The Power of Adversity: Tough Times Can Make You Stronger, Wiser, and Better
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Misfortune . . . Failure . . . Illness . . . It seems adversity dooms us to lives of frustration.
Not so, according to dynamic industrialist and major philanthropist Al Weatherhead. He says adversity is not a curse but a gift--and that when we embrace our problems we temper and empower ourselves to achieve unimagined success.
With insight and compassion, Weatherhead helps us understand that the question we must ask ourselves when bowled over by life's troubles is not "Why me?” but instead, "Why not me?”
In the process, this pragmatic and profound book reveals the secret to achieving a greater understanding and mastery of life by harnessing the Power of Adversity.
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The Power of Adversity - Al Weatherhead
STOP SEEING PROBLEMS AND START SEEING OPPORTUNITIES!
We all experience adversity—the seemingly insurmountable crises that occur in our lives. Whatever form the adversity takes, it is usually a source of anger, sadness, frustration, and anxiety. Not so, according to dynamic industrialist and major philanthropist Al Weatherhead. He says adversity is not a curse but a gift—and that when we embrace our problems, we temper and empower ourselves to achieve unimagined success.
With insight and compassion. Weatherhead helps us understand that the question we must ask ourselves when bowled over by life's troubles is not "Why me? but instead,
Why not me? As tennis champion Arthur Ashe said,
If I were to say, Why me?' about the bad things, then I should have said. ‘Why me?’ about the good things that happened in my life.
Though he has been extraordinarily successful in life. Weatherhead has dealt with his own share of adversities, including alcoholism, rheumatoid arthritis, heart disease, and family estrangement—yet he found a way to emerge a better person. Using his experience, he has developed twenty-two rules for mastering adversity. The power of Adversity shows you how to find your own way through these crises to become a stronger, wiser, metre loving, and more creative human being.
In the process, this pragmatic and profound book reveals the secret to achieving a greater understanding and mastery of life by harnessing the Power of Adversity.
The Power of Adversity is a courageous book in which legendary businessman and philanthropist Al Weatherhead describes how adversity—properly understood—can be a catalyst for powerful and meaningful personal transformation. Read it and be inspired—for yourself and for someone you love. Highly recommended.
—Dean Ornish, MD
Founder and President,
Preventive Medicine Research Institute
Clinical Professor of Medicine,
University of California, San Francisco
Author, The Spectrum and Dr. Dean Ornish's
Program for Reversing Heart Disease
Copyright © 2008
by Al Weatherhead, with Fred Feldman
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this work in any form whatsoever, without permission in writing from the publisher, except for brief passages in connection with a review.
Cover design by Steve Amarillo
Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.
1125 Stoney Ridge Road
Charlottesville, VA 22902
434-296-2772
fax: 434-296-5096
e-mail: hrpc@hrpub.com
www.hrpub.com
If you are unable to order this book from your local bookseller, you may order directly from the publisher.
Call 1-800-766-8009, toll-free.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Weatherhead, Al, 1925-
The power of adversity : tough times can make you stronger, wiser, and better / Al Weatherhead, with Fred Feldman.
p. cm.
Summary: Presents a different take on adversity: rather than succumbing to life's obstacles, we can use them to strengthen and improve ourselves
–Provided by publisher.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-57174-562-0 (5 × 7.25 tc : alk. paper)
1. Success--Psychological aspects. 2. Self-management (Psychology) 3. Crisis management. 4. Suffering. 5. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Feldman, Fred, 1950- II. Title.
BF637.S8W3375 2008
2007039737
ISBN 978-1-57174-562-0
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed on acid-free paper in the United States
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What wee gave, wee have;
What wee spent, wee had;
What wee left, wee lost.
—Edward Courtenay, Earl of Devon (1419)
For
celia
Contents
Foreword by K. Lance Gould, MD
Acknowledgments
ONE
We're Not Meant to Be Happy . . . We're Meant to Grow
TWO
If I'm at the Center of the Universe . . . Where Are You?
THREE
Don't Ask "Why Me? Instead, Ask
Why Not Me?"
FOUR
I Suffer Passes . . . I Suffered Never Passes
FIVE
Adversity Builds Walls for You to Tear Down
SIX
Running Away Never Helps
SEVEN
Four Techniques to Help You Harness the Power of Adversity
EIGHT
Five Tips to Help You Put Adversity in Perspective
NINE
Problem Solving Is One of the Great Joys in Life
TEN
There Is Always a Great Idea Lurking in Adversity . . . Will You Find It?
Afterword
APPENDIX A
Adversity Check List
APPENDIX B
Adversity Work Sheet
Endnotes
Index
Foreword
by K. Lance Gould, MD
Our lives and histories are commonly altered by some catastrophe, bad luck, hardship, misfortune, or disaster, sometimes of our own doing and sometimes out of the blue. What's poison to one may be food for another, depending on one's point of view. In the gloom of some current trouble, we also dream of a happy ending, of getting through, of changing, getting around, or overcoming the difficulty. However, for some that dream dies with no happy ending. Adversity then imposes a choice of what we do with it.
