We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir

Written by Samra Habib

Narrated by Parmida Vand

CANADA READS 2020 WINNER
SHORTLISTED FOR THE 2020 EDNA STAEBLER AWARD FOR CREATIVE NON-FICTION
NATIONAL BESTSELLER
2020 LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD WINNER
ONE OF BOOK RIOT'S 100 MOST INFLUENTIAL QUEER BOOKS OF ALL TIME

How do you find yourself when the world tells you that you don't exist?

Samra Habib has spent most of their life searching for the safety to be themself. As an Ahmadi Muslim growing up in Pakistan, they faced regular threats from Islamic extremists who believed the small, dynamic sect to be blasphemous. From their parents, they internalized the lesson that revealing their identity could put them in grave danger.

When their family came to Canada as refugees, Samra encountered a whole new host of challenges: bullies, racism, the threat of poverty, and an arranged marriage. Backed into a corner, their need for a safe space--in which to grow and nurture their creative, feminist spirit--became dire. The men in Samra's life wanted to police them, the women in their life had only shown them the example of pious obedience, and their body was a problem to be solved.

So begins an exploration of faith, art, love, and queer sexuality, a journey that takes them to the far reaches of the globe to uncover a truth that was within them all along. A triumphant memoir of forgiveness and family, both chosen and not, We Have Always Been Here is a rallying cry for anyone who has ever felt out of place and a testament to the power of fearlessly inhabiting one's truest self.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Penguin Canada
• Release date: Jun 4, 2019
• ISBN: 9780735237612

Samra Habib

Samra Habib is a writer, photographer, and activist. As a journalist they've covered topics ranging from fashion trends and Muslim dating apps to the rise of Islamophobia in the US. Their writing has appeared in the New York Times, Guardian, and Advocate, their portraits have been exhibited at the V&A in London and their photo project, 'Just Me and Allah', has been featured in Nylon, i-D, Vanity Fair Italia, Vice, and Washington Post. They work with LGBTQ organizations internationally, raising awareness of issues that impact queer Muslims around the world. We Have Always Been Here is they're first book.

Reviews for We Have Always Been Here

[love.yara44 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wish I could read it for the first time again.

[quondame · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

What is included is well written, though only the details and the intersectionality of Muslem/persecuted sub-sect/LGBTQ+/POC/Woman makes it stand out from the find yourself while Muslem in NA or Messaianic sub sect or Lesbian in late 20th cent Canada or POC/ibid or Woman/ibid. There's so many non-standards, and all the beats are 4/4. So competent but not impressive.

[dorothy2012-444115 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A must-read.

[greeniezona · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

One of those books that had been on my shelves for WAY too long before I finally read it, and then once I did I loved it so much I'm embarrassed by how long it took me to get around to it.

I really, REALLY loved this. as a queer Muslim memoir, yes, it contains the conflict and displacement and rejection that you would expect, but it is also SO FILLED with the euphoria of slowly finding/creating yourself, in a way that demonizes no one but fear.

An amazing book.

[sriddell_8 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Such a fascinating story. Samra tells of her young childhood in Pakistan, before her family emigrates to Canada to escape religious persecution. Her family belongs to a sect of Muslims out of favor in Pakistan.

Arriving in Canada, her family forces her into an arranged marriage at a very early age. She doesn't love her new husband, and in fact is so young that she continues to live at home until she's old enough to be a wife (Yikes!).

She manages to divorce this first husband. She attends college, meets and marries her second husband. While this marriage is her choice, she doesn't feel true to herself. As she begins to explore her true feelings and identity, she realizes she queer (her word) and attracted more to women. She finds the courage to leave husband two and live a more authentic life.

Over the course of her 20's she works hard to gain acceptance and embrace her full identity as gay AND Muslim AND brown AND immigrant.

She describes difficult times but the whole story is told with so much warmth and grace. There were a few parts that really stood out for me. When she discovered a mosque that would accept her as both gay and Muslim. And when she eventually reconciles with her parents.

[librarycin · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

3.5 stars

Samra Habib was still a girl when her entire family came to Canada from Pakistan. They were a part of a minority group of Muslims who were discriminated against in their own country. As she grew up, she knew she didn’t see things the same as her parents and she did not want to marry her cousin in the arranged marriage that had been planned. In fact, she wasn’t interested in men at all, and thought she may be asexual. As an adult, she came to realize that she was, in fact, queer. And she learned how to reconcile that with her Muslim faith.

