What I Was

By Meg Rosoff

In 1962, a 16-year-old boy is dropped off by his father at a boarding school on the windswept coast of East Anglia. It is a model of its kind–the rooms are freezing, the food is disgusting, the older boys are sadistic, and the masters are the ineffectual, damaged castoffs of a dying Empire.

But the boy is used to the drill and well practiced at detached dreaming, imagining himself someone else, somewhere else. Until one day, falling behind one of the regular runs along the coast, he meets Finn.
Finn seems like a character from a novel, or a dream. Dressed in clothes that look the way they did a century before, Finn lives alone with his cat in a tiny fisherman’s hut. The two become friends, the boy risking scandalous rumour and expulsion from school.

But the idyll cannot last, disaster invades from all sides, and the boy discovers that nothing has been what he believed.

What I Was will cement Meg Rosoff’s reputation as a writer of extraordinary skill and sensitivity, who recreates with uncanny exactness the passions of youth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Release date: May 29, 2009
• ISBN: 9780307373403

Meg Rosoff

Meg Rosoff is a hugely versatile novelist for children and adults and has won the Branford Boase Award, the Carnegie Medal, the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize and the Printz Award. Her post-apocalyptic How I Live Now was made into a major motion picture starring Saoirse Ronan and Picture Me Gone was shortlisted for the National Book Award in the USA. Originally from Massachusetts, Meg now lives in London.

Reviews for What I Was

[katie1802 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This was certainly one of the most interesting books I have ever read, everything about it was just so unorthodox, and not necessarily in a good way. It was the least captivating book ever, and even though as a whole it was good, it took way too long to figure that out. Twist was just weird, read with caution.

[joeydag · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Interesting YA novel about a 16 year old boy in an 1962 England and how is life is changed by an inspirational, yet disturbing relationship with another teen. Slow going at first but the pace and intensity build.

[jennybeast · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What I've come to expect from Meg Rosoff is spare, utterly enthralling prose, that tells a story from a teen perspective without judgment. She also manages to capture the surreal in everyday life and a somewhat indefinable portrait of the thought patterns of teenagers. That sounds more generalized than I mean. She makes me remember how I thought at that time in my life, and what was important, and how the world was strange and I didn't have any idea how it would turn out. Perspective. She's a master at portraying her characters' perspective and staying out of the story. Brilliant.

[amaraki-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Coming of age novel with a twist. Enjoyed its adolescently cynical humour which was a very strong element throughout, but not much else to recommend it to my adult palate. The events were too much of a stretch for me to get into the story. This kid from the school falls for another young kid from the village who lives on its own and isolated and kid one regularly visits kid two --with no one wising up from the school-- until one day there is a huge storm and a tragedy occurs...

[satyridae · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Rosoff has written another moving book. Though the big reveal struck me as less surprising than perhaps it was supposed to, the story is a deep and satisfying one. My favorite passage:
"Nevertheless, I can tell you that you will awake someday to find that your life has rushed by at a speed at once impossible and cruel. The most intense moments will seem to have occurred only yesterday and nothing will have erased the pain and pleasure, the impossible intensity of love and its dog-leaping happiness, the bleak blackness of passions unrequited, or unexpressed, or unresolved."

A lovely little book. Rosoff's style is so understated that I don't realize how far in I've gone till the end, when it takes me a long time to surface.

[jenneb_2 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Hmm, an odd little story. I'm surprised we didn't catalog it (or it wasn't published) as YA.
Maybe a little too "lyrical" for me.

[ma_washigeri · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Interesting. Nearly a fine book but missed the grade somehow. I got the feeling that it meant much more to the author but she wasn't really prepared to share with the reader when it came down to it. Shame because it was full of good rich ideas about identity and how it is formed.

[kk1_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Liked it - story of a young boy sneaking away from the tyranny of his school, to hang out with a friend, who lives alone in a hut, on an island cut off by the tide, with no rules.

[bugsyboog · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was a weird fiction novel, very much in this artist’s tradition, this one is set at a boarding school for boys. It is a little like A Separate Peace. The main character, whose name is H (Hilary, which you don’t find out until the end), is just an average slacker whose parents have enough money to send him off to a boarding school, hoping he can make something of himself. He enjoys his mediocrity, but does try not to get kicked out of yet another boarding school.While on a gym class run one day, H meets someone who lives in a small hut by the sea. He becomes obsessed almost, and he does everything he can to see this guy. The boy’s name is Finn, and he lives alone by the sea, earning his keep by selling his daily catches at the market in town. It is clear the narrator is very interested in Finn physically, but emotionally as well. H even stays at school one holiday, tricking his parents and the school administration. He stays with Finn, and they explore and become quiet friends. It is not to last, however, as H brings a terrible cold/virus from school to Finn, and Finn gets terribly sick. H tries to take care of Finn, but Finn just keeps getting worse. Unfortunately, H has no choice but to report his friend’s sickness in order to get help. Surprisingly, when Finn goes to the hospital, she uses H’s name (Hilary), and then you find out that Finn is a girl. A weird story, but compelling anyway. It was well-written, and this author is always bending the rules on attraction and love. H has to deal with the fact that when he exposed Finn, he ruined Finn’s way of life, an anonymous, simple existence that H had so envied.  