Stories from the first cave paintings to Shakespeare to this weekend's movie recount these choices and their outcomes. In keeping with this tradition, this book recounts Al Weatherhead's life, arguing that adversity may be a source of power, power to a happy ending though perhaps not the one originally or conventionally imagined. We normal mortals connect with the great rags-to-riches, life-and-death stories through the flaws of the heroes. Their faults inspire us to believe we can overcome adversity, just as they did, despite our deficiencies or self-destructive traits.
Al had the genes and family environment to make or mess up his life, doing both in substantial portions. His story includes familial affection, conflict and rejection, an adventurous, hell-raising youth, discovering work and self, failure and success, debilitating pain, alcoholism, heart disease, and altruism. Here is everyman's antihero, with lots of knobs and bumps going somewhere in unexpected zigs and zags.
In most accounts of a man's adversity, a woman makes the story possible, as Celia Weatherhead does in this one. Without her, there would likely be no transcending the bad to the good, no story, only a number down. Al makes clear the essential role of a loving and loved woman in his story.
Adversity—coronary heart disease—brought Al to me. Constantly ahead of conventional thinking, he wanted a proactive alternative to bypass surgery, disability, or premature death. With characteristic intensity, he succeeded admirably with healthy food, hard workouts, and appropriate medications, resulting in improved blood flow through his coronary arteries by an advanced imaging technology called positron emission tomography, or PET, which I had been developing for the heart.
He also tested me with a modest research grant that worked and then tested the entire University of Texas system with his innovative ideas on charitable funding. The adversities that he overcame in business and health bloomed into innovation given back in those same troubled areas of his life.
Philosophy/introspection and action/pragmatism are commonly opposing extremes. Rarely, all come together in one piece or one person. Al is the real thing. He has wrestled with his demons, walked the walk of life through thorns and roses, with Celia, and now gives back to the lives of others.
How to bounce back? The book tells you. It is a fascinating biography and an inspiring instruction manual for turning life's adversities to the good.
K. Lance Gould, MD
Acknowledgments
A decade ago I believed writing a book was as easy as rolling off a log. You sat down, wrote, and then your book was published. Now I know differently. A million words must be written before one is published.
My wife, Celia, is my guardian, guide, and stay. Her love and support throughout our lives is inestimable. Exposing my heart and soul to the world is gut wrenching and not easily done. She helped me ford the river of my adversity to the far bank and gave me life's precious gift: to know thyself. Thanks, Celia.
My deepest thanks and admiration to Rob Wilkens. Rob, you nurtured me through the early years; you were demanding, dedicated, and inspirational in telling me, This story must be told.
Betsy Radin, you're a treasure. Thanks for your help and endless iterations. They were a blessing.
Fred Feldman, your good-natured poking and prodding were terrific and terrorizing. You never let me off the hook. Thank you.
As agent, friend, and guide, Al Zuckerman is the exemplar for all to follow.
At Hampton Roads, my greatest appreciation and gratitude to Jack Jennings and his hands-on group who were invaluable in their efforts in crafting this book.
A final thank you to all who have helped me in my life. You have all been wondrous, and I owe everything to your kindnesses.
ONE
We're Not Meant to Be Happy . . . We're Meant to Grow
When written in Chinese the word crisis
is composed of two characters—one represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
—John F. Kennedy
We face adversity every day. We spend most of our lives trying to bounce back from it. I'm not talking about gremlinlike, daily irritations such as traffic jams, computer glitches, and so on. We can usually shrug those off pretty well. I'm referring to tragic, life-changing adversity like cancer, divorce, and getting fired.
Such major adversity can drive any of us to contemplate the unthinkable: committing suicide quickly with a gun, a razor blade, or an overdose of pills, or killing ourselves more slowly, but just as effectively, by drowning our pain in booze or obliterating it, along with our minds, with mood-altering, addictive drugs.
Major adversity more often than not is the culprit that brings about the so-called deaths by natural causes of heart attack and stroke. And then there are the accidental deaths stemming from automobile accidents, plane crashes, and the various other tragedies attributed to human error or unknown mechanical failures. Nor can we rule out personal adversity and its role in distracting us and affecting our judgment at critical moments, from the pilot landing an airplane, to the mechanic servicing brakes, to the stressed-out mom or dad behind the wheel of the family car running a red light or not seeing a stop sign.
In all these dismal scenarios adversity breaks down our bodies and taxes our spirits with overwhelming despair. It is the Pandora's Box that floods us with misery. But there can be another scenario, if we learn how to tame adversity and make it serve us.
Believe me, I know, because I've had my share of major adversity, and from an early age.
I was born the son