This was good. It did move quickly and it felt like it skipped forward fast in some cases. It was interesting to read about, though.

[gypsysmom_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I decided to read/listen to this book when it was chosen as the winner of the 2020 Canada Reads competition. My pick of the books on the short list was Small Game Hunting at the Local Coward Gun Club is, I still think, better than this one but I did find this book very interesting.

Habib was raised in Lahore, Pakistan as part of the Ahmadi sect (which I had never heard of until this book). Members of this sect were quite often threatened and abused by Muslims of other sects. The situation became so dire that the family applied to enter Canada as refugees. Canada was relatively safe but Samra was often bullied at school. While she was still young she entered into an arranged marriage with a cousin who had come to Canada with Samra's family. She eventually told her family that she did not want to become a traditional Muslim wife and the marriage was dissolved, but Samra was treated as an outcast in her mosque. She moved in with a male friend from high school which was equally as shocking to her family. So Samra and the friend got married which made the situation marginally better. However, Samra was realizing that she was attracted to women and she started referring to herself as queer. She didn't come out to her parents for some time and when she did they didn't accept her sexuality immediately. Because of her love for them eventually they made amends. Samra also found a Muslim mosque that accepted queer folk as members which helped her. Samra also learned to accept herself as she worked on a photography project documenting other Queer Muslims. She said in an interview on CBC that writing this book was key to understanding herself better. Hopefully it will also be of benefit to other youth dealing with their sexuality.

[lamour_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Habib was born in Pakistan and spent her early years in Lahore. As a member of the Ahmadis, a sect within Islam but one persecuted by other Moslems, she faced injury and even death. Eventually her family moved to Canada for safety reasons and settled in Toronto. Habib's parents organized her marriage when she was a child and she married the man when she was 16 years old. As he indicated that he believed a husband must beat his wife in order to control her, Samra rebelled and the marriage was dissolved.

It took many years until she accepted the fact she was gay and much of the volume is the trials she went through until she came to that point. Her relationship with her family who were very devout Muslims takes up important portions of the book.

Based on her descriptions of life in Pakistan, I cannot say I have any urge to go there. A reading of this volume does give the read a chance at understanding some of the power of Islam. Despite the negative treatment she experienced because of her religion, she still loved it as it provided her with comfort and support.

This was the winner of the 2020 Canada Reads.

[lynnb_64 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I'm glad I read this book because it showed me a side of Islam that I was not familiar with. The author is queer (to use her own term), yet attached to her faith, and she finds that she is not alone in being both Muslim and queer. We hear so much about the violent, fanatical sides of Islam that I was happy to learn about a positive aspect of many of that faith. I think this is an important book for both queer Muslims and the rest of us.

That said, I found the book a little dull. The author is a trained journalist and I think she has written about her life more as an observer than as the main character in her own story. I don't feel I know her even after learning about her struggles with faith and sexuality. It wasn't a bad book....just not nearly as interesting as I'd expected.

[fred_mouse · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Habib’s memoir is honest and open, and a much appreciated window into a different way of life to mine. So good that it is now possible to have a range of queer voices telling their stories.

[over.the.edge · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir
by Samra Habib
due 6-4-2019
Viking
5.0 / 5.0

Samra Habibś journey of self-discovery, while remaining loyal to her deep religious beliefs, is stunning and emotional and revealing. It made me re-consider my thoughts on Islam, organized religion and social privilege.

Samra shares her childhood in Pakistan, growing up in a climate of fear, feeling like an outsider because of her families belief and following of the Ahmadi Movement. It was legal to torture and kill Ahmadi followers by the Sunniś. Her belief in Muhammad has been important to her throughout her life. In 1991, She immigrated to Canada, moving into an apt complex that had other Ahmadi families, but few were Pakistani and she felt very alone.

Samra married twice before realizing she may be queer, Once was an arranged marriage to a first cousin. Until she met other gay people, the possibility of being gay never occurred to her. She realized her sexual identity when it became visible to her. Visibility is so important and essential.

Samra Habibś novel reminds how important allowing all people visibility, all people equal opportunity and all people with respect and dignity. Habib reminds us how human we all are. Itś how humane we treat each other that truly separates us. Highly recommended novel.
Thanks to Random House/Canada, Samra Habib and net galley for this e-book ARC for a fair and honest review.
#netgalley #WeHaveAlwaysBeenHere