[sandystuart · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In 1962, a 16-year-old boy is dropped off by his father at a boarding school on the windswept coast of East Anglia. It is a model of its kind–the rooms are freezing, the food is disgusting, the older boys are sadistic, and the masters are the ineffectual, damaged castoffs of a dying Empire.But the boy is used to the drill and well practiced at detached dreaming, imagining himself someone else, somewhere else. Until one day, falling behind one of the regular runs along the coast, he meets Finn.Finn seems like a character from a novel, or a dream. Dressed in clothes that look the way they did a century before, Finn lives alone with his cat in a tiny fisherman’s hut. The two become friends, the boy risking scandalous rumour and expulsion from school.But the idyll cannot last, disaster invades from all sides, and the boy discovers that nothing has been what he believed.What I Was will cement Meg Rosoff’s reputation as a writer of extraordinary skill and sensitivity, who recreates with uncanny exactness the passions of youth.

[lizpatanders · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

An intriguing novel filled with obscure characters. I enjoyed this book, although I thought it was exceptionally odd and maybe could have used more development. For me it was largely about the main character's relationships, how he defined those relationships and what that said about him as a character. It is also somewhat of a commentary on non-conformity. A good read overall.

[taramatchi · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I got about 100 pages in and just could not get myself to move on. The language seemed excessively wordy and even though she excessively uses language to try and describe the surroundings and characters, I was not able to fully picture them. I cared less about the characters and their relationship. The story was bland and uneventful and I really could not decipher what the point of the story was. It had a similar flow to How I Live Now, but the voice was not as interesting. I usually look forward to my time in the car and hearing the next part of a book I am listening to, but not in this case. Who knows, maybe I am just having a bad day. Never the less, I am crossing it off the to read list

[mmillet_7 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I don't know what to say about this book. Undeniably, I was captivated by the story, the amazing narrative style and the seemingly innocent pull of events. What I'm not sure about is the amount of closure the book offered or even if more had been offered if I would have been satisfied. As in 'How I live Now' Rosoff is a master at leaving things unsaid and encouraging the reader to continue to puzzle through her stories long after you've finished them. All in all, a haunting tale about youth -- the misconceptions of youth and how single moments can change the entire course of a life.

[meggyweg · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

My favorite Meg Rosoff book so far. How I Live Now was good, but I was stunned by this one. From the dust jacket annotation I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to buy the plot, but once I started the story I found it perfectly plausible. The twist ending is something I hadn't seen coming, which is unusual -- usually I guess surprise endings ahead of time, which is kind of a drag. Best of all is the atmosphere of the story. From Rosoff's descriptions I could practically see the North Sea fog and the cold of the icy waters and the unheated school.This book won't appeal to people who need a lot of action in their stories -- it's more your typical English novel, moving sedately along. But if you go for that sort of thing -- and I do, sometimes -- I HIGHLY recommend this.

[hairball_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I think this book held more promise than it delivered. I want to know why there aren't more books about public education for girls in England. Was it not a similarly scarring experience? I was hoping for the narrator to drown himself at the end, but alas! No such luck.

[par53 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

You think, that for most of this story, you are reading a sensitive account of a 16 year-old boy in the sixties, struggling to come to terms with the fact that he is gay. The end of the story completely revises your perception.

[stephaniechase_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Strange little book, with a simple yet intriguing story.

[airdna_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An old man looking back on his life reflects on the year he turned 16, when an intense friendship with a mysterious boy brought freedom from the rules and drudgery of his British boarding school existence and changed him forever. At 209 pages, this is quick read but beautifully crafted, with characters, settings and atmosphere that resonate and linger in the reader's imagination.

[wyvernfriend · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is an interesting story and a lot of the interesting is spoilerish, which makes it quite a difficult book to review, though one of my first guesses was incorrect the other was quite correct.Hilary is a reluctant student in his fourth school, he's not trying very hard to fit in to his new school and you don't really blame him, the school doesn't challenge him in ways that matter for him, then again he doesn't care. He meets with Finn, who lives alone on a tidal island that's being slowly eroded by the tides. Finn doesn't go to school, lives according to whim and is Hilary's ideal. As their friendship grows problems start to creap into their situation and when it all goes horribly wrong it's interesting to see how things resolveIt's an interesting read, one that really caught me by surprise and wouldn't let go throughout.

[kenck4 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

While reading this book the realization came that this quiet and unassuming story was sucking me into it. It never shouted anything. The book is told in the reliving of a life that is almost over. The twilight where everything can appear so obvious and simple. We all wish we could see the story before it is played out and this book feels as if you can. Because of this it makes you think about decisions that you made in your life and wonder if maybe you could/should have done something different. A wonderful book that can really touch you.

[mikefarquhar · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

What I Was is Meg Rosoff's widely anticipated third novel for adolescents, her first two having won the Guardian Children's Fiction Prize and the Carnegie Medal respectively. As with those novels, What I Was features a plausible troubled teen, a lad sent to his thid boarding school in quick succession, following previous expulsions. At St Oswald's - a cold, dismal and spartan school on the crumbling east Anglian coast - he comes to meet another boy, Finn, living a seemingly free life in relative isolation in an old hut on the beach. As he gets to know Finn, a powerful relationship builds, which slowly spirals to a cathartic conclusion.Rosoff's central character is in that flux period of late adolescence - full of questions about his own self, discovering love for the first time, struggling to engage with family and authority figures. The book is narrated by the boy grown into a man as he looks back on what was ultimately the defining period of his life, and is infused with a gentle adult wistfulness for all the potential we carry within us at that time in our lives. The plot has a couple of twists to it, both of which are fairly predictable, but it does not suffer too much for it.Rosoff is a writer who respects and understands her target audience; if this has any major flaw it is perhaps that there is slightly too much adult nostalgia seeping back into the story from the future, but she manages it well.