fable of the Bohemian Who had Hard Luck

    The Fable of the Coming Champion Who was Delayed

    The Fable of the Lawyer Who Brought in a Minority Report

    The Fable of the Two Mandolin Players and the Willing Performer

    The Fable of the Man Who Didn't Care for Story-Books

    THE FABLE OF THE VISITOR WHO GOT A LOT FOR THREE DOLLARS.

    The Learned Phrenologist sat in his Office surrounded by his Whiskers.

    Now and then he put a Forefinger to his Brow and glanced at the Mirror to make sure that he still resembled William Cullen Bryant.

    Near him, on a Table, was a Pallid Head made of Plaster-of-Paris and stickily ornamented with small Labels. On the wall was a Chart showing that the Orangoutang does not have Daniel Webster's facial angle.

    Is the Graft played out? asked the Learned Phrenologist, as he waited. Is Science up against it or What?

    Then he heard the fall of Heavy Feet and resumed his Imitation. The Door opened and there came into the Room a tall, rangy Person with a Head in the shape of a Rocky Ford Cantaloupe.

    Aroused from his Meditation, the Learned Phrenologist looked up at the Stranger as through a Glass, darkly, and pointed to a Red Plush Chair.

    The Easy Mark collapsed into the Boarding-House Chair and the Man with more Whiskers than Darwin ever saw stood behind Him and ran his Fingers over his Head, Tarantula-Wise.

    THE LEARNED PHRENOLOGIST

    Well, well! said the Learned Phrenologist Enough Benevolence here to do a family of Eight. Courage? I guess yes! Dewey's got the same kind of a Lump right over the Left Ear. Love of Home and Friends—like the ridge behind a Bunker! Firmness—out of sight! Reverence—well, when it comes to Reverence, you're certainly There with the Goods! Conscientiousness, Hope, and Ideality—the Limit! And as for Metaphysical Penetration—oh, Say, the Metaphysical Penetration, right where you part the Hair—oh, Laura! Say, you've got Charles Eliot Norton whipped to a Custard. I've got my Hand on it now. You can feel it yourself, can't you?

    I can feel Something, replied the Human Being, with a rapt Smile.

    HUMAN BEING

    Wit, Compassion and Poetic Talent—right here where I've got my Thumb—a Cinch! I think you'll run as high as 98 per cent on all the Intellectual Faculties. In your Case we have a Rare Combination of Executive Ability, or the Power to Command, and those Qualities of Benevolence and Ideality which contribute to the fostering of Permanent Religious Sentiment. I don't know what your present Occupation is, but you ought to be President of a Theological Seminary. Kindly slip me Three Dollars before you Pass Out.

    The Tall Man separated himself from Two Days' Pay and then went out on the Street and pushed People off the Sidewalk, He thought so well of Himself.

    Thereafter, as before, he drove a Truck, but he was always glad to know that he could have been President of a Theological Seminary.

    Moral: A good Jolly is worth Whatever you Pay for it.

    THE FABLE OF THE SLIM GIRL WHO TRIED TO KEEP A DATE THAT WAS NEVER MADE

    Once upon a Time there was a slim Girl with a Forehead which was Shiny and Protuberant, like a Bartlett Pear. When asked to

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